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Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 12:55

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi F

 

Thanks for your posts and support. And ...well sorry to hear about the relationship issues. Being angry is something I carry in my being. It's not an excuse to keep those traits alive following child abuse. It's serious as we, being grown ups must understand. 

He doesn't sound very healthy for you....why he won't accept help? We all need that to fight our demons and become better people. I hope he realises what's on the cards if his behaviour carries on. 

 

Raise the bar high hun, know your worth and most importantly the line of tolerance. Don't settle for less than you deserve and you deserve so much more in this life!

 

Stay safe and keep calm

 

S xx

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 15:59

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

"An ear infection occurs when a bacterial or viral infection affects the middle ear — the sections of your ear just behind the eardrum. Ear infections can be painful because of inflammation and fluid build-up in the middle ear. Ear infections can be chronic or acute."

Apparently quite nasty experience. I know my sister gets them often esp in so. Very painful.

 

Maybe he feels tired and irritated if been looking after his kid 24/7. Don't jump to conclusions hun!

 

but as I said previously..he has no right to be aggresive/ angry towards you. There is NO excuse for such behaviour...and you are most definitely NOT his target to let anger out.

 

Look after yourself and I hope all will work out well for you

 

xx

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 22:10

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

Oh F..

 

Sorry to hear that! Control freak seems like good word here!

Your post send shivers down my spine as my next door neighbour is "strange". He has two kids...probs 7-8yrs old and time & time again they stay over on a weekends (he is separated) - he uses quite nasty language & sounds like has anger outbursts! For example, This morning I woke up to him shouting " f****g b*****d " at one of his kids :-(

 

Nobody should speak to kids like that. It actually brings fear in me..shall I challenge? I am not really sure how to go about it. I personally find his behaviour appalling.

 

Restrictions like not having a bath and so on at night is not healthy. I had the same....unfortunatelly. but only cause Mummy needed peace and no disturbance around the flat. Number of times I had to hold pee in also...but I was younger than that..maybe 10-14.

 

Anyway. This doesn't sound healthy at all! Many bells are ringing and you kind of noticing them so think clearly hun and make the choice. Don't forget that you need to put yourself FIRST!

 

S&B xx

 

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 11:20

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I'm very nearly done.

Do you know what I'm f ooking sick of? men pretending to be someone much more loving and attentive for a couple of months, then not bothering anymore. What is the point? You're still going to get dumped! The pretending just upsets someone unnecessarily.

I'm not a social worker or a charity case. My relationships need to have something in it for me.

F ooking sick!

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 16:25

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I'm s o f ooking angry! 

He is such an a rse hole! 

I don't even like him, I've realised. He's miserable. He uses "going through a difficult time" as an excuse to withdraw warmth and affection. I don't think warmth and affection ever needs to be withdrawn. You still love people when you're going through a difficult time. 

I don't like him and he's selfish. Funnily enough, he was a completely different person for the first two months we were together. I liked that guy but he was fake.

 

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 16:32

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

The experience replicates gambling completely.

Intermittent reinforcement.

Just enough to keep you coming back for more. To try and make the lights flash again, like they did the first time. 

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 17:01

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi F

 

I sense a lot of anger, disappointment and sadness in your posts. So sorry to read about your pain hun!

 

Please let me know if I can be of any help...just shout & I'll be there!

 

Look after yourself

 

S&B xx

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 17:29

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I am really, really, really angry!

I am sick of meeting selfish people with nothing to offer who pretend to be someone else to get you attached, then just go "surprise! I'm actually a w**ker!" 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 17:36

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I am enjoying ranting because I'm furious and I'm not ashamed of it, or sorry, or guilty.

He was selfish in bed and didn't even cut his toenails, the dirty fu**er. Sometimes his face smelled like sweaty balls.

He was tight-fisted and mean with money, too.

I could overlook all of those things because he used to connect with me. Then even that stopped. A RSE HOLE!!!!!!!

Only someone with zero self-esteem would go out with him.

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 18:34

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Arrogant scabby-faced goblin!

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 19:50

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I think this story sums up how unhealthy he is. He can talk for hours about his personal sob-stories. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's had a hard time but he loves talking about it. Very attached to sympathy.

Anyway, he told me and my friend a story about how nasty his foster father was. How he wouldn't give him a key to the front door and his foster dad used to make him beg to be allowed in. He hasn't given his 16 year old son a key to his own home either. The reason he gives for this? He "hasn't had time". He's had time to go for coffee with his mates and do things for himself, though.

