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Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 09:23

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

You're right Sharon, it does.
I had a lovely evening thank you, made even better with a lift there and back from my lovely kids (payback for the many lifts in mums taxi!!) Haha!
I realised this morning that when I got home last night I didn't think about gambling. I know I can't now because of gamban but it doesn't mean I don't think about it! Usually a Saturday night is a difficult night for me.
Anyway I'm just planning what to do with my day. Got a few jobs to do but might fit a walk around the park nearby in as well.
Seems a good day today, I'm counting my blessings.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 11:20

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I say lovely kids, they're by no means perfect but then again who is?!!
It just helps that when any problems arise I feel in a better position to help/deal with them and not feel like screaming 'I've got problems of my own you know - does anybody care about them??' Like I have felt like doing in my secretive gambling days past.
Gambling makes us selfish - yes but it also raises our stress levels, we're only human and there's only so much we can cope with.
Onwards and upwards. Happy Sunday everyone x

Posted on:
Tue, 30/01/2018 - 21:18

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

No one is perfect and yep we are all only human, we all have our own issues in different ways.

How’s your week going so far LML? Scott 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/01/2018 - 22:33

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Not too bad thanks Scott, just treading the boards on the usual hamster wheel!!
Payday tomorrow, seems like an age since my last one!
Looking forward to springtime and sunny days - (where that has thought come from? I don't know. My head jumps from one thing to another haha!!)
All good wishes - happy days! x

Posted on:
Sun, 04/02/2018 - 23:39

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello little one. Hope all is well with you....stephen. 

Posted on:
Mon, 05/02/2018 - 04:44

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, I'm OK thanks. Been daydreaming a bit, wishing I could up sticks, travel the world for a couple of months then come back to a house, job, family and money only to do it again 6 months later. Pretty hopeless dream but never say never!!
Not been on the site as much as usual. My head has been a bit full of personal problems. I never know whether I'm doing right or wrong. Decisions, decisions! The number of times I've wished I had a magic wand!!
Also family member having a bit of money trouble, which could easily be solved. If only i could be able to help like most other parents. Thanks to my stupid addiction, I have nothing and I've no means of being able to get anything. Ah well, feeling sorry for myself wont help!
It saddens me to see so many struggles on here. Why do some people seem to have it all and others have nothing?? I know it may be not all what it seems - blah blah blah but you know what I mean.
Anyway, enough moaning, better try and get some sleep. Up for work in an hour! X

Posted on:
Mon, 05/02/2018 - 11:24

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Little Miss Lot,

nothing wrong with not visiting the site as much when you have had a lot going on, just find some thinking space for yourself and try relax and stay upbeat where you can, hard I know as so many of us have lost so much due to this illness. All we can do is just keep fighting it.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 08:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss. Wishing you a happy sunday...stephen x

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 10:54

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Admittedly Magic Wands are a bit scarce on the ground but let's not ignore the power of positive thinking. I believe thoughts of healing and compassion can reverberate around the world but many people have dark thoughts which drown out the good vibes.

I am sending you angel dust with wishes that you have peace, contentment and wild wacky adventures...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 10:27

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss. Hope all is well.

Wishing you a jolly weekend...stephen x 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 12:25

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, had a busy, busy week. Not been on here much and when I do come on there's so many new posts to read I can't get through them all. This in turn makes me feel sad, knowing all these people are struggling yet still I feel like i want to gamble and fantasise on putting a lot of money on my favourite game - and that's even with my head screaming at me that I'm an idiot to think like that. Why the feelings won't go for me but do for others, I don't know. Maybe my mindset isn't as it should be still.
Anyway, I'm still here, still fighting, still not created any major good shakes in my life. Still hopeful that I can be strong enough to make changes that will lead to contentment and still searching for what those changes should be lol!
All good wishes for a wonderful weekend x

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 13:55

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hang in there Little Miss Wild & Wonderful.

I have been pestered today with thoughts of having a football bet but it is to be expected. The addiction will continue to paint a rosy picture of gambling but I know it leads to somewhere dark and scary.

Take care my friend and have a lovely weekend...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 19:43

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml just dropping by to say hi and thank you hope your good all the best x

Posted on:
Sun, 18/02/2018 - 17:36

gazza515

Joined:
2012-03-02

Hi and thanks for your post on my diary. Stay strong, it can be done. Best wishes, Gazza

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 15:06

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

I am in your situation now. I have lost a lot and after a few some days of gambling free, I am having a strong pull to go back on betting. How do you beat that urge?

