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Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 00:12

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Slight urge yesterday. 

Having access to my card again is making it more difficult. Was bored in the afternoon and had a look around  few sites, I have permanantly closed 7 or 8 which is a start but a few others I have self excluded from I can access again in a few weeks or so. 

I dont want to gamble, deffinately not to the point of how I was before I quit. In an ideal world I would stick to the £10 a week deposit limits I set but they never last. 

Busy tomorrow , off to the Emirates to watch the Arsenal play Watford and then off to Seville Tuesday morning so busy week ahead will help. 

Day 106 £795.00

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 00:02

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Good day yesterday topped off watching arsenal with an easy 3-0 win.

Busy day coming up today getting last minute bits for my 4 day trip to Seville tomorrow , £800 mark reached :)

Day 107 : £802.50 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 08:49

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Morning CM3003 congrats on 107 days gamble free you are doing so well and saved so much, I must try and save more I am still spending way too much!

Have a great week!

Wilsy

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 20:29

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Thanks Wilsy, have Seville tomorrow and booked new York yesterday for June so just saving every penny I can at the moment. 

The £2,500 a year I was averaging gambling before this diary is a lot of money to me and just didnt realise how much I was throwing away. Its good to see the savings grow.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 13/03/2018 - 00:00

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

28th Birthday today. First birthday in a about 6 or 7 years that I wont gamble. Off to Seville this afternoon for a much needed 4 day break. 

Have a good day all, remember that we are all winning just by saying NO to gambling. 

Day 108 : £810.00

Posted on:
Wed, 14/03/2018 - 17:26

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 109 : £817.50

Posted on:
Thu, 15/03/2018 - 09:20

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

After a rainy day yesterday Sun is finally out here in Seville. 

Busy day site seeing today including a visit to the 3rd largest cathedral in the world.

Day 110 : £825.00

Posted on:
Fri, 16/03/2018 - 07:36

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 111 : £832.50

Posted on:
Sat, 17/03/2018 - 08:54

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

At Seville airport waiting to come home, flight has been delayed half hour zzz. 

Day 112 : £840.00

Posted on:
Sat, 17/03/2018 - 21:09

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello CM3003,

I'll be honest i wasn't sure when you first started this journey that the idea of focusing on the money was a great idea. I also felt from your early posts that said you wanted to "get to at least 100 days" sounded non-committal to stopping a dangerous addiction for the long term.

However, i've found it good to watch the numbers grow and see you not only hit 100 days but pass it with a commitment to continue with what has proven to be a successful strategy. I hope to see you keep this up for the long term mate. I hope you do stay away from the idea of going back to gambling and keep saving the money you earn.

Hope Seville was good! Im looking at going over there for my 30th birthday so would love to hear about it and any recommendations to see/visit.

Have a good weekend.

Posted on:
Sun, 18/03/2018 - 01:06

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Hi SJ, 

Thanks for your input. It is not all about the money but it has helped motivate me to stick to it. Every £50 i save I take out in cash and put in an envelope ontop of my wardrobe, will be £850.00 I have in there on Monday.

I said I wanted to hit at least 100 days as I didnt know how difficult this would be and 100 days for me was a good goal to set myself. Now I am after 200 days and if/when I hit that I will try a whole year. 

I just know that it will be difficult to not have a punt on the world cup, will be going out more watching the games and its a time I usually would have a few punts.

I am hoping this break will at least calm me down in terms of how I was before. I had no self control over my betting. I didnt gamble everyday but when I did I lost in big chunks.

Seville was great thanks. I didnt realise however that March is the wettest month for them so although we had quite a bit of sunshine we did have a couple hours of rain everyday. 

We went for 4 nights but you can do it in 3 , Its a small city but glad I went there and would recommend for a birthday weekend away.

Day 113 : £847.50 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 07:54

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 114 : £855.00

Posted on:
Tue, 20/03/2018 - 08:03

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Feeling good lately, 5 day break helped me forget the football and the international break doesnt appeal to me. Next few weeks should be easier. 

Day 115 £862.50

Posted on:
Wed, 21/03/2018 - 07:28

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 116 : £870.00

Posted on:
Thu, 22/03/2018 - 07:26

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 117 : £877.50

Posted on:
Fri, 23/03/2018 - 07:24

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Nothing to say really at the moment, had no urges for a while now.

On a personal note bit of anxiety has creeped back in lately due to work, just worries of what to do long term and feeling a bit lost and unsatisfied.

The most of my 20s has been hit with anxiety and depression and I used to use gambling as a way of escaping it but it only made things worse so at least I am not doing that anymore.

Day 118 : £885.00

Posted on:
Sat, 24/03/2018 - 07:56

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

17 weeks gamble free. 

