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I Need Help!

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 18:19

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

As the title says i need help. Ive been on here many times, ive quit many, many times. Saying no is easy you can so no hundreds of times but it hurts so much saying yes just once, both financially and emotionally. Im back as i cant give up myself, ive sorted out my financially situation and im ok with what im paying back each month but yet i still gamble away in large sums for no reason. Its not the money im chasing, i dont really know what it is but either way i need help and thats why im here. I dont think i'll post everyday as i dont want to obsess about it. I want to forget that i gamble, i want to enjoy life. But it'll be nice to know that if the urges strike i can come here and calm them down before i do anything stupid. Thanks for listening.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 18:27

mile end

Joined:
2011-05-02

Self-exclusion is a really good place to start. Takes away alot of the temptation and having to state to the person in the bookies or by telling someone over the phone that you are excluding yourself as you have a problem drives it home where you have got yourself. It is quite humiliating admitting (even to a total stranger who doesn't know you) that you have a problem but it also strengthens your resolve as it makes the problem real, not something you can hide from (which despite the potential for huge financial loss) gambling can be very, very easy to cover up. Good luck.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 18:34

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Thanks mile end, I'll be honest i have self-excluded from most places but then i just went online, then i excluded from that and just found a new account to open and unfortunetly i seem very good at finding somewhere to gamble. My last lose was in an online casino mainly because i think ive ran out of bookies to bet with. Writing this down i really do feel awful, it sounds so bad but i still have that voice saying its ok to bet, its fun, just do a little bet or just on saturdays, i gotta shut up that little devil on my shoulder.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 18:48

mile end

Joined:
2011-05-02

I've done likewise. After a couple of halfhearted attempts where I knew something was amiss but I still looked for ways of justifying gambling It dawned on me how much of my life(I'm not that old) I had lost to gambling or not being able to do stuff due to lack of money (lost gambling). Also when I added up how much I'd lost it really shocked me. I still didn't stop though and it was only when I went close to the brink that I felt so bad I resolved to steer cleer. In the main, bar my 1 recent relapse I managed and you feel so much better for it. Hopefully you wont need to reach such a low ebb to realise it, read the stories on here - they're all real and true and happening to everyday people. We all post to mainly try stop ourselves but also if the thought that it is helping someone else too it in some little way makes the situation we've got ourselves in a little bit more bearable.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 19:03

winningpost

Joined:
2009-12-15

im sorry to say but just a little bet on a Saturday is no good for a compulsive gambler mate. . Lose and you end up chasing on the evenings events ? Win and you end up getting greedy and playing up the winnings ? Have you thought about a basic cash card so you Cant debit transactions ? What about giving a trusted one your finances or carry little or no money ? There are simple ways to block out the gambling evils. Its all down to how desperate we are to stop. Believe in yourself 1st of all YOU CAN DO IT !!!!

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 22:51

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

thanks winningpost I know I can do it. its just actually doing it that's the problem. I know I can't just bet every now and again I have to stop completely but I've still got that voice inside saying a little bet won't hurt or just one more decent bet or whatever. but I must stay committed. tomorrow is day 1. if I can do one day I can do everyday.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/12/2011 - 23:06

.

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi David,

Can relate to all of your posts so much.
Us compulsive gamblers are quite similar in that even when we convince ourselves that we have to stop gambling.
We still know that when those urges and those little voices in our heads come calling we might just be able to control our gambling.

The trouble is (as WP has mentioned) we can't do that. Gambling controls us. We leave that door ajar because we feel like we have to. Self-exclusion is a great tool, but it is only a barrier. We all know that if we don't REALLY want to stop gambling, we will revert to type. And the whole vicious cycle starts again.

Breaking your recovery down into days, or even hours come to that, will help you to begin to focus on your recovery.

Changing our ingrained gambling habits is very hard. It can be done, but it takes such determination and desire.
You have made a great decision to start a recovery diary. Keep posting your story and reading the other diary stories.

You CAN do it David.

Keep strong and keep focused on why you want to/have to stop gambling.

All the best

Ade

Posted on:
Thu, 08/12/2011 - 09:01

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

argh!!! hate my phone just typed a message which took ages cos i cant type fast on my phone and then the internet failed and it wouldnt bloody post. right take 2.

Thanks ade, appreciate the post. At the minute i feel like a big kid - i want what i cant have. At the beginning stages of not gambling i always seem to think about gambling more than i did when i was gambling. I know tho just got to keep going.

I got some great advice from the thread "favourite posts" - for those who havent seen it, its a must read - its in the overcoming problem gambling section. A great idea having a thread filled with great advice or a great story. I just hope i can put the advice to good use.

So day 1 - i will not bet today.

Ive got to add i do feel a little sad having to write day 1 as its something ive wrote/said so many times. Lets hope its the last day 1.

