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Back in the saddle before more damage

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#1 Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 00:25

Bryan

Joined:
2017-12-24

Good evening . For anyone that remembers me hello . Managed a whole year without gambling and started again in January . I’m a few thousand down after clearing most of my debts , remortgaging and taking out some equity to improve our house . The money for that is safe it’s in a duel sign account . My problem is I now have around 8k worth of new debt from the last 2 months . At this rate I could be 48k in the hole at the end of the year so it’s time to get my mojo back . Can’t discuss with the wife as it’s a non discussion and last time was my last chance . I’m leaning on you all to assist . I have Gamstop but there are some dodgy sites I can play and I have a friend who isn’t aware of my problem totally who I transfer money to and I play online in his account . When I win I give him 10% of the profits and when I lose it’s my loss . I know I can stop I can’t keep on doing this . 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 07:21

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi Bryan I'm sure my husband thought the same as you, let's not tell. If you think she'll leave why do it? Because you're an addict. You can't do this secretly. I would suggest GA but of course there's always an excuse for that too. How nice of you to use your friend. My husband did that too, using someone else's account at work. Ultimatums don't work, you doing this alone won't work. You need help, please get some. There are consequences to your behaviour, you're just not willing to face them. Don't control your wife, let her get help too.

Posted on:
Fri, 15/03/2019 - 18:37

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

At risk of banging a broken drum honesty with those around is the foundation for recovery. You've tried your way repeatedly and found it doesn't work. If you really want to break the cycle it's time to get out of the comfort zone and make change happen.

Posted on:
Sat, 16/03/2019 - 00:49

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

What’s the point of a new diary?  You’ve had all the advice there is to give on your other one...Maybe have a read back!  

If you’re here because you want to stop losing, there’s nothing I can suggest, if you’re here to stop gambling then stop making excuses & put proper barriers in place!  It’s one thing to be worried about losing your wife, albeit I absolutely agree she should know, but what possible reason can you have for not being totally honest with your friend?  What kind of friend are they anyway, allowing you to use their account for 10% of anything you “win”?!?  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist for them to have figured out you have a problem...Not only are they enabling you but they are basically charging you commission on top! You have proven that you can abstain from gambling...Whether you recover or not is dependent on you, putting the work in - ODAAT 

Posted on:
Sun, 17/03/2019 - 17:01

greenflash

Joined:
2017-12-31

Hi Brian, I have not been on this site for a while now, very sad to read you are gambling again, especially as how committed to beating this problem you were last last year and the sound advice you gave to others. Where did it all go wrong, what has changed? 

I can only agree with the other posters, I am shocked that you have gone to such lengths to feed your gambling problem by secretly placing money in your friends account, you know that is deceitful, sly and dishonest. Typical gamblers behaviour by being secretive.

You are obviously in charge of all the financial matters in your home so you will always have access to gambling funds. I cannot advise you on GA as I have never done it, but I have stuck to all the other advice I have been given, which  actually includes you,  ODAAT, lethe and MGR.

Clearly your way has failed and you need to get back to basics, maybe read the advice page by 'MIXER'. Surely a good start for you is to relinquish your access to funds, but this would require you telling your wife the truth and getting those crucial blocks in place, obtaining credit reports etc, but you know all this anyway. You are losing £1k a week, how long can that go on for before you are found out anyway.

All the best