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#1 Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 17:47

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Today will be my first payday in 4 years that I will not gambled a single penny. #determined

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 23:43

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi SF

Long may it continue, keep that determination going. Wake up every day and give real focus on not gambling for that one day.   Payday for me today too.  I've had a great day I hope you have too.

46 and out

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 21:20

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi 46 and out,
Thanks for the msg. I didn't gamble Yay!. I had an amazing day and am still going strong. I feel like I can do it this time.

All the best

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 22:26

Muststop123

Joined:
2017-10-03

Hi Slot Fool

Well done and keep it up. One day at a time, you can't go any faster.

Muststop123

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 22:41

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks Muststop123

Posted on:
Wed, 18/10/2017 - 22:44

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

So...it happened!! I failed, I gambled :( I felt so bad doing it that I actually got up and left with money in my hand having gambled and lost £20. I never want to sit in front of a machine and feed it my money ever again.
It feels horrible being back at day zero.

Posted on:
Thu, 19/10/2017 - 07:52

Muststop123

Joined:
2017-10-03

Right, positive is you managed to stop and walk away before you lost all your cash. Not sure I could do that if I started again. Danger is you might not be as self controlled next time.

Can you put any blocks in place to prevent you from getting caught out by the urge to gamble, just something to make it really difficult and inconvience and perhaps give you time to rethink the idea? 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 19/10/2017 - 18:37

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi Muststop123
Thanks for the msg, I am still upset about gambling again. I know why I did it and I shouldn't of. I only gamble in one place and I need to make sure I never go there again. If I go to work without my car I cannot get there. So for now I will walk to work.

My 1st target is to get to 30 days, 27 was a good attempt but not good enough

I will never gamble again, I am so lucky I managed to stop. I would normally of lost hundreds. I'll never risk it again.
It felt horrible. I didn't enjoy it. I'm done with it now.

Posted on:
Fri, 20/10/2017 - 07:58

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Day 2
Woke up feeling better today. Not beating myself up anymore over what I did. I'm going to focus on making sure I don't do it again.

Today I will not gamble

Have a good day everyone

Posted on:
Fri, 20/10/2017 - 21:22

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Had a good day today. Just been for a nice long walk for 1hr, head is feeling much clearer now. I will beat this.

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 05:16

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

I've noticed I get anxious now I've stopped gambling, not sure if this is normal and don't quite no what to do about it? Maybe I need to start looking at the reasons why I gambled in the first place?

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 07:14

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Perhaps contact Gamcare and ask for free 1 2 1 counselling sessions. When i had mine it took me places in my mind i didnt want to go but really looked into my reasons why.

Take every opportunity available. Self exclusion, GA, Counselling, restriction of finances. Whatever it takes.

Best wishes

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 16:32

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Today has been so hard. I gambled last night. I got half way through today and thought right I've had enough.
I did something I have all ways said I'd never do...i told my husband.
He is fuming!! He doesn't understand why I did it. He didn't have a clue I was a gambler.
He knew I went to bingo but assumed I just played bingo and had a go on the slots every now and then. I cannot believe I found the strength to tell him.
I gave him all my cards and money. He then took me to the club to self exclude.
I cannot discribe the relief I feel. A weight has genuinely been lifted. I'm not sure about the effect this has had on us yet, he is still in shock I think. But as bad, ashamed and regretful I feel about the money I spent, doesn't come close to how the fact that I have finally admitted I need help males me feel. I have hope. I can beat this. I'll be debt free in 6/7 months and I really hope my marriage will survive.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 17:02

DaveyJ

Joined:
2016-04-17

Hi Slot Fool. I how you feel i too relapsed this month with the straw the broke the camels back being last night. You did the right thing telling your husband. If nothing else hopefully the shame/fear of having to tell him of another relapse will stop you before you do it again. I can't give you any advice really as im struggling badly myself just now just know your not alone.

Take Care...

