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Adora
(@adora)

First time posting on here..just need so reassurance. Found out a couple of weeks ago my husband has a gambling addiction. He attempted to get me to re mortgage our house which I refused. We have three children.. youngest being only 6 months. He would not tell me to start with how he got into debt..but has finally admitted it. I feel this problem has been going on far longer than he has admitted to. Anyway we have separated. I can’t stay with him, he has said he will get help.. he wants to move back in and just pay the debt off. Says he is having phone counselling, isn’t going to any meetings. But I just don’t believe him.. do people get over this addiction. I feel strong enough to leave,  but I feel so sad for my children but I’m hoping they will thank me one day... god this is hard.. 

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by Adora
Quote
Posted : 24th November 2019 6:27 pm
Spendlikewater84
(@spendlikewater84)

Hi

Sorry your having a crappy time.  I do feel for you but if you love your husband you won't walk away. Your kids won't thank you, they need both parents.  Yes he has an addiction but get him help.  You'll need help to get through it too. It's not going to be easy and no people don't just "get over it" I wish it was that easy.  I'm 70 days gf and if my husband left me I'd be on self destruct.  Gambling changes all thought processes.  Sit down and have a chat with your husband. 

Sorry if my post sounds harsh, but love will win over anything life throws at you both 

Xx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th November 2019 9:57 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Adora, 

Welcome to our forum.  I am so sorry to read about what's happened.  If you haven't done so already, please feel free to contact us on our free HelpLine if you wish to talk things through 0808 8020 133.  You can also contact us via our Live Chat.  We offer a confidential space for you to talk through what's happened and get emotional support and practical advice.  You can also get support from gamanon.org.uk. 

Kind regards

Forum Admin 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th November 2019 11:51 am
Walliss77
(@walliss77)

Hi Adora,

Welcome to the forum and I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this traumatic time.

I was a addict for 23yrs and caused massive destruction for myself and everyone around me. I have been clean now for many years and now work in the treatment of others. 

Addiction is an emotional driven illness in which a person has to engage in an obsessive/compulsive activity in order to not feel or feel a state of euphoria. Addiction destruction is progressive over time because the brain is constantly trying to keep our brain chemicals at the levels they need to be and because addiction causes massive spikes in endorphins addicts need higher highs with more risk to get the same buzz.

The stats estimate than only 3% of addicts searching for a solution will get long-term physical and emotional sobriety. These stats are not to say that your husband has no chance as it will be determined by how much he's willing to open up and work on his feelings/emotions and character. 

I believe you have to do what's right for yourself and your kids because you are certainly not bound to stay and support him if you and your kids are suffering financial and emotional harm as a result of his actions. 

Please use all the support available to you and I wish you the very best. 

 

Kind regards

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th November 2019 1:47 pm
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