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Time to shine

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#1 Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 09:49

Jayjam

Joined:
2017-08-09

After a tumultuous relationship with sports gambling over the last 15 years, I am here to knock it on the head once and for all. I am 30 later this year and although I have wasted a superfluous amount of both money and time over the years, I realize that I really do have a great chance of a successful life if I manage to beat this. Every day I bet, it dominates my thoughts. Every journey I make, I have to go to the bookies, every time I am at work or on my phone, I access livescores to keep abreast of what is happening. 

I love the thrill, it turns a mundane Monday into a day of infinite possibilities. I do, of course, just bet more if I win, maybe taking my Mrs for a nice meal or buying a t-shirt but then, ultimately, spanking the lot and survive the last two weeks of the month on £10.

I'll update more later as I am at work. 

Today is day 2.

Many thanks for reading,

Jam

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 10:09

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Jam,

may today run smoothly for you and well done on setting up a diary and for tackling this once and for all, I wish you well on your journey.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 13:52

Jayjam

Joined:
2017-08-09

Thank you, Wilsy for your kind message of support. 

Well I have navigated the somewhat surprisingly calm waters onto day 3. Still beeen checking sports results and talking to my mates about gambling but I feel firmly the other side of the fence now. Been to buy some bananas from the market for £1 at lunch. Usually, £1 on anything other than gambling would seem excessive and I would literally go without any extras just to plough it all into betting. Maybe turning over £1-2000 per day and sometimes up, sometimes down. I feel serene and relaxed with the amount of time I seem to have to do things already. Usually, a good 12 hours if not more of my day are taken by gambling in some form. Having taken a step back, I already feel that I am out of the haze, the air even feels clearer. Financially I am buggered at the moment. I have no savings, my credit rating is actually zero. If anybody knows how to improve that other than the basics, I'd like to know please. Also, stupidly, I have a credit card with Aqua, payday loans with both Quick Quid & Mr Lender who have been great actually in setting a repayment plan. My biggest bugbear is a £1000 Loans2go loan that I have. I am paying the £227per month for 18 months, paying almost a whopping 2k in interest. The day I went to their shop to get this loan, I went straight into the bookies about 10 doors down and spanked the lot. I do feel different this time and feel like I am going to not go back to giving the bookies my money. Half way down day 3 and so far so good. Thanks for reading and sorry for ranting.

Jam

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 13:56

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Keep going Jam, you are doing great. Remember the good points, the time on your hands, the desire to keep hold of your money. You can do this and we are here to help you.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 23:21

Jayjam

Joined:
2017-08-09

Thanks, Burko. Definitely trying to remember the good points. Day 4 drawing to a close. Quietly satisfied to get to this point. Today was a long day but I felt like I wasn't going to bet. My mind wandered to the future and what possibilities lie ahead. I have 2 ccj's from late last year but I know I I stay gamble free, my reward in 6 years time could be a new house for me and my mrs. Now wouldn't that be swell? A long road ahead before we get to that stage, but get the feeling, maybe, just maybe, there might an unbelievable future out there!
 

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 13:09

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Day 5 today Jayjam, push on through to a full week and each day that passes it will become easily and you will feel more and more satisfied.

Well done.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 13:55

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Hope day 5 is going well Jayjam. Keep up the positive mindset, visulise that house with you in the garden in a deck chair

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 14:08

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Hi jayjam,

Just wanted to offer my support, I’m a week in now to my recovery. My vice was online slots; the good news is I’m almost entirely self excluded from all available sites. 

Best thing to do is to ask them to ban you from their shops, especially if you are local to them, that way you are not tempted to gamble. Place blocks on your mobile, tablet, PC etc... then create a budget spreadsheet for all outgoings and income, and work out exactly when you will eb debt free. I have also done this and have worked out it will be January 2020 if I stick to my budget. It means living frugally for a while, but if that’s what it takes to get gamble and debt free, I am committed to the cause.

All the very best in your fight and keep posting.

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 14:25

Phil83

Joined:
2017-01-17

Hi JayJam,

Welcome to the forum.

