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Quitting gamcare site

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#1 Posted on:
Mon, 11/06/2018 - 21:44

greenflash

Joined:
2017-12-31

I have decided to quit the site as I feel I no longer have anything to say here. I joined 6 months ago and not gambled since. I have not gone down the GA route or counselling, which I know many here insist is the only way to quit properly, so I possibly do not fit in.

I have also become a little annoyed reading so many stories of gamblers relapsing because they do not put the blocks in place to help themselves. It feels like groundhog day reading it over and over. I do not think I have beaten this problem or that I am smarter than anyone else.

I just a need a good break, then maybe I will come back in the future and have a positive influence here.  Has anyone else felt like this at times when reading  across the site. Sorry for being negative folks.

All the best to everyone fighting this evil problem

 

Posted on:
Mon, 11/06/2018 - 22:01

Leedsfan333

Joined:
2018-05-30

 

greenflash wrote:

I have decided to quit the site as I feel I no longer have anything to say here. I joined 6 months ago and not gambled since. I have not gone down the GA route or counselling, which I know many here insist is the only way to quit properly, so I possibly do not fit in.

I have also become a little annoyed reading so many stories of gamblers relapsing because they do not put the blocks in place to help themselves. It feels like groundhog day reading it over and over. I do not think I have beaten this problem or that I am smarter than anyone else.

I just a need a good break, then maybe I will come back in the future and have a positive influence here.  Has anyone else felt like this at times when reading  across the site. Sorry for being negative folks.

All the best to everyone fighting this evil problem

 

Unfortunately, no matter how many blocks you put in place if you want to gamble and go through with it, you will find a way. Better to be GF for weeks or months having an odd relapse than gambling everyday without fighting it. I’ve also read about many success stories on here too.

Big congratulations on your 6 months clear, hopefully after a break you will check in on us and give us an update on how things are.  

All the best

Posted on:
Mon, 11/06/2018 - 22:12

ClaireB

Joined:
2017-05-28

Well done on six months gamble free! Having had a relapse myself only yesterday, after coming across an old and long forgotten tablet despite all other devices containing blocking software, I think many on here realise they have a problem but are not yet ready to close that final door. I find that many exclude themselves from sites at the time but purposely leave other avenues open as they are not fully ready to committ. This was also me last year and I now realise that I had not reached my rock bottom and wasn't quite ready to close fully close that door. Having come to my senses and the realisation that I cannot continue, I now have all blocks in place but it has taken many relapses to finally get here. We are all different and we have to do whatever it takes for ourselves. I find it helps coming on here as a reminder of what this addiction can do to people and how it devastates lives but can see where you are coming from. Best of luck on your journey and take care! 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 12/06/2018 - 07:47

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi green flash yes. I feel like that no one hears, listens, slips, relapse. But the thing you have to remember is that it's completely different for each person. Different things work for different people. We have to help otherwise no one would be hear to listen to us. Getting better is entwined with helping others. Giving back that advice that someone gave you. Some never stop, some stop the first day they get help. It's like learning to ride a bike, you might fall off a hundred times before you get you balance. You have to hope that someone reads and hears your advice and it gets through to them. 

Posted on:
Tue, 12/06/2018 - 13:23

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi Greenflash,
First of all I want to say well done on your 6 months being gamble free.

However, I am really struggling here to see what the point of your post is?

I’ve read your opening post on gamcare and it sounds like it wasn’t the first time you had been caught gambling. Why didn’t you put the correct things in place to stop you doing this at an earlier stage? Could it be due to the fact that they you were not really ready to stop back then?

People are at different stages of recovery again, some ready to stop and others that aren’t, and unfortunately many of them are going to fail. Fair play to anyone that keeps coming back on here no matter how many times that happens. I guess if it was that easy to stop then there would be any need for a site like this.

Believe me I can understand you frustration…I feel like I say the same things over and over to people on here, but all I need to do is think back to how I was before. I didn’t listen to what anyone said, I thought I knew what was best for me and I was going to be able to do it on my own. However if there is even if 1 person listens to what I say and it helps them to stop gambling then it will be worth it.

As someone who has been gamble free for a while you could offer some advice to newbies on here even of most wont take on what you say.

With regards to GA or counselling…I’m not sure I have really seen anyone push it on to anyone, but I feel if people are struggling then what harm will it do for them to give it a try? Some things will work for some, and something else will work for others. But by trying different things I feel like that gives you the best chance of stopping.

Anyway good luck with your journey and hopefully see you back on here at some point to let us know that you continue to live the gamble free life.
All the best
Damo

Posted on:
Tue, 12/06/2018 - 17:52

cardhue

Joined:
2013-01-18

You’re annoyed by people extolling GA/counselling and also by people relapsing. Rather intolerant aren’t you?

I don’t really understand people announcing they are going to stop posting. I suppose it’s a last ditch attempt at connection with others, but not a particularly successful way of doing so

Posted on:
Tue, 12/06/2018 - 20:19

greenflash

Joined:
2017-12-31

Cardhue, I am intloerant at many people on here who keep relapsing by gambling their wages or rent money, then announce they do not have any blocks in place. You will also notice that i only posted occasionally, in fact I would go for weeks without posting. So your comment that I was making 'a last ditch attempt at connection with others'  is based on no factual evidence whatsoever.

ITDamo.  Correct, it was not the first time I had been caught gambling, I did not put the blocks in place earlier as I did not want to stop. However I did not join the gamcare site then either. What is the point of joining gamcare, admitting you have a problem, seeking the advice then not bothering to put financial blocks in place.

