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the secret

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#1 Posted on:
Sat, 04/02/2017 - 22:42

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So ive slipped again, ive had feelings of wanting to play poker throughout January but have managed to resist. Ivealso resisted fruit machines by not going to pub. Well Friday I slipped on the poker from and because I had slipped on the poker front I slipped on the fruit machine front the next day. I spent twenty pounds in January on going out as I'm saving for holiday in march. I then went and spent 80 ish pounds this weekend on absolutely nothing of worth. The weekend before I had looked at some trainers for thirty pounds, some aftershave fo rd 16 and a rucksack for thirty but decided against it. Then a week later I do this what is wrong with me. I recently saw a video called the secret its about how to make a success of ud life. It says u write down ur wants, immerse ur thoughts into perceivinc you already have the items then you will receive them. It works the opposite way too ic yoh don't want something and you thjnj yoh donrt want ig to happen to much it will happen e.g. Like I don't want to be late for work, I don't want to gamble etc. So then u draw a board with ur wants in pictures

Posted on:
Sat, 04/02/2017 - 22:47

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

​once uve asked for the things for life and drawn the board and spent a few minutes each day beleiving that you will have and picturing how you will feel when you have it you just have to work towards ilife and wait for ur wants to materialise. I know this sounds very far fetched doesn't it but I'm gonna give it a go. I have spent sooooooo long thinking about not gambling and not smoking and howbad it is for me that this could show me that I'm thinking too much about it and thus it is attracted to me

Posted on:
Sat, 04/02/2017 - 22:53

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

I would like a job with progression , to live smoke free and to go on holiday once a year to one of the holiday destinations on my bucket list. ​

Posted on:
Sat, 04/02/2017 - 23:02

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

As I don't want to think about not gambling too much I will now restrict the time I think about gambling so I will spend less time on this site. I usually come on here for a couple of hours a day and find I'm thinking about gambling throughout so now I will come on and post once a week on a weekend to say how my wants and desires are coming along I may even add some material things to my list and add these to my drawing board.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/02/2017 - 01:15

I will save mys...

Joined:
2016-06-15

Hi there

It would be great to read how you are getting on in your progress. How about making a diary so that you have a place to visit/post and reflect.

Sometimes being here and writing about the recovery can lead to thoughts of gambling but if you dont mind me saying I think thats because we are not strong enough yet. Hopefully there will come a time when being on here will be your fleeting two fingers up to the addiction.

Take care

Posted on:
Sun, 05/02/2017 - 08:46

random

Joined:
2013-02-16

Hello Attraction,

I have seen that documentary and very much believe in it and practice it. I had opportunity which I believe was because I'd 'attracted' it, although it was not my main goal but it was a significant step in the right direction. I think it works by constantly reminding yourself of goals or accomplishments therefore I found decisions I was making I was taking into consideration my goals which I would remind myself of frequently by righting them down or an attraction board which i see everyday.

I don't know if this will help you but it certainly helped me and I have mentioned it on here before a book called the Power Of Habit, it helped me understand why i was gambling when i should of been working or at the gym and in debt. I often felt it was automatic for me to wake up go on my laptop or phone and gamble, i think it got to a point where there wasn't any thoughts it was automated.

Stay strong there is light at the end of the tunnel I'm around 16 months gamble free and it's no longer a constant thought, I'm just dealing with the aftermath with debt and trying to become a better person out of the other end.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/02/2017 - 09:41

Cynical wife

Joined:
2015-06-23

It's easy enough to change your user name again, hard to make the real changes in you. It involves doing what you don't want to do, meetings, habitual barriers, new culture. But nothing (apart from your user name) changes if nothing changes.

