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Here we are again...  

 
Mom2boys
(@mom2boys)

I wrote on here a few months ago so wont go into detail again about our background. But here we are again. About 6 months after the last tine, my husband has gambled again. 

This time he has gone on my phone, used my banking app and transferred most of my wages to his account. Then gone and spent it gambling to have lost it all. He said he did it yesterday. I only realised this afternoon.

Ive told him its over. Its one to many times now. Hes still living with us but i cant trust him. All that money was for bills and to pay off more of our holiday. 

Why does he always gamble wheb things are going good? Ive been working so hard, got a promotion in work, we booked a family holiday, bought a zoo pass for us all, things were just going good.

Im not really asking for any advice i just need someone to tell as i have no one to talk to. 

Hes done the usual getting upset etc but i know he'll never go to a meeting or get help. This is the 4th time now. How many times is too many times?

Absolutely heartbroken...

Quote
Posted : 15th March 2020 5:54 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Very sorry to hear your story. This is an unacceptable situation and you should do everything in your power to protect yourself as you will slide down the drain with him if it continues. I can relate to your story but I can not see how your husband has not seen some reality from the madness and I can only assume that he is very mentally unwell for doing this so many times. He needs to ask for help before any change can take place and until that happens I would look after myself first and that means you do what it takes to see that you are safe and can handle life.

I wish you the very best.

C

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th March 2020 6:23 pm
Nancy B
(@nancy-b)

Hi, I do feel for you having a family etc its heartbreaking, My son has gambled for years we have begged him to get help,he works hard for nothing, has nothing we've bailed him out but no more. Everytime I see him I no longer shout and plead just continue to give help nos  for helphe ignores, after mounting debts etc, he still thinks he can control the gambling. It does not help if you have some mental health issues, makes the gambling worse.I do not know what to say only try to look after yourself and family unless he gets help, Gam care are very good at listening give them a ring, hope things improve.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th March 2020 6:37 pm
Lethe
(@lethe)

Sorry to see this. Life with an active gambler is hell.

Have you now secured your account and any others he can access? You are right in saying you can't trust him. Please protect yourself.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th March 2020 9:00 pm
Mom2boys
(@mom2boys)

Thank you everyone for your replies. Ive now been taking my phone everywhere with me so he cant get on it. Not that theres any more money to take. I found him crying earlier on and i said to him that i feel awful for splitting up and not helping him. But everytime he does it his dad bails us out financially. I always take him back so there arent ever any consequences. Not this time. Part of me wants to tell him to stay somewhere else for a while. He can see the kids whenever but he has to move out. Maybe then reality will hit home? Im struggling because when we married i took our vows very seriously. For better or worse. But i cant take anymore. Ive been nothing but a good wife and mum and i dont deserve this. I need to walk away because this time im numb to it. Im not sad, angry etc just feel stupid for giving him another chance. I love him so much but he needs help. I dont think he sees that at the minute and until he does there is no more us 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Mom2boys
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Posted : 16th March 2020 12:50 am
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