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We CAN and we WILL - Join the 100 day and 2017 Challenges!

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#1 Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 08:36

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** UPDATE - 15th August 2017 ***

Please note that the 100-day challenge is temporarily suspended, but there's the highly recommended 2017 Challenge that can be found here.

Thank you, 

Mixer

*****************************************************************************

Welcome to the Home of the 100 day challenge! But read on ... 

There are in fact TWO challenges running right now if you're determined to be gambling-free (GF) day-by-day, forever.

  • the 2017 Challenge; just visit the '2017 Challenge' thread in the 'Overcoming Problem Gambling' section on the Forums (run by Martin and Dean0); just click --> here <-- to find it
  • the 100 Day Challenge, where all members vow to be GF for 100 days (that's this thread)

Why not seriously consider joining one, or both. You'll be warmly welcomed by both groups whatever you may decide to do! Good luck!

Can you stop gambling for 100 days? If so, join our challenge group. Our aim is for EVERY member of our group to hit 100 days. If we stumble, we pick each other up. Fancy a challenge? Then simply click the 'Last Post' button and drop us a line!

This group evolved from an informal small support group thread started by Mixer  KP82, Katiecoo, Rhoda and Change with one thing in common: we all unconditionally look out for and encourage each other to STOP and continue to be gambling free - forever. To choose life over misery. The inspiration to set up this thread came from KP82 who also provides our excellent mantra, clarion call and sign off: We CAN and we WILL. (WCAWW). 

For us to succeed you'll need any number of the following...

1. Determination

2.  Practical measures (blocking gaming websites, banning from casinos, breaking the 'triangle', removing one of time/money/opportunity elements.

3. Counselling and/or GA meetings.

4. A realisation that your gambling addiction needs day-to-day attention to keep it at bay, forever

5. Honesty

6. Wanting to choose life over misery (for you and your loved ones).

7. Support of this website and other members of this challenge group!

8. A hellbent desire to succeed (see point 1).

We can do it - together!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 12:15

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi guys.

This is a great idea mix. A focal meeting point for us and anyone who wishes to join and share our collective support.

We CAN and we WILL.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 12:54

Sillycow

Joined:
2016-12-09

Can I join you folks? You are a few days ahead of me in your recovery and I would be honoured to become part of that both for myself and any others.

I've tried and failed so many times over the years but I've tried alone and I think that that is my downfall...I've always been fiercely independent, ridiculously private and find it extremely difficult to admit to others when I need help....well no more.....I need help, I need support.....and if I can return that support to others then even better....

Let's stick together and do this....

We CAN and we WILL!

M xx

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 13:15

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Welcome SC, an absolute pleasure to welcome you on board!

We have all tried in the past, goodness me how any times have I tried, but this time - it's for real. You are doing brilliant as you get into your stride. And we are right behind you, every day, when you're feeling weak and when you're feeling strong and want to shout it from the rooftops!

You are making a great start. Keep it going and blast away another Gambling free (GF) day!

KP has it in a nutshell. We CAN and we WILL!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 14:49

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Yes of course your welcome to join us.

All I ask is that you check in daily like we do and write on your own diary or others, or if you wish you can post here.

We are trying very hard to support each other and if you so relapse we will do our utmost to pick you up.

Please also attend the chat rooms when you can. I find just chatting even about general stuff with people suffering the same ailment is so helpful. I'm on day 9.

We CAN and we WILL

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 14:51

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Exactly right KP, and this is where the hard work really starts.

It is now time to dig in. This is serious. We want LIFE, not MISERY.

WCAWW.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 14:58

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

KP, Katiecoo, Chance, Rhoda, SC - We are united and strong and with each other all the way.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 15:45

Pinky333

Joined:
2012-10-24

Hey xx I'll get in on this thread. I'm back to day one again. I could use a little extra support and offer mine.

It's nice to have some poeple to chat to and check in with. I was regularly reading others diaries and giving encouragement, and them me, but we sort of drifted off after a few weeks/months and stopped it. 