CW

Posted on:
Sun, 05/02/2017 - 23:12

Julie 35

Joined:
2016-11-18

I have read The Secret and it changed my life back in 2008 when I was un-employed and needing a change up.  It happened and it is a good thing to work on.  You have to be committed to change though.  You have to think thoughts of moving on from gambling, and doing other things.  You cannot trick yourself into doing it, you have to believe that you will stop gambling and you will then attract it into your life. Best of luck

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 20:02

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hello I'm back for my weekly update, I'm pretty excited about all of this, ask, perceive and receive. What I am grateful for is family, health, job, flat and holidays. So here I am at the end of the first weekthinking positivly about life is paying off. I wont say I haven't gambled, I'm allways honest if nothing else lol. I missed my poker friends so I went to Tuesday poker five pounds. Also Thursday poker five pounds. I also played football on Monday five pounds very young athletic players boy I was knackered and couldn't keep up. I watched the yes man film today fifth time and it shows you what positivty can get u. I'm playing football at nine am tomo then out for a couple of jars with a mate. Just playing Sunday billion poker tourney free on Sunday one thousand players usually bed so far twelth.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 20:06

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

​so as the secret stated in drawing up a list of wants for this year and one for the future. Material wants I love music and film so I would like a docking station for my mobile for you tube I'm in a whatsapp group with mates how talk about different music so ill spend five hours a week listening.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 20:07

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Id like a sound bar for my tv for films and some shelves for my DVDs and cds.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 20:12

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

2017 the plan:

​march, snowboarding France two months pay cheque. Road trip cant wait.June Shoreham music festival fatboy slim with sister.August reading festival muse and kasabian Saturday.healthy lifestyle. Football twice a week Tuesday and Saturday. No smoking it gives me more energy.play poker games five pounds each Monday and Thursday night.but to do this no fruit machines is a must.reading books

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 20:15

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Coffee shops on weekends when cash allows.

​job with progression, learn all there is to know about managing supplies delpartment so I'm in a good position to take over from my manager I n two years. Its the best job ive had so id like to stick with it. First pdr went well.lastly holiday in September very cheapanywhere hot.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/02/2017 - 21:45

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Thanks for the posts guys, I do see the automatic gambling habbit as a problem too, last Saturday I was sitting having a coffee and I automatically thought right ill have a jd and coke in the pub just one but what I was actually giving myself a reason to go to the pub and put a tenner in the fruit machine then two hours later I'm walking home fifty pounds lighter. And it was all automatic habbit. I just need to break that pub habbit, not ban myself from pub because I enjoy meeting friends and fruit machines will allways be there, I just need to learn to not go on them and build that new habbit like not smoking. Tricky at first but it will get easier. First step pub tomo no gambling. Also this is definitely a good place to come for placing ur thoughts I will still come thanks for the replies.

Posted on:
Sun, 12/02/2017 - 19:24

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hello, so this weekend I started by playing football Saturday morning very good fun and scored a few goals. Then came back and concentrated on relaxing and trying to get rid of a cold and cough ive got. Back to work tomo. No gambling this weekend horray last gamble Thursday night. Over and out.

Posted on:
Sun, 12/02/2017 - 19:50

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

thoughts become things. I'm still trying to focus daily on what I want from the day rather than what I don't want. Positivity goes a long way.

Posted on:
Wed, 15/02/2017 - 20:06

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So I've reached day six of not gambling, tomo is a big day for me as its a poker night and a Thursday. The number of times I've sat in my room typing late on a Thursday about losing lots of money that night and going back to day one. Not this time, I'm going to stay in tomo, read diarys and come on chat. My boss is off for a week and has left me in charge so its good experience, part of my plan to take over from her in the future coming along nicely. Ive not been well this week so I'm not playing football.

Posted on:
Wed, 15/02/2017 - 20:10

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

​ive been taking mixers holiday advice and it looks like ill go to Barcelona in September, one more destination I really want to visit horray go me. I haven't even thought about smoking for a good couple of weeks and have saved 170 pounds so far a long with the health benefits. Id still like to go play poker but I feel I should only do this once every month or so to save enough money for my holiday plus fruit machines allways pull me in.