I believe that the burden of debt often acts as a stark reminder of our betting lives and a good deterrant for when the urges hit. That said, having dealt with some of the companies above I'd like to share my experiences.

If you are making payment plans with creditors then don't be scared of making token payment offers. Satsuma Loans are currently getting £1 a month off me for a £2k balance and Moorcroft (debt collectors) much the same for a £900 debt sold to them by Barclaycard. I battled with the morality of it as I am a firm believer in dealing with the consequences of my actions, however, not having large repayments to worry about has allowed me to focus on my recovery and, if I want to increase my payments once I'm more comfortable, I can do so.

I had never heard about Loans2Go before but, given their interest rates, all morality goes out the window when it comes to repaying £3k for £1k borrowing. Personally I'd get them to cancel my CPA and wait for them to start chasing payments. This will give you a bit of control as to what to offer them. I'd suggest a token payment offer for 6 months then, if you can, make a Full and Final offer (F&F) to close the account of something approaching the original loan amount (i.e. they get their money back). If you pay a tiny monthly payment for a while they are likely to bite your hand off when the chance to get their original outlay back comes knocking.

Caveat 1: Defaulting and offering F&F's will absolutely knacker your credit score but it sounds like that ship has already sailed

Caveat 2: I'm NOT a financial advisor and this is based on my experiences, you should, ideally, get proper financial advice

Caveat 3: That approach with Loans2Go won't work on a logbook loan as they could realistically just repossess your car

Caveat 4: I am not condoning a 'clean slate' approach as I believe we are responsible for our own actions but, in the instance of L2G, their terms are SO immoral that I would happily play them all I could.

Most importantly, however, is concentrating on your recovery. This has to be your primary focus and getting as many blocks as possible in place should be top of your to do list.

All the best

Phil

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 15:09

Jayjam

Joined:
2017-08-09

Thanks Wilsy, Burko, CG1980 & Phil. 

Was nice to hear those messages of support. Thanks for the loan advice too Phil. My only worry with not paying Loans2go is that they also have the phone numbers of 4 of my family members and they checked that they rang out whilst I was in the shop. The amount to pay back on £1k is actually £3800. Mkes me feel sick as like you, I don't mind paying back but that is literally disgusting. Worst thing is, they gave me cash there and then and I went straight into the bookies and blasted it in an hour! Does anyone know that as my credit rating is knackered anyway, should I just get an IVA to pay of these b*d's a bit by bit for 5 years and then have done with it that way? Thanks again guys. Today is day 5 and I'm plodding along ok. A lot to sort out it feels at the minute so can't wait til I'm a couple of months down the line. To get there though, I have to stay strong. Feel mentally solid at the moment and my defensive technique is watertight at the moment. Long may that continue. 

 

Have a good, strong day everyone!

 

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 15:57

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi jay jam well done on your gf days and really glad your feeling strong. I know just how you feel about the loans my credit rating is terrible so over the years gambling I got a £500 loan on my car from Varooma robbing ******** I’ve paid about £3,000 back then the had the nerve to charge me all the late payments interests etc etc over the two years which amounted to £324 that alone is nearly the original sum I borrowed! I hate them for preying on vulnerability. I’ve nearly paid it off and will NEVER go to anyone like that again. I also have a Vanquis credit card that though is manageable but they sting you so much too because it’s a bad credit credit card, all of these companies should be closed down. I’ve also pawned my jewellery and the buy back interest on that is disgusting. All because of gambling. For your question of IVA I’d definitely give it more thought it could really be useful, best wishes :)

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 16:46

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Ive a debt management plan mate with Stepchange, might be worth looking into. I had about 9K on there to start now down to about £5.9K I pay £153 back a month and it ends June/July 2021, you can also cancel payments up to 3-4 times a year should something expensive come up or look into an IVA, it all depends on the total amount of debt you have I believe. 

Good luck with it but defo make them wait for the money back just get the interest frozen and fast

Wilsy

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:32

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Morning Jayjam, hope that Friday is treating you well. Keep up the great work. One day at a time buddy, we can do this. 

