My partner stopped gambling in august 2020 he did it for almost a year his excuse was he was trying to win us some extra money as soon as I confronted him he stopped n hasn’t bet since he shows me his bank account all the time n has stopped on all the sites as well
the thing is I don’t feel the same about him I don’t like him touching me or coming near me ...how do I trust him again sometimes I wanna be with him n other times I just look at him in disgust ...I have never trusted anyone like I trusted him n how it’s all changed.
what do I do? How do I trust him again?
It's fine not to trust him with anything financial now or in the future. I have full access to and control of everything including opening post I don't like the look of. Savings and major purchases are all in my sole name. Mr L is welcome to look at the bank accounts any time he likes but he'll never have unscrutinised access to them again. He accepts my need for this level of reassurance as one of the consequences to the way he behaved.
Look after your own interests. If your partner won't accept financial scrutiny be wary.
Sorry to hear about this Diane. I do read quite a few posts on here and other gambling related forums about trust. How can you trust him again after the deceit, lies and betrayal? What’s a relationship without trust? My partner is a compulsive gambler in abstinence/recovery and my answer to that is I can never trust him again with money matters. Ever. For life. I will never take his word for it when it comes to anything related to finances and he knows this. But do i trust him with other things? 100%. I trust that he won’t cheat on me, he’ll take care of me and that we’ll work on reaching our dreams and ambitions in life together. And i can live with this. It’s almost a year since ‘the confession’ and I feel more connected to him now more than ever. For my own mental health, i check his credit report everyday and i receive mobile notifications for all his bank transactions. Our savings are on my name. This is working for us so far.
There’s nothing wrong with not feeling the same way again. You can’t force yourself if you don’t feel the same, be kind to yourself. Love yourself. If you think it will not work out, talk to him about it. You deserve to be happy.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much for ur feed back I trusted him in every way b4 but now I question everything I even think he would cheat on me but on the other hand he is so against it like me I just don’t no what to do I’m so confused I can’t make my mind up about our relationship can it get better? I don’t no I wanted us to get married but now I’ve told him I don’t wanna marry him (he has never asked me ) but I want to be married so hard