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slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi All,

Play off final at Wembley coming up this weekend. Im thinking how things would have been 9 months ago. My long suffering wife would support her team til the bitter end having been a season ticket holder for around 30 years. She has seen it all, promotion, relegation joy & heartbreak but steadfastly supported them no matter what.

Shes off to Wembley again this weekend 2 nights in a Covent Garden hotel, railfare & ticket for the game. Previously i would be thinking wow home alone, laptop, Credit/debit card at the ready a gamblers dream. Over 200 markets, corners, correct score, half time/full time, yellow cards/ redcards its endless what you can gamble on.

Im excited right now thinking about it. Why ? you may well ask. Well gambling aint got nothing to do with it. The thing is shes taking me with her and i cant wait. I can walk down Wembey Way with her, hold hands,look forward to the game ( which i suspect will end in tears ) and be able to say im here for the entertainment, not for the betting opportunity. Im here because i want to share her joy if we win. Im here because its about her and not me and my addiction. Simple pleasures.

Win or lose ill go home feeling great she still has forgiveness in her heart, and never again do i want to break it with the lies, and deceit that go hand in hand with an out of control gambling addiction.Starting the weekend with a clear conscience knowing i havent gambled for 284 days and got nothing to hide will be something i havent experienced in a long long time.

Stay Strong

AL

 

This topic was modified 5 years ago 5 times by slowlearner
 
Posted : 20th May 2019 10:26 pm
Rams
 Rams
(@rams)
Posts: 27
 

Hi Al, 

Thats great to hear. I’ll be there in my black & white!!

I would never have been able to afford a match ticket, train ticket and spending money the way I was gambling, it’s all been paid for and I feel proud. I wouldn't be thinking about the match I’d be thinking about how much money can I put on the match, leaving me just enough to get by. The first goal scorer with a lump on my team was the norm.

Not any more, it’s now 107 gamble free days. I have the fire, determination and support from my partner & friends to beat this and just for today I won’t gamble.

All the best 

 
Posted : 21st May 2019 6:15 am
Sarahs16
(@sarahs16)
Posts: 217
 

How lovely al, 

have a fabulous time! How times have changed. We are both incredibly lucky to have partners like we do. 

Sarah xx

 
Posted : 21st May 2019 6:36 am
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi Rams & Sarah,

Thanks for posts & your support it means so much. Youre right Sarah we are so lucky to have the partners we both have. Rams 107 days is fantastic so keep at it 1 day at a time youve made incredible progress, you should be extremely proud. Im happier now without gambling than ive been for years.

God Bless Both & Stay Strong

AL

This post was modified 5 years ago by slowlearner
 
Posted : 21st May 2019 7:08 am
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 

I still reckon they need a " Like button " on here ? 

Great post Al , enjoy your day buddy you deserve it :)) 

Wishing you well :))

 
Posted : 21st May 2019 9:02 am
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi A9,

Thanks for your post it means a lot. Ive read several of your posts since i came to this place and theyve given me hope, support & encouragement. Its the support from you & other genuine people like yourself help me stay clean 1 day at a time. If we win maybe i can buy you a pint 1 day, if we lose youre more than welcome to share a box of Kleenex tissues with me.

Sincere Best Wishes

AL

 

 
Posted : 21st May 2019 11:40 am
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 

Thank you AL for your kind word's also and likewise it mean's a lot .

I'll pass on the tissues if it's ok mate as since I've been here I've cried bucketloads over the years but whatever the weekend's outcome  please have an extra cold one for me and I'll raise a glass to you and your's over the weekend . :)) 

As always a pleasure AL 

Take care :))

 

 

 
Posted : 21st May 2019 2:26 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi Al

As history will tell us we lost at Wembley (again ) but that aside i enjoyed most of the weekend. Nice hotel, trains running on time and hotel was fantastic. Spending Saturday night in Trafalgar Square with so many fans so full of hopes and dreams was an experience i will never forget.

Sunday we set off for Wembley no problems at all. Got there 2 hours before cick off and just relaxed, enjoyed the atmosphere ( apart from foul language in front of so many kiddies accompanied by their parents ) and eventually entered the wonderful stadium & headed for level 5 where we were going to be seated.

As we reached level 5 my wife said she needed the ladies room before we found our seats. I stopped & said meet me here when you come out. o*g i looked up & in front of me was the bright lights of bookmakers straight in front of me.  Flashing signs saying Charlton to win, Sunderland to win, Charlton to win in extra time etc, etc, etc.

Debit card was in my pocket ( we needed a debit card each to get through contactless payment on tube stations ) & the queues for the ladies were a mile long. There was i thinking of myself as Ray Winston ( Watching, Analysing gambling responsibly IF ONLY haha) but the honest truth is i really fancied a bet in the hype & excitement of it all.

All testament to the fact CGs never get cured but find strength both within & with one another simply to control a raging cancer that can destroy not only us but the people we love. I learn something new every day on here but the most important lesson of all ive learnt is guarding against complacency( thanks Al K2 & Signalman ).

Can anyone tell me despite 291 days GF is the addiction just a lame excuse, am i just a worthless weak man & will i ever be able to enjoy a sporting event without these vile inclinations. I truly want to be a better person but on Sunday i felt like a heroine addict left alone 3 feet away from a drug dealer. This post nothing to do with the downside of being on the losing side of a footy match, just about being a loser for so many years.