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:46

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

Hey JJ, Thank you for taking time to reply me on the other day. Just like you, you would make a bet on sport game for 1k but we only spent on food for 1. I am really sick of me gambling and losing. Now I am trying to enjoy my life again on regular things before gambling but it is very hard to enjoy. Also my friends are worries because I don't go out at all lately.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 13:44

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi mate, thanks for your kind words, keep safe, keep fighting and most importantly, enjoy your weekend as you deserve to putting so much effort into remaining gamble free. Well done mate

Wilsy

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 16:51

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Cheers, Fellas.

Gone and ballsed up I'm afraid. £600 gone over the weekend despite being £600 up at one point. If I had more available now I'd bet it. Payday tomorrow and money is all accounted for. Don't feel too low, just really wound up and angry at myself as I thought I was doing so well and then the weekend was just too tempting. What a loser in every sense of the word. I'll try again with tomorrow being day 1. So gutted as I write this!

 

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 18:38

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

We’ve all been there mate. Don’t beat yourself up too much! Remember - day 1 this time might be the time you quit for good! Don’t give up, I’ve slipped more times than I care to remember but I’m determined this time that I will never do it again. Get yourself banned from the bookies, install blocks on your phone and computer. It’s the only way that you will not blow more money. Good luck!

Posted on:
Tue, 10/04/2018 - 13:59

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Here we go again. Just done another grand. Feel sick, same old. Got complacent, now complete abstinence. I'm ready.

Posted on:
Tue, 17/04/2018 - 17:02

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Day 3. Most of done for a long while. It's a start I suppose.

Posted on:
Thu, 19/04/2018 - 10:31

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Hey Jayjam / Jamdownunder. How you doing buddy? Sorry I have not been here for you for a while. I know how you feel, the abnger at the relapse, the frustration. The numbness when the bet loses. Keep up the good work. As you know, it is a series of little steps. One foot in front of the other....keep on walking. The dream is to just keep moving forward, not look over the shoulder. If you do, you will be tempted to go back.

We can beat this buddy

Posted on:
Mon, 23/04/2018 - 15:07

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Afternoon all.

Thanks for the message, Burko. I really do know all too well that numb feeling. Day 9 for me today though and am starting to feel like I may just be able to do this. Not done 9 days with out a bet for a long time so trying to re-programme the mind. Productivity at work is up, conversations with people are starting to mean something again instead of rushing through them so I can just check the basketball scores in some far flung land because I have a £350 bet on over 170 points, which will invariably lose. I hope everybody out there can find it within themselves to stop. I am not entirely sure that I will never gamble again but at the moment, I am feeling surprisingly strong and resolute. Cheers!

Posted on:
Wed, 25/04/2018 - 11:05

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Into double figures and on to day 11. Nt been checking anywhere near as many results, am now unaware to a degree of fixtures and have been watching the IPL and enjoying it. Long may this continue. Going to be tight this month as have some gambling debts to pay but hopefully then I can get an IVA set up and start doing some nice things.

Posted on:
Fri, 27/04/2018 - 10:47

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Day 13 today and Payday. Will be the first payday I haven't bet in years. I walked past the bookies this morning and so far so good.,

Posted on:
Sat, 28/04/2018 - 04:00

Hazard2myself

Joined:
2018-01-28

Hi Jay,

Thank you for posting some encouraging words on my diary and well done for keeping yourself strong and not getting tempted whilst walking past the bookies. Congratulations on racking up double digit GF days. Keep up the good work mate. One day at a time. Take care.

Pras

Posted on:
Mon, 30/04/2018 - 10:20

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Cheers Pras,

Well, the first payday has come and gone, a particularly proud moment. Not been in the bookies for over two weeks, no feelings of feeling sick and although I don't ahve a lot of speare money after paying £900 in gambling debts this month on top of living exoenses, I sure feel that I am turning this corner. Not looked at odds and wasn't even bothered about football scores. Watched a bit of the cricket and that was about it. I can't wait to see how this will all feel in 6 months time. Just hope that I can stay strong. Best wishes to everyone today on this dank Monday morning. We can, by staying clear of the bookies and making it a previous life, bring a little sunshine into our lives.

