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Posted on:
Sat, 20/01/2018 - 22:57

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Wishing you well " Little Miss Everything Looks Bigger". Ha ha your not on your own, mine looks different as well, think the writings more distinct, or bigger or somethings not quite the same. 

Your well setled in the Century Club now. Great progress, good attitude and great sense of humour. Keep going forward at a steady pace and you will be just fine. We have the knowledge, the courage and the will, so let's do this.

Gambling is not our friend and never has been. The addiction will tell us otherwise but we know better now. 

I wish I'd had a teaching assistant at school. All my teachers seemed to be lacking in interest and enthusiasm. My French teacher used to call me an imbecile, needless to say I didn't amount to much.

On waking last sunday you were not the jolliest bunny in the world. How about tomorrow morning you jump out bed, throw your arms in the air and shout What A Lovely Day..... I will be listening out.

Take care ...stephen x 

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 01:04

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Scott, thanks for your time. I'm paying towards my dmp each month but I can only afford just over £50 so It doesn't go down that much or very quick seen as I'd stupidly got myself into over £20,000 of debt (who me??? The girl who'd never had a bank loan and panicked if I slipped into my overdraft!!!). I also pay my brother money back each month. I suppose every month sees my debts going the right way - down, so I mustn't grumble. I know for a fact if I carried on gambling it would just be on the up and up
Stephen (ooh listen at me - first name terms! Haha!) Thanks for your post. You always make me smile! I hope the children at my school don't talk about me in later life like you talk about yours! At least I can honestly say that whilst I'm at work I can put all my troubles behind me because I don't have a minute to think about them!
The kids can drive me mad but at the same time they can make me laugh out loud. Unfortunately , Some of them have many struggles, how can I compare my problems to some of the ones they have to deal with at such a young age? I sometimes, in my darker moments have to remember this.
Anyway, I better get some sleep seen as I've got a job to do in the morning. I'm glad you said shout and not sing, I haven't the sweetest of voices haha! By the way Stephen . . . If I shout very loud you very nearly could hear me. It depends if you're red and white or black and white!! I'll say no more. . .
Nightee night x

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 10:56

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Well, I'm happy to say I feel in a better place this morning than I did last Sunday. What's different?? (Other than following Stephens advice above! haha!) Nothing really, just my thoughts. Amazing how our own thoughts can be responsible for the way we feel. How we sometimes forget that we have to control our thoughts and not have our thoughts control us. Yes, outside factors have to be taken into account but it is how we deal with whatever is thrown at us which ultimately leads to how we are feeling emotionally.
At the moment I'm struggling a bit, especially at work. I'm just going to have to face up to the challenges and get on with it otherwise I could drag myself down and it's not how I want to feel. I want to be happy with my lot because I know I'm lucky, I have a lot to be happy about.
Here I go, waffling again . . . Thank you diary, you help me along and enable me to speak some of my thoughts. As some say, it's better to get them out than have them festering inside.
Happy Sunday everyone. May we all have the strength to cope with our worries, overcome our self -doubt and feel happier for doing so x

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 18:31

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Little Miss Contemplative. I liked the following lines from your last post which says so much in just a few words : 

1/ " We have to control our thoughts and not have our thoughts control us ." 

2/ " Outside factors have to be taken into account but it is how we deal with whatever is thrown at us which ultimately leads to how we are feeling emotionally."

It has been bleak and blustery in the northeast of England today. I live in a little coastal community called Hull on the banks of the River Humber where sleet and cold northerly winds have been blowing. 

I have noticed that some of the diaries belong to friends from overseas. I'm guessing you are a teaching assistant in Rio and enjoy lazing around Copacabana beach or maybe you are basking in the sun in Surfers Paradise.

I don't think the gambling addiction is too fussy about who and where it's victims come from. People are drawn from all over the place, young, old, rich, poor, it doesn't discriminate. Gambling addiction promotes equal opportunity amongst tortured souls drawn in by this demonic tyrant.

