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#1 Posted on:
Mon, 19/12/2011 - 04:06

iAmFree

Joined:
2010-03-18

Thing have been going so well. Up until last night I hadn't gambled at an online casino for several months and I was rarely spending time at the bookies.

Last night was bad.

I had £175 left on my card, for xmas. I deposited 150 at an online casino, lost it and then deposited 150 more, then another 100 (why do they let me do this??) and I lost it all or else I wouldn't be here. So in a few days I will be about 250 over my od limit and I have all my xmas presents to buy. Feeling pretty depressed right now, the future doesn't look so bright after last night. What am I lacking, why did I do this?

Posted on:
Mon, 19/12/2011 - 08:32

Smiler

Joined:
2011-01-17

Hi Free
You must ask yourself honestly if you are fed up of losing or fed up of gambling. There are no quick fixes here and most people are here because they have felt the pain you are currently experiencing. You have to learn from this feeling and hold it with you for the coming future. Gambling has a way of distorting your thoughts and telling you it won't be bad next time. Get yourself excluded from all sites and bookies and get a betfilter on computer. It ain't easy but it gets easier so the sooner you start the better off you will be. Take care

Posted on:
Mon, 19/12/2011 - 23:29

fatuesque

Joined:
2011-04-03

"Rarely spending any time at the bookies"?

You need to self exclude from as many as you can to give up and also have blocks in place if you're an online gambler.

To truly stop the losses you need to learn to refuse the WINS as well as the losses because it all leads to the same thing which are LOSSES.

Posted on:
Tue, 20/12/2011 - 03:20

chunny

Joined:
2010-01-11

hey mate, i've just done exactly the same thing, stayed clear of online gambling for so long but then went back onto it to do a football bet, i ended up winning £200 from a £10 bet and thought wow lets carry on. I have since played online casino games aswell and just tonight have lost those £200 winnings aswell as another £200 of my own money. WHAT THE HELL! all in 30mins perhaps and i just cud not stop myself depositing and clicking bet on the mouse. How do you psychologically stop yourself i wonder? you know its wrong and its not worth it, but yet ur brain stops and you just go for it. I mean how do you stop the urge? mentally?? its crazy!

Posted on:
Tue, 20/12/2011 - 07:34

Stephen

Joined:
Before 2009

"I mean how do you stop the urge?"

In recovery, my concern isn't about stopping the urge. It is said that the addiction is never cured and that may very well be true for some, perhaps many including me. That being said, I don't fear urges and I do not worry about them, because I know that I will not act on any urge.

In a nutshell, gambling addiction is about self-abusive and self-destructive behavior, and when we are completely honest with ourselves, we will realize that our gambling boils down to these fundamental concepts of self-abuse and self-destruction.

By working a good recovery program, I no longer have an appetite for self-abusive and self-destructive behavior, hence if I do get an urge, I do not act on it and so will not succumb to the addiction because I know that the next bet will lead to harm and destruction in my life - I of course don't need that, but even more importantly I no longer want that.

It's a tough addiction and can be a complex addiction as well because of the money aspect involved. We need to remember that gambling addiction for some, if not most of us isn't only about the money, it's about self-abuse and self-destruction in our lives - which is precisely why the personal issues which cause us to mask over and escape from our problems thru gambling, must be addressed and resolved in order to achieve a successful recovery. If we do not resolve these personal problems, then even when we stop gambling, other addictions could take the place of the gambling, or the gambling may return.

YFIR,

Steve

Posted on:
Tue, 20/12/2011 - 12:49

Alan

Joined:
Before 2009

I read your post Stephen and i must say, it is so meaningful, Gambling does lead to more destruction, i think stress had parts to do to with my own destruction, and gambling indeed was a way out i thought! but really it leads to more destruction! thank you for your inspiration.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/12/2011 - 11:00

Stephen

Joined:
Before 2009

Thanks Alan - Lots of great posts on this forum from those experienced with this addiction. I have learned much from the members here, and I enjoy giving back as well - definitely a win-win situation for all of us.

Gambling truly is such a complex addiction. No alcoholic, smoker, drug addict, etc, could possibly believe that the next hit of the addiction could be a good thing for them, but they do it anyway just to continue with their reasons for doing so. But with gambling, the next hit of the addiction, IE that next bet, on something such as a lottery jackpot ticket or a coin in a jackpot gambling machine, has the possibility of producing a major life changing, life altering event...which in my opinion is one thing that makes gambling addiction the toughest addiction of them all.

In my recovery viewpoint, the only way for someone to truly succeed in recovery is to remove gambling from their lives. Any addict in recovery who thinks that they can go back to small bets, occasional gambling, responsible gambling, or something such as that, in my opinion is only fooling themselves. All that is doing is fueling the addiction until it flares up again to cause more harm and destruction in our lives.

Yes, buying a one pound lottery ticket once in awhile in theory wouldn't hurt all that much, about the cost of a hamburger. However it never stops at one ticket now does it? It's one ticket here and one ticket there, and sooner or later it progresses to more tickets here and many tickets there, and/or other forms of gambling. I have never known an exception.

Could an exception be possible? Of course the addiction will try to con us into believing that we are the one who could be the exception and have self-control and be responsible with our gambling...it's a cunning addiction isn't it?

YFIR,

Steve

Posted on:
Tue, 03/01/2012 - 06:37

iAmFree2

Joined:
2012-01-03

New account because I lost the login.

Just want to say thanks for all the great support and info. Things have been going really well since the first post, even if I am pretty broke for the time being!

I have been reading up on the science behind addiction and finding it very interesting.

Here is a quote:

''Being hooked on gambling is not a character flaw, or a sign of weakness, but evidence of an addiction process at work that is changing your brain.''

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2012 - 23:53

iAmFree2

Joined:
2012-01-03

Ah goddammit guys, I was almost exactly 3 months gamble free, I didn't lose control once. I didn't feel the need to gamble at all really.

Yesterday I relapsed and totally lost control and even tried to pawn some jewellery this afternoon in a desperate effort to stay in the game.

Is this normal? How can I break out of this again before it gets out of control? :(

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2012 - 00:20

canterburymale

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi,
I've been where you've been. I stopped for 4 months twice and for no reason walked straight back into the bookies. I tried many things but what worked for me the most was reading a book called 'Overcoming gambling' by Phil Mawer. Best money i ever spent. It's from an ex compulsive gambler so he knows what he's talking about. Try a GA meeting, get blocks on your computer, self-exclude but NEVER stop trying to beat this! You will get there in the end. If at first you don't succed, try, try again my friend!

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2012 - 13:27

deeds

Joined:
Before 2009

Many thanks CM

Really appreciate your comment and so glad it worked for you.

Iamfree2 if there is anything you need help with please contact me through either GC or my gamblersaloud website

This addiction CAN be overcome TOTALLY (ie no relapses) with the right mindset and I can show you how

Best regards
Phil

Phil Mawer
Author "Overcoming Gambling"
Founder Gamblersaloud