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Nervous, Scared, Confused


Hello all,

My partner is a compulsive gambler and in past we have had many issues, he has stolen from me, he has also lied to me on numerous occasions and been found out. My mum passed away last year and time I needed someone I discovered my partner had gambled and he blamed me saying it was the stress of losing my mum put pressure on him. I know it sounds silly to stay with him, but he has such a kind soul despite this - when I look in his eyes i can see he has a massive heart and dont want to give up on him when know if it wasnt for the gambling he would be a genuinely lovely person.

After yet another slip recently he has admitted he need help and signed up to Gordon Moody, he is going from London to Manchester for this and told his not able to use his phone. I am so glad his doing this and getting the help but dont know what to expect. I know it sounds selfish on me but its longest weve been apart and to not communicate with him is going to be so hard - as love him to bits. Weve been together six years, no kids, not married. I am encouraging him though as know its 1000% the best thing for him and so glad his getting help and support.

Does anyone have any advice or been Gordon Moody/etc and know what to expect? I want to know he will be okay as his nervous. Just really kind of needed to talk to people in similar boat as so many people say oh just walk away but hard when you know someone is a good person just the gambling demon got hold of him.

Topic starter Posted : 3rd July 2022 7:31 pm

Well done to your partner for having the strength to actually go! My husband talked about going,he got all of the information but then never went. And now I am still left with trust issues as although he cant gamble due to me controlling finances he still has an arrogant way about him at times. I look back and think he could have to the Gordon Moody retreat and be a different peaceful person by now and have got a positive out of a bad situation but it wasn’t to be! 
I think you just need to think of longer term benefits for your partner going for this time now. Yes it will be difficult for you because you’ll miss him and you can’t communicate but you will gain so much in the future for yourselves as a couple and it’s special he thinks so much of your relationship and himself to want to do this.

Good Luck 

Posted : 3rd July 2022 9:59 pm

Hello Violetrose and Welcome

I do hope you are not a shrinking violet because you will have to protect yourself and have control over the finances.

I'm afraid it's not something you can just rely on Gordon moody for and you will need to develop a sixth sense on where he is and what allowance he has in his pocket

I'm not saying he is bad. He is an ill person trying to get better and you also need to learn about this as a drug addiction

With love and support you can let reality back into his life with reality checks and a new brand of tougher love

I'm not saying this to be unkind. I'm saying this because it's the devil of all addictions

Read literature and see the you tube videos on addiction. Learn grow strong and you can  be a great help to him but only from a position of strength and knowledge

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Posted : 5th July 2022 12:56 am
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