Take care. Wishing you well over the coming week..stephen 

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 18:53

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

Glad to hear you feeling a bit more positive LML, you deserve all the happiness you can get. We really do have a lot of thought pain that’s for sure, we can create worlds of misery inside our heads when in the outside there isn’t really anything that intrinsically is making us suffer, it’s all mental thought pain. That’s not to diminish the effect on us, but it is worth noting. Scott

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 22:48

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Haha! Stephen, you do make me laugh. Maybe you missed my hint towards the bottom of my post #453.
I've never heard of the Humber being referred to as Copacabana beach or Surfers paradise!
Sounds like your English/writing class is paying off, judging by your use of descriptive language to the bottom of my post #455!
Scott - thanks for your comments. You're doing so well. Keep battling on, we all have different experiences through gambling but we're all hoping for the same outcome, (to quote Stephen) to be 'tortured souls' no more. We need to be kinder to ourselves. We can do this, 'cos we're worth it!! x

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 23:28

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse !!!

Posted on:
Sun, 21/01/2018 - 23:42

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml glad you're ok, indeed it's amazing how you can do your own head in (I do this frequently ) I'd say in the 1st 100-150 days of not gambling I swear I didn't know who I was in anyway,  But now I try and keep things reasonably simple...ish lol.A friend who has had mental health issues said recently 'thoughts come and go through our heads but we don't have to act on them,  we can just let them go' a bit random but true! Here's to another GF week, month, year and beyond. Take care Sx

 

Posted on:
Mon, 22/01/2018 - 13:39

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Reading the last two posts brings home to me the power of our thoughts.

Little Miss Lost wrote : "Our thoughts can be responsible for the way we feel. How we sometimes forget that we have to control our thoughts and not have our thoughts control us."

A friend of Sharon  said : "Thoughts come and go through our heads but we don't have to act on them, we can just let them go."

A problem we have as compulsive gamblers is ridding our minds of unwanted thoughts of gambling. Now and then these thoughts will undoubtedly come into our heads. If they are ignored they might move on, but if they are allowed to get their feet under the table, than they don't want to go.

We can't function without thoughts, every action starts off as a thought. Maybe we need to employ 'Thought Police' to check the credentials of incoming thoughts. That might seem improbable but a well known meditation involves sitting quietly whilst observing our thoughts coming and going.

Like society has good and bad so our minds also have good and bad . We have to just juggle it about and get on with it. If a member of society behaves badly than he or she is banished and we must do likewise with our destructive thoughts.

Well my plan is to live each day with positive thoughts, a belly full of hope and a smile on my face....As Captain Sparrow said : "What could possibly go wrong?"

Posted on:
Fri, 26/01/2018 - 23:30

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi all, thanks sharon and abstainer, once again, for your messages and thoughts.
I haven't been posting on here for a few days but I have still been looking in. I can only usually look in on an evening and to be honest it takes a fair while to catch up with people's posts, let alone post myself.
Unfortunately, there are many out there who I think I'll send them a message, either because they do not get an actual response from other members and I don't want them to think they're alone or its because their story resonates with me. Most times, I just don't have the time to respond and I regularly doze off halfway through writing a post, my eyes just won't stay open!
To all out there who feel alone in their struggles. There are others who are reading your diary and sharing this journey with you.
Please keep posting if it helps you to focus and stay on the right path. We are all in this together.
Never think no-one cares if you don't get a response because we do and what you write could help many others to understand what they are going through and not feel alone.
Happy weekend to all x

Posted on:
Sat, 27/01/2018 - 09:50

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

That’s a lovely sentiment LML, great thoughts. I also do the same in that regard. How are you feeling this week? How’s it been? Scott

