My partner has an issue with gambling that has progressed over time. She knows she has an issue and has in the past started to put things in place before finding an excuse to not continue with these. She recently was told by someone she seeked help from to pass over financial control to the. During this time she has had money when needed or wanted just not in connection to gambling. She has begun putting pressure on me to give her the money to use for gambling, often threatening to contact the mother of my child and cause problems. I love my partner to bits but the stress from this and is causing my depression and anxiety to worsen, (I suffer from stress anxiety and depression, brought on from the recent death of both of my parents, which affects my epilepsy) I have told her this and she gets nasty telling me it isn't because of her gambling. I have argued back and said some nasty things about her gambling at times but I can't take any more of this. If she has access to all the money it will all go in half an hour, this is a recurring theme. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Stand your ground and do t give in ! I myself am a compulsive gambler, I can understand the stress, anxiety and heartache it puts on lives ones because I have put my partner through a lot of this over the 7 years I have gambled. Since the last time I slipped I have handed full financial control to her and put a lot of things in place to prevent it from happening again.
She needs to admit she has a problem and stop trying to put so much pressure on you. Especially with the loss you have had, I feel for you buddy, but if she cant come to terms with the fact she has a problem then she obviously doesn't want help, maybe you could both just have your own finances then when she's blew through hers in half hour or hour what not, let her struggle I know it sounds bad but I think most of us compulsive gamblers really need to feel rock bottom before we realise it's time to change, how about asking your partner to come on here and take.a look at some of the posts, maybe your post, my post.
You really do need to stand your ground on this one and be as strong as possible.
From my experience and learning about cgd we cant control the Gambling so it's not like we can do a little bit here and there, eventually we lose it all, Fact !
I hope to hear from you soon mate, take care. Danpo
Hi as danpo said you have to stand your ground. There are many ways to restrict access to gambling and money. It sounds like she is still gambling. When you give her money does she supply a receipt? If not how do you know what it's being spent on?
Your priority is yourself. Find a gamanon meeting in your area and get some support.
what does she gamble on? If it's online you can download blocking software. She can sign up to gamstop. There are bank accounts that help , some block gambling, some teach better management.
Ultimately if a gambler chooses to gamble they will find a way to get that money. Therefore it's far more important to protect yourself financially. No joint accounts. Pay everything yourself, never give a gambler money to pay bills.
Get help for you. See your gp, you can't manage all this alone, you are vulnerable too.
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