GamCare Logo

Error message

Notice: Undefined property: stdClass::$field_banner_image in gamcare_preprocess_page() (line 61 of /data/websites-live/www.gamcare.org.uk/public/sites/all/themes/gamcare/template.php).
Login / Register

A thought a day...to keep me away.

245 posts / 0 new
Last post

Pages

Posted by
Messages
#1 Posted on:
Sat, 08/10/2016 - 11:04

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

I made a decision on Tuesday to stop hurting myself and my family once and for all.

I am going to post my thoughts daily, to mark my progress, and hopefully to recieve and offer support to all the others with the same or similar issues.

Today would normally start with plans and expectations and end by proving expensive, and causing pain.

The 'When Saturday Comes' anticipation of a day out with the lads, selecting and analysing the football matches (even ridiculously planning what to do with the winnings), beer, the live international................then on line and betting heavily on sports I know nothing about and games of chance (which are not even 100 percent round), up and down, down and up and down, right down, until the money runs out and the self loathing and worry begin.  

Well NOT today !

Up early, industrious - doing things i have been putting off....feeling good.

Looking forward to the match, and a few beers with mates...but wife has bank card and i have self excluded all accounts...................and anyway i am confident i will have no desire.

Good luck to all the UK teams, for once im going to enjoy the games, instead of worring about Half Time:Full Times and Handicaps.

Im going to be a proud winner tonight, by not taking part !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 09/10/2016 - 13:07

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Got through the whole of Saturday without temptation and feel really good today because of it (i even came home with enough cash in pocket to buy a kebab). 

One thing i found weird was that people obviously know me as a punter, and asked me about my thoughts on prices and bets all evening.....I know this  was because footie was on, but I am obviously that shallow that all they have to discuss with me is gambling - what an indictment ha ha (I am mostly jesting).

I am starting to feel a little bit more alive already, have a clean and happy Sunday all ! 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 10/10/2016 - 20:10

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Day 6....no problems.

I suppose its easier not to gamble when you have left yourself and your family with little or no money, so I am not getting too cool about it....but for me 6 days is a big step in the right direction.

I know my pattern around pay day, but with that being near the end of the month i have plenty time to reflect and to develop coping strategies.

I am a Compulsive Gambler in recovery and realise that its only the next bet I have to avoid.

Feeling stronger (but not complacent) with every day that passes.

I have turned my back on the past.

Roll on tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 10/10/2016 - 20:19

Weldy

Joined:
2009-04-21

It's great that you have made a start on your road to recovery.  Well done!  Having been here a number of times before, I always find starting out to be a difficult decision to make and it's so hard to get into the recovery groove, but it's very true that things get better on a daily basis, once you get over the initial few weeks or so. All the best in your recovery. Weldy

Posted on:
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 17:51

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

I have made it through a full week, I really cant think when the last time I managed that was....it could be all of 25 years!!

This time last week I had just splurged £400 in 15 minutes of madness, and another cloud of self loathing was hanging over me.

Last night for the first time ever I admitted to a friend the extent of my problem, and it felt cathartic.

I am just on the start of a long road to recovery and have one or two big bullets still to dodge, but goodness knows how much better I feel than this time last week.

Staying strong and still lost my appetite for sport.

Have a good evening all!

 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 18:04

Athena1991

Joined:
2016-09-17

Hi Skyblublue 

Congratulations on your progress to date - make sure you keep going and stay positive. I have done a month and a half gf and feel like this is the start of a good life a one i can enjoy much more.

Athena

Posted on:
Thu, 13/10/2016 - 18:50

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Thank you to Athena and Weldy for the positive comments.

Today I felt like a man possessed at work.

Its only my ninth day of being clean, but I am already far more focussed on goals and doubly industrious.

I still have no real money to speak of and appreciate that i am at my worst around pay day, so my bigger tests are still to come.

Nevertheless things are begining to seem possible again and I believe I can attain them.

Stay strong everyone.

 

Posted on:
Fri, 14/10/2016 - 00:52

Weldy

Joined:
2009-04-21

That's good news mate and very true about being broke right now, so make sure you have a good plan for pay day - a good thing to do maybe, is pay all the necessary bills you can straight away, even if it's earlier than usual - then it will settle your mind and reduce any risks as much as possible?