Feeling good and no urges at the moment.

Day 119 : £892.50

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 10:44

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 120 : £900.00

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 15:20

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Well done CM, 4 months GF tomorrow!

Posted on:
Mon, 26/03/2018 - 08:44

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Thanks SJ.

Last 4 months flown by, taking it day by day.

Day 121 : £907.50 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/03/2018 - 08:08

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 122: £915.00

Posted on:
Wed, 28/03/2018 - 07:49

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Couple of urges last night watching the England game. Was just thinking to myself how its been over 4 months since last bet and how a little bet wont hurt but then quickly remembered how a little bet nearly always turns into a lot more.

Day 123 : £922.50

Posted on:
Thu, 29/03/2018 - 00:49

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 124 : £930.00

Posted on:
Fri, 30/03/2018 - 00:15

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

A lot of football coming up from now on over the next few weeks/Months. Going to test me for sure but feel fine for now.

Day 125 : £937.50

Posted on:
Sat, 31/03/2018 - 08:28

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 126 : £945.00 

Posted on:
Sun, 01/04/2018 - 08:30

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Little temptation yesterday. Had no plans so was at home with the football on yesterday thinking how much i have saved and how a little bet wont hurt. Want to keep going though.

Day 127 : £952.50

Posted on:
Mon, 02/04/2018 - 09:30

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 128 : £960.00

Posted on:
Tue, 03/04/2018 - 08:52

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 129 : 967.50

Posted on:
Wed, 04/04/2018 - 00:52

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Struggled a bit last night watching the footie. I am very happy to have  done almost 20 weeks gamble free but part of me just misses that feel of a bet and keeping the games interesting.

Have saved almost £1,000 by staying clear of it all but I know that can all be quickly undone if I give in. At my worst I lost over £1,000 in 2 weeks.

Id like to think I can control it a bit more now that I have had this break, it has been my first big break from it all since I started gambling 6 years ago but I also no that it is really hard to control at times.

Onto another day anyway, hopefully the urges pass over the next few days, just a hard time now with so much football coming up and no break from it all this summer.

Day 130 : £975.00 

Posted on:
Thu, 05/04/2018 - 00:52

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 131 £982.50 

Posted on:
Fri, 06/04/2018 - 14:42

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Was really tempted last night to give in, I feel in myself that I wont be as bad as before now that i have had this long break but I know deep down its easy to get carried away again.

Day 132 : £990.00

Posted on:
Sat, 07/04/2018 - 12:52

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Feel myself giving in soon, £1,000 mark tomorrow, a lot saved and almost 20 weeks gamble free , been much needed break

Day 133 : £997.50

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 00:34

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Been 134 days since I last gambled and have now saved just over £1,000. Longest I have gone without a gamble and although there have been a few urges lately feels good and this almost 5 month break has been much needed.

Day 134 : £1,005

Posted on:
Mon, 09/04/2018 - 09:30

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 135 : £1,012

Posted on:
Tue, 10/04/2018 - 09:36

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Struggling at the moment, want to hit at least 150 days though so will try stick at it

Day 136 : £1,020

Posted on:
Wed, 11/04/2018 - 08:46

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 137 - £1,027.50

Posted on:
Wed, 11/04/2018 - 10:59

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi mate, well done of continuing to beat this, it is never easy and will never be, just try your best to remain strong, sadly I wasn't strong enough so I have to start all over again but will use you as an inspiration to not give up.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 12/04/2018 - 07:46

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

 

Thanks Wilsy, 

Have been struggling a bit more the last week or so. Im happy with this break I have had but its going to be so hard to give it up for good. For me id just be happy if I could set myself a limit each week and just stick to it but its hard and it only takes a couple of days to lose it and undo all the hard work. 

My aim at the minute is to make it to day 200, the day before the world cup but even that is still 62 days away. 

Will just keep going day by day 

Day 138 £1,035

Posted on:
Fri, 13/04/2018 - 08:42

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Day 139 £1042.50 

Posted on:
Sat, 14/04/2018 - 20:58

CM3003

Joined:
2015-03-27

Unfortunately my run is over.

I just couldnt resist the temptation of the grand national. I dont bet on horses but have always bet on the national.

My pick? 14/1 Tiger Roll £10 @ 14/1 :) My birthday is 13th and always back number 13. 

Im slightly bugged at giving in but I  do feel I have more control than I did 5 months ago when I last gambled. I hid my gambling from my girlfriend and now she knows about it and will not let me be hooked on my phone like i used to be.

Im going to start recording my bets to keep track of my spending.

Going 139 days gamble free and saving over £1,000 feels good and I know that I am not in the clear of this addiction but I am in a much better place then I was when I last gambled.

 

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