If I stay am I just giving him the green light to carry on?

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(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

Just found out my husband has a gambling addiction, and has done for almost 10 years!

I had an idea he did have an issue last year and he’s said before about betting etc and we’ve even done casino trips together for the occasional night out with friends, but I thought nothing of it at the time.

Turns out it’s so bad he’s lied about how much money he actually earns to gamble the rest (this being hundreds of pounds) He’s left us with no money to pay bills or even buy food! Our 4 year old daughter had 1 fish finger and 2 waffles for dinner tonight as that’s all that’s left in the freezer and I’ve only had water and black tea for the last 2 days to save the bread for her toast.

I’m also breastfeeding a newborn baby that’s literally days old as we have no money for formula and nappies!

How can a man, a husband, a father do this to us...how can he leave us broke and starving, with another week until more money comes in??!!

While I was pregnant and really ill I worked loads of overtime to save extra money as I didn’t think we would have enough, I was going to work on crutches in agony but lying I was ok just so my overtime wasn’t taken away to pay for essentials I didn’t think we could afford, BUT it turns out we could afford it and more!!

How could he watch me almost miscarry, discuss abortion all due to money and his lies and gambling.

I don’t think I can forgive him despite him now getting help and apparently admitting everything to me!

 
Posted : 8th March 2019 7:39 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi RaeRae,

I am sorry you are in a very rough place at the moment and in a very difficult position.

Do you have a Salvation Army near by? I believe they can offer assistance in relation to food until payday.

Sadly being a person being a gambler myself we don’t think about consequences whilst gambling. It’s a moment of stupidity which comes with consequences.

A number of people have been in a similar situation to you on here so I can only hope they can help.

Sorry once again for the pain you are suffering.

CJ.

 
Posted : 8th March 2019 10:16 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)
Posts: 1494
 

Hi RaeRae I'm absolutely flabbergasted by reading your story. You can't survive on black tea and breastfeed. Do you have any family? You need to get help now. Get out of there if you can. Call gamcare, Samaritans? I don't know what you do when you don't have food. Do you have bank cards? You need to feed yourself and your child. Go to a friends. Unfortunately this is now up to you to get help because he doesn't care. Has he left?

 
Posted : 9th March 2019 8:21 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

I'm very sorry to hear this. Please, as others have suggested, go seek help. You and your children can't not eat!

As the ttile of this thread asks if you should leave. I'd say go. I'm in the process of leaving my CG too.

Please take care of you and your children.

 
Posted : 10th March 2019 7:01 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

hi there im so sorry to hear of your hard situation i can sympathise as i ahve a month month old baby with my partner and had to go back to my parents house for a week as there was no gas or electric in the house. 

also whilst pregnant i had hyperemesis (extreme sickness) and had to work as there was no food in the house there were a few weeks where the only things i had to eat for an entire week whilst pregnant was a sack of small potatoes and a loaf of bread. I didnt know that he wasted hundreds of pounds a week gambling... im trying to forgive him AGAIN and understand that its something he doesnt have control over but as you say how can you let someone you love and your babys go through that? its equal parts infuriating and heartbreaking.

SENDING YOU LOVE DURING THIS TIME 

please get help for you and your little ones. Dont let him be responsible for you starving 

 
Posted : 6th May 2019 9:44 pm

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