Posted on:
Sat, 27/01/2018 - 17:53

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Scott,
bit of a mixed bag this week but can't complain.
Just when I was letting work get on top of me I received great feedback for what I do. Call me fickle but it's amazing how it picks you up.
I suppose it applies to all areas of our oh so busy lives. An unexpected well done or thank you does wonders for most. Doesn't have to be any grand gesture. It's just that sometimes people/loved ones can be taken for granted and a simple thankyou or message of appreciation can lift the spirits - fellas - a little bunch of unexpected flowers wouldn't go amiss - haha!!
Ah well, seeing my friend tonight, going for an Indian meal. Used to be unheard of, would rather be sat in bed losing on the slots. I feel no guilt treating myself every now and then - I'm worth it lol!! Xx

Posted on:
Sat, 27/01/2018 - 22:40

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Lml, you are no way fickle! Praise where it's due. Gambling seems to such us dry of positives including selfworth and confidence.Hope you had a nice meal, you're worth it Sx 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 09:23

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

You're right Sharon, it does.
I had a lovely evening thank you, made even better with a lift there and back from my lovely kids (payback for the many lifts in mums taxi!!) Haha!
I realised this morning that when I got home last night I didn't think about gambling. I know I can't now because of gamban but it doesn't mean I don't think about it! Usually a Saturday night is a difficult night for me.
Anyway I'm just planning what to do with my day. Got a few jobs to do but might fit a walk around the park nearby in as well.
Seems a good day today, I'm counting my blessings.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Sun, 28/01/2018 - 11:20

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I say lovely kids, they're by no means perfect but then again who is?!!
It just helps that when any problems arise I feel in a better position to help/deal with them and not feel like screaming 'I've got problems of my own you know - does anybody care about them??' Like I have felt like doing in my secretive gambling days past.
Gambling makes us selfish - yes but it also raises our stress levels, we're only human and there's only so much we can cope with.
Onwards and upwards. Happy Sunday everyone x

Posted on:
Tue, 30/01/2018 - 21:18

Scotto85g

Joined:
2018-01-01

No one is perfect and yep we are all only human, we all have our own issues in different ways.

How’s your week going so far LML? Scott 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/01/2018 - 22:33

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Not too bad thanks Scott, just treading the boards on the usual hamster wheel!!
Payday tomorrow, seems like an age since my last one!
Looking forward to springtime and sunny days - (where that has thought come from? I don't know. My head jumps from one thing to another haha!!)
All good wishes - happy days! x

Posted on:
Sun, 04/02/2018 - 23:39

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello little one. Hope all is well with you....stephen. 

Posted on:
Mon, 05/02/2018 - 04:44

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, I'm OK thanks. Been daydreaming a bit, wishing I could up sticks, travel the world for a couple of months then come back to a house, job, family and money only to do it again 6 months later. Pretty hopeless dream but never say never!!
Not been on the site as much as usual. My head has been a bit full of personal problems. I never know whether I'm doing right or wrong. Decisions, decisions! The number of times I've wished I had a magic wand!!
Also family member having a bit of money trouble, which could easily be solved. If only i could be able to help like most other parents. Thanks to my stupid addiction, I have nothing and I've no means of being able to get anything. Ah well, feeling sorry for myself wont help!
It saddens me to see so many struggles on here. Why do some people seem to have it all and others have nothing?? I know it may be not all what it seems - blah blah blah but you know what I mean.
Anyway, enough moaning, better try and get some sleep. Up for work in an hour! X

Posted on:
Mon, 05/02/2018 - 11:24

Wilsy

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Little Miss Lot,

nothing wrong with not visiting the site as much when you have had a lot going on, just find some thinking space for yourself and try relax and stay upbeat where you can, hard I know as so many of us have lost so much due to this illness. All we can do is just keep fighting it.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 08:42

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss. Wishing you a happy sunday...stephen x

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 10:54

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Admittedly Magic Wands are a bit scarce on the ground but let's not ignore the power of positive thinking. I believe thoughts of healing and compassion can reverberate around the world but many people have dark thoughts which drown out the good vibes.

I am sending you angel dust with wishes that you have peace, contentment and wild wacky adventures...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 11/02/2018 - 13:11

*.

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi lil wild child ☺

 

Good to see you bouncing around the forum and offering support/ advice!

 

Look after yourself and keep making the right choice - you're doing incredibly well!