Weldy

Posted on:
Sat, 15/10/2016 - 11:15

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Weldy i am on your wavelength as i spent yesterday building a spreadsheet of incomings and outgoings right through to next August. This spreadsheet covers of every bill and commitment first and foremost each month......but also shows me what I can now have, the thought of a family holiday a second hand car and a nice Christmas far outweighs the thought or need for another bet. Things are becoming clearer. Have a positive day everyone.  

Posted on:
Tue, 18/10/2016 - 06:39

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Two weeks !!!! So much more aware of my responsibilities. 

Focus remaining very strong - long may it continue :)

Posted on:
Tue, 18/10/2016 - 07:52

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Hey skyblue, congratulations on two weeks, great achievement! Stay strong, stay positive it's totally worth it! C x

Posted on:
Sat, 22/10/2016 - 08:52

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Well here I am at day 18 and about to walk into the ring like a Christian to the lions.

I have had hardly any thought or inclination to bet, but today I am going to put myself to the test.

In half an hour i am on a Stags day out, its a mystery tour......but i have heard from a good source its to Kelso races :(

It going to be difficult and will cause conflict if i make excuses not to go, so if that is where we end up, i am just going to have to tell the group that i am a Compulsive Gambler and ask them to respect my decision not to partake.

I am sure there will be some pubs and interesting people to have a beer with while they are at the racecourse.

I am not worried, i am focussed and feel more than strong enough to get through this, but what a strange twist of fate to test my mettle.

I am not going to let myself or my family down and am going to be back here tomorrow to record my success and pride.

  

 

Posted on:
Sun, 23/10/2016 - 03:00

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Walk in the park, over the moon...to have come through such an environment makes me feel so strong and so proud......................never ever again...ive got this !!

Posted on:
Sun, 23/10/2016 - 15:40

Weldy

Joined:
2009-04-21

Well done Skyblue, a good test to have come through

Posted on:
Mon, 24/10/2016 - 15:34

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

As payday approaches I know i am about to face my toughest test to date.

If i was to plot my monthly money loss, it all kicks off not long after midnight on payday and deteriorates from there.

Self exclusion will very much put a stop to that piece of madness come the wee small hours of this Friday!.

Today i have gone through my finances and contacted all those companies i have been ignoring for months (if not years), and made commitments to put a little dent in what i owe.....it wasnt at all painful, and to be honest it feels like another weight has been lifted. All were understanding and fair.

I can now make genuinley achievable plans for Christmas and the things long having been needed done around the house.

Yes they will take time, but by planning a few months ahead i can visualise what i can achieve when gambling is not in my life. 

I have one major issue still to address but god willing that large boulder will disappear and my road will be truely clear to move on before the week is out.

Is just beeen really refreshing and i feel im starting to feel better mentally and physically....early days  of course but feeling better with every day.

Stick in all, we can beat this!! 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 12:05

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

22 Days GF, but still two more days until I can exhale. These last three weeks have been mental hell, not the stopping gambling, but the financial worry and stress I have placed myself and my family under. I am never ever heading back to this dark place that i sit in now !!

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 12:43

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hi - well done, Im not far in front of you with day 29 days today and it was payday for me yesterday - I was fine - paid some bills and debts.  My brain is thinking differently and I feel so much better - Im never going back there - Ive been keeping busy these last 29 days and doing normal things - to be honest I do not know how I had the time to sit there and play those awful slots for hours and hours at a time.  Regardless of the money lost and the debt (which can be cleared with time) you can never get those lost hours, days, weeks months that it has added up to back.  Life is precious and we never know what is around the corner so spend it with loved ones/friends and enjoy life instead of stressing over money lost etc., best wishes x 

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 14:01

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Anon100 wrote:

Hi - well done, Im not far in front of you with day 29 days today and it was payday for me yesterday - I was fine - paid some bills and debts.  My brain is thinking differently and I feel so much better - Im never going back there - Ive been keeping busy these last 29 days and doing normal things - to be honest I do not know how I had the time to sit there and play those awful slots for hours and hours at a time.  Regardless of the money lost and the debt (which can be cleared with time) you can never get those lost hours, days, weeks months that it has added up to back.  Life is precious and we never know what is around the corner so spend it with loved ones/friends and enjoy life instead of stressing over money lost etc., best wishes x 

So so true Anon100.

I had an hour or two to kill in a one horse town earlier, well one horse, two bookies.

I took my Kindle and walked in the opposite direction of the bookies, and sat and read until it was time to leave.