So, hello everyone. I'm Angela. :-)

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 16:15

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

 

 

Hi Angela! Welcome aboard and great you're on Day 1! Tomorrow it will be Day 2. Here, we rack up the days together. We have no respect for the destructive boxes, computer programs, horses, football or whatever gambling devices that have enslaved us.

No more!

You are choosing life instead of misery. And that starts NOW. We are all with you. Keep posting Angela. We will be following your journey as you get to Day 7. We know you will because you are saying to yourself: Enough is Enough. You are going to take practical steps to help you and avail yourself of the fantastic resources on this site, which includes dedicated free counselling, chat rooms, forums and more, as you probably know. You are sick to death of being skint and wasting time engaging in this solitary, wasteful pursuit.

We now have 7 of us on this thread. The Magnificent Seven!

A rollcall of those most determined: KP, Katiecoo, Change, Rhoda, Angela, SC and Mixer.

We are deadly serious and want to stop this nonsense forever. I cannot over-emphasise this point enough. 

KP puts it best. We CAN And We WILL.

P.S. This diary isnt going to drift. You have my word.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 19:37

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Fellow friends and kindred spirits,

I have been a very heavy gambler for years, and I don't know about you, but I have been gambling like a ****** but living like a pauper!

If I buy something, like a pair of shoes, they are inevitably the cheapest. (And wear out quickly so false economy.) 

If my family goes out for a meal, inevitably I check the prices and it's a cheap one all round. I've even nagged if someone buys a dessert - "we can have an ice cream later for half the cost". My wife's put up with a lot.

I even turn down the heating down and turn off unnecessary lights at home.

Now, the last one is good practice, no-one wants to overpay their bills, but here's the point.

I've been saving pennies on life but spending pounds on misery!

To perfectly illustrate, I would go to a casino, blow hundreds and walk an hour home to save £10 on a cab!

Can anyone resonate with this? And, of course, it's not just me affected; it's my loved ones who could have had so much more. The relationships I've lost over the years, not because I've been unnecessarily mean, but been seen to be irrationally pumping more cash in the slot rather than on them). -m-

Now, here's a suggestion. When we reach Day 14 (when, not if) how about we treat ourselves a little, and/or our loved ones BUT only if it's wise. Your loved ones may not be receptive; if you have confessed to crippling debt, then this will not probably be a good thing to do.. Or it might be seen as 'buying' an apology. (These last few comments have been added at a later date, thank you Lethe for the heads up and great advice).

Lethe also suggests the best gift we can give our loved ones is honesty, transparency and reliability - I couldn't agree more!

If you think it wise, consider what you would have lost in the last two weeks, and spend 50% of the sum saved on treats. Buy those decent shoes! Get that haircut or new style! Get that decent present for your partner! Buy those  branded trainers for once! Perhaps save the other 50% for debts, or simply save it towards that decent holiday that may be within reach.

Now, I fully understand that what drives some gamblers to stop are the debts; they've gotten so high there is simply no choice but to stop.

Even so, give yourself a small treat, even its a couple of quid. The treat could be telling your loved ones (if you think it would that you haven't gambled for 2 weeks. And starting to make inroads in any debts is immensely satisfying. One day they will be gone and it's all systems go.

 

 

We should be allowed to enjoy ourselves as we enjoy gambling free status. And Day 14 is a marker that says we mean business. 

Now gambling is often linked to underlying issues and problems that need to be brought to the surface; if so, our clearer heads are quietly starting to work on these, and what a better way to reward the brain than with a treat!

I'm hitting Day 14 in a couple of days. Katiecoo likewise, and KP in the slipstream! Change is there, Rhoda on her way and Angela and SC out of the blocks.

There's a lot of hard work and soul searching going on with all of us as we adopt our decision to embrace life. And we can actually enjoy it too; gambling free has an upside that WILL come through in the end, even if things seem very dark at the moment.