Posted on:
Wed, 15/02/2017 - 20:22

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

​actually thinking about it without the material things I would like ive already got all the things ive asked for for 2017 and beyond, job with progression check, smoke free life check, holidays once a year check

Posted on:
Wed, 15/02/2017 - 20:28

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So I need a new more challenging unobtainable want to make it more challenging. From news till now ibve​

Posted on:
Wed, 15/02/2017 - 20:33

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

That should have said from new years till now ive spent 120 pounds on gambling all in the space of three occasions. Now I would like to spend six pounds a month on poker and nothing more on gambling, no fruit machines, no casinos, that's it. I'll go to one night to keep in touch with mates and that's it. Sound fair ?

Posted on:
Sat, 18/02/2017 - 21:02

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

If at first u don't succeed try again, what do u do if u fail 100 times. Idont want to be negative but I've spent 62 pounds on gambling this weekend. I will look into self excluding from casinos tomo and strengthen my blocks. Here we go again take 200. If I can succeed It will be a great thing.

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 16:22

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So I'm going on a road trip to France start of march and I have no money so my spending money will come from my next pay cheque. So three hundred to spend on holiday hopefully ill be able to do it. Note to self extra planning needed next time.

Posted on:
Sat, 25/02/2017 - 17:58

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Here I am a week later, ive played my weekly Monday, Tuesday and Thursday pub games, I spent twenty pounds on the buyins altogether and a further fifteen pounds on drinks. No money into fruit machines this week which is progress. Ive just signed up to another two years living with my parents to save up money. I know it is however a long time and it would be good to have my own place but i need to pay some money I owe them and this is the best way. I am going to France on Thursday and luckily I get paid on Tuesday well the 28th whatever day that is so that will give me my spending money then have a good tine and cut back on spending the rest of the month. My manager was saying how she personally wouldn't want to live with her parents and I can see her point and I would like to be independent however it is the most sensible thing to do and I'm not meeting any ladies at the mo so I'm not losing out . Ive just got my clothes sorted for the weekend and ill buy 200 euros on payday. Then I'm off work Wednesday thru to Monday back to work Tuesday. I would like to give thanks for the holiday and all the good times over the past month, ive had a good time and I will definitely enjoy France hopefully I wont injure myself.

Posted on:
Mon, 06/03/2017 - 15:37

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So holiday in France done back yesterday and back to work tomo. Boy did I have a good time. Snowboarded for one day and found an awesome pub with a dj at the top of the mountain dance about and drunk cider then cruised down the mountain very jolly. Also went out for some nice meals and generally enjoyed myself. I spent 500 on the whole weekend four days and that was spending wisely its like fifteen for a main meal and seven for a drink so pretty prisey. Really love travelling and I feel if I can stop my gambelling then ill have more for that.

Posted on:
Mon, 06/03/2017 - 15:42

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

The last time I gambled was six days ago and that was just six pounds on poker and got a fiver back. I'm now going to a drum and bass festival on bank holiday Friday good Friday Easter. Ive spent all my months spending money on the holiday so ill stay in till pay day end of the month then spend quite a bit on that. End of this month ill buy some shelves for my bedroom happy days.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/03/2017 - 22:21

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

So its been a tough evening but a positive one, ive been debating with my gambling mind all day with thoughts of going to casino on Friday I even sorted a lift there and back with mates. Ive come to the correct decision about not going and thought id pop back on here to write my thoughts. After work I set up a spreadsheet went through my online bank statements and looked up how much ive spent on gambling in the start of 2017. So far I had a really good January with no gambling then spent 68 pounds on poker through Feb and a further one hundred pounds on fruit machines. I spent in total on all going out and holiday two hundred January, four hundred Feb and already four hundred in march. So eight hundred year to date on holiday and going out.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/03/2017 - 22:26

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Actually its 1000 total so three hundred each month.ive had a holiday and would usually spend seven hundred on that so alls not that bad. I will tighten up over rest of this month . I'm going to write on my spreadsheet all my outgoings in an attempt to make myself more accountable for spending.