 

S&B xx

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 10:27

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Little Miss. Hope all is well.

Wishing you a jolly weekend...stephen x 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 12:25

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, had a busy, busy week. Not been on here much and when I do come on there's so many new posts to read I can't get through them all. This in turn makes me feel sad, knowing all these people are struggling yet still I feel like i want to gamble and fantasise on putting a lot of money on my favourite game - and that's even with my head screaming at me that I'm an idiot to think like that. Why the feelings won't go for me but do for others, I don't know. Maybe my mindset isn't as it should be still.
Anyway, I'm still here, still fighting, still not created any major good shakes in my life. Still hopeful that I can be strong enough to make changes that will lead to contentment and still searching for what those changes should be lol!
All good wishes for a wonderful weekend x

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 13:55

Stephen the Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hang in there Little Miss Wild & Wonderful.

I have been pestered today with thoughts of having a football bet but it is to be expected. The addiction will continue to paint a rosy picture of gambling but I know it leads to somewhere dark and scary.

Take care my friend and have a lovely weekend...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 19:43

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml just dropping by to say hi and thank you hope your good all the best x

Posted on:
Sun, 18/02/2018 - 17:36

gazza515

Joined:
2012-03-02

Hi and thanks for your post on my diary. Stay strong, it can be done. Best wishes, Gazza

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 15:06

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

I am in your situation now. I have lost a lot and after a few some days of gambling free, I am having a strong pull to go back on betting. How do you beat that urge?

Little miss lost wrote:
Hoping starting a diary will prevent me from gambling. I have previously stopped for three months and I think it was because I wanted to be able to tell my counsellor that I hadn't gambled week after week. Will it work if I have to write it in my diary day after day - I hope so. I'm 10 days gambling free and with each passing day I'm finding it more and more difficult. When you've had a big loss it's easier to stop gambling for a few days but then the stupid thoughts come back into my head telling me to have another go - maybe i'll be lucky this time. Thinking about the games I love to play and the buzz it gives me whilst playing is really a strong pull. I've just got to remember how distraught and desperate I feel when I've lost and hopefully this will stop me. I'll sign in again tomorrow. I must stay strong.

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 21:23

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

To be perfectly honest merlin, I always failed to beat the urge. I'd go a week or a month or even 3 months but in the end I always gave in.
I'd spend night after night thinking should I or shouldn't I? My head really wanting to, telling myself I'll only spend £20 but we all know we're just kidding ourselves. £20 became £200 and it wasn't even my money, it ended up been on credit cards.
I'd read books, take long baths, go out to visit friends and generally try to keep busy.
The only way that I am staying gamble free is because I downloaded gamban to my phone, even that hasn't taken away the urges but I know I can't get on any sites so it definitely helps. I just have to accept it now so I don't go back and forth in my head thinking shall I or shan't I because I know it's impossible.
I know it must be harder for those who use bookies or other means to gamble but fortunately for me it was just online.
Can I just say that for most people, strong measures have to be taken. For anyone reading don't be like me, poor willpower meant I got so much more in debt than I should have. It also helped me sharing my problem with my family even though that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was lucky, they have been brilliant.
I hope this helps and I wish you success and happiness.
All good wishes x

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 07:35

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

Thank you, Little miss, for sharing your thought and experience. I only bet online too and banned myself. Only that lately, I am wanting to have one last big bet and quitting betting.

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 11:07

Wilsy

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Merlins,

it's very hard to beat the urges when they are so strong and the urges do in the end make you gamble to just get a release from them. I don't know the answers as I only have strong urges now when I am down in the high street and I see the shops and I am in a bad mood, they are telling me to draw out £20 and go have some fun, I just have to walk on buy and get home asap.

You will decide ultimately what you want to do but hopefully you'll stay on the straight and narrow and keep your money in your pocket fella otherwise it'll all start up and take control again.

I wish you a peaceful day with less or no urges mate.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 11:29

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

Thank you, Wil. I was just thinking out loud and keeping things in perspective because it helps sometimes.

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