Davey

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 18:03

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks for your message Davey, sorry to hear that your not doing so well. I hope you get back on top of things soon. Here's to another gamble free day tomorrow.
All the best.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 21:49

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks S, that really made me smile. Needed that hug :)
I will prove I'm serious and I will never do it again. I wish I admitted it sooner. X

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 21:52

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Bal I made the call! Spoke to a lovely guy and he gave me some advice on counselling. I might try online

Posted on:
Tue, 14/11/2017 - 08:00

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Payday tomorrow and I'm not dreading it. Eager to make some payments to clear some of my debt. Also heading to the bank tomorrow to close some accounts, set up direct debits and turn on paper bank statements again.
Have a good day all

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 07:56

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

That's a week done! It has totally flown by. Have not been this happy in a long time. Feels great. Have a good day everyone.

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 11:10

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Well done SF the first couple of weeks is very hard,keep plugging away and the 30 days won't be long coming in.

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 21:40

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks Stevo

Good to see your still going strong, all the best. Have a good weekend

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 14:12

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hello Double figures

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 07:43

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

14 days GF today. Struggled to get off to sleep last night. Feeling guilty about what I have done. I have paid I big chunk of debt off this month and still haven't spent a penny of my wages strangely I feel like I can't spend money.

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 20:08

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

3 weeks gamble free today! Feeling okay, it's odd because I haven't had an urge at all but I do feel really bad about what I did and feel guilty. Need to forgive myself I know but it was so stupid....never thought I'd find myself in this situation
Looking forward to hitting 30 days soon

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 00:11

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Well done on three weeks gambling free Slot Fool :) I was a slot fool as well until recently but they are a dead end!!!
You have made the right choice, now you are starting your new life, keep going x

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 20:37

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks 4D, 4 weeks now Yay!
I got this :)

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 21:41

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

1st month in the bag :)

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 22:09

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Well done! So good to see you understand how important it is to take this addiction seriously. Glad you managed to tell your husband, i hope you find it a little easier to talk about now.

Keep going, it's working but its not over. All the best :)

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 18:26

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks sjwsjw :)
Telling him was the best thing I did. He was harsh for the 1st few days but has been there for me ever since.
Pay day in a few days and all I can think about is paying some more off my debt, I'm looking forward to getting that number down a bit more.
Thanks very much for commenting and I'm still taking it one day at a time but feeling much more positive. I log in at least once a day and read people's posts. This forum is helping me no end.
Wishing you all the best in your journey:)

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 18:56

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Sjwsjw a few words you have written have really made me think and also made me emotional ....actually I do find it easier to talk about things....we talk so much more about the reasons behind my gambling and the reason why it escalated out of control.
I've had such a bad childhood and very little love in my life shown by my family but I have never let it effect my life except that it made me long for a family of my own. My husband and I were expecting our 1st child and it meant so so much to me but unfortunately it was Ectopic and I needed to have surgery 4 months ago. Things got pretty bad for me gambling wise and I racked up nearly 6k in debt.
I'm not using what I went through as an excuse for my actions by no means but when you're feeling low you don't necessarily think straight. Money had lost its meaning and value to me, I'd lost the one thing I'd dreamt of, a few more hundred quid was nothing. Before you know if you've spent thousands. As I think back over the last 4 months yes I regret what I did but I'm so proud of myself for pulling my life back on track and asking for help and admitting what I had done.i could have gone on and on doing the damage.

It's a long road ahead but I've come so far already.

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 19:11

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Slot Fool

Congratulations on your first month gamble free.  Keep up the great work.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 19:13

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks 46 and out :)
126 days is awesome. Well done, keep going

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 20:12

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Im glad you feel like you can talk about things. It's a big part of recovery and moving forwards without the gambling.

More often than not there are reasons (not excuses) for our gambling habbits. With the right support we can work though it.

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 19:58

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

44 days gf now. Had a busy couple of weeks and haven't been on forum much. No urges no issues, feeling good :)
Merry Christmas

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 21:36

gamblerjames

Joined:
2013-05-15

Congratulations, 44 days is brilliant but also no surprise when you see how much effort you've put in to tackling the problem, You shoud be proud of yourself! Have an amazing Christmas!

