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Scared lost alone

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#1 Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 19:03

Silly

Joined:
2017-11-18

I feel so alone sick and scared. My family know nothing but my bank statements show all.. and I'm soon to be discovered and so scared of my family's reaction as well as being in serious trouble

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 19:30

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hello Silly,
You are not alone, we are all here with you and for you. We are all at different stages and have been down different roads but we are not alone.
I am very early on in my journey and maybe not the best person to give advice but I do know it's good to talk. I learned the hard way, bottled it up, kept it all to myself thinking I could beat it and ended up getting myself in debt. The way I saw it, I would be worse if my husband found out before I told him....so i told him. It was so hard but the best thing I ever did.
Is there any way of you opening up to your family?
Are you able to join the chat room at 8pm and talk to others? Or call the helpline and ask for advice?

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 19:38

Silly

Joined:
2017-11-18

Really silly I know but after what we just been through i really dont want to put this on him too. I have 3 children then 2 years ago we had a child together then one of his kids moved in a year ago and now go other three here too so 8 kids and I stupidly thought I could make some money to help get what was needed for the kids.Scared of hurting him and ruining our relationship

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 22:34

Natalie1983

Joined:
2017-11-18

Hi I'm so scared.  My partner has just found out I used all the savings on scratch cards.  I feel so alone and scared

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 22:36

Natalie1983

Joined:
2017-11-18

Silly my partner has found and I'm just scared of what's going to happen

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 23:02

Silly

Joined:
2017-11-18

I want to tell him but I just can't.. I feel so stupid so sick so scared and if I didn't have kids I think I'd run away

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 23:29

Bigsami23

Joined:
2017-11-18

I came clean to my wife on 3 weeks ago today. It was the best thing I've ever done.

I was struggling to sleep, being really short with my young children and just being a grumpy sod, I now have a new lease of life already, concentrating on my kids, my health and rebuilding my relationship. I know it's going to be a long road to regain the wife's trust, but coming clean and dealing with the problem has helped me no end.

just remember, your only here once and you can't go through life worrying, it's not good for your health and wellbeing.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 09:38

Silly

Joined:
2017-11-18

Really need to tell him.. as I just can't do this anymore .. but with 8 kids Here I don't know when's best and I am physically being sick

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 16:40

GamblerHelp

Joined:
2017-11-07

We've all been there. Its not pleasant.

Then when the kids have gone to bed tell him you've got a problem that you've been keeping from him. Tell him everything. Yes everything - its the only way.

He'll have questions. It will be emotional and exhausting, but it will be honest.

Direct him to my blog which should cover most of it. He probably already suspects you're having an affair, but might not know its with gambling.
 

It's the only way. Way better to confess than be discovered.

Good luck and we'll be here for you after.

Mike

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 11:30

GamblerHelp

Joined:
2017-11-07

Gamcare removed the link I posted in the previous comment, which contained the link to the blog about gambling which both you and your partner would find useful.

But to read it click on my name, follow the link to my addiction blog, and read the pieces “Questions for a gambler” and other relevant ones.

 

How did you get on?

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 15:59

Silly

Joined:
2017-11-18

Still not told him.. yup I'm a wuss
But I am day 4 and don't miss it or the stress it brings. Might feel stronger soon

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 18:20

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Hi silly...firstly well done in the four days....have you taken anysteps for support...
Rang the helpline ?
You'll really need some help love..
A household with 8 children must be very demanding...
Like you ....I was scared to tell hubby...but I'm my opinion it has to be done love...
And like you ...thought gambling would provide the money to pay/buy everything to sort my life out. ....well...as we know...that just doesn't happen..
Addiction thrives on secrecy.....
He may well go mad. ..probabally because he. ..as a none addict just simply doesn't understand...
But he needs to know love.x.

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 21:45

JL4376

Joined:
2017-11-21

Hi Silly I’m completely new to this. I have been gambling for ages run up a large sum and when we recently tried to get a mortgage we were refused. I obviously had to open up to my wife. It has nearly broke us, I’m hanging on in there, but said I will get help. I just contacted the Netline and they have referred me for counselling sessions. I’m glad I have opened up. The being secret was killing me. The chap in the end of the line was great

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 16:07

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

The title of this thread caught my eye and I am wondering how you're doing. It sounds like a really difficult time you're going through.

I know you said you were about to be found out as well as being in some serious trouble.

Whatever has happened, we are here to talk it through with you. So do call us on the helpline or netline for some support.

It sounds like you felt under pressure and wanted to try to make money. Although you can't change what has happened, you can put things in place to ensure it doesn't happen again.

I noticed in your post you said you hadn't gambled for four days. Well done for that and keep it going.

We are here when you're ready to talk.

Best wishes

Laura

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 16:31

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Natalie1983 wrote:

Hi I'm so scared.  My partner has just found out I used all the savings on scratch cards.  I feel so alone and scared

Natalie1983

I noticed your post on Silly's thread and wondered how you were getting on?

Perhaps you'd like to start your own thread in the New Members section of the forum. You are likely to get more support from others forum users that way.

Do give us a call if you would like to talk about this: there's lots of support here for you.

Best wishes

Laura