Can a non religious person heal from the pains of their past and be healthy once more.

My name is Dave of Beckenham. I am a compulsive Gambler!

Since being in my spiritual recovery (I am non religious), I have seen people being in action gambling, in seeing those people spaced out and traumatized having lost all awareness of time values or the ability to show caring for anyone including them self, I saw myself and felt myself as I use to be.

The people in addiction just like being rats in the wheels going faster and getting nowhere, the faster the pace the less aware I was of people around me and my most important values.

In seeing and feeling those unhealthy people going down in decline adversely affecting them self and every one around them I saw myself.

That I was me giving up all faith and hope in myself while being consumed in such an unhealthy painful habit.

In time I moved from reluctance and procrastination and learned to turn up at meetings early, so that once meeting started I was at my most relaxed state of thinking and feeling I could be that day.

I helped people set up meetings, I set out tables, I made tea and coffee, got chairs out, set table out and I reached a point where enjoyed doing it.

Today I am in my recovery, I am equal to all people, no matter how far I am in my recovery or at what level I am at I am equal to all.

What adversely affects me and other people which are very unhealthy habits I needed to acknowledge so that I could change my unhealthy reactions.

For me my unhealthy reactions were my anger, my impatience and intolerance, my jealousy, my envy, my hatred, my resentments, my greed, my wanting to take the easy options, my wanting some thing for nothing, my procrastination, my control issues (fear based), my fears, my panicking, my selfishness and my being mean, my sarcasm, my being critical, my being depressed, my lack of gratitude, my dishonesty, my being insincere.

Was it it possible to be healthy once more, could my hurt inner child live with out fears once more, could my values become whole once more.

In the recovery program there is only one way, up, that only once I took my recovery seriously and invested lots of time and effort in to my recovery would I change, the fact my whole life would change to be healthy.

The addictions and obsessions were just a from of escape, only once I would acknowledge identify my fears do some thing healthy about them.

Since being in our home in Calgary over 15 years I have repaired air heating system 3 times. I have repaired Vacflow system twice. I have put up acrylic insulation sheets as double glazing. I have made my wife a large king size bed without plans or direction.

Now each one of these tasks would not have been possible or done by me if I was still stunted with fear and low self esteem, if I was being consumed with my addictions none of these things would have been possible.

As people give therapies with some deep seated emotional tears and pains coming out, often people will talk more in to those nerve wrecking times in their life.

I understand for me that our physical and emotional state of mind are very much linked in so many ways.

How long should it take for a man to learn step one completely.

For me today it is important to get clarity and focused yet not beobsessed, to have focus on my needs wants and my goals.

The spiritual recovery program helps you cope with life people and situations when things are getting to us.

I find that very open relaxed meetings help me with opening up with my therapies.

When I walked in to the spiritual recovery program I felt I had no choices, I felt that gambling controlled my life, I felt that helpless that I use to think that success was down to money luck or someone else.

With each lie comes a fear, pains not healed or resolved in my child hood left me with fears did not understand.

I even use to justify being unhealthy and having an adverse effect on other people, very unhealthy habits came very early in my life.

I use to say to myself I wanted justice, that was not true I wanted vengeance, not the same thing at all.

When I was filled with vengeance and hatred I was mostly hurting myself yet could not see myself stopping out of reacting in such unhealthy ways.

Moving away from trying to get perfection to slow baby step progress was enabling me to grow in a healthy way.

I use to think that just for today I will not gamble was limiting me, just for today I will not gamble means if I do not gamble there is no limitations of how much more I can achieve with my life today.

I use to think that I could not achieve very much with my life, now I am able to do things that at one time I thought were impossible for me.

If I am an equal to all people any thing they can achieve I can achieve if I set my mind to it.

To over come procrastination I needed to write down my needs, to write down my wants, and to write down my goals.

By writing down things I am being committed to myself, I am being accountable to myself, each item I cross out as being done improves confidence in myself, improves self esteem in myself, I even come to believe in myself.

The point I use to say to myself who cares any way was the exact moment I was giving up all faith and hope in myself.

Am I able to value myself today, am I able to love myself today, am I able to respect myself today, am I able to be patient and tolerant with myself today,am I able to heal that hurt inner child in me today.

I am very much orientated towards healthy people today, am I able today to be dedicated towards healthy spiritual values today, non religious of course.

I have the healthy choice today to interact with people and the world today, rather than react in such unhealthy ways that was such an unhealthy way of life for me at one time.

Dave of Beckenham

AKA Dave L