Hi bit of a background my ex partner who I have a 5 month old son with is an on off gambling addict, he’s left me 3 times now.. each time when I’ve caught him gambling again. Each time he’s harshly told me he doesn’t love me and just left until he’s been ready to stop. When he leaves he shows no emotion and I genuinely believe he doesn’t love me or have a single care for me: we are currently on month 3 of him behaving this way and it’s been very hard. Last time when he was ready to change he came back after a month and within weeks was back to being the loving boyfriend I always had.. almost as if it had never happened. I’m not sure he will come back this time or even what id do if he did but I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this or any CG’s that have done this to someone they love and why? It could be that he just genuinely feels this way but I know he’s actively gambling again and it’s only ever happened when he has been. Thanks
Hi. I lost my marriage because of my gambling problems. It completely controls your emotions and the way you interact with loved ones. You become empty and unable to show emotion. It drains the life out of you. The shame and frustration resulted in me just wanting to be alone. At least when your alone you don’t have to show emotion or interest in anyone or anything (other than gambling).
I wasn’t ready to deal with my problems and I didn’t even put up a fight when my wife called it a day. I was unable to show that I cared. But I loved that women and cared so much about her. You won’t be able to show that unless you speak your problems out honestly (with nothing left hidden) and make positive steps to tackle it.
But addicts can’t expect loved ones to put aside their needs. It’s another unfortunate side effect of this. Your partner needs help, and needs to get to the stage where he admits it. Then hopefully the person you know flourishes again. But if he’s unwilling to be honest, you have to look out for yourself too.