WCAWW.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 20:47

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Day 6 done:-) . Often I would be sitting in front of a machine at this time...instead I'm home, and feeling ok. Hope everyone else is having a good evening. I so identify with saving pennies and wasting pounds; I have always been so careful with money, but once I am sitting in front of a machine £20 notes lose all value. I don't understand why...I don't understand how when playing the machines I can be sensible for a while, but then a switch is flicked and I just don't care any longer how much I am putting in. I almost feel driven to play until it is all gone. R 

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 20:59

Sillycow

Joined:
2016-12-09

I know exactly what you mean....I'm so mean with money in every aspect of my life EXCEPT the gambling....I'll scrimp on food shopping, stay in too much because going out always costs something whether it just be the bus fare or whatever, I've recently moved home and need so much but yet I do nothing about it because "I can't afford it", I moan and groan when my Son asks  for a wee lend of a few quid until his payday....all of these things are nothing compared to the thousands I've thrown at online Slots...I never ever treat myself to anything, not a single penny but I'll blindly hit that "deposit" button over and over again, first on the debit card and when that's gone....the credit cards :(

But....no more....nope...not today!

And hey you Mixer....no mention of me in rollcall...lol....

We CAN and we WILL

M x

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:05

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi SC, firstly I am so sorry I missed you off at rollcall (I've edited my posts above and you're back!) You are of course a fine, decidated and most welcome member of our group. I wont miss you off again! I'm pleased my post resonated; and how we can change our lives for the better QUICKLY, if not financially, psychlogically and happier. The rewards of not gamblng are multi-faceted.

We are all delighted that you have stormed this weekend. Fantastic achievement and I know this week there will be more of the same. Atta girl !

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:10

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

 

Rhoda, well done for seeing through your first weekend. You have chosen life over misery. We have all stopped on this thread, that's 8 of us. We are sticking together, and reaping some rewards already! Day 7 tomorrow, and double digits in a few short days. Really great stuff Rhoda, one of our 8 founder members on a thread that is going to make history; because its participants are good people with utter determination to enjoy the new-found non-gambling destination and stay there.

WCAWW - PK's words that will always be the cornerstone of this thread.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:13

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi all.

This diary absolutely will NOT trail off. I will post here every day of my life if need to.

With respect to what mixer said, I am the opposite. I buy expensive trainers and clothes. I shop well and buy good food.

HOW EVER........when I sit in front of a flashing box I'll quite happily pound the paper in aswell when I can spend that money on far better things, like my kids.

Personally I'm quitting because my partner had enough of it.

I went home one night last week in a rage because I was dragged away from the machine and threatened to beat her.

That is disgusting. Albeit fuelled by alcohol aswell that is absolutely no excuse.

I've lost the best thing I ever had because of gambling.

I've got to fight like hell to try and fix things but at the moment it's still raw and no I don't blame her at all.

That's my honest story.

I have to stop. I can stop. I will stop. I HAVE stopped. Day 10 tomorrow for me.

So can you.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:15

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

I did have will of steel.

That has become will of kevlar.

Day 10 tomorrow only strengthens my resolve.

I shall have will of titanium.

SO WILL YOU.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:21

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi KP,

I fully respect your position, and it illustrates why we are all different and have a wide range of reasons for quitting.

Your honesty is humbling and refreshing and demonstrates to me that you are very, very serious about this. I can "see it in your eyes"; you are NOT going to entertain this nonsense again.

As you rightly acknowledge things are still very raw. And you have faced and accepted the truth.

You are hitting Day 10 tomorrow. 10 days, unthinkable when you started. But now? A piece of p-. Fuelled by a single-minded determination. The rawness will subside and I know you will be strong however the future twists and turns. We are with you all the way mate, you can count on that. One things for certain, as you wrote earlier, a phoenix is rising from the ashes. The old KP has gone into the pits of hell along with all of the boxes. Picture that scene, KP, and then turn away; waving it away in disgust.

This thread - the thread YOU inspired, KP - is going to be forever prominent. We will all make it so. 

WCAWW. 

