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This is tough...

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 08:55

Anon1996

Joined:
2018-07-04

 

Morning all,  21 year old and ready to admit I have a serious problem.  I dont really mind if no-one pays attention to this but I feel like getting this off my chest will help me as i have yet to tell anyone about this issue. Around 3 years ago when I was 18 I was diagnosed with depression. It was bad and would often find myself in a very comatose state in which I wouldnt care about anything/anyone. This slowly started to improve over time with medication and regular councilling sessions and i started to make ahead. I got a 'okay' paying job but is long hours shift work and becomes very stressful at times. During these times is when i would turn to online casinos to just forget about things, it started rather innocently (being young and all) i would always see adverts for these sites and thought what the hell, £50 wont hurt.WELL. 3 years later and i have less to show for myself than when i was in a dark place in my life, and i had nothing. I have lost most of what i had managed to save for my first home with my girlfriend, i understand now that the money is gone, i cant change that, its on me. I really want/need to fix myself as ive now started my old medication again as i feel the dark creeping ever closer. I dont ever know how im going to speak to my family about this, they will  be so dissapointed. I have purchased gamban and today should will mark my first day GF even if this urge is killing me. 

 

Sorry for this wall of text, just feels good getting this all off my chest. Thanks.

 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 04/07/2018 - 11:31

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Anon1996,

Welcome to the Forum!

I am glad that you have started to get this off your chest by posting here and I hope that you will find much support on this Forum.

It has been a difficult journey for you over the past few years and you clearly have learned a lot. You know that you can help yourself and you also have a good idea of what is helpful to you. You say that you are on medication again as you felt old difficulties returning and that you have started to install gamban to cut yourself off access to gambling sites online.

These are all good first steps and considering that you say you have started to hit a low with depression, you are doing very well.

Keep going. Maybe this would be a good time to talk to your family/girlfriend about what is going on. We often think that others will be disappointed in us, because we feel disappointed in ourselves. Often, others find it a relief to be trusted with a problem and to be able to offer their support. For example, someone may be able to look after your money for a while as long as you do not trust yourself with managing your own money.

If you have not done so, do feel free to call us on the HelpLine on 0808 80 20 133 to discuss other strategies you can implement and other support available to you, like counselling. You can also reach us via online chat here https://www.gamcare.org.uk/frontline-services/netline

Both services are open from 8 am to midnight every day.

Lastly, I have moved this thread to the New Members section of the Forum as you have just joined us, hope that´s OK.

All the very best and much strength to you!

Kind wishes

Gabriele