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S.A

Member since:
Before 2009

S.A's profile

Date Post
05-06-2018 An update. Thank you for your thoughts folks and Jon my sister has also offered to help in whatever …
22-05-2018 Hi... thanks for comments. No change here. A week since pay day. Am completely skint. Tired of being…
27-04-2018 Thanks Duncs and your right... addiction wants us to run for the hills and hide... so instead I deci…
26-04-2018 Hi ands.. that all seems like a long time ago now... am too down to even think of all that at the mo…
24-04-2018 Hi Blue.... you deserve a medal for reading all the way through.. but in the absense of a medal.. he…
21-04-2018 Just for today............. Come on you fool......  RECOVERY !!!!!! …
21-04-2018 Its ok mate... am glad your in a better place. My world is extremely bleak and progressively getting…
18-04-2018 thanks guys.... good to see that some long timers are still about.... seems like your both doing wel…
16-04-2018 Am going to have my monthly pay go into my sisters account thyen she can drip feed it back to me. Th…
18-03-2018 Well the disaster zone that my life has become continues. Done my ******** yesterday. Winning and lo…
05-03-2018 Am back to feeling more human again. These massive shifts I do have to stop. I get really stressed o…
04-03-2018 Thats a really nice thought S... x  I cant comment more now as work beckons... am ok. cheers for no…
03-03-2018 On a positive I played chess with my neighbour, had a chat with my friend on the phone and i haven't…
03-03-2018 Still at rock bottom.... am functioning ok at work but completely depressed outside of work. Not loo…
22-02-2018 Hi all... and thanks for thinking of me... I stopped posting, because once again I sank into the aby…
01-02-2018 Thanks Dunc's. I will be able to cover the bill but appreciate the thought. I have a sister who live…
30-01-2018 Checking in... gamble free... I have £4 to last until friday and then the wages from 1 agency shift…
28-01-2018 Thanks Freda.. well am still gamble free. Did my agency shift and then a long day shift today. Am cr…
25-01-2018 well another day... no gambling since my last post. Ive just picked up an agency shift for saturday,…
24-01-2018 Well am not so sure about "strong" Freda.. am just digging deep cos I have to. Ive managed to wangle…
23-01-2018 Hi Dunc's and congratulations on your gambling free time. My opinion on the Fobt's is that the gover…
23-01-2018 I guess we are all ****** up to an extent You do pick em Freda ;-) …
23-01-2018 well its one week gamble free... its a start. Ive spent much of the last week either at work or cycl…
22-01-2018 Yes Freda.. short and smart.. maybe its vanity but then i have to look reasonable for work. Which re…
20-01-2018 have found some salvation in this thread this evening. leaping around like a clubber :-) Thanks sand…
20-01-2018  final thought. Before christmas I wanted to get my haircut. I have fine hair that just looks a mes…
20-01-2018 I appreciate the thoughts folks.. makes me feel less alone.  This week has been horrendous, no doub…
18-01-2018 Well ive reached my rock bottom. Blew my months wages the other day. Lots of thoughts of self-harm b…
12-01-2018 Alas not doing great. have started reaching out for some support …
11-01-2018 Well its been more than a week without a gamble. This seems like a miracle given what i was like in …
09-01-2018 Hiya.. our situations have many similarities. My thoughts are with you. Like you suggest, just focus…
09-01-2018 Thanks and morning all :-) Another day. Fatigue and tiredness starting to catch up with me. Urges to…
05-01-2018 Hi... its a strange addiction isn't it. One day ya feel a million milkes away from gambling and the …
05-01-2018 Yes taking life back. A positve day today. Feeling chirpy No gambling …
04-01-2018 Wise words Volcano... thankyou So glad i went to work. It was pouring with rain and I was cycling in…
04-01-2018 Am going to work. The urge to go back to bed is so strong... but that would be like throwing the tow…
04-01-2018 well ive just spent the last hour sitting in the bath wanting to die. New depths of despair. A place…
01-01-2018 I appreciate your thoughts folks, but as you notice I post less and less as time passes. The truth b…
18-12-2017 Thanks. No gambling since last post. Feeling focussed on recovery. Won't take any money out with me.…
17-12-2017 Well, here I am again... gamble free since last post. Woke up feeling really stressed and worried ab…
16-12-2017 Yes Duncs your description of the wanting to die scenario is much the same as to how I was feeling y…
15-12-2017 Such dark thoughts... so full of anxiety... so angry with self... so depressed... am like the walkin…
15-12-2017 Deep breaths... …
15-12-2017 I have to go to work now. I have to function. I have to smile and be pleasant But inside am dying...…
15-12-2017 Thanks all. I am at rock bottom... Just feeling numb... nothing to say …
11-11-2017 Well for the last two weeks ive just been working and gambling. Its as simple as that. Ive buried my…
27-10-2017 Hi... Ive always enjoyed reading your diary. You say it as it is, feelings and all. Like you say... …
27-10-2017 Ah bless ya freda... thanks... Ive just gone through an intense period of work. It started with a tw…
24-10-2017 Thanks Freda... am not hanging in there really. Sunday turned into another horrific day of self-abus…
23-10-2017 Yes... I hear you :-) I can't do this on my own. People have been telling me this for 20 years. Left…

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