P.S. KP, you said your will is now like Titanium. So is mine, I genuinely feel extremely determined. More so than when I started. Serious is not the word. Let's all be very strong, all of us!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:32

Sillycow

Joined:
2016-12-09

Hi KP

Like Mixer I too am humbled by your honesty , that can't have been easy to admit but it shows strength and for that you should be proud...you're into double figures tomorrow, now that IS definitely something to be proud of!!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 21:54

Rogerson10

Joined:
2016-12-11

 

Hi All,

 

Rogerson here! I have often had some big losses every 6 months or so then stop and delete my online account but always come back and create a new account after a month or two. 

Today was the very line, I have spent the last 6 months cutting down on everyday spending to put money away to save up and look to get on the property ladder. Today however I went to the pub (not drinking) to watch the football and placed a small £20 bet on a wild outcome to try and hit the jackpot. It obviously lost but from there I kept chasing my losses on the game til I found myself about £150 down by the end of the match. After this I came home and set on the sofa with my phone and went onto the online casino thinking if I deposited £300 I could win back my losses easily. This didn't happen however and the losses built up and built up. I can every close to winning it back and halved my losses but felt I couldn't  stop til I had it all back. 

From this I ended up spending all over my savings I had put towards a house by maxing out my credit and debit cards. I will now have to use the savings to cover this. 

I have told my girlfriend but she isn't being too supportive so thought I'd post on here. 

I am determined to stop for good and not bet anything anymore, I am just scared I will end up finding another website to create an account. Anyway I won't bore you anymore. 

Tomorrow is day 1 and I am buzzing to start my GF week forever. Great to read how well everyone is doing!

Thanks for reading, needed to get it off my chest. 

Rogerson. WCAWW

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Rogerson, thank you for writing and a very warm welcome to our group!

First things first, tomorrow is your Day 1. You must get through tomorrow, and then Day 2 and so on. We are all serious and want you to hit Day 7. You are gong to hit Day 7.

We've all been where you've been (binge gambling's been my forte, too) and you have had the precience to stop just before you've gone over the cliff. Your girlfriend isn't being too supportive, but that's not a surprise. She will want to know you're dealing with this, and fast. You know this deep down I'm sure.

You can block all websites straight away with software found in start in the "Overcoming Problem Gambling" section of the Forums, under "Blocking Software". If you are serious, and I believe you've had enough of this destructive nonsense that will otherwise get the better of you (better of all of us if we don't act), then you'll do it. If, and only if, you think your girlfriend will appreciate being aware of your move, let her witness you doing it. You can also ban yourself from bookies in your area, again, the informations here. Consider doing that too.

Sorry to launch in with potential actions you could consider, however thought you would appreciate this rather than "tea and sympathy" which will be of diddly-squat use to you to be frank.

You can turn this around - these are actions you can carry out today, or tomorrow. We all support each other here, have ALL stopped, and want to stay in the infinitely better gambing-free world.

You can do it Rogerson. Hence why I've cut to the chase with immediate moves you'll consider sharpish!

P.S. I'm undergoing counselling, organised by Gamcare, here - you can phone em or start a chat going - and its helping me no end. Definitely worth a thought. We CAN and we WILL.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:16

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

We CAN and we WILL!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:21

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi rogerson.

Welcome to our little group.

With all due respect, there is no sympathy here.

No self pity either.

We caused this mess, it's down to US to be honest with ourselves to beat this demon.

Your girlfriend doesn't understand the attraction to it, neither did mine.

I have lost my partner and the kids because of my actions. Don't do the same my friend.

There is help available. We will support you.

It CAN be beat and it WILL be beat.

Please check into this forum every day and leave us a message. One of us will get back to you.

Get through day 1 and you'll already feel better.

Trust me. 10 days for me tomorrow.

I'm enjoying my bank balance every morning.

We CAN and we WILL.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:31

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hi I'm Adam and I went to the casino on Friday after lasting two weeks. Day two today I will follow everyone's progress on this thread and speak a bit more about my gambling tomo afternoon. Sleep well my friends

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:34

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Excellent post KP and you're right - We don't do tea and sympathy here. We don't do self pity. We are here to encourage each other to understand our respective situations and to positively encourage all necessary steps, and offer fantastic unconditional support, to stop us gambling and continue to be gambling free. And, most positively, we have a fantastic group of people here and it's growing all the time. We ALL want to succeed. We WILL succeed. In fact...

