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Tilly
(@tilly)

Hi

My husband is a gambler and i feel so alone with this problem. It has been going on for a while and he is full of remorse when it happens, he promises the world and then lets me down again. I have zeeo trust in him now, i’m scared as we have a joint bank account. I have no one i can turn to, i have a brother who i’m very close to but feel ashamed to tell him whats going on. I do love my husband but i cant see how we can work when i dont trust him.

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Posted : 22nd March 2020 10:32 am
Jay1975
(@jay1975)

Hello Tilly and nice to see you seeking advice ... After reading your story i wish to say that from my point of view i would advise you take full control of money!  I am that person your husband is now, only i have lost everything to gambling my wife kids and home because i could not stop. I let my family down so so many times  to the point i had no choice to leave and separate. My last gamble was only days ago but i know just how strong we gamblers are at lying cheating false promises only to gamble again and again. To point it all ends in tears. 

Love and trust must be together in my eyes. one without the other i can not see how it can work? I hope your husband can stop and put all his time and effort into you and the family house work etc. The addiction is so powerful i cant explain. Take care Jay

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by Jay1975
ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd March 2020 2:34 pm
Jay1975
(@jay1975)

To understand gambling and addiction please watch this helpful small film free

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpSGJOrtoVg

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd March 2020 2:55 pm
Tilly
(@tilly)

Thank you for your reply.

I am sorry things have turned out like that for you. I do love him but do not trust him, i dont know if he would give me his debit card but i am taking steps to control everything else. I hope this may be the final wake up call he needs and he finally looks for help but i’m so exhausted by it all

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Posted : 22nd March 2020 3:51 pm
Jay1975
(@jay1975)

Yes even if he can not stop gambling ask if he`s going to alright with a little amount of money to enjoy with? Like a pocket money style thing while you take of control money matters until things become easier all way round the household. I have a friend who does this and works very well.

Help is out there now gambling is a well know illness. I am receiving help/ counseling and going through a course soon on the triggers why i gamble ? Im exhausted too now. So mentally draining Tilly is`nt  it awful!  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd March 2020 5:15 pm
Jay1975
(@jay1975)

If hes saying he has no gambling problem then you will have to wait until things get really rough to help him. As like me i had to reach for help because i can no longer continue blowing my weekly wage in machines etc and not paying the bills.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Jay1975
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Posted : 22nd March 2020 5:19 pm
Suewoo
(@suewoo)

I know how you feel, I'm going through the same with my husband. 

He's given me control of all finances... But who knows?! Lots of lies. I contacted Gam Care and they have put me in touch with a special professional counselling service in my area. I am expecting my first telephone session at 5pm today. I just feel the trust has completely gone. I did watch the video the other Poster has recommended but this is something my other half has had many opportunities to sort out in the past, he has been left with nothing, no family, lost us but after a little break I took him back, the promises to get this sorted out subsided and now I'm back here again... Left in turmoil while he acts like he's minimising the effect its had on me. He's supposed to be having the same counselling too but he's got no appointment planned as far as I'm aware as yet and say GA isn't for him. It's the trust that's gone and beginning to not like him as a person for what he's done. How are you feeling today? It hits you with waves day after day. You're not alone anyway. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th March 2020 4:34 pm
Jay1975
(@jay1975)

I am ok thanks for asking ... Ive had no gambling urges at the moment which is good news. 

How about yourself ? Things getting easier ... Are you managing to work through the problem ? 

 

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Posted : 27th March 2020 7:51 am
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