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Gamstop great first step, but leads down a slippery road of dodgy websites  

 
LoveBug23
(@lovebug23)

So I signed up to gamstop a few years ago and I must say it was effective for some time. Thing is it doesn't particularly cure the urge to do so.

Here on in lies the problem. You go looking for sites that are not run by gamstop which leads you to ones that are not in this country. This is what I have done periodically over the last year till I bust some money and ask to be self excluded. Problem is there are so many and its finally came back to bite me I feel. Went in to my bank the other day to find it cleared by £50 deposits to foxybingo a gambling site I have been self excluded from for many years. Ill admit I cried....seems I have been a victim of fraud and I dont doubt its been a result of using these unlicensed out of country sites. I'm also far too embarrassed to get in touch with my bank and feel I'm completely to blame for getting in to this mess. As they will be well aware I spend some money each month on gambling sites and have spent way more over many years.

My only hope is that this is the wake up call I need to stop this madness. I've had to declare my card lost.....Will this be enough to stop my money being stolen ever again? 

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by LoveBug23
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Posted : 13th October 2020 10:14 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hey lovebug, this is a very harsh reality of gambling. Does your bank block gambling transactions? A lot do now if yours doesn't a lot of people on here use a monzo card that doesn't allow gambling transactions. For me the easiest and best way was to hand full financial control to my husband he gives me what money I need I am unable to use any cards etc. Have you got anyone who can help you with finances? The problem is is that these things gamstop etc are really good tools to help you ,as you rightly say doesn't stop the urges. I understand completely how you feel but you need to do something else to help you. I go to GA meetings ( via zoom at present) it makes a huge difference having advice and support from other compulsive gamblers that you can  say anything to and get advice in a non judgemental atmosphere . You can talk about urges etc and often that's enough to make you think clearer, I'm 4 months gamble free now, GA and this forum are now and will be in the future the constants in my life I'm happier calmer more stable and you can be too. Put the effort in you will get the reward of being in recovery scary things like you're going through now will get less as you won't be putting yourself at risk. I wish you all the best 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th October 2020 11:04 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@lovebug23 Are you more embarrassed about being a problem gambler or having money taken from your account? I must admit I had no shame when I was gambling and if it meant getting money back into my account I would be onto the banks immediately. Each to their own though, I suppose.

As far as Gamstop not taking away the urges, it's one blocking tool amongst many others. Have you tried Gamblers Anonymous or Gamcare advisers or therapy through one of their partner centres? what about putting a gambling block on your card?

Have you done anything other than Gamstop to help yourself? Are there any pointers that I can offer?

Chris.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th October 2020 11:09 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello and welcome.

There is no shame in admitting to this problem so you have to try and let those feelings go.

You need to stop gambling and search for that born again moment when you actually feel a surge of pride reaching out and being open and honest.

Gamstop is just one tool in your toolbox, Its not the most important tool to get this job done. A gambling addiction is a drug addiction and it can easily override gamstop if you dont have other monitoring measures in place.

PLEASE do not rely on gamstop alone...you need to be on a sandwich allowance and monitored by people you trust...do you understand? Its not about being treated like a baby...its about saving your life!...Clear?

Your bank will be well aware you gamble and you need to change your bank account number and email. In a spirit of honesty you may have to tell your bank you have a gambling problem but thats your decision

You should tell people close to you as you need help.

You can report fraud to your bank and you need to get over the embarrassment you are feeling about this confused mess.

We have all been there so we understand. Your addicted mind is confused and in pain. That lifts when you enter a full recovery. This addiction has been destroying you so there comes a point where telling people is nothing compared with the misery continued gambling had in store for you.

This NEEDS to be the wake up call for you so please tell us what you are going to start doing to ensure a gamble free recovery.

Secrets are no good for you....your friends and family can help and you will feel better talking about it. Your bank can help and you dont have to fear them.

I know you fear the shame and embarrassment like we all did...However you rise above that by realising that people want to help you get well and remain gamble free

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th October 2020 11:09 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

Wow, all three of us wrote on your post and we all seemed to say the same thing.

Maybe that says something?

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th October 2020 11:10 am
LoveBug23
(@lovebug23)
 

 Yes I'm embarrassed and feel shame and thats only natural. I do feel to blame for what has come of this and hell yes I'm anxious at the thought of my money being taken any time its in the bank. All in all it was £100 so I can be most thankful that I hadn't just been paid at the very least. Someone's got my card details and managed to deposit on a gambling website that I no longer have access too. Which foxybingo admitted upon me querying them about these deposits. The irony of it all!!! 

This is a warning to others that these websites should be an absolute no go area.

My family and those closest to me are aware I'm a problem gambler or much so that I have been. Relapsing is a whole other ball game when it was hard enough the first time round. I take all your advice on board and I'm sure I will get there as I did the first time. Thank you.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by LoveBug23
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Posted : 13th October 2020 11:47 am
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