My friend just got paid and spent 800 in an evening and lost it all. He's got a huge debt over 12g (losses from gambling) and actively trying to gamble it back
I said you've got a gambling addiction it's a disease contact this number etc but he just gets all arsy and ignores me.
He's having a hard time in his private life. Won't seem to accept he's got a problem or do anything about it.
As a friend what should I do? So I be all softly softly? Do I be direct ?
Hi rowofcardigans he's lucky to have a friend like you. I can't tell you what to do, I don't know you or your friend. I do know that this gets worse. A compulsive gambler cannot stop, even a win is never enough. It's a mental health issue. It starts as fun and becomes addictive, the place to go to feel better or numb. The money becomes irrelevant. Offer to go with him to a meeting? It's very difficult to stop someone when they are in the grip of addiction. Is he gambling online? He can sign up to gamstop. Download blocking software like Gamban. As you say he's got problems in his private life too. It's all a vicious circle. He's got problems, he gambles, he's got financial problems, he gambles, he gets depressed, etc. Keep communication open, offer emotional support. Don't give him money. Things will only improve if he stops. Would he go to his gp? Stepchange help with debt advice. I can only speak from my experience and GA is what helps my husband. Ask questions on here and people will try and offer advice.
totally agree - no money (or saleable goods)
How about leaving some literature about gambling addictions somewhere visible (maybe even just a few pages from here printed out) and a note to say that you are happy to listen if they ever want to talk, one of the biggest barriers I convinced I had to face was not being able to talk, my recovery is now going OK, still early days in my mind but actually just over two years now and I am certain a big part of that is knowing that I can talk to those around me If I need/ want to
Whether they choose to take that offer or not is a different matter
You sound like an awesome friend, I feel a little jealous! 🙂
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