Merry go round. Thanks for your advice, and sensible words. On reflection I think I have been selfish in my thinking, I had become annoyed reading some posts, particularly those who want to keep gambling in a controlled way. But I should offer advice to people who are desperate for help. I was wrong to generalise.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 02:08

bluescreen

Joined:
2018-03-13

I know what you mean. People coming on here in the aftermath of their latest binge, remorsefully announcing that they are done with gambling and absolutely convinced they'd never do it again.

Someone comes by, writes a lengthy post about how to tackle this properly, only to get a response of excuses why this or that is not an option. If they get a response at all, that is.

When they relapse, someone says 'What you tried oviously didn't work. You need a different approach. And proper blocks. No half measures and loopholes.'

Another set of excuses follows. Back to where it started. On it goes.

I also sometimes think... are they even listening? What's the point?

But then I take a breath and remember that I was no different. Not at all. I thought I could handle this, just needed to get a grip. I thought I would be too fed up with it to ever do it again, that the pain would be enough to keep me determined... until it faded...

I personally think that Rome wasn't built in a day. When you are through the worst, you know what works for you - and what doesn't. We sometimes seem to forget the repercussions that were necessary to eventually get there.

After a relapse we need to get on trying. Imagine people saying. 'Well... that was inevitable. Told you so.'
Even though it's definately true, it's not very helpful.

To keep it at bay, we have to learn to give this illness the respect it deserves, to never underestimate it. If there is just one person out there who can be helped overcoming this circle of remorse, self-delusion, denial and relapse, any effort will be well worth it.

Don't get me wrong. I am a good example of how to not do it properly, but I try to help as best as I can, although it can be frustrating at times.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 07:04

Martin67

Joined:
2010-08-17

greenflash, congratulations on your 6 months. Maybe it is best if you take a break from the site if you find it annoying you.

People that come to this site are often desperate and they are addicted. Not everyone will relapse but a large number will. I’ve relapsed myself.

You talk about having the correct blocks in place. This works for some people but I find it incredibly overrated on this website. Someone who is the least bit tech savvy and is desperate enough will find a way round the blocks.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 07:10

tunnie123

Joined:
2018-05-28

What a pointless post. yes people relaps yes people spend there rent money but this is a forum.... at no point does it suggest you have to stop there and then to be part of it... a forum is a place for people to get advice or vent theire anger or just to have someone to talk to in a dark time... someone could gamble there whole life away but if them reading someones advice on here stops them from hurting themselves or doing something stupid then i think the forum is a huge success.. it seems like a last ditch to connect with people as otherwise you could just leave quietly without saying anything yet your asking for a response.

great job on being gamble free for 6 months but we all know gambling feeds on negativity so take your negativity with you :]

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 09:51

greenflash

Joined:
2017-12-31

tunnie123, like I told Cardhue, I hardly ever post on here, when I do it is to give genuine advice to people I can empathise with. Check my history and it will become obvious I have no desperate need to connect with others. I have no interest in facebook/twitter etc either. I do not live my life through a computer or desperately crave imaginary friends.

You will also notice in my second post that I accepted I had been selfish and was wrong in what I originally said. Thanks to 'Merry go round' and her advice, who seemed to understand what I was saying,even though I went the wrong way about it. I will now continue to offer help and advice to others. 

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 11:33

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Just thought I'd call in at the greenflash oasis

To pay my respects for your gamble free daysis

We're many and varied us warriors bold 

But we all seek to find a way in from the cold

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/06/2018 - 10:55

shake the disease

Joined:
2018-02-06

well done greenflash on 6 months GF and its fantastic that you feel you no longer need the forum any more - its like closure, end of a chapter and i dont blame you for announcing it as it kind of draws a line under it. in an ideal world everyone would solve their gambling issue and get off the site. well done mate

Posted on:
Thu, 14/06/2018 - 11:44

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello all

We'd like to remind forum users of the forum rules which state 

  • Please show consideration and respect for other users and for their opinions.
  • Be sensitive to how your messages may be viewed and perceived by others.
     

It might be useful to consider the difference between saying 'your post came across as [X] ' and 'you are [X]'. By using the former rather than the latter way of putting it, you can still express your opinion without it coming across as name calling or insulting the original poster.

Greenflash, well done on 6 months gamble free, and whether you stay on the forum or have a break, we wish you all the best.

Thank you to all our regular forum users who support other forum members, whether they're ready to accept advice or not.

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Posted on:
Thu, 14/06/2018 - 19:27

samba79

Joined:
2018-03-22

"What is the point of joining gamcare, admitting you have a problem, seeking the advice then not bothering to put financial blocks in place"

While I can agree with your sentiment in that it's disappointing to read about people's relapses, it's really not as simple as above.  It's taken me probably 2 months to go from admitting to myself and my family that gambling had "won" to where I am now with the correct blocks in place and a plan looking forward.  Not everyone is lucky as yourself and can just switch off, people may be under pressure to pay bills and see gambling as the way out or any other reason.

I see it more as "Oh man, why are you doing this to yourself" when I read these posts.

Good luck to you moving forward.

Posted on:
Mon, 25/06/2018 - 22:22

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for the kind words on my diary greenflash.

Feeling happy at the moment seeing friends like yourself who are staying gamble free for long periods. I have noticed quite a few diaries where people are keeping their resolve and enjoying their recovery. 

I must keep reminding myself that although one door has closed another door has opened and it will lead me to a far better place than I was in when gambling. Wishing you well...stephen