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Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 08:27

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Ha ha! I always think they must be cold! Brightest sunny morning here, I think snow is coming! Take care, keep warm!

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 13:04

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen sorry to hear you've had tother troubles. Nearly at 20 days brilliant !! Take it easy and hope you enjoy a peaceful weekend Sx

 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 13:16

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Stephen, thanks for your kind words about me, really touched my heart and I will hold onto them tight and never forget my values. 

Good luck with the dentist, I really need to go I've hardly any teeth left! haha

Wilsy

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 07:46

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Merry Go Round, Sandra, Sharon and Wilsy.

I have just been thinking about responsibily and standing up for our values. 

What is right and what is wrong are not always strikingly obvious. On this day in 1909 the Suffragettes attempted to break into the Houses of Parliament. To some they were heroines and others viewed them with disdain but they were doing what they believed was right and just.

I believe we must shoulder responsibility for our own actions. We are constantly faced with the moral dilemma of choosing the right path and standing up for ourselves.

I am a compulsive gambler and whatever I might say to the contrary I do get enormous pleasure from going on the fobt machines with a fist full of money. It always ends in sadness though and involves me being without money, miserable and tormented, until the next time.

I know I am a compulsive gambler but I also know right from wrong. Am I prepared to wear my heart on my sleeve. To have the courage of my convictions. Or will I just crawl on my belly to the bookmakers. It's my choice, a choice I must  make every day.

Wishing everyone peace and contentment and a gamble free weekend.

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 08:36

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Stephen a few things struck a chord with me what you’ve just said, accepting responsibility especially I believe I’ve come this far this time because I had a good talking to myself to say that at end of the day I was ‘choosing’ to gamble, yes the addiction is very very strong but it was still my choice. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own or without blocks so chose to put that in place hence have stopped. I accepted the responsibility of my actions for once. It really is wrong of me to waste so much money for example when my husband is going out working hard to earn the money for us for a decent future. I also used to gamble again thinking that one big win I could help my husband out instead of just taking all the while. There are so so many hurdles to overcome cg but that’s when the blocks come in so we don’t get bombarded mentally and emotionally with all the ‘reasons’ to gamble. Your post is so good and has made me really think! Thanks Stephen. Also you said how you loved the FOBTs me too with online slots I admit I loved it but then the consequences had to be dealt with and the ****** feelings. Wishing you a peaceful gamble free weekend too! X

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 10:31

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Hi Stephen - well done on chalking up those days. Great stuff! You made me laugh about the dentists attire! I totally agree - doesn't give you a good feeling when big holes in the knees!! Glad  they took the correct tooth out! Have a beautiful sunny weekend x

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 20:14

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, thanks for your post, message for you on my diary.
Hope your toothache has sorted itself and you're having a fab Saturday evening x

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 20:17

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello Stephen,

My mum just had to have one of her wisdom teeth out today. She was having pain from it though, so was worth it. Hope yours isn't too painful!

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 22:39

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for the posts on my diary.

Lulubobs...Great to see your good progress with 11 days gamble free and a great attitude.

Annie... Hope your finding time for some running this weekend. A healthy body and a healthy mind can make us feel happy inside. 

Sandra...Glad you have come to terms with your gambling episode. I have had a few setbacks and know it takes a while to get our thoughts and emotions sorted out.

I like your thread on the forum regarding economies that can be made in cooking etc. I have posted my two-penneth worth on that thread.

Good to see you back on track and tip-toeing around the diaries with support, advice and some good humour.

Little Miss Wild Child...You had me laughing earlier with your posts on the diaries. Saturday is party night so I imagine your out and about with your friends having fun. Enjoy your weekend and be proud of your progress. I believe it's well over 4 months since you last gambled and you have  brightened up the diaries with your honesty and humour.

SJWSJW.. Hope your enjoying your 2 weeks off. A good opportunity to relax and reflect on your excellent progress. You have come a long way and are both focussed and determined. Take care my friend and keep blazing that trail. 

Hello Diary...Saturday so I should be out and about but quite happy lounging on my sofa. Mouth is still a bit tender after the tooth extraction but it's healing nicely.

Think I need to chat more with my angels. They probably thinking I only call on them when I want something. I know when the angels are prompting me, it's a nice feeling and it just feels right. I also know when the addiction is prompting me and thats the complete opposite, it's conniving and greedy.

We all have our own views on spiritual matters. Trust and belief in a higher power brings some people a lot of comfort.

Love and best wishes to all on the diaries x x x 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 00:55

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Thanks for kind comments Stephen. Yes I was partying tonight but it was with my 18 month old grandson who I was babysitting for. We played a wild tune or two on his xylophone, bopped to his favourite kids tunes baby shark and we are a pirate then had a bottle before collapsing into bed. That was milk of course! Little miss (not so) wild child strikes again!! Haha! I had a lovely evening though.
Glad you're doing well. I love the idea of angels and have called upon them a few times myself.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 10:50

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Morning Stephen brills to see your 20th day! It feels Jan/Feb have been dragging but Spring is nearly here with fresh beginnings and determination. Happy Sunday Sx

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 11:02

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Morning Stephen .... Well done on 20 days gf a good foundation on which to build on , good to see you back on track with your recovery and nice to read your uplifting posts .... the road to recovery is by no means an easy one but its good that we can find help, advice and encouragment on these daries ... wishing you well my friend.