Jam

Posted on:
Tue, 01/05/2018 - 15:16

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

On to day 17 today of no bookies either online or in shop. I say no bookies because I did buy a lottery ticket at the wwekend. This is something I don't struggle with so I don't mind doing it. For me, it was dashing down the bookies whilst at work and staking £350 on a single basketball match that I knew nothing about and then watching it at work. 

I also self excluded on the new Gamstop site for the maximum 5 year term. This is also good news as, after a few beers on a Saturday night, I'd often hit the NBA or any foreign cricket up, bet as much as I had available to me and then wake up with that horrible sick feeling. This is the longest that I have ever done and I am starting to feel better about this whole thing. Long may it continue.

Posted on:
Wed, 02/05/2018 - 11:28

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Good Morning Diary,

On to day 18 today and I still have some money left. Not a lot but I would have already usually borrowed money at this point so it feels a little odd but clearly in a good way. I told my partner that I am on day 18 and she said well done, she still doesn't know how badly I was affected by this as quite simply, I have been a master of disguise. Now, I feel like my life is a little less exciting but now I can hopefully start to plan for nice holidays and things which will offer an even bigger high moving forward. Starting to be a little healthier too as my weight had sky rocketed to over 20st. I'll try to work on this now instead of gambling.

Does anybody else ever have that feeling of money burning a hole in their pocket? I don't have a lot but feel the need to spend it for some strange reason, however not on gambling this time. 2.5 weeks since I went in a bookies and already strangely, feels like half of a lifetime. Long may it continue : )

 

Keep going guys, we will get there!

Posted on:
Fri, 04/05/2018 - 13:55

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Here we go, day 20. Found it a bit tough yesterday and also abit today. Quite a few urges without being too much to act on. The longer time goes on, the more often I have the thoughts that 'oh it's not that bad'. The pain and the anxiety of the loss becomes duller as time wears on but then I come on here and read others stories and it snaps me out of it and brings reality home. What a great tool this website is. It is tough moving forward, especially as I am not fully seeing the financial benefits yet. I know sticking at this will get me there. I do have enough for a couple of beers in the sun this bank holiday, usually,I would be inside gambling. Let's enjoy the sun and have a gamble free holiday : )

 

Jam

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 13:51

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Onto day 24 and back to work after the bank holiday. Great weekend and ultimately, stayed in the nice weaher and didn't entertain going into the bookies. Few urges but kept bust and stayed gamble free. Onwards and upwards.

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 18:02

samba79

Joined:
2018-03-22

Well done jam you seem to be coping well so far mate

Posted on:
Wed, 09/05/2018 - 16:10

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

 Cheers, Samba. I feel like I am doing ok to be honest with you. Not feeling too better financially yet but I am hoping that will come in time. I have money for lunch at work everyday now and this is the first month I remember where I have not borrowed money to gamble with or for anything. Bit of self pride starting to creep back in which is great and today is a 1/4 of a century. Day 25. Before, I could never have imagined I'd be this resolute, it really is all in the mind and mindset. If you are not 100% ready to give up and can't visualise never betting again, I don't think it can be done. I feel ready!

Posted on:
Thu, 10/05/2018 - 14:46

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Onwards and upwards to day 26. Today I went to the gym before work and even eat a salad for lunch. I am currently around 20 stone at the minute, which sounds worse that it is as I'm still relatively fit but should ideally be about 15st. Now I bet I am not the only one who piled the weight on when gambling. If I lost at lunchtime, I would get a Mcdonalds or something else bad. Why would I do something good for myself when I feel so bad about the money I had just lost. More comfort eating / punishment and this would continue when I got home too. Also, I would never have been up before work to exercise as A, I'd be too tired from staying up gambling the night before and B, I'd be researching that days bets. Now, although I feel a bit bored sometimes and feel like I keep on checking the same news websites etc and Facebook over and over again, I am going to hopefully nail the diet to really start to feel amazing. Hopefully, those enorphins will replace the ones I miss through high stakes gambling. I also plan to save 10k and take a year out of work to start my own business. If I could do this in 18 months, I'd be delighted. Let's get through this addiction guys and start dreaming, C'mown!