We CAN and we WILL.  

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:43

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Adam (read the beano); you did really well and the way I look at it, your 14 days was the dress rehearsal. This is the real thing and I know you are serious about this. This group is very serious, you know that. I can't quite put it into words how determined we are. Looking forward to your post tomorrow, and congratulations on your Day 2! This is it now, readthebeano. You know that, we all know that. If you decide to join our group, you are more than welcome. We CAN and we WILL.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:43

Rogerson10

Joined:
2016-12-11

 

Great, thanks guys I will take a look at the software straight away. Does it work for phones as well? Feeling good about this. The losses will seem nothing compared to the savings we will make over the long term. Looking forward to the first day of the rest of my life tomorrow! 

WCAWW

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 22:45

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

I believe so, Rogerson, the posts on this forum should give you the gen you need. The savings, and free cash you'll generate, will be SPECTACULAR. Time to choose life over misery. WCAWW.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 23:11

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Week End (11/12/16) WCAWW Rollcall:

KP82 (9 days)

Katiecoo (11)

Change (152!) - amazing

SC (2)

Mixer (11)

Rhoda (Undisclosed)

Angela, Rogerson: deciding to go for life rather than misery tomorrow - good (and only) choice. Let's chalk some days up. It matters. Go for it :)

Total non-gaming days between us - 185.

Thought: If we all stopped another week, that would be 237 days between us!

WCAWW

 

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 23:11

Rogerson10

Joined:
2016-12-11

Excellent. Only wish I had joined this group this morning :(

Posted on:
Sun, 11/12/2016 - 23:14

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Yep, can understand where you're coming from there Rogerson. I do share your gallows humour. Impulsive gambling really is the worst. However. You've joined now, Rogerson. And I sense you're in this for the long haul. Welcome aboard. This is tough - we all know that - but we can do it. Using some of that wasted time on here helps train the brain to do better things, rather than waste it on expensive, destructive frivolity; which it is really. I implore you, as does KP, not to let yourself down. 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 00:01

Gavinb

Joined:
2016-12-06

Hi everyone I'm gavin I'm on my 5th day. I am constantly reading over this forum and have to say you are so supportive and it really touches me.

A brief recap of the last 10 years of my life. Met a girl. Went to greyhound racing for a night out.

Started placing tiny bets on greyhound.

I am into software programming so love analysing data and trying to produce solutions.

Saw Darren browns tv show about betting on horses.

Switched to betting on horses.

Got lucky on a 3 horse bet. Won £1600.

I remember thinking to myself. We're a young family. I'm on £1000 a month fixed income.
Im going to keep betting on horses I was looking to try and win a life changing amount of money.

That is the last bit of me being normal I remember. The rest is nothing but misery.

I turned into the most pathetic person. Nicking WiFi from the petrol station opposite our flat. I had to crouch against the front door in the flat to get it. I use to come home from work and do that every night.

I was gone in the head. Totally obsessed. I would feel real sadness if I would even miss 1 race.

Where has the time and money gone!

I later had a second child. Little boy and I think even on the day my ex partner gave birth. I was at home with my little girl and I was gambling online. (80% horses 20% football)

My son was born. I did not want to work. All I could think about was making a living off betting on horses. Like it was the only way I could earn an uncapped amount of money.

I would win big amounts. Plough it all back in and be down £1000 of my own cash each month.

I was borrowing heavily from my mum and dad.

Next I even spent my partners inheritance money which was about £900.

I use to get fustrated at her. Id say why didn't you get me off there win I was winning!

I was such a toss*r.

A few months later she got a job. She made new freinds and she left my sorry ar*e for another man. Without me knowing about it.

She took my children and they have a new life now. I always loved my children so much they were and still are my little best freinds. I'm lucky I can see them. Not as much as I would like but enough to feel I know them :)

By this time I had run up a few credit card debts.