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 23:43

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks Stephen, gambling is a sneaky ***** as we have both found out, keep on the right path, we can do this.

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 23:57

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello Stephen,

Was listening to some music and this song/cover came up and made me think of you. I remember you used to post songs a lot. Old meets new, be happy =)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erWPPc7tlQs

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 01:17

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for the support, advice and words of encouragement from Little Miss Found Herself, Sharon, Chartom, Smashed & SjwSjw. I have posted on your diaries.

Wishing all on the forum contentment and happy days over the coming week.

Good to follow George Ezra's advice in the song recommended by Smashed.

"Don't worry - Be happy."

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 12:53

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

WAKEY WAKEY TO ALL WHO GET PAID ON WEDNESDAY

The gambling demons are now sat around with their feet up and probably enjoying a few beers.

Come wednesday they will be running riot. With evil eyes and sadistic delight they will be dragging helpless addicts onto gambling sites and into the bookies. 

ARE WE READY FOR THEM ????

Have we got our strategies worked out ?

Have we got our blocks in place ?

Have we taken measures to keep our finances safe and secure ?

 LETS ALL GO TO BED ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT WITH EVERYTHING INTACT....GAMBLE FREE  AND PROUD.

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 21:11

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Sounds like a good plan Stephen. Bring on pay day!! 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 21:15

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Brilliant post Stephen I’ll be there gf! Get lost gambling demons! X

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 21:06

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Just dropping by to say thanks for posting and I hope Tuesday has been kind. Stay warm. 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 00:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Sandra, Annie and Lulubobs. Your support means a great deal to me.

Saw the Pulmonary Nurse on Monday regarding my breathing difficulties. She is referring me for physio classes plus talks, will have to live with it as best I can. I went for a swim in the evening and got talking to a friend who is also a nurse and it turned out she was best friends with the nurse I had seen in the afternoon. Small world isn't it. 

Salsa class was cancelled tonight so I went swimming again and sat in the steam room for a while. They are the times when my breathing is at it's best so will try and go every day if I can. It's also nice and warm after being out in the cold.

The nurse recommended I do Yoga so I have booked in a class at the gym on friday and I can have a swim and a steam afterwards.

Monthly works pension in the bank tomorrow (wednesday) and weekly state pension on thursday so will need to be sensible and strong. Following my 6 months gamble free I heve relapsed a few times over the last few months. I really need to show more courage and restraint so the diaries don't just become a place to confess my sins.

Such lovely people on the diaries. It breaks my heart to read of the hardships our friends have to endure. Only a fellow compulsive gambler can understand why we return to gambling when we know full well where it is going to lead. It's as if our mind becomes fixated on gambling and any sense of reason simply go's out of the window.. At times like this the only thing we can think of is gambling. We either have to be highly motivated or have blocks in place and no access to money. Memories of past losses are simply swept under the table.

Take care my gamcare friends. Wishing you all a good wednesday...stephen 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 08:39

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Diary. Chilly outside but i am inside, feasting on my porridge and feeling ok.

Payday today so obviously I will be a trifle wary and on my guard. 

I have a sign on my front door. " No junk mail & no gambling demons." Ha ha only joking I don't mind the junk mail.

 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 08:55

Rst.Ex-CG

Joined:
2013-11-22

Hi Stephen, congratulations on 3 weeks. Thank you for your message on my diary. We are about the same number of days so will keep checking in on you.
I now see pay day as a happy day and put as much as I can away into my Australia savings account or my English account (where all my debts come out of) which I have to pay a transaction fee but it means I won't want to pay more to transer it back again.

Keep it up. I need to read your diary from the start to understand a bit more about you, will do that later today.

Dan.

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 20:20

RSmith39

Joined:
2017-12-24

Hi Stephen.  Hope the porridge kept you warm.  Really enjoyed the snow myself - went for a long walk for no reason, just to get out in the fresh air without any traffic etc.  Looks like the new name is going to be a winner!  Not posting much, but check out diaries every day, and always enjoy reading your entries, and delighted to see you back clocking up the days.  Cheers.  Rich

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 23:44

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for the posts on my diary Dan & Rich.

Massive let down today. My monthly works pension ended up in a fobt machine.

A friend rang to see how my chest was and I told her about my gambling loss. She has loaned me money to cover my bills and she is going to hold my bank card in the future. Every Sunday I will get money off it to last me the week.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 00:19

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Maybe time to step up to the plate & stop expecting others to bail you out. When will you accept your plan for stopping doesnt work? Post a tune, tell everyone how wonderful they are, start a new diary with a new name.
The reality is Stephen your plan at stopping clearly sucks.
Face reality.

What youre doing doesnt work.

So change it.

For gods sake man do you want your gravestone to read he let us down, he was a gambler

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 00:31

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you [email protected] for your constructive criticism. 

A trusted friend is now holding on to my bank card. I see nothing else on the horixon which might help in my recovery.

It took numerous attempts to stop alcohol at age 40 and cigarettes at age 50 but I did it and I will one day beat the gambling addiction as well.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 01:08

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

THIS THREAD IS CLOSED

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