Posted on:
Thu, 10/05/2018 - 15:21

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi JDU,
Well done on getting to 26 days without a bet. A great way to start and sounds like you have plenty off things in place to help you with racking those days up.

Been quite a while since my last bet but I have seem to be doing the things that you are. When I am quiet at work i find myself going round the same websites over and over. This being one, facebook, skysports, bbc, sky news. I have alawys struggled to find things to do when im bored and cant get motivated.

Away from work I am fine, I do more wife and my kids these days, than i ever did.

 Anyway if you ever come up with something to replace this habbit then pass it on :)

Damo
 

Posted on:
Mon, 14/05/2018 - 10:40

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Cheers, Damo and I will let you know, ha!

Onwards to day 30 today and a full month since my last bet on April 14th. A little pat on the back for myself today and although just beginning on this journey, I am happy with the start that I have made. Not feeling any financial benefits yet. I haven't borrowed any money this month to bet with though so hopefully my family feel less stresses already. Been a relatively good diet weekend too so focused on getting outdoors with some nice walks and played badminton over the weekend too. Cr is in the garage today as making a funny sound and using too much water, Today I will not be gambling to try and win it back, will just weather the storm. Have a good sunny Monday all.

 

Jam

Posted on:
Tue, 15/05/2018 - 15:09

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

On to day 31. Car is going to cost in excess of £200. Annoying but soon I will have money in the bank to pay for things like this. Had to borrow it but before this would be for gambling so some positive at least. Beautiful weather and have due to the car being in garage, have walked a good 12 miles in last two days so feeling those benefits too. Have a good day folks.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/05/2018 - 21:43

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi jamdownunder, thanks for the post on my diary, didnt think anyone read it anymore ha ha ...... well done on reaching 31 days without a bet cause that first month is never easy.Good to see that you are keeping yourself busy and i have found exercise helps me aswell... keep racking up those days and believe me the money side of things will start to improve the longer you can remain gamble free, keep up the good work mate you are doing great.

Posted on:
Thu, 17/05/2018 - 10:39

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Day 33 today. No bets for me today.

Posted on:
Thu, 17/05/2018 - 11:41

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

thanks for your post on my diary Jam, pleased you are doing well mate

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 09:21

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Well done on reaching a month gamble free JDU, its a great start.

Hopefully the haze is lifting a bit now bur try to remember not to be complacent.

The first bet is the most important one to avoid. If there is no first bet there is no second, third etc.

Damo

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 15:12

merlins

Joined:
2018-02-14

It’s good that you are learning a new language instead of gambling. I guess I will find a similar way to deal with my boredom too.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 23:47

Hazard2myself

Joined:
2018-01-28

Well done on completing 36 GF days Jay. Keep racking up those GF days you're doing ever so well mate. I hope you had a great weekend. Take care bud.

Posted on:
Tue, 22/05/2018 - 10:10

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Cheers, Pras. You too mate, doing a cracking job as ever.

Onwards and upwards to day 38 today, I can't quite beleive it to be honest. Still getting urges but more boredom than anything. I figure that after 38 days, if I just don't let that first bet come, the others and the destruction can't follow. Feeling pretty strong at the min!

Posted on:
Thu, 24/05/2018 - 13:40

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Day 40. Been a bit if a tough day knowing that payday is tomorrow.I can't buckle, we are away for the weekend and I also have a lot of financial commitments this month, if I were to balls it up, I'd be in a very sticky spot indeed. Still not helping thinking it'd be nice to have a few beers with play off final, champions league and now that the cricket is in full flow. No, no, no. Must be strong and reaffirm to myslef that this is not an option. Like I say, tough today but will do everything I can to stay gamble free. Cheers all.

 

Jam

Posted on:
Wed, 30/05/2018 - 10:49

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Day 46. I hope everyone had a good bank hol :)

Posted on:
Mon, 04/06/2018 - 10:54

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Hi,

Just to say thanks for dropping in on my recovery diary and to wish you well in your recovery as well mate. I’m 109 days in which is when the itch starts to get worse but I’m determined to stay strong and beat this once and for all! 

Good luck mate, we CAN beat this. You only win when you don’t gamble.