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what am i trying to win

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#1 Posted on:
Fri, 18/08/2017 - 23:19

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Back to square one but hopeful. Just watching a film after an afternoon which involved gambling. Ive been upping my stakes on fruit machines, not intentionally but started playing a machine with a higher jackpot that is in my local pub. I have started to think that 20 pounds is a reasonable amount to waste, put that in then off to the cash machine I go forty of sixty out then put that in untill I'm either even again or down the lot. It is like I don't know the value of money any more. I mean twenty is two and a half hours work for me it doesn't make any sence

​so been thinking what am I trying to achieve from this am I just trying to get into trouble, trying to lose all my money or keep doing it and have a problem for the rest of my life untill I'm putting thousands in an online casino when I'm older and go bankrupt. So the short of this is ive decided I need to change my ways whilst I can. I'm at the top of my poker leagues I play three times a week but with the pubs comes the fruit machines and I really cant go in pubs without going on them. So I'm going to stop going to my poker games and stop going to pubs with fruit machines. This is going to be the hardest thing ive done for a long time but its definitely the right time. I also recently made plans to save up and go to Vegas now this is my gambling mind playing tricks on me, it would be a disaster, friends say id really enjoy it but they probably don't know how much of a problem I have. Needless to say I'm not going. Never going its time to start a new era of my life. I want to win back life and I'm going to do that by not gambling one day at a time, at the moment that sounds like a mamoth task but it really shouldn't be its just like I have to start a different life. I don't earn much and I'm allways getting overtime and wanting carreer progression in the hope that i can get a pay rise but really its just money, I need to stop wanting money. Money doesn't make life better, it doesn't make u happy, it doesn't get u friends or family if anything it just causes stress. I need to aim to stop decreasing the amount I have by just stopping loosing it. I think gambling is really increasing aroung the uk because during this film there has been three ads per advert break associated with gambling, never used to be like that not that I can remember. They just want money for nothing. That part of my life is over.

Posted on:
Fri, 18/08/2017 - 23:30

Sully2017

Joined:
2017-05-28

What a positive post! Good for you - you are taking control and thinking through the consequences of choosing to gamble. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to see what you see in yourself. But the past is the past. You are making positive choices and I wish you lots of luck!

Posted on:
Fri, 18/08/2017 - 23:35

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So tomo is day one. In the past two years ive said that soo many times... In fact I dispise saying that soo much that I'm not going to count the days anymore ill just say this is still the start of my new life.

Posted on:
Sat, 19/08/2017 - 00:00

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Thank you very much sully it means a lot

Posted on:
Sat, 19/08/2017 - 00:16

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So what am I going to do with myself with all this spare time.....golf, walks, swimming, pubs without fruit machines (theres one in town thankfully and its a good one), computer games, clubs, music festivals, birthdays, holidays in the sun. Everything that's good seems to be the opposite of gambling. I wont worry about my spending ill just manage it more sensibly. blocks are all already in place just have to stop myself going in the bad pubs.Feeling really positive about this.....What do I want from the rest of 2017...... Well I would like one hundred each month to go towards travelling....already put 67 in today into a savings account.... So another 33 when I get paid.... I would like to lose 3 pounds in weight by being more active and id like to put my full effort into my job which as a result should keep me secure in my current role. I have sat sun Mon as holiday to rest, no drinking or pubs this weekend to get me off to a good start. Here goes winning my new life

Posted on:
Sat, 19/08/2017 - 00:31

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

Love how positve you sound. I am only 2 days gamble free but I am already trying to make positve plans for the rest of my life but more importantly the rest of the day (one day at a time and all).

Good luck

Posted on:
Sat, 19/08/2017 - 23:40

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Thanks xenandra and good luck we can do this together. Went and played golf with my dad today broke 100 and was well pleased. Then went to a mates and watched a film. Back at home now and in bed relaxing. Mates went to casino today for a poker tournament iusually go to. Haven't told them ive excluded myself and they were all wondering why I didn't go. I gues there will be more of this to come as I'm not going to poker anymore . It will be tough I know that but I've just got to think what am I trying to win ?. Ive spent 900 on poker and fruit machines this year, I keep a spreadsheet of my outgoings. For me this ws good as I was keeping track of it. That nine hundred could of been spent more wisely and from now on the net neightmonths if I'm strong will be spentbtter.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/08/2017 - 08:02

Athena1991

Joined:
2016-09-17

 

Hi Route66

Really enjoyed reading your post - its great to see how active you have been in realising that you need to stop with the league and the pubs ith fruit machines! Your gambling mind is great at playing tricks on you and telling you that you should go to vegas and that the next big win is coming! I too had plans to go vegas, but know it would be the worst thing for me! I am currently on day 6 being gf and have a long journey ahead of me but stick to the one day at a time attitude which seems to work best. When you wake up in the morning, all you should ask of yourself is that you go the day without gambling. A lot of money has been wasted on gambling and i have a small amount of debt to pay back - however, I am not focused on that as I am paying it back and that money is gone. No trying to get it back as its gone and never coming back, however I know that going forward i can enjoy a lot more money than I have ever had being gf.

I wish you the best in your journey.

Athena

Posted on:
Sun, 20/08/2017 - 18:03

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Thank u very much Athena for ur post, means a lot. Today the gambling mind is back, just go to the end of the season, just win the trophy, just go to the pub and watch the spurs game, all things that give me a short term fix but will undoubtably end in being back to square one. I'm going to go out for a walk tonight and get some fresh air, a bit of execise and hope that my mind is ready when I wake up tomo..

Posted on:
Mon, 21/08/2017 - 20:11

Athena1991

Joined:
2016-09-17

 

How did today go? No problem - watching football is something i do to keep me occupied and i love watching even without a bet. I have been going to the gym regularly too and cannot recommend it enough or exercsising regularly good for stress relief and to keep your head clear.

Athena

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 22:52

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hi Athena thanks for the post. Well just over a week since my last post and boy have I had a bad week on the gambling front. I went to poker three times in pub couldn't resist the urge, went on slot machines each time , went to cash machines each time when I ran out of money and lost a lot. Ive actually been lucky enough to have hit rock bottom now without going into a lot of debt. Ive gone through every possible kind of gambling accessible to me lost a lot self excluded and come out the other side having learnt a valuable lesson. Ive got three weeks left of my poker season and I'm definitely not playing again after that, id like to stop before then but when the urge strikes in generally weak and go. So I haven't gambled since Friday, lost seventy on Friday and really regretted if over the weekend. I can have a good time not going to the pubs, ill just go round a mates for a few beers and save my money towards holidays. lso I go to my poker nights three times a week and get back very late then wake up the next morning bleary eyed saying early night for me tonight not again then I go and do it again once ive woken up. Started to go out for walks whilst listening to my I pod and its really good for some exercise so gonna keep that up. So tomo will have an early night hopefully not go to poker and be fresh faced for work on Tuesday. Also looked up some holidays and there are some bargins to be had if u can find them I found an all inclusive deal to Ibiza half price for may 368 for a week each a steal. I could pay for that by November if I don't gamble.