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There is light....believe me

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 18/10/2017 - 15:24

Kicking it

Joined:
Before 2009

Hello everyone.

I wanted to come on here and share what I have achieved over the past 4 years, since I last wrote on here.

First of all my reasons behind not writing on here for 4 years.......at the beginning I was hooked with all the comments which made me want to really kick the habit but then they became less and less and it felt like no one was bothered about what I wrote and no one was following my stories.

Well here goes with my success story.....

6 years a go I was at the lowest point in my life, living at home.  I had being going out with my partner for 2 years and she had no idea of the 36k debt I had amassed through my addiction. My Mother found out and forced me to tell her as she felt she needed to know as our relationship was getting serious.  My mother, bless her tried everything to help me, including clearing my first debt build up but that just made me worse.  At this point no one I knew trusted me and I had absolutely nothing but gambling and and alcohol which made me feel suicidal.  I don't know why my partner stayed with me at this point, I really don't.....what a waste of space I was!

The last 6 years has been a long old road and I have relapsed at least 4 times during that period.  Including my wife finding out 2 weeks before our wedding that ' I had done it again'.  Even the tears and broken heart I caused and the threat of her leaving did not stop me and I relapsed again straight after the wedding managing to keep it from he until 15th March 2015.  This day was the turning point....I was due to go to dublin that week for my best mates 30th Bday but lost everything I had and there was no way I could go.  I worried all day at work how I was going to tell my wife.  she got home from work and I burst in to tears right in front of her(something she had never witnessed) I told her everything and could not begin to explain how sorry I was.  I was sure our relationship would be over and I would lose the love of my life......but she believed in me one last time, I was adamant I was not going to dublin but she lent me £400 and said go and enjoy your weekend.  I have not gambled since!!

Me admitting to my wife that I was an addict was the breakthrough I needed as I was always in denial and always thought I could make money but I could never control my gambling, one bet led to another and another and a another.......I wanted more!! whatever I won was never enough.

Fast forward over 2 1/2 years and I have never been as comfortable about my addiction and very rarely feel the urge to relapse.

I have worked my**** off to repay my debt.... but not only that, 3 months ago I became a homeowner...the proudest and best feeling of my life to date!! I had tears in my eyes and my wife telling me how proud she was of what I had achieved.  I have a beautiful wife, a big amazing house and we both have nice cars......that for me gives me everything I need to fight my addiction even though I know I could be seconds away from my next bet.

Having my wife believe in me has helped me kick it and at this point in my life I have no debt worries, I can sleep at night and don't wake up worrying my wife will find out my big secret.

For anyone starting out on the road to recovery I do not envy you as there is going to be tears, heartbreak and relapses but I assure you there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am a living example of what can be achieved.

If I could help one other person to kick it I would be a happy chap....I strongly believe only a gambling addict understands a gambling addict and would be happy to assist in talking to someone about what helped me.

My addiction will be with me for life but I am winning and always will be winning for the rest of my life.......

Be strong

Kicking IT

Posted on:
Wed, 18/10/2017 - 15:42

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Great post.........good to read sucess stories and you are proof things can be turned around for the better,well done on changing the life around a great example to those of us on here just starting out of what can be achieved........well done.

Posted on:
Sat, 21/10/2017 - 19:30

Thompson9

Joined:
2017-08-17

You are an inspiration, amazing job on beating it and getting your life back on track. I'm 59 days gamble free and beginning to feel how amazing the gamble free life is.

Posted on:
Sat, 21/10/2017 - 19:35

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Kicking it,

A big congratulations to you on your achievement as a gamble free person, for having paid all your debts, and you’ve now  become a home owner. Above all, you’re back here to testify and encourage others, and also to give them hope – using your story, the support you received from your wife and Gamcare as a good example of hope and hard work. Well done, you!

I’m also glad to know you’re now very aware of yourself, and not at all complacent about what you’ve been through,  and your journey to recovery.

Keep up the good work, and please keep posting!

Best wishes,

Beatrice

Posted on:
Sun, 22/10/2017 - 08:26

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Kicking It

Congratulations on now being a home owner, what a great feeling that must be, and all through both your own and your wife's hard work. Hats off to your wife too for being so supportive throughout all of your gambling troubles and beyond.

Myself and my wife have been planning an extension on our house for a few years but we have acrrued too many debts to get a re-mortgage, mainly due to my gambling. After years of struggling with my addiction I had some form of lightbulb moment 73 days ago and so far I have remained gamble free.  We now estimate that we should be able to re-mortgage in 18 months time and I am determined to achieve that goal.  ODAAT and who nows in 18 months I hope to share my own success story.   Keep up the great work fella, you are doing great and you should be extremely proud of what you have achieved.

46 and Out 

Posted on:
Mon, 23/10/2017 - 12:57

Kicking it

Joined:
Before 2009

Thank you for all the positive comments. 

You have all done really well starting on this journey and admitting to the problem which was the biggest step for me. 

It is not easy but you will feel better and please keep getting the support you need.  I will take the time to read through your stories.  Time seems like an eterniity and I felt that was partly why I relapsed as I thought I would never get out of debt and be normal again...but in reality time passes sooo fast and taking it step by step is certainly the best way to go.  Setting goals is such an important part as when you reach them goals you feel amazing.....

Kicking IT

Posted on:
Mon, 23/10/2017 - 14:28

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Great post mate inspiration for myself right there,I'm only starting on my road but I'm also looking to be a homeowner for the first time,it's gona take maybe 2 years for me and girlfriend to save up for a mortgage but I know we can,I saved 1500 now over 15 weeks hopefully I can continue it and hopefully I won't relapse,she has control of my card now so she gona help me to kick this addiction,so in 2 years fingers crossed il be like you without the relapses I hope but you are my inspiration right now,well done mate.