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My partner of 8 years can’t stop gambelling  

 
Bethlau2615
(@bethlau2615)

Hi everyone, my partner of 8 years who I have a nearly 2 year old has been gambelling for a long time it only came to light when we bought our house together 3.5 years ago, he told me he would stop then and I believed him as I didn’t think he had a problem, things were good for a while then I found out I was pregnant and found he still had a problem with gambelling we had a miscarriage and after lots of upset about the gambelling he promised me he would never do it again.... I believed him again. Fast forward and we now have a nearly 2 year old ... in the last 2 years we have had to take a loan out to pay off a credit card which he used to gamble and also I my family for help with money to pay off another credit card. I don’t know what to do now as I can only take to my mum who is still very judgemental of the Situation my partner is still gambelling every month it might not be a huge amount but it is putting so much stress on myself I worry about money and feel anxious, I don’t want to leave him I want to help him but I don’t know how! I have stopped acsess to money but he always finds a way to do it. We’ve had huge arguments and I feel like he is more angry and unapproachable, I’m at the end of my patience with him and I feel like I should leave and give him a wake up call? I just don’t know what to do any advice would be greatly appreciated 

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Posted : 2nd November 2020 11:12 am
BeckyL89
(@beckyl89)

Hey! i'm in a very similar situation. The gambling started (to my knowledge) to become a problem almost 3 years ago. We have a 5 year old and 3 year old.

the first time i caught him, and realised it was an issue was when our youngest was about 3 weeks old. like you, i believed it wouldn't happen again, bla bla bla. Then last October it all happens AGAIN, i let him off AGAIN and now we're here for the 3rd time!!! I love him! i've been with him 14 year, married for 7 but i need to think of myself and the girls too!! xxxxx

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Posted : 3rd November 2020 1:59 pm
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

Hi both, living with a compulsive gambler is very stressful alright. One thing you will discover is that you cannot control someone else's behavior only your own. So you cannot control if he will or will not gamble again but you can give an ultimatum. You should sit down and have an honest conversation about it, let them know that you have had enough. If he seeks help and accepts certain conditions then you are willing to help and support them as best you can but that there can be no compromise.

A gambler seeking help will realise they need all the support they can get, although they will be reluctant to give you access to everything its pretty much essential they do, if they have nothing to hide then it shouldn't be  a huge deal, if they sulk/argue or are just generally resistant then thats a sign they have something to hide.

Get them to register with GamStop (you register also), have money go to you, have access to emails, credit scores etc. Keep posting on here about the progress

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Posted : 5th November 2020 12:30 am
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