Posted on:
Thu, 08/12/2011 - 19:04

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Day 1 no gambling. I set limits (£1 per week/month) on the newly opened accounts and on the casino accounts i have. I did get tempted to just have one last go before i set the limits but resisted. So i now cant gamble on any of my online accounts and i have self excluded from my local bookies. So the immediate barriers have been put in place. I know though there are ways if i want to get a bet on, i'll get a bet on but you can never get rid of every avenue of gambling and besides there has to be some will power from me. The main thing is the immediate sources of my gambling have been taken away and that will surely help me on my road to recovery. Ive also told some mates & some work collegues and most importantly my wife that im trying to give up gambling. So although im not confident i will beat this (due to many failed attempts in the past) i think im giving myself every chance this time. Im gonna try anyway, it'll be a proud moment when i can say i have some control.

Posted on:
Thu, 08/12/2011 - 19:49

againstnature

Joined:
2011-11-20

Hi David.

If you really are serious you can do this. Forget the limits. Install gamblock or betfilter to all your pc/laptops. Really does help. There is no point in even looking after that.
I have been gambling nearly 30 years and like you have had numerous failed attempts. I kept telling myself I will just have a little bet, reducing my limits etc. It does not work. You must cut it out completely. That is the only way of forgetting about it.
I would much rather be obsessed with coming on here than the gambling. This is free and you think about "not gambling". So you are much likely to forget here. You are among friends here. They have been losers in the past but there are more winners here and some are still trying David. QUITTING IS WINNING my friend. Take care. IanB.

Posted on:
Fri, 09/12/2011 - 23:19

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Day 2 no gambling, no strong urges. Im currently reading overcoming compulsive gambling by Alex Blaszczynski, hope it helps - cant hurt. I think the more advice or tips i can get the better.

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2011 - 05:36

Trigger

Joined:
2011-09-20

Gday David,-reading,posting and trying to understand why we gamble,can only help us find out what triggers the urge to gamble. Your on the right path again,you don't need gambling and all the mood swings,sleepless nites and general misery it enivetably brings. Keep posting and keep strong. CL.

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2011 - 15:42

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

thanks CL. Yep brighter things ahead. just had a Saturday gamble free - I know its early still but all racing done and footy started so no chance of a bet today. Day 3. Day 4 and 5 should be easy as I hardly ever bet on a Sunday and never bet Monday as I'm with the wife all day on a Monday. see ya tomorrow then.

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2011 - 16:15

stitchb

Joined:
2010-07-26

Well done on getting through today, seems you are similar to me horses and sport. Keep going.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2011 - 09:10

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

thanks stich. yep mainly horses and sport. I used to do my dough on the horses then do a massive bet on 1 or 2 odds on shots on the footy to get it back sometimes it worked and id be even for the day or it would lose and id have lost another small fortune - makes a lot of sense doesn't it.

I think sport is were I'll get the urges - watching darts this week and having no bets on is strange, don't get me wrong I enjoy watching it without any pressure on the result but did get a little urge. I watch all kinds of sports but always used to have a bet on them, I'll get used to enjoying sport without money riding on the outcome but I think in the early days its gonna be tempting to have a punt. But I've gotta remember they'll always be urges but I don't have to act on them.

Posted on:
Tue, 13/12/2011 - 10:18

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

really stressed out Sunday night and Monday morning. the reason - Ive been watching the darts on itv4 and halfway through the tourney I fancied painter and although I weren't gonna have a bet I saw he was 16/1. didn't have a bet and then when I watched him win all I could think of was how I was gonna get back the money I lost on not backing him. bloody stupid. I haven't lost anything but still I kept trying to work out how much I wouldve put on maybe 5 maybe 10 trying so hard to figure out what I lost and how to get it back. I was funny with the missus because once again my mind was filled with gambling thoughts and I didn't wanna waste time taking to her about stuff not as important as my gambling - ridiculous. luckily I got over that and I'm ok and realised I'm being an idiot and just realising again how gambling is effecting my life.

Posted on:
Tue, 13/12/2011 - 19:48

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

day 6 no bets. had a chat with a mate of mine. was nice to say a few things to someone I know aswell as coming on here.

Posted on:
Wed, 14/12/2011 - 00:43

.

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi David,

Just caught up with your diary, and with regard to your post about the darts. It's a natural reaction for many of us compulsive gamblers to react like that over a bet we might or might not have done. It's just the mind playing tricks on you.

It doesn't really matter what price he was, how much you would have staked, whether he won or lost the match.
What really matters is the fact that you did not gamble.

I always remember when I first started my recovery diary (over 3 years ago now!), I guy called Stevey gave me a great piece of advice that I never really took on board until quite recently.

He post to me read:

"Try fast forwarding the video/DVD if you have an "occasional" £5 bet. See where you go and be honest with yourself. For me I know it would be back in the bookies chasing money like I always did. Remember you have a choice today."

Keep strong David.

All the best

Ade