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Rachel 2015

Not happy, fiancé gambled again last night, we knew it was a trigger point as he was working away and driving home late, unfortunately  we didn’t beat it. He managed to about break even so no financial loss, but emotional loss harder to deal with again. He didn’t managed to get home either as the machine wouldn’t pay out so he got stuck there till the morning till they restocked it. 

Thankfully, He knows he has a major problem and we have agreed now he can no longer have his cash cards and must only have enough cash On a daily basis to buy  lunch and a drink if needed. I will have all cards, we will put fuel in the car before he goes any where this should be enough to get there and back. If not he will take just enough cash to put extra fuel in. He can’t always stop the urge but we can try to limit the damage. If he chooses to gamble rather than eat, he can’t loose any more than  £20 At the most and will be hungry  

I’m glad he is honest with me, together we are determined to beat this nasty illness.

Posted : 30th October 2019 4:47 pm
Boo radley

Sorry to hear this but it sounds positive so stay strong 

Posted : 30th October 2019 5:16 pm
Rachel 2015

Thanks, think the first step is to accept you have an issue. As the supportive partner this does make all the difference.  

Posted : 31st October 2019 11:31 am

20 pounds for lunch? Expensive 3 pound meal deal?

Posted : 31st October 2019 5:22 pm

Unaccounted for cash is a risk. Mr L managed to keep the fire burning with a tenner a week and ended up doubling the already eye watering debt.

If he has cash see receipts to the penny. If he can't or won't provide them be wary.

Posted : 31st October 2019 8:39 pm

100% agree with Lethe above.

When gambling heavily £5, £10, £20 would be enough to keep playing the slots. To stay in the game. To continue to feed the addiction.

In essence it is only a token gesture and is not addressing the addiction.

I had no cash or cards for 9 months and provided receipts to the penny.


Posted : 31st October 2019 9:45 pm
Rachel 2015

Thanks for the advice. Need to be aware of all loop holes he can find. 

Posted : 31st October 2019 9:58 pm

Keep going, keep supporting and if he really wants to stop and be with you he will get there in the end.

Wish I had the support from my wife!

Posted : 1st November 2019 12:39 pm
Rachel 2015

Hi losingnomore

Its not always easy. We’ve not always had the easiest of times, but we support each other. 
One thing that has helped me is talking about what he is feeling before he gambles, to help me understand, I always insists he talks to me about it, and don’t allow him to give me excuses.  We try to pre plan, as you have seen we don’t always manage it. Plus I know he can only effect his own finances as we keep things separate for this reason. Take care 

Posted : 1st November 2019 5:23 pm
Changing habit

I think you are very  brave and supportive. As a recovering person I feel you could do what my partner has done and taken another bank card with no over drafter or anything else. Just basic card and then you just transfer £10:00 Into that account as and when required. Ask partner to use the card and you keep track by bank statement. No cash to be taken just transactions from places he has eaten from. I was very deceiving from my partner which I am not proud of at all. I  know how the gambling mind works. Sorry. I have been very s**t in the past. Hope you both get through this. 

Posted : 1st November 2019 9:16 pm

Agree with all the above...he will still be gambling all the time he has cash.

get the card and remove the cash.  As gamblers we will sacrifice needs to get a fix and it snowballs.  You may think this will be the maximum but it won’t.  

Posted : 2nd November 2019 12:47 am
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