New User - brother addicted

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(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Hi all, Im Sarah and have just joined. 

My younger brother is addicted to gambling online. In the past he has conned & manipulated approx £30k from my parents and has just this week blown his £900 wage in two days. Now he’s back onto my parents (who are in their 70’s and my dads working 7 days a week to try & pay off their debts) 

We are at our wits end with him. He has had counselling in the past which didn’t help but I think thats because he didn’t want it to. He smokes cannabis too & will think nothing of texting my poor mum telling her drug dealers are banging on his door for money, which is infact a lie. 

Any advice would be gratefully received as if this carries on, I can see my parents being in early graves. 

 
Posted : 25th April 2019 8:27 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)
Posts: 1491
 

Hi Sarah is there a gamanon meeting in your area? That's the best place to get some real help and support. You must impress upon your parents that giving him money for either drugs or gambling is enabling him. If they want him to get better or for this to stop they have to stop giving him money. Stepchange help with advice on both debts, loan sharks, etc, all of these things, call them. Tell your brother the only help he needs is a meeting. You and your parents can only offer emotional support. You want him to get well. Cannabis and gambling affect mental health. 'Frank' is another place to call regarding the use of drugs. Continuing to give him money is not helping. Keep yourselves safe, secure finances, credit cards, anything of value. I know it's hard and you and your parents feel you should help him, but sometimes you can't. Look after yourself, find some support. Call gamcare, talk to them too. I have spoken to all of these agencies and they've helped me enormously. I go to meetings every week, if nothing else it's real support from real people. There's also online gamanon meeting Sunday night 8-9. 

 
Posted : 26th April 2019 6:09 am
(@givemethebuzz)
Posts: 174
 

tell your parents to kick him out and let him fend for himself 

the worst thing you can do for a gambler is to keep replenishing the resources for him to gamble

 
Posted : 26th April 2019 8:35 am
Compulsive Gambler
(@compulsive-gambler)
Posts: 672
 

Hi Sarah,

 

Just to reiterate, any support must not be financial any more.

My gambling brain used to scheme constantly about where to get more money, much of this was based on creating stories to tell the family about why I needed money, it's a desperate situation but the reality is unless we want to stop or at least try, we wont.

I cannot imagine the pain of watching someone you love go through it and even less I cannot get my head around being able to say no to them, yet honestly it is the best thing that ever happened to me.

In a strange way I remember getting rejected for a new credit card and actually feeling a bit relieved as I knew I would spent it all on gambling

I'm sorry you and your parents are facing this

 

 

 

 
Posted : 26th April 2019 11:03 am

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