Small win, but a win nevertheless as i have left that two bob town skint on many occassions in the past.

It is all about making yourself busy, making goals and getting things done......weird as it is im champing at the bit for pay day so i can get things paid!

I too have my brain thinking differently and really am starting to feel envigorated :)

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

 Skyblueblue

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 14:08

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi SBB , It's always good when we see our mindset changing and begin looking forward to doing things other than gambling , do whatever you need to do on a daily basis to stay safe as every day Gamble free is a real winning day as far I'm concerned:)).

Congratulagtions on getting the first 3 weeks under your belt , there always toughie's and it wont be long before hitting that first month .

Best wishes    Alan 

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 16:59

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi SBB , It's always good when we see our mindset changing and begin looking forward to doing things other than gambling , do whatever you need to do on a daily basis to stay safe as every day Gamble free is a real winning day as far I'm concerned:)).

Congratulagtions on getting the first 3 weeks under your belt , there always toughie's and it wont be long before hitting that first month .

Best wishes    Alan 

Alan thank you - I like that 'every day i dont gamble is a winning day'....Im going to make that my mantra :)

Skyblueblue

Posted on:
Fri, 28/10/2016 - 09:01

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

What a horrifically nerve wracking month.

The temptation of gambling was not too much of a challenge as I had self excluded from everywhere and more, and having blown all my cash anyway couldnt have even if the desire had been there.

What has been killing me is the fact I spent money that was not mine to spend, and I have been living in terrible guilt and worry.

Where my head was i will never know, but it was the catalyst for at last admitting defeat and seeking help.

By good fortune or the grace of something or someone far bigger than myself, i have been spared and have settled my debt, and can breathe again.

I really would have lost everything, and despite knowing that, i still chose to gamble with not only my life, but those of my wife and kids - what a low life desperado i have become.

However nearly four weeks on, i feel so much better and with that obvious weight off my shoulders now feel even more envigorated and focussed.

Today being pay day, i would normally have been playing online slots by now, instead i have paid every bill and fulfilled every obligation and it feels really amazing.

There is not much left, but a clean November (which it will be), will allow a peaceful, relatively financially stress free Christmas with my loved ones.

I appreciate that i am on the early stages of my journey and wont get complacent, however I am a very blessed guy, with so much love around me, i feel released from prison and am going to appreciate every special moment and going to try to make up for as much lost time as possible.

Have a strong day everyone!

Sbb 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 30/10/2016 - 11:39

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Over the moon with how I am beginning to feel, im winning by not gambling.

Stress free weekends and quality time with people that matter.

Stay strong folks.

Posted on:
Sun, 30/10/2016 - 11:48

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Hi Skyblueblue, wow! Just read your diary from the beginning and a MASSIVE well done to you! That feeling of being able to breathe in a morning, makes not gambling so worth it! You stay strong, keep your family tight and enjoy the ready of you weekend. Take Care cx

Posted on:
Mon, 31/10/2016 - 09:38

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Charley1 wrote:

Hi Skyblueblue, wow! Just read your diary from the beginning and a MASSIVE well done to you! That feeling of being able to breathe in a morning, makes not gambling so worth it! You stay strong, keep your family tight and enjoy the ready of you weekend. Take Care cx

Thank you Charley1, I am finding great strength from reading about everyone elses successes, tools and techniques.

I am feeling so much stronger and cant believe that when I wake on Saturday morning i will be 1 full month gamble free.

I realise now how much of a fool I have been, and am very blessed to still have what I have. 

Having really gone to town on my debts this month, its going to be a financial struggle, but I cant see anything breaking this positivity.

Sbb

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 31/10/2016 - 09:53

aberdeenlad

Joined:
Before 2009

SBB - just wanted to say well done on making such a positive change in your life. You sound like you really have it in you to carry on this great progress. I haven't gambled for the last week, and take real inspiration from the posts of people like yourself. Keep up the good work my friend.

Al

Posted on:
Mon, 31/10/2016 - 12:27

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

With my new found time on my hands, I have produced my 'Fifty Words of Wisdom', suppose its part of my healing, an opportunity to remember what is important in my life.

I share it in the hope some of them may ring true for you and in some way help you focus on your goals a little more.