Could not tell you how much I spent but probably was around £20,000

But at this point I had got a job but it was unsociable hours and I just think my partner had just fallen out of love with me. I do not blame her. I did not care for my appearance, nothing.

After she had left with the kids. I moved back In with my mum and to be fair got right back on track. Was working. Then slowly the lads around me would talk about football a lot. I think I started betting on football again and then was straight back on the horses.

I have moved from job tö job. Most of the time I would secretly bet at work.

It's not like I am just spending money I can afford to loose. I am gambling with my whole wages then relying on other people to get me through the month.

Somehow I managed to meet a lovely girl and quite quickly after we fell in love we had twins. When she fell in love she did not know I was a gambler. I kept it from her. She did not see me gamble for quite a while. Probrably untill everything became very comfortable and you start taking for granted what you have.

I have been gambling non stop. I have created software to gamble. I have researched every aspect of horse racing I could. All the angles. Does not matter. I am a gambling addict and that is it.

I have racked up around 25,000 in debt in the last 2 years. Plus 80% of any cash that passes through me has gone on online bookies or impulse high street bookmaker betting.

Gambling has made me lonely. Lie to everyone. Lie even about the lies. I have not shown the important people in my life the attention they deserve. My actions have caused true misery for other people.

While I have £10 on something it blocks it out. But deep down I know excactly what a horrible person i am when I am putting gambling first.

Not anymore. If I see anything to do with sports I close my eyes. If I think of anything about gambling i change my thought or block it out or come on here.

Thank you for the support you have already given me.

Almost on day 6 now.

And you know what...

WCAWW!

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 00:20

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi gavin.

I commend your honesty.

Your with friends here.
Don't worry about the money that's been lost. IT'S GONE.

Don't chase. IT'S GONE.

You can rebuild your life from NOW.

I've lost 100 grand pal, some people even more. But when it's not about the money anymore and it's debilitating your health and your lifestyle it's time to change.

Check into this diary every day, one of us will get back to you. Use the chat room, seek counselling.

Talk to me if you need to, talk to mix, Katie, ronda, any of us. We listen to each other and prop each other up.

Yes it's hard. I beat smoking after 14 years, never looked back. I could beat it, I did beat it.

As for gambling, it's a different animal. You need to have an unbreakable will to stop. I'm currently moving through mineral strengths, the longer I go without it, the stronger I get. 10 days for me tomorrow and I have will made of titanium.

I can beat it. I will beat it.
YOU can beat it too.

We CAN. and we WILL.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 08:15

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

Just a word of caution from the other side of the fence to suggest that treating a loved one in the very early days of recovery might not go down as well as you hope. Can't say I'd have been grateful for anything Mr L could have bought me at that time in fact given the level of debt he'd incurred behind my back he'd probably have ended up wearing it. The very best gift you could offer IME is complete honesty, transparency and reliability the effect of which won't be apparent for a while.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 08:30

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Thank you, Lethe, that is a very, very good point and any 'treats' must only be made only if the circumstances are exactly right. The recipient, as you say, may not take the gift too kindly for all sorts of reasons an example of which you have given in your post above. I am going to amend my previous post to make this absolutely clear.

Honesty, transparently, reliability - that, as you say, is the very best gift of all. 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 08:40

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Thank you Lethe. For me it has been the realisation that I am beginning to feel the need to lie to people I love, that has made me want to stop. I have never been able to lie...I don't want to become that person. Day 7 today.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 08:45

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Congratulations on hitting a week, Rhoda. Our group is immensely proud that you have hit this first milestone.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 09:19

PaulGam

Joined:
2016-11-24

Alright guys. Hope you don't mind me joining in.
Day 15 for me but it feels like day 1 all over again with that sinking feeling, I don't want to gamble and I won't, I have too much to lose.
As I said on my own thread, this morning my partner revealed that she doesn't trust me anymore and that she hasn't forgiven me for what has happened, I hope to God I can earn the trust back and appreciate it will take a while but this is like the 3rd/4th time I've had to make it up to her. My latest relapse is not as bad as the last but that's not the point. I have found myself lying to her alot lately which I hate doing and I'm just digging my own grave really. I've told her no more lies but she's heard it before, I'm not this person, I'm better, I know I am and hopefully she does too.
I want to be a better person all round and gambling and got me stuck in a rut but all is going well so far on that front, nice to know I'm not alone.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 10:19

KP82

Joined:
2016-12-03

Morning all.