Little miss lost wrote:
Hoping starting a diary will prevent me from gambling. I have previously stopped for three months and I think it was because I wanted to be able to tell my counsellor that I hadn't gambled week after week. Will it work if I have to write it in my diary day after day - I hope so. I'm 10 days gambling free and with each passing day I'm finding it more and more difficult. When you've had a big loss it's easier to stop gambling for a few days but then the stupid thoughts come back into my head telling me to have another go - maybe i'll be lucky this time. Thinking about the games I love to play and the buzz it gives me whilst playing is really a strong pull. I've just got to remember how distraught and desperate I feel when I've lost and hopefully this will stop me. I'll sign in again tomorrow. I must stay strong.

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 21:23

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

To be perfectly honest merlin, I always failed to beat the urge. I'd go a week or a month or even 3 months but in the end I always gave in.
I'd spend night after night thinking should I or shouldn't I? My head really wanting to, telling myself I'll only spend £20 but we all know we're just kidding ourselves. £20 became £200 and it wasn't even my money, it ended up been on credit cards.
I'd read books, take long baths, go out to visit friends and generally try to keep busy.
The only way that I am staying gamble free is because I downloaded gamban to my phone, even that hasn't taken away the urges but I know I can't get on any sites so it definitely helps. I just have to accept it now so I don't go back and forth in my head thinking shall I or shan't I because I know it's impossible.
I know it must be harder for those who use bookies or other means to gamble but fortunately for me it was just online.
Can I just say that for most people, strong measures have to be taken. For anyone reading don't be like me, poor willpower meant I got so much more in debt than I should have. It also helped me sharing my problem with my family even though that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was lucky, they have been brilliant.
I hope this helps and I wish you success and happiness.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 07:35

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

Thank you, Little miss, for sharing your thought and experience. I only bet online too and banned myself. Only that lately, I am wanting to have one last big bet and quitting betting.

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 11:07

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Merlins,

it's very hard to beat the urges when they are so strong and the urges do in the end make you gamble to just get a release from them. I don't know the answers as I only have strong urges now when I am down in the high street and I see the shops and I am in a bad mood, they are telling me to draw out £20 and go have some fun, I just have to walk on buy and get home asap.

You will decide ultimately what you want to do but hopefully you'll stay on the straight and narrow and keep your money in your pocket fella otherwise it'll all start up and take control again.

I wish you a peaceful day with less or no urges mate.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 11:29

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

Thank you, Wil. I was just thinking out loud and keeping things in perspective because it helps sometimes.

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 06:55

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss. Just wanted to wish you a good weekend...stephen 

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 09:17

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml how are you just wanted to say a big thank you for your supportive posts especially at the beginning when I can back with tail between my legs. Your support means a lot and hope I can return in some way. Best wishes lml X

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 13:48

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Woke up to what's now becoming my usual Saturday morning greeting from Stephen wishing me a good weekend, careful Stephen, I'll be starting to expect it! Haha!. Once again you made me smile so thank you and good wishes are returned along with happiness in abundance. (Not at a bun dance, but in abundance. I know what you're like with those dancing feet!) haha!
Lulubobs, I'm glad I was able to be there for you when you came back. I've been a bit quiet on here lately, only because I've been ďoing other things but I'm happy to see you seem to be managing well without me and getting lots of support from others.
I noticed you made double figures so well done for that. I know how difficult it is to achieve when you're in the vice-like grip so stand tall, be proud, give yourself a pat on the back and get out there and show the world what they've been missing!
Happy weekend and good wishes to all. x

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 22:58

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for the post on my diary Little Miss Young At Heart. 

You really brought a smile to my face picturing you and your grandson playing, singing and dancing. What a wonderful way to spend an evening.