James

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 08:20

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi James, thanks for the message. Wishing you a Happy Christmas and New Year. :)

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 08:34

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

So it is Christmas Eve. I have no Christmas jobs to do today. All presents and cards are delivered. Food shop is done and another massive chunk paid off my debt. I've gone from nearly 6k to just over 4k in 44 days.
Plan for today is to hit the gym and do the odd bit of cleaning, might even make a nice dinner for the husband before watching movies all evening.
It may sound like I'm taking this all in my stride and finding it all easy but recovery is hard work and you really do need to put blocks in place and work at it. I have a plan and a budget that I stick to. I have the support of my husband and hobbirs to focus on. I workout and study which keep my mind occupied.
This time of year can be really difficult for gamblers and I hope we find the strength to stay strong and stay on the path to recovery.
I want to walk in to 2018 with my head held high ready to tackle whatever life throws at me knowing that my gambling addiction is under control
Merry Christmas and Happy New year to you all. Take care and go steady. One day at a time xx

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 23:14

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi

It's a great feeling when payday comes around and you make a dent in debts as opposed to getting deeper into debt. It sounds like you will have a lovely stress free Xmas. Congratulations on focusing on so many positives and taking up new hobbies to keep yourself occupied. Have a wonderful Xmas and very best wishes for a gamble free 2018.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Tue, 26/12/2017 - 06:43

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thank you very much :)
Wishing you all the best for 2018 xx

Posted on:
Fri, 29/12/2017 - 16:16

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Bullseye!!

Posted on:
Fri, 29/12/2017 - 23:57

Chris30z

Joined:
2017-10-15

 

Hey there Slot Fool,

You are doing brilliant! Really pleased for you, so brave to tell your husband and it’s great that doing that has worked out so well too. Getting 6k down to 4K in 4 days is brill too, that must feel great. Keep up the good work, we believe in you. Happy new year :). Chris

Posted on:
Sat, 30/12/2017 - 13:52

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi Chris, thanks very much for your message. Happy New Year to you too. We are all in this together and I hope 2018 is a great year for us all. X

Posted on:
Sat, 30/12/2017 - 17:02

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Slot Fool,

I loved your 'Bullseye' comment from yesterday, congratulations on achieving a fantastic milestone. 

You are right we are all in this together, let's stick together and remain gamble free.

Very Best Wishes to you for 2018.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Thu, 04/01/2018 - 20:33

gamblerjames

Joined:
2013-05-15

Hi Slot fool,

Thanks for the post on my diary and congratulations on over 50 days gamble free. That is amazing. Looks like the debts are getting pounded as well which must make you feel loads better. Hope you had a nice Christmas and New Year of which will be gamble free :-)

Regards

James

Posted on:
Thu, 04/01/2018 - 20:35

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Glad you are doing well, the days are racking up now =)

Posted on:
Sat, 06/01/2018 - 09:15

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thank you for your comments :)
46 and out, gamblerJames and sjwsjw much appreciated.
I have been unwell over Christmas and New Year but only a cold luckily, managed to dodge the flu.
Just over 8 weeks gamble free now, will hit 2 months in a couple of days. 1 more week before pay day and I can clear another chunk of debt off. Cannot wait till it's cleared. I think that will be the true test for me, when I have cleared the damage I caused and have money available. I feel like I'll be ok as I can never imagine going back to gambling ever again. I have read a few posts this week from people who have relapsed heavily so I'll need to continue to be on my guard and let my husband have access to my bank statements. The plan is to plough all the money I currently use to pay off the debt, in to a savings account. It will be great to see my debt hit 0.00 and my savings start to rise.

Have a good weekend all Stay GF!

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 08:01

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

3 score days gamble free! Woohoo

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 10:28

Self Sufficient...

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Slotfool on 60 days gamble free.  I am really impressed with your courage, honesty and determination.

Hope your over your cold and feeling good. Take care...stephen 

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 11:06

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Nice one slot fool good to see your doing well and racking those gf days up keep it going.

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 17:40

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Thanks guys!
Feeling much better today, touch wood.
Will be 2 months GF on Wednesday. Very happy with that.

Posted on:
Tue, 16/01/2018 - 20:58

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

68 days GF today another pay day and more paid off the debt. Feels good to see it go down again :)

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