Posted on:
Sun, 12/03/2017 - 17:42

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

so ive had a lovely weekend, i stayed in friday night then went to town saturday afternoon and bought some clothes, then went out for two drinks saturday night as my mate had an argument with his wife so i met up with him for a bit.  Then today watched spurs anialate millwall, then been listening to the liverpool game hoping they do well for my fantasy team howver so far none of my players have any extra points.  Looking at booking up a holiday for september soon so going to save up for that soon.  Gambling wise i played poker on monday, tuesday and thursday this week which as i won on tuesday didnt cost me anything for the week.  Then spent 84 ponuds this weekend on clothes 72 and beers 12.  will buy shelves at end of the month......

Posted on:
Mon, 13/03/2017 - 23:06

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

I was happily on chat tonight then a friend text me about poker and a minute later I'm on the way down there. Ive played three times last week and bought clothes and been out for drinks and been on holiday last week I'm liv I'm nng way wag way way beyond my means. I owe my parents a lot of money and I'm not paying enough back. From today my new goal is to reduce my spending. I would like to spend alot less I will write up a budget tomo after work and come up with a plan. I would also like to keep my poker to once a week. I have played today so I will not play again this week that is my plan just need to action it.

Posted on:
Mon, 13/03/2017 - 23:10

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Why o why didn't I keep with my 2017 plan I would be sixty odd days clean now...I need to get some positives from this buf I cant find any.....

Posted on:
Mon, 13/03/2017 - 23:38

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

One comment from odaat really struck a chord with me "u need to find out how to live a life without gambling in it " its sooooooo true how can I. I can go a week, two weeks, even a month a couple of times a year without gambling but I then cant resist the urge. So what's the sec redret when I get these urges. I really need to know ? Anyone out there found out the key to living the gamble free life. I gues recovering alcoholics cant go in pubs. Does that mean I cant go in pubs to with fruit machines. Because as soon as i have a drink in on them or looking at people playing them

Posted on:
Tue, 14/03/2017 - 14:41

AussieMike

Joined:
2017-03-14

Chopps, G’day mate, I’ve read a fair few of your posts this avro,

 

What stands out for me cobber is that you are all over the place friend, stop this here, start this here, commit to stopping this, failing in stopping that. I’m no knocker mate, but it’s all or nothing, stop completely, or give up – it is that simple; even if you were playing tuppences in a fairground somewhere, it would be 2p too much – those 2p’s will lead to 5p’s, then 10p’s, then pounds until you are right back where you were cobber.

 

There is no such thing as cutting down, there is no such thing as stopping this, but carrying on that. It is zero tolerance in every way, nothing else works. You want answers, you want to keep certain aspects of your lifestyle mate, but you can’t – it is all or nothing. I was the same as you, for a very long time, it took me a long time to stop kidding myself that there was any other way fella. Even after close to a million bucks, I still said I could throw away a few dollars and walk away with a smile, but I never could – we not only become the world’s best liars to others, but to ourselves as well mate, accept it fella, or face a lifetime making the same mistakes, over and over. Sorry friend, you seem like a good fella, that is why I am saying what I am cobber 

Posted on:
Tue, 14/03/2017 - 18:32

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Hi Chopps, listen to Mike...you know what the key is, you just don't like it. You know what your triggers are, you need to avoid those situations until you are stronger. No one says it's easy, depends how much you want to be gf.

Posted on:
Wed, 15/03/2017 - 13:11

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

thanks for the posts, I'm going to reread my diary's again tonight to give me a look into what I've been doing. I have to do the stop everything approach. When I stopped smoking I took myself out of tricky smoking situations for a month untill I was stronger and it worked. So I will do the same for gambling this time no pubs for a month......i will play football and tennis every Tuesday and Saturday and build up my confidence then in a months time start to try the pub again or stick to coffee shops... Thank you very much mike for ur input and for taking time to read.​

Posted on:
Sun, 19/03/2017 - 20:14

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

weekly update, ive not gambled but there is temptation everywhere.  ive stayed in all week, worked extra hours on saturday and overall it has been a productive week.  money spent on gambling zero horray.  Friends all going to casino or playing online lots of winning going on making it much more tempting for me.  I will however stay in next week and will save my hard earned money.  Just going to football on tuesday night and apart from that will stay in saving up money.  Really enjoyed my holiday a couple of weeks ago and hopefully this will start to being able to spend money on more of the same, holidays abroad.  If im sensible for two years ill be able to more out of my parent house and get my own place again.  Heres to what life can bring success.