  1. Time is the most valuable commodity on the planet, and we all have it in equal amounts. It’s how we spend it that matters. Spend it with people who make your heart sing, spend it with those people who would break your heart if they were not around.
  2. Too much of one thing normally means not enough of another. If you are spending too long at work, too long on in the pub or too long on the golf course, it means that not enough of your time is being spent elsewhere. In the end you will miss wonderful moments you can never get back.
  3. Really appreciate people, and savour every moment with them. One day sadly you will find they have gone.
  4. We are all exactly the same, colour, religion, location, age, size and shape may label us, but we all came from the same place and will return there.
  5. Empathy, Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, and Respect are paths to contentment. When we wander off these paths or someone blocks our way, we make bad decisions which hurt us deep inside.
  6. School is really is the best time of your life. The ability to learn is a wonderful gift, as is the art of teaching and passing on knowledge. It’s a microcosm of evolution itself, it is the survival of the fittest so grab every piece of knowledge that you can.
  7. Read a book every month. It takes you to places you have never been and may never go to. It introduces places that you may end up travelling to. It offers insight into different lives and thoughts, situations and cultures, people and times. It shows us what it is to be humans.
  8. When you feel something is wrong, it almost every time is wrong…the sooner you understand and act on this the better.
  9. When you feel something is right, it isn’t always the case…follow the feeling until it feels wrong.
  10. It’s hard to walk away from trouble, but it really is less painful in the long run. Long term grudges or vendettas eat away at the soul. Lashing out may hurt you as much, or more than the other person, and tends to mean lawyer’s fees and fines.  
  11. Travel whenever possible, the places with the least to offer materialistically always offer far more spiritually.
  12. Feel every emotion and learn to enjoy each one for what it is…..part of the wonder which is life.
  13. Be brave! Tell that girl she is beautiful, ask for a pay rise (if you know you deserve it), …….Fortune does favour it!
  14. Be wary of those who don’t drink. They remember the next day, and take great joy in reminding you and telling others about things you cannot.
  15. Great Britain is the best little place in the world. We have a rich history of invention, we have four very different seasons, our scenery is up there with the best and our beer hits the spot.
  16. Some people are needy and selfish, it’s not something they are necessarily aware of or can alter. If you have the energy give them your time, if you don’t have, walk away politely.
  17. If someone enters your mind, take a moment to email, call, text, snapchat or what’s app them and ask them how they are! Knowing we are not alone is a fundamental need, and letting someone know you care costs nothing at all.    
  18. Make lists, have goals, prioritise them and do everything you can to achieve them however big or small. There are not many better feelings than a sense of purpose and a sense of achievement.
  19. Aim high, think big, it is all possible…but you have to visualise it and believe it possible!
  20. Dance – Dance even if no one else is, Dance in the rain, Dance in the light, it’s your song that’s playing right now.
  21. All 7.5 billion of us exist on a speck of dust which is revolving around a slightly larger speck of dust at 67,000 miles an hour in an indefinable space without any control over our destiny. Your tiny little life is therefore not that important in the big scheme of things, however every single word you speak and action you take has an impact on others all around the globe, so choose what you say and do very carefully. 
  22. Friends and Colleagues are important, Family is all. Resolve issues, don’t let them fester. If you have let them fester, resolve them today…there may not be a tomorrow.
  23. Eat what you like, when you like. Why would you eat what you don’t like, when you don’t want to?
  24. Exercise is healthy but then again so is sleeping, do as you feel – it’s your life and no one can alter that fact.
  25. We all make mistakes, and instead of learning from them, tend to repeat them despite the obvious pain they cause. The secret really is listening to yourself before you take action, consider options and probable outcomes wherever possible…..We tend to know how things will pan out.  
  26. Be good, if you have the time, the skill or the financial means help with no expectation of return…it feels amazing for the giver just as much as the receiver….try it!
  27. On each of the 1500 times the average couple make love the man releases 500 million sperm, of which one will connect with one of the 2 million eggs  that the woman was born with. That’s odds of 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500 that you are here at all. You are very special – remember that!
  28. For you to exist and produce a specific child has odds of 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500 x 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500. Children are the most amazing, wondrous things, treat them with love, awe and light them the paths.
  29. Today is all that matters. Don’t forget the past, but don’t dwell on it, By all means make plans, but that’s all they are at this stage. Today is the day, today is your day!
  30. Slow down and admire the view. A journey gets you from A to B, it is the journey itself that takes time and therefore provides an opportunity to reflect and take stock.
  31. However you see yourself and whatever you think of yourself, it’s is a million light years away from how you portray yourself and how others see you. If you are brave enough ask!
  32. Everyone has fears and failings, everyone! From the top CEO to mega-rich sportsmen/women and rock stars. They are no better than you, in fact you may well be a better person than they are.
  33. Don’t have a dig at your boss, they may frustrate you, but they are generally trying their best in a difficult set of circumstances. Remember the emperor may be wearing new clothes, but the emperor is still the emperor, naked or not!
  34. Television is designed to dumb us down. Watching actors and actresses playing out fictional lives in soaps is to stop us thinking about and challenging our own.
  35. Break the rules wherever possible. If we all adhered and complied we as a race would not evolve. Challenge what you are told, break the mould, smash through the glass ceilings and if necessary kick down the statues.
  36. It’s good to have faith but keep it personal. Organised religion can be divisive, dangerous and thrives on the insecurities of us humans. King Zog of Albania may well have had it right!
  37. Karaoke’s should never be held in the same location more than once a year. The same people singing the same songs poorly each week is not what should be viewed as entertainment.
  38. People are generally a disappointment, but when someone comes up trumps, it’s worth the wait. Keep believing.
  39. One hour of glory may seem worth far more than a week of mediocrity but a week lasts 167 hours longer!.
  40. Horror films are not good. They teach us that hatred and evil are acceptable and commonplace. If you need to stay in and watch a movie, choose Shawshank, Green Mile, Elf or It’s a Wonderful life.
  41. Musically the 60s were where it all began, the 70s where it happened and the 80s where it ended.
  42. Looks do attract, but it is what is inside that matters, go with the latter if you can’t have both.
  43. Don’t marry young, play the field, but sensibly and with respect. Learn to understand yourself and what you like and dislike before jumping in. Marriage is costly emotionally and financially so choose well.
  44. Believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your friends and family, believe in humanity, believe in something higher than all of us – they all exist and have limitless possibilities.
  45. Look for the good. Everything is made of positive and negative energy, there is bound therefore to be some bad news, but if we all recognise, talk up and celebrate the positive, amazing things happen.
  46. Be an agent for change. Everything happens with a first word, or first step be that person that initiates it, you have permission, there is nothing to stop you.
  47. Document the moment. Take a picture, write it down…in the years and months to come these records will make you feel alive, whether tears or laughter they will take you right back to the place and time.
  48. Tuck a little cash away every month and ensure you take family holidays while the kids are still young enough and still interested, these truly are golden moments.
  49. Communicate. Listen as well as talk, question and try to understand….in everything you do!
  50. Love. Love yourself, your parents, your children, your friends, your colleagues, even your enemies. John Lennon was right – Love really is all you need!
Posted on:
Mon, 31/10/2016 - 20:10