Advice Welcome

Stay Strong

AL

 

 
Posted : 27th May 2019 10:38 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi Al

As history will tell us we lost at Wembley (again ) but that aside i enjoyed most of the weekend. Nice hotel, trains running on time and hotel was fantastic. Spending Saturday night in Trafalgar Square with so many fans so full of hopes and dreams was an experience i will never forget.

Sunday we set off for Wembley no problems at all. Got there 2 hours before cick off and just relaxed, enjoyed the atmosphere ( apart from foul language in front of so many kiddies accompanied by their parents ) and eventually entered the wonderful stadium & headed for level 5 where we were going to be seated.

As we reached level 5 my wife said she needed the ladies room before we found our seats. I stopped & said meet me here when you come out. o*g i looked up & in front of me was the bright lights of bookmakers straight in front of me.  Flashing signs saying Charlton to win, Sunderland to win, Charlton to win in extra time etc, etc, etc.

Debit card was in my pocket ( we needed a debit card each to get through contactless payment on tube stations ) & the queues for the ladies were a mile long. There was i thinking of myself as Ray Winston ( Watching, Analysing gambling responsibly IF ONLY haha) but the honest truth is i really fancied a bet in the hype & excitement of it all.

All testament to the fact CGs never get cured but find strength both within & with one another simply to control a raging cancer that can destroy not only us but the people we love. I learn something new every day on here but the most important lesson of all ive learnt is guarding against complacency( thanks Al K2 & Signalman ).

Can anyone tell me despite 291 days GF is the addiction just a lame excuse, am i just a worthless weak man & will i ever be able to enjoy a sporting event without these vile inclinations. I truly want to be a better person but on Sunday i felt like a heroine addict left alone 3 feet away from a drug dealer. This post nothing to do with the downside of being on the losing side of a footy match, just about being a loser for so many years.

Advice Welcome

Stay Strong

AL

 

 
Posted : 27th May 2019 10:39 pm
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posts: 498
 

Hi Al,

Sorry to see that Derby lost. I'm not quite as fundamentalist as ALN, as I still have a season ticket for my club.

I went for years with my now departed Dad and still go with my son.I'd be loathe to give it up while he still wants to go as (sadly) its one of the few things we do together just the 2 of us.

Football betting was never really my poison anyway. Don't have Sky or BT so not much sport to watch anyway.

For me it was more important to stop getting a daily newspaper as the racing pages would be my first port of call, years past when everything was online. I wake up to R4 today programme but make a point of avoiding the time when they do the daily racing tips.

You do realise how utterly ubiquitous gambling advertising / news is once you stop. Not sure what the answer is really.

 
Posted : 28th May 2019 8:01 am
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 

 First and foremost Commiserations Al :((

I don't believe your worthless or week but addiction that's been alongside you for so long's not going to give up and leave you in peace even after 291 day's now is it ? . 

Personally I was always of the belief that I couldn't just shut my eyes to the shop's , sites and adverts that were everywhere and it was more about me facing them and dealing with these thoughts as and when they happened. 

It took me a good year before those things didn't bother me so much and in that first 12 months or so I really avoided watching sport on tv . 

The strange thing is that after that period when I did see or deliberately watch an event it didn't really do it for me anymore , so obviously for me  it was all about the thrill of the bet rather than the spectacle of it all as I always believed for many years ? . 

Were all so different in how or what works but I think you have to keep pushing forward until those thoughts ease, which I believe they do . 

Gambling's our world for so long bud and some change comes more slowly than others but it does come :)) 

 
Posted : 28th May 2019 8:33 am
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi All,

Thank you all for taking the trouble to post it means so much. To be honest i wasnt thinking its the end of the world if we lost i was just thrilled to be spending quality time wife my long suffering Mrs that gave me the sense of occasion rather than the match.

Leading up to the game i didnt think much about gambling if at all, yet when i saw those bright lights & flashing odds i cant begin to explain the feeling that came over me. The queues for the toilets were a mile long & the time i stood waiting for her to return felt like hours rather than minutes.

On the bright side im still gamble free but the occasion has become a stark reminder about complacency , and has given me a better understanding of the JUST FOR TODAY philosophy. I hope you lot aint going anywhere as im obviously gonna need your continuing support & advice for quite some time.

Thanks All & Stay Strong

AL

 
Posted : 28th May 2019 11:31 am
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posts: 498
 
Posted by: alwalm

I hope you lot aint going anywhere as im obviously gonna need your continuing support & advice for quite some time.

Thanks All & Stay Strong

AL

The feeling from here is certainly mutual.

The day we stop thinking about our addiction & start thinking we don't need others advice and support is likely the start of a slippery descent back gambling.

How long are we quitting for ?  Forever.

How long might we need advice & support ? 

Also Forever - and no shame in that.

 
Posted : 28th May 2019 2:49 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 858
Topic starter
 

Hi Ken,

Glad you said that because for the foreseeable future i still cant imagine i can do this on my own. There are good days & bad days but boy when the bad days come i need the people on here as much as i did on day 1. I try & use the good days to encourage others to keep fighting and share their burden as others took the trouble to share mine.  Advice, unconditional support, yet never judgemental. Thank god i found this place. Getting over the self hatred period ( so tired of beating myself up) & putting much more emphasis on what i can change rather than trying to re-write history.

Stay Strong

Al

 
Posted : 28th May 2019 10:11 pm

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