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Unruly Behavior

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 04:23

sadipeterson123

Joined:
2018-06-25

Notably, for the married couples where the relationship does not only focus on themselves but the other aspects of life such as financial stability, behavioral aspect and having disorders. 

 

Maybe this is a rare case to discuss, cause basically, I'm talking to my wife and its mostly about her addictive sensation to gambling. She already said that on our marriage all of the negative issues upon so would be a dust on the air. For fresh years it went well, we nurture all the happenings and activities that could help and give progress on our relationship. Since I've got a good job position in our company, and for me, I guess I could do all the works for the benefit of the two of us. We even have a deep conversation through this and it ended up for an agreement that if she got bored only doing household chores, she will definitely continue her past job. Unfortunately, she was oppositely got the feeling and instead enjoy most of her time, did shopping, traveled all the time and paid someone to look for the house and most of all, every other night she visits the casino. And for now, we've got all the problems on our bills and payments. And I feel deeply unorganized and miserable for the current time.

 

Should I need to consult with a marriage counselor to determine if the only way to solve the conflict is to be separated from each other and decide to proceed with a legal divorce?

 

Most comprehend to open topics and ideas. Thanks for the time guys!

Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 07:35

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi sadiepeterson! Welcome. If my understanding is correct your wife is gambling all the money you are giving her to look after the house and bills? If that's the case you need to stop giving her money. Take over the finances and pay the bills yourself. Seek help from Gamanon meetings or gamcare. Her gambling is out of your control. She will stop when she runs out of money or admits the problem. For now do what you can control which is her access to money.

Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:33

Cynical wife

Joined:
2015-06-23

Sorry to hear what’s happening, best advice is to start regular GamAnon meetings and also CoDA meetings to learn how to manage life with someone else’s addiction. No overnight miracles are on offer, it’s about learning to live a better life and it works if you work it, long term.

After you have some recovery time under your own belt, it will become clearer to you as to whether what’s on offer for you in this relationship is good enough for you. Then you will be in a position to make the best decisions for you from a position of strength.

CW

Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 19:02

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello sadipeterson123

Living with someone who has a gambling problem can put great strain on the relationship. I am sorry to hear you feel deeply unorganised and miserable it sounds very difficult for you at the current time. Gamcare has a freephone helpline where you can speak with an adviser and they will listen to your concerns and can give you information and support in this difficcult situation.   

The freephone helpline contact number is 0808 8020 133 and you can also speak with an adviser through our Netlinehttp://www.gamcare.org.uk/frontline-services/netline

Please also see here for some guidance as how you can get some support for yourself.http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/partners-friends-and-family

Keep posting we are here to support you.

Kind Regards

Forum admin