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So my partner has a gambling problem. We have been together 8 years, have a toddler and another on the way (due in 8 weeks).

my partner spent nearly £1000 in a month during lockdown last year and sought support through an online course. He hadn’t been gambling once this course was done. 

so he felt a bit down the past few months constantly working away and turned to gambling again. I recently found out and he’s agreed to get further support. Feel like it’s lockdown all over again being bored etc but I’m willing to support him through this again. 

I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is. I struggle to understand why he does it as all I see is what that money could have been spent on for our family. I struggle to be sympathetic towards it - I know it’s an addiction but I just don’t understand it. I’m so upset and angry that he would do this again but I have made that decision to stick by him this last time. I hope he does it and sticks to it. I suppose I’m just looking for a bit of support or reassurance really? I’m not sure just feel so alone I’m this. 

Posted : 13th September 2021 3:21 pm

Hi, no advice I’m afraid I just wanted to say your not on your own. I’m new here too. Just found this website today, but I’m not new to this situation. My husband sounds just like yours only we’ve been going through this for about four years and I’m not sure I can take much more. We’re currently not talking because he’s been at it again and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Whilst I’m devastated. Sorry I’ve no advice, just wanted to say your not alone x

Posted : 13th September 2021 10:53 pm

Hi... and welcome to the forum. I am a compulsive gambler. I don't fully understand why I do what I do either. But what I do know is that the compulsion can be very strong at times and once in action I seem to have no off switch. When am losing I want my money back, when am winning I want more, either way its a loss. Most compulsive gamblers can logically see what's going on but logic often gets hijacked by the emotional brain, cos the underneath everything there are other issues going on. Gambling becomes an escape from oneself. Am not making excuses just trying to explain a little bit.... In a sense its not that different from someone who smokes, knowing that's its killing them or sombody who eats all the pork pie's knowing its gonna make them fat. Addictive behaviour like a reaction to life. Of course the main trouble with gambling is that its money and without money ya can't function..... and with kids to feed it must be awful.

A couple of practical things....

1. You look after the money. Separate finances. Do what you have to do to protect yourself and your kids interests

2. Has your partner registered with Gamstop?? Blocking software on devices?? Self-exclusions from bookmakers??

All the best, going forward

Posted : 17th September 2021 10:25 am
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