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Totally lost my appetite for sport, and I am not complaining in the sightest......another bill paid.....keeping things lean.

Feeling so so much better :)

Sbb 

Posted on:
Thu, 03/11/2016 - 22:15

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

One of the happiest, most content months I can remember.

Not one urge to gamble, successful at work, peace broken out at home, Bills paid, promises kept!

This IS the ONLY way forward for me, no looking back....those dark days are over.

Sbb

Posted on:
Fri, 04/11/2016 - 22:59

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hi well done and love post 26, it's just so great being gf, wished I had seen the light years ago, best wishes to you and your family, stay positive x 

Posted on:
Sat, 05/11/2016 - 10:32

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Anon100 wrote:

Hi well done and love post 26, it's just so great being gf, wished I had seen the light years ago, best wishes to you and your family, stay positive x 

Thank You Anon100 - Its the positive thoughts that are making this work for me, im enjoying the new ride. Stay strong :) x

 

Posted on:
Sun, 06/11/2016 - 21:51

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Another weekend circumnavigated, without any desire to gamble.

I am beginning to make my own luck, and have started to notice things going my way.

Its almost as if life is starting to reward me for returning to it and staying strong.

Really beginning to enjoy this journey, my competitive spirit has turned it into a battle and Im not going on to the ropes let alone going to hit the canvas.

The prizes are these great feelings of pride. passion and positivity.......i really forgot they existed.

Having had a flavour of them now for 33 days, i want them forever!

Stay strong all.

Sbb 

Posted on:
Mon, 07/11/2016 - 14:23

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

So invited to a mates house to watch the England Scotland match, numerous old buddies will be there, the booze will flow and the conversation will be like the old times.

