My son is gradually loosing everything bit by bit because of his gambling. He works in all weathers then pay day comes and gambles most of it.I wont help out anymore as its getting me nowhere.His phone is cut off lost his car, child maintenance built up debts its like hes lost it. He does have some mental health issues. Iv tried help nos ordered books for him on addictions printed stuff out and he denies having a problem.I cry so much and wonder what the future holds for him. He is intelligent I just don't understand.
I'm so sorry Nancy. It is so heart breaking watching your child systematically destroy their life. My son is also a compulsive gambler. He ended up with significant debts and becoming suicidal. Finally when he had nothing and nowhere to turn (friends and family were done with his sad story and pleas for money) he entered recovery.
You are doing well creating emotional and financial boundaries for yourself... good on you ?
Can you find a Gam Anon group to attend? It would give you some much needed support and people to offload with who truly understand all your concerns and worries.
Unfortunately nobody can fix our sons for us but we can reach out for support and learn about addiction to bring some sanity back into our own lives.
Cathy?
Hi Nancy,
Unfortunately recovery will not even begin until he admits he has a problem, for most addicts its not until we hit rock bottom that we have no option but to seek help. That was the case for me, I had literally no more access to money and destroyed my credit rating by building up large debt that I could not afford.
I was in complete denial, then when it got worse I was convinced I could get myself out of it and sort it all by myself. It was actually a huge relief when I did eventually seek help.
My advice would be to confront him about the problem, le him know that you believe he has a gambling problem. Let him know what help is out there for him. Under no circumstances give him money or pay his bills or debts. He is fully responsible for his own actions if you bail him out you offer a safety net.
I know its not easy but the bottom line is he has to want to change his behaviour. Your there for support when he is ready.
Thankyou so much for your kind words.Its nice to hear that he may one day realise and get help. Yes i have been intouch with Help through this site. Hope your son still doing well
Thankyou yes several times iv given him help nos brought books on addictions,downloaded stuff,always says not got a problem.Have argued shown him evidence paid his phone bill car insurance debts, all reluctently . 3 months ago stopped thats when things have got worse,it hurts but i know it is the right thing to do.I will continue with help lines and numbers.I know he is depressed,but has to do this on his own.Well done to you hope you still making progress as i know its a bad addiction.
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