Just a quick post as I have to head out.

Paul your doing great. I know that feeling too but it'll pass. Mixer, I love the idea of the roll call, you really are putting the effort into our page.

We are all here for the same reason. Come on guys, NO relapses, not even a £1 scratchcard!

We CAN and we WILL

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 11:07

Sillycow

Joined:
2016-12-09

Morning folks & a huge welcome to our new group members.....

It's only day 3 for me but I'm feeling more positive about being able to conquer this now that I realise I'm not alone.

A huge part of this terrible addiction is the lies we tell, both to others and to ourselves....to be able to be completely honest bout everything is such a relief...to express those feelings, to get them out can only help with our recovery, I feel so lucky to be part of this group and its given me such determination for the future, not only do I want to stop for myself but now I also want to stop for all of you lovely people, you give me strength.....and that is exactly what I need right now.....

Keep going my fellow groupies.....WCAWW!

M x

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 12:22

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

PaulGam - here's a thought. Think of the old you, the Paul that last gambled 15 days ago. Picture what you were gambling on, and throw both down into a pit of firey hell. Throw the lies, deciet and everything else down there. What's left is a new Paul, a refreshed, invigorated person, a phoenix rising from the ashes. This really is it Paul. Relapse is now a dirty word to you. You are NOT going to entertain that nonsense again. Enough, Paul - you can do this. And welcome aboard, great to have you join our group!

SC, thank you for a delightful post. You are exactly right - gambling brings with it all kinds of horrible character traits, such as lieing and deceit. NO MORE! It is all out in the open. You care, we care. We desperately want you to succeed!

KP - what can I say, my friend. You epitomise exactly what this is about. A gritty, 100% determination to shake this leeching parasite off forever. NO relapses. You got it!

We CAN, and we WILL.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 14:36

Pinky333

Joined:
2012-10-24

Just want to offer a hug and well wishes to all xxxx

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:06

Rogerson10

Joined:
2016-12-11

Tough day. All I'm thinking about is my losses and how much better things would be if I had resisted the urge. 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:12

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

GUEST POST TIME!

Fellow friends and non-gamblers in our great little group,

I've come across this post from Molehole, who, incidentally has not gambled for a long, long time. A success story! This was written at a time when he was finding it tough in the early days. Any comments?

Keep strong. WCAWW. Mixer

 

Hi,

I'm relieved to say I haven't gambled since my meltdown last month. But something occured to me last week which I'd like to share.

Addiction, in whatever form it takes, is truly awful because not only does it rot us from the inside out and destroy our sense of self, it is also very hard to get understanding, compassion, even sympathy, from those around us - especially from society in general that sees it as a weakness in character, a problem of our own making, or those who why try understand and offer such "helpful" advice as "Well, just don't do it!" ;)

Gambling is an especially nasty addiction because it's all in our own minds - there's no physical substance we inject or drink, no virus or pathogen that's infected our bodies. At least with cancer you get a visible sign of hair falling out through chemo! But I know we're not looking for sympathy. Understanding certainly.

I've just come back from a great holiday in Morocco. No betting shops, no mobile phone signal to bet online, no bars where I was staying as it's a Muslim country, no coke dealers on the street, etc. So physically no way for me to feed any of my addictions.

Did I think about gambling and having a drink? 

Hell YES!!!

Did I gamble or have a drink? 

Nope!

Why?

Because however much I wanted to... I physically couldn't!

My point being there's a valuable lesson here, (for me at least). When the urges strike, in a moment of weakness, any of us can give in, but if we physically don't have access to our poison of choice then the only damage we can do is to moan about it and ride it out.

