One of my problems is that I have very little patience. That is why I have always preferred slots because its fast and repetitive. Waiting for horses or dogs to be loaded up and to run a race is just too slow and frustratingly boring in my head space. I want the action "now" not in 8 minutes time. The trouble is the more I gamble the faster my thoughts run and the more manic I become.
Sometimes a similar thing happens at work, especially when I feel stressed. I can become deeply frustrated with colleagues because they simply aren't working as fast as I am. I want to get going and get things done "now", not in 8 minutes time.
Am the same with recovery. I want recovery now not "one day at a time" over the course of a life time 🙂
I think what am trying to say is that i have real trouble trying to slow down my thought processes. Sometimes am absolutely buzzing in my head space and i can't see the wood for the trees.
Does anybody else feel this way?
A bit like instant gratification? You want to get to the reward ASAP and not wait for them right?
Yes that's it in a nutshell
It maybe that am a bit bi-polar. gamble when mood is high or gamble when mood is low to lift the mood. It makes me think of Stephen Fry and his documentaries about depression and mania, his own struggles and all the different diagnosies he had depending on which professional treated him. Personally I think all addicts have an underlying depression and low self-esteem, even the ones with Ego's the size of Jupiter. Underneath it all there is an unhappiness with self.
Yes, just like that, Vendi.
I can fully relate, that's why I have never been into sports betting or the like.
Even playing poker took too long for my liking... with the added factor of having other people around (I never gambled online, these days, on a computer screen or smartphone, it would probably be different).
I needed an instant fix, quick succession to keep an empty headspace, to prevent me from thinking; waiting stressed me out, people stressed me out. Being noticed made me feel guilty and shameful. Up, down, up, down.... that's what kept my mind occupied.
The results didn't even matter. It was my way to switch off from the world outside... the longer, the better.
When I stopped gambling I was frustrated. The world owed me a bit of peace after all this s**t, didn't it? Afterall... I did all I could...
Yet it still was a struggle... and it kept being like this for quite some time.
Hard times. But the only way to get better is to keep on going for the light at the end of the tunnel.
That's the hard part, but well worth it.
Hi
My impatient and intolerance indicate that I am hard on myself.
My impatient and intolerance was due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
By my having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I was hurting myself, people were not hurting me.
I am a non religious person and by understanding the serenity prayer I am not able to change other people, I am able to change my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.
To not cause myself pain any more by my own frustrations.
My driving indicated that I was a risk taker, I was the person who raced around, I was the person who tail gated people, trying to bully and manipulate other people.
These unhealthy habits indicated that I did not respect myself and that I did not respect myself.
Today I keep to speed limits, today I give way to other people, less petrol used, less brake wear, less stress and anxiety.
I get the other end more rested and more at peace with myself.
I was the person who use to arrive just on time or late at meetings.
The I saw that I was stressing myself out.
So I made the decision to arrive half an hour early.
I was more relaxed and talked with people who were also more relaxed.
The funny this is that over time I went to meetings willingly and was able to take in more.
My therapies moved from talking about money or action to talking about emotional resolve today.
Is it healthy for me to cause myself pains and fears.
Is it healthy for me to have my family feel my fears.
How patient and tolerant I am with myself and other people is a measure of my recovery.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham.
I’m the opposite betting wise/gambling, I like dogs and horses more than video games etc.
however it all leads to misery, I can relate to wanting things now, I keep championing patience to get through this as you will need bucket loads of it.
S.A.
I can relate to what you say because I am very patient and have had this character defect since childhood.
My thing is roulette which provides the quickest win and for me the biggest buzz. Only, the quick win didn’t do it for me. What I needed was the long chase. Being down big, chasing for over an hour only to win it all back and some on the outcome of consecutive big hits. Bizarrely, that takes patience.
According to Wikipedia
Willpower - Is the ability to resist short term temptations in order to meet long term goals.
The above is my problem not just with gambling but all things and this should not be confused with impatience.
Tackling the above is the answer to all my problems.
RR
Yes I know people who prefer the long chase, its as if your in action for the whole day because your waiting for the outcome of a whole number of races to see the result of your bet. But like Holycrosser says we all ultimately end up at the same place... misery and despair!... it just takes a little longer for some of us.
S.A.
Ive just noticed my typo error above.
” I can relate to what you say because I am very patient”
I am such an idiot sometimes. That was meant to read IMPATIENT. I am very, very impatient and have been all my life.
Crikey that must have been confusing to read for everyone. Sorry for the confusion.
S.A.
Ive just noticed my typo error above.
” I can relate to what you say because I am very patient”
I am such an idiot sometimes. That was meant to read IMPATIENT. I am very, very impatient and have been all my life.
Crikey that must have been confusing to read for everyone. Sorry for the confusion.
I thought that.lol
Coming to terms now that I have to be patient, my new diary tells you 3 years , no dramas for me now to hide behind, I must be patient and I’m actually quite good at that, I must be one of a few on here.
i can see the light at the end of this tunnel now, I need to stay employed (I have been all my life) and this will keep me on track, keep me away from gambling.The debt concentrates my mind , keeps me focused, you really will need patience to help you with this, we all do.
Hi
I understood that my impatience and intolerance was due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
My frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, sadly I was hurting myself time and time again.
How could it be that I was causing myself pain and hurting myself and did not know it.
Sadly another clue that I had not matured in a healthy way was due to the fact I use to sulk and make other people life hell because things did not go my way.
The clues about the gap in my physical age and my emotional age indicated to me that trauma adversely affected my ability to learn understand and retain learning skills.
I left school with no qualifications what so ever.
After over thirty seven jobs I had gained many experiences and also gone to college and learned skills I never thought were possible.
With each job I found out the jobs I did not want to do.
I have in my time turned down several promotions.
The reason I felt that I needed to give up my jobs was due to the fact I felt I was being controlled and regulated.
Today I do not fear having emotional intimacy with people.
Today I do not fear being myself.
Today I do not fear extending myself more and more.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham.
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