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Stop messing about - You just can't gamble anymore

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 01/05/2013 - 08:05

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Right lets get back to basics, stop messing about and take this seriously. Life is hard enough without gambling. I had a brief diary under the name D999 but now I'm changing my username to the one in which I've had the most success. Why all the name changes - no idea. Nothing makes sense when I'm gambling. I just cannot get my head to realise how much pain it can cause me and I will never be able to place just a little bet. I went in a bookies yesterday not sure why and a little footy bet turned in to £90 then before I knew it was up to £140. Crazy stuff I can't afford £100+ loses I can't afford £10 loses at the minute - so why can't I stop?!?!?!? Luckily I got £90 back for madrid winning but still £50 down the drain and me feeling like an idiot not to mention my plans of chilling out yesterday were ruined by wasting time in the bookies then watching the footy (I like watching footy but had other things plan that didn't involve me panicking and stressing as I felt I was going to lose my dough once more). Anyway must make myself realise I need help. I need to stop and I need to take this recovery serious once again.

Day 1. How many day 1's have there been? So, so many. I've had enough. Please let this be the last. Do I think it will be? No. I don't exactly have great form. I need this tho. I hate life at the minute and to be honest I've got a lot more the most. Married to a great women and in a job I like. But I'm in so much debt and its so stressful managing all this and to know that it's all my fault drives me crazy. I just want to press reset and start again. So lets start again. Here I am. I've told my brother I can't gamble again. Lets hope I don't let him down, me down or my wife down - again!

Posted on:
Wed, 01/05/2013 - 09:08

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Just read mancity51 diary. If you haven't read it I recommend it to you. A story of success. Great to read someone beating this thing.

I will stop gambling one day at a time.

Posted on:
Thu, 02/05/2013 - 13:26

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Day 1. Yep that's right day 1. Weak is the only word had no intentions of gambling but yet when the opportunity came I couldn't stop. Need to say no. Need to break away from its clutches that are so strong, this battle has been going on so long now. I've been on this site for over 3 years now. And I'm on day 1?!?!? If I stopped then what would life be like - a clearer head and lots more money for a start. I've lost thousands in those three years. Ruined many days and said no to many things could I'd rather gamble. That's enough looking back. Here we go again.

Posted on:
Thu, 02/05/2013 - 14:41

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

david
fella welcome back to the forum, well done for finding the courage to find yourself back here. Now the hard work begins. hard work that will reward you far greater than any punt will ever do.
My advice the same advice that has got me to 15 months gamble free and in a far greater sense of mindset than I ever have been.
there is a triangle Time-money-location take one away and the punt becomes impossible. Giving you a chance to work on that addled brain, you in my mind mind wear the same "gambling goggles" I did and all other compulsive gamblers, with them on I cannot win because I cannot stop, life becomes distorted and out of focus, our addiction will always find us oppurtunity to gamble.
Well put some blocks in place give yourself the 100% payrise as an outcome.
Ultimatley you have a choice, it is your resolve to beat this addiction.
Be kind to yourself, you are doing something amazing, and from my point of view there is nothing better and rewarding than recovery and what it brings.
Take things one day at a time.
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Posted on:
Thu, 02/05/2013 - 16:26

Ade2

Joined:
2013-03-17

Hi David,
Just wanted to echo what Duncs has already so brilliantly posted.

Get your head as clear as you can. It may take a while, even the odd relapse or two. There is no shame in that (I have the T-shirt!).
But, and it's a big but, you will beat this hell if you really want to. Clearing that head from the gambling urges is indeed tough as they are so engrained in us at times it seems they really do defy all logic.
I myself turn into a zombie for days on end and have punted on shite that I have little or no knowledge about just to be gambling.

8 days ago I was so sick with relapsing and being generally weak that I spoke to a friend and got some of this out in the open. It helped me to get my head above the water and breath a bit.
Just enough to realise that I was slowly drowning in my repetative gambling state. Not much had changed in my 5 years of 'recovery'.

Like you I have had enough. We can beat this - We can.

MW

Posted on:
Fri, 03/05/2013 - 10:15

Neveragain121016

Joined:
2011-10-04

Thanks magic and duncs. Much appreciated and i need all the help i can get right now. I am happy to say I made it to day 2. Looking forward I have decided to bring back my old diary. A fresh start is needed but I also need to remember just how hard this all is and also that it can be done, I have done it. So I'll sign off here and if you would like to please join me on the new/old diary.