Thanks again for all your support and kind words. Today has not been quite as bad as yesterday (fathers day probably did not help) I have tried To keep busy and do good things for my future self.
Thanks Jade i am actully already doing the CBD course just finished week 3. It was hard to hear my wife's answers even though I did know deep down that's how she felt. she did not find it helpfull. In that moment and in fact it upset her quite a lot i hope thay the future moduels can be as useful and healing as you say.
Anyway thanks again everyone for your support, you really helped me get through a horrible day yesterday I hope I don't have to many more like that one.