So, if you realise you have a problem and want to do something about then Install Gamblock, K9 or any blocking software on your internet enabled devices. Buy a cheap non-internet accessible phone. Only ever carry a small amount of cash sufficient for your daily needs and hand over your cards to a trusted love one. 

I'm sitting here now feeling a strong urge to gamble. Luckily at the moment I feel positive in myself so my willpower is enough to not give in. But if later, after a few drinks, my willpower isn't enough - I literally don't have access to any funds except about £5 cash! Sure I'll ****** and moan about it in the moment, but when I wake up in the morning I'll feel a strong buzz of genuine excitement.

However much you want to gamble; if you physically can't then it's not an option.

Obvious point I guess, but one I'd never really acted upon before now. It works!! I read here about the triangle "Money-Time-Opportunity" - it's true, but can be reduced to just "Money!" - If you ain't got it, you can't spend it. I'm not suggesting we all move to Morroco, so we'll all have to come to terms with the fact that temptation is on every street corner, every webpage. But if we don't have access to the money, there's naff-all we can do to get sucked in.

Best

M

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi rogerson, Yep. Know the feeling. No time for tea and sympathy though (Sorry.) You know what to do. Which is TODAY. Please get to Day 2 :)

I'll do you a deal though; I'm a fair person. When you reach Day 100, I will give you all the tea and sympathy you need. You have my word. I'll even bring out the tears if you want. Deal? (I guarantee you, though, by then you will tell me to sling my hook - you won't want to indulge in all that self-pity then, I promise you.). 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:20

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Thanks for the hugs Angela (Pinky), and I notice you're on Day 2 -  brilliant! Keep going - the group needs you to be strong and you will feel so much stronger too!!!! WCAWW

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:37

Guestuser9

Joined:
Before 2009

Roger reaches out to you and you tell him to man up?
Mixer I think you're a decent bloke but I suggest you Google the word supporting each other.

Most of the people in this group are early on in recovery and urges are going to be thick and fast. And believe me at some point your all going to get some.
Talk to each other about them because if you hide the urge well we all know how that turns out
Deano

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:56

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Fair point Dean0, and I did mean it in a supportive way. However in retrospect, it may have sounded harsh. (Although I didn't tell him to "man up" exactly). So I apologise, Roger, if you've felt I've been a bit OTT. I've got to be honest, I'm new here and just finding my feet. I'm still working out my 'pitch'.

And if I get it wrong, I always stand to be corrected. So thank you, Dean0, for your timely intervention, nipping any comments that could be perceived as too harsh in the bud. Keeping pulling me up, mate, because it's the only way.

Roger - I so want you to stop! And can't wait to see you get to Day 1. And believe me... I warm up to everyone when they're on Day 1 and beyond :)

 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 15:58

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Yep ! Gotta agree with Deano there Mixer , Early stages my friend and sometimes people just need an arm around them and someone to reach out to ! .

Your enthusiasm's great and I'm not knocking that but not everything's as black and white as your painting it ,as you keep saying you have the willpower of " Kevlar " which is great news for you but not everyone's the same ? I just hope that Gambling never fires an " Armour piercing round " through your Kevlar suit otherwise you'll be looking for that arm of support yourself ?.

Alan  

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 16:02

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Agreed Alan, I can hold my hands up when I'm wrong, please refer to my post to Dean0. (Although it's my good friend KP82 who's made of Kevlar :) - and nothing wrong with that!). 

We all have our achilles heel(s) that the gambling bug has a way of worming its way into... and we need to be ready.

And we need to be ready for if any of us relapse... we are all human, even me (although I probably come across as a bit of a cold b-- at times - guilty as charged :)!).

Keep firing off the comments - brutal honesty is our trademark, and thank goodness for that.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 16:17

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Sorry mixer I'm old  , I thought it was you that had the "Magical suit " and KP had the " Nut's "  :)) ?  So I stand corrected as I once said to my "Podiatrist " :))

Have a good evening .

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 16:19

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

No worries, Alan. Although I might need to look one of those words up :) !

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