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#1 Posted on:
Sun, 26/11/2017 - 21:31

Mumofboys

Joined:
2017-11-23

So a bit about me..

I have two little boys (2 & 4) and a brilliant and supportive husband. Two years ago I was diagnosed with post natal depression (still on antidepressants) at around the time my Dad retired. He was a brilliant support for me and great with the children. Then in January 2016 he died very suddenly and I lost a part of me I couldn't cope without.

I started on bingo sites but quickly moved onto slots as a distraction from my life. A few good wins soon turned into lots of losses and I've hidden the extent of it from my husband. I have a good job, we are just buying our first house, things are looking up for us but yet I can't stop gambling. I last played this morning and have set another cooling off period.

Maybe I need to set small goals? Any advice gratefully received on how people started?

Posted on:
Sun, 26/11/2017 - 21:45

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello,

First i would say get the blocks in place that i said in your other post. If you can stop your access to gamble, you can't gamble. You need some time out of the cycle of gambling and the blocks will give you peace of mind knowing you can't gamble. Ideally this involves telling someone close to you. If you can they can look after your finances and take the pressure of dealing with money away from you for a while so you can get your head straight. Sort out a budget and just not have to worry about the money side of things for a while.

Secondly you sound like you could really benefit from counselling. You need to talk to people that understand what you are dealing with. They will be able to direct you better than i can. You can talk this out with them. Give the guys here a call and they will get you some help (its all free). Personally i had a lot of things i have bottled up and kept up the "im ok image" and just got on with life. This kept me in my gamblers world. It's totally understandable you are having a hard time dealing with what you have gone through. Its ok to ask for help, its what they are here for.

As for the gambling it will be an up and down journey. Its hard to stop what has become a part of our life/routine but you can beat it. Focus on not gambling one day at a time and just let the days look after themselves.

Stay active on here it does help even to just type out how you feel and get things off your chest.

All the best!

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 21:29

Mumofboys

Joined:
2017-11-23

Thank you for the advice. I organise all the finances for my family as it's complicated and my husband works outside so doesn't have access to a computer like me.

I have tried grief counselling but I found it too hard and it made me feel more depressed every time I went. I might try hypnotherapy as that has worked for me in the past.

Made it through 36 hours now and feeling hopeful x

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 21:38

Backontrack

Joined:
2017-11-27

 

keep going, lets try and get to 1 week together. Grief is an awful thing when you are in the thick of it. All the best for the week x

 

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 21:46

Horall

Joined:
2017-09-23

I’m similar to you ... started when I was on Mat leave, small amounts... stayed like that for years ... but it’s gone crazy the last 6 months.

I’m just taking it a day at a time... together we can beat this ! 

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 10:05

Mumofboys

Joined:
2017-11-23

48 hours in and I've taken a positive step and booked an appointment to see a hypnotherapist next week. Done my budget for the next month too and am trying to get our finances back on track.

Also have decided that I am going to be brave and confess all to my husband. He is wonderful and supportive and I know it will be ok but it's my pride that has stopped me telling him as I'm so ashamed of myself.

Thanks for your support, it really helps knowing I'm not the only one going through this! X

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 08:03

Mumofboys

Joined:
2017-11-23

I joined another new site 2 days ago and have spent a load of money we don't have. Feeling deeply ashamed

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 09:11

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi mumofboys, I'm sorry to see you still continuing. You need to start making some really hard decisions. Did you tell your husband? If you tell him you can start getting support. Hand over the finances and block any access to money. Willpower isn't working. Do you really want to stop? you talk about postnatal depression and grief counselling. Maybe you could go back to your gp and tell them. You need to reach out and tell someone. If nothing else go to a GA meeting. Call gamcare and talk to someone. You have to change something otherwise the cycle continues.