Wishing you a great week ahead...stephen x 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 10:05

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml thanks do much for your kind post, yes had a super weekend! Feel a million miles away from how I felt at the beginning of last year. Admittedly I am not very patient but odaat is really the only way for me, whether it'S a good day, bad day etc as long as I get to bedtime GF that's all that matters. Take care and enjoy a GF day and beyond Sx

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 22:48

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Thanks stephen and sharon, lovely to get your messages of support, thanks for taking the time.
Well, I'm still here, battling on. I'll start with the negatives. I was chatting with my adult daughters who known about my gambling for a good few months now and they asked me if I was still wanting to gamble. I replied 'to be perfectly honest, yes I'd probably gamble tomorrow if I could.' My daughter then looked at me and said 'you must feel like you're two different people,'
There's the life you have made for yourself with gambling - the debts, upset, addiction and then there's the life you show to everyone, where you make out everything is fine, yes, you're short on funds but people think that its because of your mortgage/bills etc and things are just a bit tight. They wouldn't dream that you have the debts that you do!'
It did make me think and yes, I suppose she summed it up in a nutshell. I am living my life as two different people.
At the moment I'm beating myself up because once again I've been looking on you tube at my favourite slot been played and I've started to watch it before I go to sleep. Just like I used to do, only then I gambled proper when I went to bed.
Feeling totally [email protected] about the fact that I feel the need to do this. I know I should train my brain not to need it. As with all things to do with gambling I know what I should do but doing it is another matter. I'm just prolonging the agony keeping my brain tuned in to gambling, I know, I know. . . You don't have to tell me so please dont!
The good news is, I'm nearly 150 days gf! Yes it's an achievement because I haven't spent a penny but I don't feel good about it because of the fact I'm feeling the need to watch it on you tube. I must try to stop.
Another plus is that I've managed to have a little break. Only on a national holiday but it was an absolute bargain! 4 days bed, breakfast and evening meal £79! I had a really good trip but sitting in the bar on the evening (3 hours of 99p drinks - wine, beer, shorts etc!!) I got chatting to others of a similar age to me and they had retired or had an apartment abroad, or had just paid for their daughters wedding. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them what they had but It did bring back to me what a mess I'd made with my life. Then again look at the positives, I've got my family and my health, that counts for a hell of a lot.
Anyway, basically I managed to get away because I hadn't gambled for 4 months (kids helped out with a bit of Christmas prezzie money) but if I'd have still been gambling I'd have spent that online.
I do feel as though I've let myself down going on YouTube and I'm not saying it get people to respond, I'm just saying it because it's on my mind, it's feeling like I've got a secret again because nobody knows, that's not a good feeling, I need to get it out of my system. So two things that I need to do now - stop going on you tube and look for where I want to go for my next mini break lol!!
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 03:45

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml here’s hoping I can uplift you a bit my friend x regards watching on you tube, your still gf! Don’t pull yourself down because at end of day your not actually feeding money into the slot which you should be proud of yourself. You know though it’s not an ideal way to be but maybe it’s your way of ‘weening’ yourself off gambling. Don’t be too hard on yourself lml your not actually gambling. Could you find something else that interests you on You Tube? I watch a lot of history stuff, bit of an addict to the 14th/15th & 16th century period. Is there anything else that interests you? I’m with you lml, keep fighting you offer so much support, take some for yourself:) best of wishes my friend X lulu

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 10:57

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml lovely to hear you've had a break, recovery is so tiring and draining but a million times better than gambling but really saps it out of you. Don't beat yourself up as whatever keeps you GF is a help and hopefully you'l need what your doing less? Absolutely no disrespect to your family but unless you have been a gambler I think it's impossible to understand what thought processes happen and how addictive it is.I have always been drawn to arcades, slot machines etc and it literally took a mention of online bingo/slots and I was hooked. I feel so pathetic that I have been so sucked in but there are other issues that have contributed for sure. Sorry to blurb but you really are doing your best and every GF is a good day take care Sx

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 19:26

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi, thanks lulu and sharon for your kind words, it was lovely to hear from you, good to see your gf days building up too! We all know where we're coming from on here, I used to be one of those who couldn't understand how people could do such a thing as gamble, now I'll never pass comment on anything anyone does again because unfortunately I now know first hand how addictions work.
I had a bit of a shock tonight. I got an email showing my new statement from stepchange. I haven't bothered looking at it lately because I just pay a set amount a month which isn't much so I know that my balance won't change that much. Tonight I found my account number and checked my statement and saw that one of my debts had gone up by nearly £2000!
When I looked at previous statements it showed that it jumped up in November last year. I phoned stepchange but they're closed due to bad weather conditions. What a carry on. I hope I can get it sorted soon and I hope they've got it wrong although there most likely will probably be some valid reason for the increase. I'm never going to get the debts paid off at this rate. I might even have to think about an iva which I'm not sure is a good idea because I have equity in my house now.
I know they're my debts and I'm to blame for the mess I've got myself into but it really doesn't seem fair that others can get them written off if they don't own a property or work (I think that's the case, sorry if I'm wrong) I guess I'm just pickled off with seeing that extra chunk been added to my debt. I try not to think about what I owe, it gets me down if I do.
Ah well, these things are sent to try us!
Moan, moan, moan . . . that all i seem to do lately!
Note to self . . . Stop moaning and cheer up!!! Lol! X

