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tomorrow is a new day

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 20:41

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

I need to do this.

gambled approx 3k this week on online slots.

noone knows. 

i can and will do this

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 09:09

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Today is day 1, day one of my gamble free journey. Each day at a time, I have lots to focus on to keep busy, and I feel this forum will help a great deal. Having people I can talk to, people who understand.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:25

Stephen 67

Joined:
2017-05-10

Welcome to the diaries Emel. Great to have you here amongst us and ready to do battle. We are stronger going forward together. Here you can find support and friendly advice.

This is a war. The compulsion to gamble is very hard to overcome but many do succeed. Courage is needed and we have to be brave and strong. The addiction will throw everything at us, it will try to frighten and confuse by feeding us doubts and delusions. Every day though is only 24 hours and every day is another battle won.

Wishing you well...stephen 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:28

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Thanks Stephen. 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:29

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Hi Emel, thank you for posting and sharing. We are all in the same position, but we all want to help each other. It is great seeing each morning and afternoon that people who are suffering as i am, are able to stop the gambling. It gives me great strength. I use my diary as a creative outlet for me, but I also put on there what my counsellor has been telling me and what we have been workign through. I am aware that not everyone has the ability to go to one to one counselling.

Take care, get through today in small steps. Get to lunch, get to mid afternoon, get to the end of the working day. We can beat this.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 11:38

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

 

Hi burko, yes we can beat it. Its amazing (if thats the right word) that so many people are in the same situation. I would never gamble £100’s or £1000’s of hard physical cash but when online its like its not real money, the only way I can describe it. I did so well for a long time possibly over a year, but a friend won £10k online and i thought wow maybe i can win that too, and redeem previous losses. What a clown, then another friend won about £3000, and yep i had those same thoughts again. I think what i could have done with the money I have gambled over the years. What I could have treated the family too. However those days are gone!! My husband knows nothing of my gambling, or my debt. I cannot tell him due to previous circumstances. It would destroy him, and possibly us. I was doing really well and all debt was 0% but ive since used a credit card (as always) and its got a few thousand on it. I think I can be debt free in about 18 months. If it takes longer I really dont mind. I truly believe having this forum and the support of you lovely folks will help. Its crazy how this is an addiction that cannot be seen, and is so very easy to hide. And I dont think it is as understood.

Onwards and upwards! 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 13:34

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Good luck on your journey, you will feel very up and down like the rest of us but I have full faith and confidence that you can do this and change your life for the better.

Will check in when I can

Wilsy

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 13:55

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Take it one day at a time, Emel. 

By not gambling today, you’re winning the battle. 

It can be hard at times, like Wilsy says, but you’re not damaging yourself further by not gambling. 

Every morning you wake up without gambling the previous day, should be celebrated. 

It is celebrated, by each and every one of us on here. 

I raise a glass to myself both at the start and at the end of the day.

Keep fighting those urges and keep posting on your diary. You’re sure to get plenty of support. 

Dan x

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 17:49

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Thanks for everyones messages of support. I am ashamed to admit I have fell off the horse, already, feel so down and dissapointed in myself. I feel like i will be trapped forever. feeling very low just now. however I did stop, and didnt feed the account any more money. I have now self excluded, and asked for it to be indefinite. Theres not many sites I can play on having previously self excluded. how stupid can i be.

I feel better for having admitted it here, than pretending it hasnt happened. I guess tomorrow really is a new day.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 18:09

Cookie12

Joined:
2018-02-19

New day Emel.im 14 days free but have a very similar story.i hope to be debt free in 3 years.we can and will do this.i plan to come on to site each day to remind me that there is a good life waiting for me .

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 18:12

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Keep your chin up, Emel. 

Let’s try an make this your last day 1. You can do this. Set yourself small manageable targets. Hour by hour if you have to. Make it your mission to get through to the end of the day. 

Keep updating your diary with your thoughts and whenever you do get any urges, take 30 seconds out to rethink those urges. 

A gamble free life is there for the taking. It’s up to you now, Emel. 

You can do this! Make yourself a success story :)

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 18:18

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Cookie12 wrote:
New day Emel.im 14 days free but have a very similar story.i hope to be debt free in 3 years.we can and will do this.i plan to come on to site each day to remind me that there is a good life waiting for me .