What a nasty horrible way to treat your own child when you already know how that feels.

****.

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 23:19

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Passive-aggressive, face like a can of tuna, bum-boil !

It's very therapeutic :-)

Posted on:
Wed, 14/02/2018 - 23:58

Compulsive Gambler

Joined:
Before 2009

I need to go to bed so haven't read the backstory but chuckling at your 'ranting' - albeit not the content or whatever lies behind it!  hope you get some sleep and all works out as you wish..

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 11:08

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

I had a feeling someone would enjoy my rantings. When we're angry, we're ridiculous! haha!

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 11:18

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

Lol hun!

 

I tried to search "ranting" vids but came accross the "differences" between men & women...still having a chuckle so thought I will share!

 

Keep ranting away...better out than in!

 

S&B  xx

https://youtu.be/-QkmoZguV4c

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 11:40

Borgie

Joined:
2009-11-22

Aww Freda

 

I read threads a lot, nerver comment but I am willing you on all the time ! 

I want you to find somebody worthy sooo much. 

 

What I dont understand is how this one hid is true self, you knew him prior to dating him and so did a lot of other people you know as I understand it and you said none of them had a bad word to say about him so he must be an amazing actor !

Dump him for sure - he sounds horrendous !

I would focus on you - spend time with loving friends, enjpy new hobbies but maybe leave relationships for a while

 

 

You are such a lovely lady - everyone loves you on here for starters - but the men you find are just yucky !!! Leave be for now 

 

xx

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 13:38

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Thanks Borgie <3

I can't believe anyone reads this!

We just took him at face value and felt sorry for him. He is quite paranoid and sees the worst in everyone. His reality must be horrible. He shouldn't be in a relationship but, as you rightly say, nor should I. I just long to be held and loved.

Thanks so much for posting. It means a lot.

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 15:44

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

You probs forgot to put filtering settings on ;-)

 

Of course everyone is reading lol..whoever replies or not is another matter!..and now made me think about my own disastrous rambles...God, why i share so much on open forum...gulp...realisation sinking in lol

 

Thanks for your post. I'm not too enthusiastic of going back, But needs must! I have many things to worry/ stress about and the, going bk falls probably in the 3rd place!

 

Damn..im coming down from whatever I was on earlier lol (cloud nine) & seem to drag urges back with me! Can't win can ya...sun or rain, addiction stays persistent in our heads.....BOOOOOO ya f****g addiction!

 

& here my rant on your thread over lovely lady!

 

Look after yourself and stay safe just for today

 

X

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 20:04

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

The anger passes and all that's left is pain. All attachment is pure pain.

Thanks, S and everyone. 

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 14:38

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Much better today :-)

I don't half work through things fast!

I'm having a chuckle to myself, thinking "it was like going out with Eeyore!" haha. I'm supposed to be the one with depression!

When a big chunk of pain, like a massive poo, comes out of me I feel more full of love than ever. It's funny like that, isn't it?

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 15:08

Wilsy

Joined:
2012-02-22

Pleased today has been a better day for you.

Your post made me laugh, what a personality you have that's priceless.

I can't comment on the poo bit haha

Wilsy

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 21:43

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Aww, thanks, Wilsy!

Better out than in! 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 19:40

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Feeling a bit lonely. I know it's just attachment but I'm finding it hard having no contact with him. I know this might sound a bit selfish and stupid but it would help to have some sign that he is bothered we have split up. 

He really hides vulnerability but it can feel insulting, if that makes sense. Arrrggh!

Just missing the contact, the being touched - even though he was quite lazy with affection, the positive attention. It's hard seeing no-one at all some days.

It's just adjusting, really.

Posted on:
Sun, 18/02/2018 - 19:35

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Contacted him late last night telling him I missed him :-(

Initially, he said he missed me and it seemed to have been helpful to have made contact. I got the reassurance that he genuinely was gutted it had not worked out. Then, somehow, it took a turn and we ended up arguing on messenger for 5 hours!!!! It was exhausting and I've been ill with nervous exhaustion today. I only got 4 hours sleep.

I have never experienced a true love/hate dynamic with anyone, but this is very close. I love him but am scared of him at the same time. I've learned deep lessons from this relationship. Life-changing lessons.

 

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