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 18:34

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Re - read my post above and I apologise to anybody who I might of upset due to my rant. This addiction can affect anyone and the stress it causes treats us no differently - young or old, rich or poor.
Just a follow up. I've managed to get things sorted at stepchange. After a few phone calls it became clear that mistakes had been made and my debt was thankfully reduced.
Happy weekend to all x

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 08:05

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Hey LML, I’m glad you managed to sort things at Stepchange. 

Stay positive and keep yourself on the non gambling path. 

Dan x

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 15:01

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Thanks Dan, well I suppose I've no other option than to stay gambling free. I'm so much better with my health, patience, stress levels when I keep off the slots. I don't mind buying myself the odd treats like a take away, new top etc so why would I go back??
I never have much money but at least I always have enough for the essentials.
When I look back at myself at my lowest I wonder how I got through those days. I'd be a fool to go back to it. I must not give in. I like been able to get up in the morning and not have to think about how much I lost the night before - let's face it, I like just been able to sleep!
I like been able to look at myself in the mirror without hating myself.
I like been able to truthfully answer my girls when they ask if I've managed to stay gf. I like been able to have the odd treat.
That's a lot of likes so my life must be looking up because 6 months ago I couldn't have said them.
I must forget all the good that being gf brings. It's all too easy to take recovery for granted.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 21:29

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml glad Stepchange is ok! I've been on a dmp for 8 years which is shocking but I have buckled down and should be free a year  from now.  I have totally changed my relationship with money as before I thought nothing of gambling everything I had (and more) online bot wouldn't spend a tenner on myself in real life!! Hope you're having a good weekend take care S :) 

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 22:32

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Thanks Sandra and sharon. Your kind words are always appreciated.
To be honest Sandra, I haven't been gamble free for 6 months it's actually 150 days today so it's more like 5 months. I just used 6 months because I was being 'creative' again!! Haha!
Had to look back at my 'creative' swear words. Proof again that I'm 'little miss (not so) wild child'!! haha! I'm glad you're up and at it again. You can do it!
Sharon, you're a shining example. You know where we are now , you've been there and you've proved it can be done. I'm so happy that your life has improved for all of your hard work and efforts to remain gf. I'll be proud to follow in your footsteps.
All good wishes to everyone on this rocky path. Never give up. We deserve to give ourselves another chance because as from today, we are all worthy of a better life. x

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 23:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Little Miss Serendipity. 150 days since you last gambled. 

I am so proud of you and feel quite inspired by your continued good progress.

Always take care my friend and maintain that forward momentum. Respectfully yours with a big hug ...stephen  x

 

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 23:43

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Thanks Stephen, lovely words again.and hugs are always appreciated! Lol!
just read my text again that says we are all worthy of a better life.
Blimey, when you look around there are certainly lots of better lives out there. How people manage to get them goodness only knows? Risk takers? hard workers? Does it depends on who you know or what you know? Or is it they're just in the right place at the right time? I suppose there's the opposite as well. There's some people living in dire circumstances and my life is positively luxurious in comparison.
How does this happen? Do we really have any say in how our life is or is it all mapped out for us??
They say nothing changes if nothing changes. Does that mean for things to get better we must change which can take lots of effort on our part to make those changes or does fate play a hand? I suppose we've got to remember that all that glitters is not gold. What we see from the outside looking in can appear to be perfect but it can be far from it.
People who sit back and believe in whatever will be, will be, are they under achievers because they've not consciously put some effort in? Questions, questions. . .
At the moment, I'm still at the stage of being happy in a morning when I wake up and realise I haven't lost a penny the night before. A truly wonderful feeling compared to the many occasions when I have positively struggled to get myself out of bed because I had been up till 5am then lost any winnings I may have accumulated along with £500 off a credit card!
Onward and upward - slowly does it but the view is a lot better from up here. Come and join me. Look around , see all that's wonderful, special and precious and enjoy!!
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Wed, 14/03/2018 - 23:26

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Little Miss Philosophical. Hope your happy and well.