Posted on:
Mon, 20/03/2017 - 18:30

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Just read my diary's and boy am I all over the place. I'm sure I have a short term memory problem as each day or week I completely forget what my current aims are. I am at moment looking to stay in apart from playing sports and save some money by not going out socially untill at least pay day. I might write my goals for the month at the top of my profile so I can see them daily or as a screensaver on my phone.

Posted on:
Wed, 22/03/2017 - 16:40

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Day nine alls good

Posted on:
Wed, 22/03/2017 - 20:56

Cynical wife

Joined:
2015-06-23

 Sorry to be harsh but I saw your post on another thread: "I'm the most honest person in the world and gambling makes me lie."

Whatever does that mean? That you're honestly the most honest person in the world, apart from when you're lying again because you're actively using again? Or that you're confused? Or that you're kidding yourself?

You've had a lot of sensible advice on your various diaries that so far you've  skirted round and ignored. Things will change if you change how you do things. Not otherwise.

Your choices, would be good to see you making better ones.

CW

Posted on:
Thu, 23/03/2017 - 10:09

Richard Hardy

Joined:
2017-03-23

f

Posted on:
Sun, 26/03/2017 - 21:59

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hi cw I just used to hide my gambling from my parents like playing online but not telling them that's all I meant. I am a very honest person and its the only thing ive ever lied about. If u don't believe me that's fine cw but id prefer not to have harsh comments on my diary however bad I'm doing I like to keep it positive. Well with that discussed ive had a lovely week and am looking forward to another enjoyable week ahead. I'm playing footy Tuesday, going out for a beer to meet an old friend ive not seen in a while on Saturday. Ive played poker this week in the pub but have only spent what I have budgeted for on my spreadshhet for going out. I'm starting my new diet tomo to lose weight and have still notsmoked a ciggerette since new years. I'm loving match.com ive signed up for six months today and will hopefully get some messages back from the ones ive sent out. Here's to a good new week.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/04/2017 - 20:55

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hi diary, excellent week plus weekend. Where do I start, diet going well down to 13.4 2 pounds off in a week go mr. Not thought about smoking horray. Went to poker Monday doh and Tuesday and Thursday doh out lots this week. Went out Saturday and met my best friend had a couple of half ciders then went out for a mates birthday all in all spent 85 this week going out 35 more than budgeted. Nothing planned this week but walks to burn off calories and saving money for bank holiday weekend...

Posted on:
Sun, 23/04/2017 - 21:29

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hello, so two weeks on and I'm up to the same stuff. Spent fifteen on fruit machines this weekend and went to poker Tuesday and Thursday. I'm going to change what I'm doing each day to start to meet different people and enjoy different experiences . I'm going to play poker Mondays , then football Tuesdays, tennis Sundays, then look out for new things to do and different people to meet. Ive had a mental relapse last week, started to hear voices in my head and see helusinations, so seen a doctor and upped my medication. I believed I could continue through work and managed to work all week. Ihave stalled on losing weight I'm 13.4 now up a pound on last time, just need to do more excercise. I'm still budgeting and have spent 400 a month so far through this year so far. So trying to spend two hundred a month.

Posted on:
Mon, 24/04/2017 - 11:01

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi chopps

Sorry to hear about the hallucinations. Sounds worrying. Glad you went to your doctor about it. How do you feel about the fruit machines?

Please keep us updated,

Forum Admin.

PS I think this thread would be better in Diaries rather than Overcoming Problem Gambling so I'm moving it.

Posted on:
Mon, 01/05/2017 - 23:36

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Weekly update, casino Saturday unfortunately could have gone horribly wrong, spent seventy. Tomo is day one for me going to work and will update on progress next weekend. Medication helping along with continuing to go to work.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/06/2017 - 21:44

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

I have my soundbar check and I have my dvd shelves check, horray