However today I have heard there is a poker school planned for after the game!

Have gone straight back to the organiser and advised ill be heading to the pub after the game because i cant be around the gambling.

I have also explained why, and he couldnt have been more supportive - honesty really is the best policy!

I feel I have to do what I have to do, most people will understand, those who wont dont matter :)

Stay strong everyone

Sbb

 

Posted on:
Sun, 13/11/2016 - 14:54

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Had a right good session on Friday, and actually managed to openly tell everyone, that i was not wanting to play poker. I explained why, and couldnt have recieved any more support than i did. I compensated with copious amounts of guinness obviously :) The urge really has subsided to a level where despite having cash i have no desire to bet at all. The stress levels are subsiding and i am starting to enjoy my life again. I know there will be many rivers to cross in the days and weeks to come, but every gamble free day day will make me stronger and better equipped.

Looking forward to so many things right now, my love of life is returning :)

Have a great GF rest of day all!

 

Posted on:
Sun, 13/11/2016 - 23:44

Fra10

Joined:
2016-11-13

Massive congratulations on being over a month GF now. I too am a compulsive gambler and have been for the last 5 years. I however cannot control the urge to bet and even if I go a few weeks without a bet once that urge thats too strong comes a long I will do anything to put that bet on. I was wondering if you or anyone else reading this had any advice on how to control these urges? I have tried almost everything and I always give in and find a way to gamble. I have almost lost all hope for life and for my future. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/11/2016 - 13:34

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Milestone achieved....over 1000 hours without gambling. Feels so good. Next goal - 50 Days.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/11/2016 - 13:43

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Good to see your honesty with others in your last few posts SBB , or does help I believe as the addictions nowhere to hide ,  your obviously in a far better place these days and that's always great to see :)) congratulations on your 1000 hrs of being gamble free .  Keep doing what works my friend !   Best wishes Alan 

Posted on:
Sun, 20/11/2016 - 10:16

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Now openly able to discuss my challenges with gambling (which i really think is key). I still find my mind occassionally thinking 'thats a good price' and am still aware of the odd tiny inkling, but i have developed strategies to blow these out my mind. Thoughts of sitting on Baga Beach in Goa three months from now, sipping cold beer, all paid for by not gambling is more than enough motivation.

However a far happier atmosphere at home, no more sleepless nights, bills being paid instead of juggled or missed as well as making it a half century, then a centrury are all driving me forward.

Roll on Wednseday, im going to be stoked when i make it :)

Have a great GF Sunday everyone.

Sbb

Posted on:
Wed, 23/11/2016 - 00:49

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

A maiden half century for Skyblueblue. 

He handled everything that was thrown at him with ease and aplomb.

He looks more than capable of staying at the crease and looks to be savouring every second.

This innings is going to last a lifetime.

Stoked, and totally in control for the first time ever. #Awakened

Sbb 

Posted on:
Sat, 26/11/2016 - 08:48

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

All months bills paid within first half hour of being paid.

This morning at Christmas Fair with wife and littlest one, before a sneaky bar lunch.

Few pints with mates this afternoon and a movie and take away this evening with family.

Tomorrow im hitting the 'pay' button for my Feburary trip to India :)

I have at long last the money to do these things (still have gambling debt but am chipping away at it nicely).

What is just as important is that i have both the time and the energy to enjoy these moments again, no longer thinking constantly about sports and odds, no longer consumed with gulit and wracked with worry!

My life has turned around in less than two months, thats how quickly things can change.

I also know fine well it only takes one wrong choice to obiterate EVERYTHING.

I really am done with gambling, I can feel it deep in my heart.

Thank you to everyone for their support, i walk with you all.

Sbb

Posted on:
Fri, 02/12/2016 - 13:51

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Its so wonderful to have cash in the bank, the bills getting paid, making plans for family holidays, no worries over the cost of Christmas, holding my head high (and being successful) at work, relationships coming together again.......

I have had my epiphany - Luck is not something that just happens, its something we all have the power to control.

Since I became GF good fortune has followed me, that may be because im giving off different vibes, but i really thing its simply down doing good things, making good choices and being honest with others as well as yourself.

Life is as good as it has been in such a long time........and Gamcare and the people on here are a massive part of my success so far.

Thank You - Lets get stronger (and happier) together.