Loved your last post which I have read several times over the past week. Quite thought provoking and led me to re-evaluate some of my preconceived ideas, passions and prejudices.

Whatever ups and downs we might experience in life,  it is good to wake up in a morning gamble free...stephen x 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/03/2018 - 21:25

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

 

Hey LML,

That last paragraph you wrote was lovely to read. Onwards and upwards indeed. I have always liked reading your story because of your incredible honesty and frankness. Don’t change that as you really do see the full picture of your journey, the good and bad moments and the thoughts that ring true for many others on here I am sure. We can see parts of ourselves echoed throughout your writings too and it helps in feeling like we are not alone. You have been GF for a long time now and as you say - you can afford little treats and don’t wake up with the huge guilt and terrible financial situations that you used to find yourself in. I am very pleased that the increase in debt you mentioned was a mistake as that did seem a large increase. 

Hope you have a lovely weekend, Scott 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 18/03/2018 - 13:37

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hello all,
I'm still here, and happy to report that I'm still keeping off the slots.
I've not written on here for a while. I've dropped in and out but it's upsetting to see so many new people joining, all struggling, but at the moment I don't feel able to help - strange but I'll just have to go with it.
I'm still finding things a bit difficult. It upsets me to know that deep down I still yearn for the thrill of the slots. I wish it would go away but no, it's still lurking, waiting to catch me out. Thank goodness I can't gamble on my phone now because I know that I would have given in if I could.
Thank you Stephen and Scott for your kind words. I understand what you're saying with regards to writing warts and all. It is good to know others are going through similar things to ourselves and we're not alone in our sometimes 'disturbing' thoughts. I love it when someone writes 'we are not bad people, we have just lost our way a bit and it could happen to anyone. . . We can recover from this . . .' I remember that when I was at desperation point and at my lowest this is what I needed to read. Hearing someone say those words to me when I couldn't possibly bring myself to believe it because I felt so scared that I would feel and be like this for the rest of my life was a godsend. Knowing that people had also felt like this but managed to escape from the shackles of gambling was so good to know - hearing that no matter how much of a mess we have got ourselves into, there is hope and with help, recovery is possible. Yes, the debts don't just disappear but we learn to deal with them. The hard bit is facing up to them, admitting them and asking the likes of stepchange to help us get ourselves back on track again. It's a hard task to face but it is so worth it because our metal health takes a massive battering with this addiction.
We must keep battling, my life, mental health, self-worth is improving. Long may it continue. Sending strength to all who need it, you are not alone. There is help out there if you need it. There is no disgrace in falling into the trap of this awful addiction. We are just the unlucky ones. It's time to turn things around, seek help, accept our losses because deep down we know we will never win because we cannot stop, only then will our luck will change.
Good wishes to all - we are all worthy. x

Posted on:
Sun, 18/03/2018 - 14:19

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml great post and inspirational, I felt that way too disgusted and ashamed of myself for being an addict to gambling but like that person said we aren’t bad ppl. Sorry to hear you still get a pull towards slots but so happy your gf. It’s a very very tough addiction. I think I’ll always think about the things but hopefully it’ll be lot less than now. Yes debts the one thing that always reminds us doesn’t it but at least now we aren’t getting into any more debt and it can only get better staying gf. I know what you mean about so many new ppl it’s upset me too and like you want to help but I’m not in right place yet. Glad your ok lml bestest of wishes Lulu x

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 11:55

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi LML great post yesterday, can relate to so many things...Other peoples kindness and encouragement have definitely kept me going in dark times. Your right debts don't just disappear but like you I have them controlled and once my monthly payment goes out I try not to let them worry me. I also feel for new members and others struggling, such an awful addiction to fight. Hope you have a good GF day take care S:) 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/03/2018 - 17:26

Matt 24

Joined:
2012-04-25

HI LML

Just a quick note to say hello and that I am happy to read you are still keeping strong. When thinking of the thrill try and remember the utter despair of the loss because that is th eonly guarantee when we gamble....we lose.

Stay strong and thanks for all your kind words on my diary they helped me at some very low points in my life.

Matt

Posted on:
Sat, 24/03/2018 - 07:15

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Lovely to receive the above posts - thankyou.
Lulu and Sharon. We are so similar in many ways and share many of the same struggles. Through voicing and sharing our struggles together on here I'm hoping that we can all travel down the right path and share our joy at being gamble free too! We must be in control of our own destiny and we must not let a money grabbing, heart breaking, soul stealing addiction rule our lives.

