Hi guys, I've had to log in under this account as I can't remember the password for my original account (Sam Crow).
I was at a fundraiser for my football team at the weekend and like many of these events there was gambling involved i.e. prizes, raffles etc, it was a casino night. Initially I had decided not to go just like I have on many occasions the past 3.5 years (this is how long I'm off a bet). I changed my mind and decided to go after some long thinking on the subject and partially the reason was that the charity they were fundraising for is very close to my heart. I even think they may have used this charity due to a recent bereavement in my family but I'm not 100% sure.
As you can imagine there were casino style games there and everyone was allocated a certain amount of chips on entry as part of the ticket price. Now usually I would have just forgone the chips and that was it. This time I chose to take them and said to a couple of friends that were there (they know the story) that I was going to play a few games but I wasn't taking any prizes, entering any raffles.
The night was a successful fundraiser for the club and everyone enjoyed themselves. I didn’t feel the need afterwards or since to place a bet of any kind. I’m worried about how it will be perceived though, I don’t feel like I gambled at all as I didn’t wager anything of monetary value and at no stage was I going to be up or down money. I do realise that it wasn’t the smartest thing to do on my part and not something I plan on repeating anytime soon (or ever for that matter). One of my friends who wasn’t there tried to wind me up after seeing a photo on Facebook (I’m not on it myself) that I was gambling. Thankfully the other lads backed me up and told him I wasn’t. This is what got me thinking.
I am attending my weekly GA meeting tonight and will be making the lads and ladies aware. I am a bit worried some might say ‘oh that was gambling’ etc. etc. I will be making it clear I don’t think I did but at the same time wouldn’t be advising others to put themselves in the same position.
On a sort of side note I’m part of a squash league with my friends which is quite competitive in nature. There is a small trophy for the winner of the league, should I not be in it because there is a prize at the end?
I realise these are two very different examples, just trying to figure out where the lines are.
Who are you answerable to mate? Ask them for the overarching verdict on what you're asking about... 🤔
You have all the answers you'll ever need to your questions Sam, sometimes a friend can offer a signpost - but if what you're searching for is someone on here to offer some sort of reprieve to make yourself feel better, then probably that indicates that you know in your heart that you left your comfort zone and pushed your boundaries that little bit too far.
Someone in GA once told me... If it feels wrong, it probably is.
This is the last place you want to be searching for wisdom my friend... We are all bonkers right? 😂
Ps I don't think the trophy will fit in the FOBT slot so i think you'll be ok with that one 👍😉
Hi Signalman, thanks for the reply.
You're right, I think I was pushing the boundaries too far on this one. I suppose I'm on answerable to God and myself really, nobody else can say if it's right or wrong.
Like I said I won't be repeating it anytime soon and thankfully I haven't suddenly lost the plot and went back to the chaos. I know the pain and suffering that it causes all too well.
Thanks again mate
Like I said I won't be repeating it anytime soon and thankfully I haven't suddenly lost the plot and went back to the chaos.
Well you know where to find this place whenever you need it - always someone about to offer a brain to bounce off...
You are the master of your own destiny, and your own downfall for that matter.
Which path you choose is up to you, the recovery path is just that, just a pathway... Straying from the path works for some, it makes them stronger and generates more self belief, for others it is perilous.
Only you know where you are with things and how ready you are for such ventures.
Stay strong bud ✊
Oh I think the difference bohdi is that when your secret is in the open and you are being monitored its a different scenario.
I was killing myself gambling. I had suicidal thoughts. when I told people and got some help it was a huge relief and a born again moment
A crucial point is that I was never gambling for anything that made a difference to my mind or my status but the money I was losing chasing those relatively small amounts was destroying me Anything that did come out was going back in twice over so obviously I was never satisfied.
Even more worrying is that I never had a plan for money and I was going without nice items I could have bought or saved for
Its a crazy and dangerous illness because money meant nothing and everything at the same time...I needed serious help. I had an ill relationship with life and therefore money
Im not saying on a recovery site that it looks particularly good but you can overthink things as we heal. Its taken me years to come to terms with the fact that I would chuck a pound away on those machines never mind thousands.
Oh and one more interesting point that came out of counselling is that I didnt understand the odds and I didnt really understand the concept of real gambling...almost like I was playing at it but still getting fixes if you get what i mean The money that may have made a difference to my life would have taken the impossibly long odds (lottery) that never happens to most people or extremely high risk with a high stake on something very unlikely to happen. Having said that the odds on the slots are designed to take my money fast
I wanted a taste of that feeling on the crystal meth of gambling called the slots
Just to inspire you in your recovery. I have money now and can borrow money on a cash secured loan to gradually try and feel better about my past
There is hope and a better life for all of us
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Surely it is no different than someone who quit drinking having non-alcoholic beer or wine?
I have had many arguments as to whether they were a good idea or a bad idea...
I signed up to not drink alcohol, not something that looks and tastes like alcohol. It works for me, but some people would bleat on that people could be triggered by it and move on to the real stuff...
I think you have not gambled. Just played at gambling...
It depends on you. How you feel and how it makes you feel after...
Don't be told what is or isn't...
Thanks guys/ladies for taking the time to reply. After speaking to a couple lads from my local GA meeting the consensus seems to be that whilst it wasn't gambling it also wasn't the best idea in the world.
It's a learning curve that's for sure. I'm glad I logged on here and asked the question too, I've gained some valuable advice and insight as a result.
Yes but keep your pride up Bohdi and take some pride. No gambler in or out of a social environment can be laughing at you.
The fools and the addicts are the ones standing in the bookies and casinos now. They do not understand the forces they are dealing with.
In very simplistic terms its a mugs game so nobody can be laughing at you.
The winners in life walk past the bookies. I never saw anybody in the gambling dens that I would term a winner including myself. I saw addiction, desperation and shallow deluded fools.
I have a real pride. I have money and I can use that money to securely borrow money. My life is sweet, the money is rolling in and work is going very well....no gambler is looking down at or laughing at me...believe me!
Best wishes to everyone on the forum
Here’s my two cents.
I think you’re over-thinking and therefore over-reacting. It’s a charity fundraiser, ok it may be linked to gambling but it’s much more of a fundraiser than having a gamble.
i actually think you need to change your viewpoint on this and be proud, you went to an event which had a very minor link to gambling. You went, took part, were in control, finished and didn’t feel to need to properly gamble. I think it is testament to how far you’ve come actually.
Surely the ultimate outcome for any of us is to be able to go to an event like this and come away like anyone else I.e. had fun, raised money and no urges.
I say well done.