Sbb

Posted on:
Thu, 08/12/2016 - 09:17

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Now in my tenth gamble free week, and feeling stronger by the day.

My awareness of who I am, and what things set me on the wrong path are becoming more and more clear. 

1) Conflict in any form has driven me to gamble.

2) Stress in any form had the same outcome.

3) A lack of goals/purpose have had the same again.

4) Relationship issues brought me to gamble too.

For me I have realised that gambling was a reaction to the things above, on other occasions it could have been booze or recreationals or any two or all three from three !

Of course I need to concentrate on the gambling, but it is looking at coping strategies for the root causes that are paying dividends.

Whilst i dont profess to have nailed them all, I now have a transparent financial plan in place which has family holidays as goals as well as moving towards being debt free.

By being open about my addiction i have found others have been more open too, and relationships are gently developing again.

For Conflict, I am leaning to walk away and when Stressed I am reading (which i never did) or exercising (which i never did).

I have read about others on here choosing to get fit/stop smoking at the same time as dealing with the gambling demon, at first i thought 'one is enough', but now totally get it.

This is about life changes for me, not just gambling.

Heading confidently towards my maiden century, stay strong all!

Ssb 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2016 - 07:46

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Hello weekend my new found friend,

Financial losses at an end.

I had been chasing rainbows all my life,

Now its friends, children and wife.

No mindless splurges, loathing and deceipt,

No house full of plastic pens and crumpled receipts.

No more need to duck and dive,

Its Saturday morning and i feel alive!

Plans to make and places to go,

Feeling joyous, rather than low.

Losing that feeling of being alone,

No more overdrafts or payday loans.

This morning's sky my be cloudy, but my thinking is clear,

Because i really want it, i have nothing to fear.

So Saturday and Sunday have returned to being mine,

And my passion for life is returning with time.

Taking steps on the road to who i want to be,

A father, a husband, a friend - Gamble Free

Sbb  

 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2016 - 08:54

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Sbb, I salute you and what an enjoyable, uplifting, determined diary too. You are heading towards a fantastic Christmas and wish you the very best as you continue this life journey.

Posted on:
Sat, 10/12/2016 - 09:54

Proudarab

Joined:
2016-10-18

Thanks for your kind words on my diary SBB, it's appreciated.

Enjoy your weekend.

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 21:03

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

When i awake i will have smashed 70 days or 100,000 minutes without even a thought or urge to gamble.

The transformation has been incredible, and my wellbeing is far better for it.

I am feeling stronger by the day and plan to make 2017 the very best my family and I have had.

Onwards and upwards

Stay Strong all.

Ssb

Posted on:
Mon, 12/12/2016 - 23:39

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Sbb, may I use your poem above on our thread "We can and we will?". It would really help us. Won't do so without your permission. Cheers, Mixer

Posted on:
Wed, 14/12/2016 - 06:59

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Mixer wrote:

Sbb, may I use your poem above on our thread "We can and we will?". It would really help us. Won't do so without your permission. Cheers, Mixer

. Hi mixer, I would be honoured. Crack on - loving your passion, it's helping many. Ssb

Posted on:
Wed, 14/12/2016 - 07:26

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Thanks Sbb, appreciate the use of your poem and your kind comment. I truly want us all to  succeed. 

Posted on:
Wed, 14/12/2016 - 18:18

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Glad to hear your still going strong sky, keep it up, well done x

Posted on:
Thu, 15/12/2016 - 09:29

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Away on business this week and realise I have totally lost my appetite for sport.

I feel having escaped from the evil clutches of gambling I now have head space to concentrate on something more positive in the new year.

God forbid I might even buy a fitbit and lose some weight !

For those of you just starting out, I'm now ten weeks in and my life has turned around dramatically....stick with it, ride the storm, the waters do get calmer!

Looking forward to my first financially stress free Xmas in many many years.

Have a strong day everyone !!

Sbb

Posted on:
Thu, 15/12/2016 - 10:13

Proudarab

Joined:
2016-10-18

Hey SBB,

Glad to hear you're doing well mate and thanks for your continued support on my diary.

I bought a Fitbit in March and I've put on weight!!!  Although the stresses of gambling combined with comfort eating have contributed to that more than anything.

I'll be knocking off the pounds after Xmas, both the debt and weight wise.  Fitbit is quality though.  Go for it!!  I have he one where it tells you you're heart rate and sleep quality.  The difference in the last week for me is incredible.

PA

Pages