Matt. I've said it before and no doubt I'll say it again. If very there was a diary to read for anyone starting out on here it's yours.
In the early days my heart went out to you. You were hurting big style and the pain was there for us all to see. I'm so very happy that your strength of character (and your many wonderful friends!) pulled you through and has got you to where you are now. Loving life.
I'll keep battling. My mental resolve isn't where i want it to be and the blocks on my phone are a life saver at the moment but I suppose we are all different. As long as I stay gamble free, life has to be good.
All good wishes xx

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 12:44

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss Magnificent I have been reading your posts and have come to the conclusion that you are an absolutely treasure. I love reading all your posts but was deeply moved by your contribution last Sunday. 

It takes much courage to examine our thoughts, feelings and emotions. However, this is not to be confused with dwelling moodily on our mistakes and misfortunes. I often reflect on what I should or shouldn't be thinking or doing but I do it in a haphazard way and I get lost in my own thoughts.

You on the other hand seem to have a constructive and methodical approach to addiction and recovery. Maybe this is aided by your teacher training and life skills.

1/ You have identified the enemy with whom you must either do battle or ignore. Both strategies can work.

2/ You have carried out  Risk Assessments which identify the dangers you are faced with.

3/ With regard to your everyday life, family matters and social interactions you have devised Codes Of Practice which signpost the way forward.

Wishing you contentment, happy days and good adventures...stephen x 

 

4/ 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 23:21

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Well Stephen, I'm flattered by your lovely words and time spent in evaluating my diary.
I must admit, I never set out to write as long a posts as I do but once I start writing the words just seem to keep flowing!
It's quite therapeutic to write them down, I feel once I've said it , I can let it go and it makes it feel more real. When I re-read some of the things I've written I can't understand why I should still feel the need to want to gamble. I can talk the talk, I know that to succeed I need to walk the walk so why do I keep wanting to trip myself up!! It baffles me!
Anyway, peace and happiness to anyone who's struggling at the moment. You can make things better if you really want to. Don't beat yourself up, sit down with a cuppa and a pen and paper. Write where you want to be (even if it's just to get through 1 gamble free day) and what you have to do to get there. You don't have to do everything now, take it one step at a time. Think, today I will do this, tomorrow I will do that. Just getting some self-control back into your life can make you feel so much better. Get yourself on the road to recovery and don't look back!
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Mon, 26/03/2018 - 13:22

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Little Miss Magnanimous. Thank you so much for your post on my diary, just what I needed to brighten up the day.

Loved your last post. I also find it therapeutic to tip my thoughts out onto a piece of paper or even better, onto my diary. By releasing thoughts and feelings I can look at them more objectively and hopefully find constructive answers to mindblowing questions.

I have taken on board your advice regarding my bank card. It is going to be wrapped in a piece of paper on which is written the names of friends like yourself who are my rock as I do battle with the addiction. I say do battle but in fact, I intend to ignore the urges to gamble and treat the addiction with the contempt it deserves.

Wishing you a good week...stephen x 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/03/2018 - 21:56

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Great to hear Stephen, I've no doubts that you can succeed.
Enjoy a wonderful break - you deserve it! x

Posted on:
Thu, 29/03/2018 - 18:41

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hi, thank you for your kind words, I’m glad your still gf and I know it’s hard but I believe you can and will stay gf and if I can inspire anyone to stay gf I will have the biggest smile on my face and a big fist to mr g!  Look forward never back, don’t dwell on the losses but think of the money your saving no matter how small, every penny in your pocket is a penny the evil industry doesn’t get. Embrace each day, love and cherish your family and friends.  Best wishes and all the strength in the world to you x x 

Posted on:
Thu, 29/03/2018 - 21:57

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Happy Easter Little Miss Meticulous.

Attention to the finer things in life can bring us joy and destract us from negative thoughts.

Wishing you happy days, contentment and fun. x (Easter Hug)

Posted on:
Fri, 30/03/2018 - 11:30

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml I find your posts really helpful! I havent posted much lately and have become a bit lazy(still gf though) Indeed one step at a time is the only way, if I think realistically I can't undo 5 years of gambling overnight. Hope you have a great weekend S:)

Posted on:
Fri, 30/03/2018 - 19:01

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml just want to wish you a very happy Easter gf lots bestest wishes x Lulu x

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