Well done on getting to 14 days Cookie! fantastic acheivement. Like yourself, if I can stay on track in 3 years I too will be debt free, hopefully before if I can. Yes i can feel this site is going to be a big help. I have been thinking about buying a new dyson hairdryer, but at £300 its not cheap, but thats what i have just thrown away. I could have bought it and had something for my money, hey ho...thats a gamblers life isnt it.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 18:20

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

DeterminedDan wrote:
Keep your chin up, Emel.

thanks Dan, it really is much appreciated. Hopefully now that I have actually made the step to self exclude, thats a big step in the right direction.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 20:56

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

I so wanted to tell my husband my troubles tonight, but i know i just can't. He obviously seen something was bothering me as he asked what was wrong. What I really want is for him to tell me its going to be ok, he will deal with the finances and we will get there. 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 22:30

Hazard2myself

Joined:
2018-01-28

Hi Emel, I can feel what you're going through. I myself am a compulsive gambler and been off gambling for 27 days. I was too hesitant and scared to come clean to my girlfriend. In the end I decided to do it because I wanted to kill this horrible illness and I knew that I couldn't do it alone. Best decision ever I made now I feel so relived that I told her about all my problems and the debt owed. She keeps my cards and has access to my finances including my credit report.

I understand that you are waiting for the right moment to tell your husband and I'd advise you that you do sooner rather than later. As the saying goes honesty is the best policy. I wish you all the best. I hope you will find the strength to kill this illness.

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 10:13

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

 

Thanks Hazard,

I came close to telling him last night but Right now I cant. 

Well done on almost 1 month GF, it will help having your girlfriend on board too.

 

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 10:17

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Day 1

today is day 1 all over again. I am angry at myself today, I think thats enough to keep me from playing slots. My downfall is like most, chasing the losses, placing bigger bets as that one big win would clear that days losses. 

I think i am going to try and put £5 per day in a little pot. Then at the end of each month, pay a little extra to one of my debts.

I am quite busy today so i am feeling confident I can smash day 1 and feel proud of day 2 tomorrow

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 10:19

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Yes, I did the money in the jar/pot idea too, the last time I was gamble free. I may just do the same this time around too. 

Stay focused Emel and remember that there will be better times ahead without the evils of gambling.

Let’s smash Day 1!!!

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 21:15

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Day 1 is almost over and I have did it! Day 2 is just around the corner! Currently cuddled up with my children on the sofa watching some cartoon, they are the reason I breathe, I need to do this not only for myself, but so much so for them. To give them the best life I can, the holidays and memories!

 

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 21:50

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Well done Emel! Those first 24 hours are always a massive challenge. You’ve come through with flying colours. 

Have a well earned rest tonight and you go again tomorrow. Sticking with the same plans you’ve used today. 

Have a good evening x

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 09:37

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Day 2

Well here we go day 2, feeling quite positive today, I need to go out for a few hours today so that will keep me clear headed. Its usually when I have time and bored that is my weakest time. I have closed all accounts though and have self excluded, plus I have closed all credit cards that had no balance on them. I am much less likely to gamble with money in my bank sccount, I always used a credit card, to me it was like monopoly money.

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 09:49

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

I always felt the same about money online. 

You’re doing great! Each second that passes is you getting further and further away from that last bet and closer and closer to where you want to be. 

Keep on moving forwards, Emel!

It’s the only way to go! 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 06:56

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Day 3

Not much to report this morning.

Happy to have reached day 3 though, im sure i can make it day 4 tomorrow.

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 07:13

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

You’re doing great, Emel.

You’re slowly slipping further and further away from the bad memory of your last gamble. 

That’s all in the past now. 

The present/future is what you can control. Let’s make it count for something. 

With you all the way! Let’s conquer Day 3! 

Have a great day!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 08:24

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

Day 4

well I didnt even think about gambling yesterday with being kept occupied at work/home. And ive sailed into day 4.

Hopefully one day it will be day 4-ever. Im on the right track

Have a good day everyone

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 16:01

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

You’re on the right track, indeed! 

Hope you’ve had another good day today. A day without gambling is a great day. A winning day. It’s as simple as that!

Keep winning Emel! x

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 20:40

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Hey Emel, how’s things? Hope you’re good.

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 01:42

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

 

Hi Dan yes day 7 now!! Its gone quick the last few days!! The weather is really poor where I am and i was lucky to make it home from work. I couldnt get in today though but the kids have kept me busy. Another snow day tomorrow, cannot get the car out so will need to walk for supplies!

I am off to catch up on your diary.

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 09:46

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Yay!!!! One week gamble free! 

Well done Emel! I’m so happy for you. 

I’m glad that you’re being kept busy by your kids and not having the urges to gamble. Each day that passes you’re getting stronger and stronger.

A snow day for me today too so I will have to find something to occupy myself with. I may venture out for a walk this morning.

Have a good day. X

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 13:16

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Emel well done on 7 days gf! Really really pleased for you, my problem was online slots too and I’ve lost so much. Keep posting and one day at a time, each gf day is precious and to be celebrated best of wishes X Lulu 

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 23:14

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

day 14 today! almost day 15. i think about gambling a lot less now. but i seem to go through phases where i dont gamble for over a year then have a relapse. im hoping being on this forum can help.

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 09:04

Emel

Joined:
2018-02-22

I havent posted in 10 days but I am now on 24 days GF! 

I am bored at work and its now that i am most dangerous to gambling, but al online accounts are closed and no access to gamble. Which is a good thing!