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New Year's Day challenge!!!

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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 31/05/2016 - 22:57

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

I need some added impetus to get me through the year so if you do too then follow me!  I make it that there are 214 days left in 2016 starting with tomorrow so I plan to post every single day involving something in my life, a tale of gambling horror, a new mindset, a thought for the day, a new motivation, a different approach etc to get us all through 2016.  It's going to be a great ride.  If you stick on this journey then I guarantee your life will be better.  I'll follow up with people who join me and help you along as much as you'll all help me. So without further ado you're all cordially invited to hop aboard the trip of your life... I guarantee you'll enjoy it!

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 06:43

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Well looks like I may be alone... 

 So 214 days left today and what shall we discuss... well the first point of call has to be barriers. If you haven't got barriers in place then you are not committed to this journey so you might as well stay on the platform! The so-called gambling triangle of time, money and location. The logic being is if you're busy with living life you won't gamble. If you haven't got access to money you can't gamble. And if you don't have a accessible purveyor of odds, enabled device or dodgy bingo hall you've got no chance. So look yourself in the mirror and say "is my triangle broken?"... if the answer is no then you need to sort it. And it's not a tomorrow job... it's a right here right now job. Some easy fixes... self exclude and close accounts immediately. Take photos to the bookies and exclude. Get anti gamble software. Restrict your withdrawal amounts. Give your loved one your online passwords for banking so they can check your statements. Pass over your finances. Get some new hobbies! Find a new route to work. Tell your mates you have a problem. 214 days is a long journey so you need to be prepared! Send me your feedback on your journey so far. Stay classy.

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 08:34

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

I will join you and wish you the best of luck.

Fobt was my downfall so barriers were my salvation. Gave up cards and cash so i couldnt pop into yonder bookies. If i got cash i provided receipts to the penny. Have my card back but dont like spending unneccessary so leave it at home.

Barriers helped me and can form a good grounding in abstaining from the bookies.

Best wishes (415 days gf)

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 08:53

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

I'll join too. Only my 2nd full day GF but you have to start somewhere! For me this journey is about becoming a better man. Obviously losing all that money hurts and the debt will hurt too for years to come but if I'm open and honest with myself and loved ones I know I can come through this, we all can!

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 09:50

davey

Joined:
Before 2009

hi I'm with you , also my / our quit day (today) is 1st June - easier to quit on the first day of the month as a) it's a milestone b) easier to count up the quit days on the first of the month ! I've quit before but fell back into it 18 months ago after my mum passed away... got lucky a few times & was trading / arbing / bonus abusing but it still took a huge amount of time from me. want to keep what I've saved & to do other things in life...had a bad day on bank hol monday blew a few quid chasing couldn't stop myself. As though I'd learned nothing in all of my years of gambling.  Not a vast amount but enough to make me think twice. then yesterday cleared a little bonus had a free bet to use so just did that. So today 1st June is my promise to fully abstain from here on in.

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 12:30

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Five of us so far so that's a great start... 213.5 days left to complete this initial journey.

Balvaird - barriers have been key to me too and when I relapsed I started to put in place more.

Sam and Davey - I've got some tales I'll share tomorrow on being a better person and enjoying life... some of the benefits of quitting that I've seen

Deanoooo - I can see how barriers are tough for your particular scenario. You've done great so far.

We're in a clapped out old banger for five right now but we're all going in the right direction. Hopefully we'll need a minibus by tomorrow...

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 13:24

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Right....I'll be number 6 then please...if thats ok guys...the first lady on board ! lol

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 20:48

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Woohoo first lady on board!  So then there were six... and we're out of the five seater and into a VW Campervan.  Hope everyone is doing well on the journey.  The first day is nearly down and it wasn't so bad.  Just think if we can repeat this 213 more times then we'll go into 2017 with a load more cash and a much better attitude.  More tales to follow tomorrow but keep feeding back and letting me know if there are any subjects you would like me to cover.  There's room for more followers as well...

Posted on:
Wed, 01/06/2016 - 22:44

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

So 213 days to go (from tomorrow) and some tales of around how gambling can make you a better person and get some form of normality back in your life.  I need to post tonight rather than in the morning as I'm on the road tomorrow.  So here goes...

I found that when I stopped gambling I noticed how much I have been disrespectful to my wife by failing to do simple tasks... mostly because I was just a walking gambling zombie who was only focused on scores and odds.  For example, I'd leave my plate on the side or leave my clothes all over the house waiting for my wife to sort it out when she got sick of their sight.  Since quitting my mind was free and I was placing my plate on the side I just thought "what are you doing?" and I started to put my plates in the dishwasher and do other little 'normal' tasks that didn't enter my mind.  These are relatively small things but big things in the scale of where you are as a decent human being.

I then started to upkeep my house better so I mowed the lawn every week rather than every month.  I washed the windows and washed my wife's car without her needing to ask.  I had time on my hands and I needed to fill it constructively to avoid letting my mind wander.  Spending an hour cleaning windows took me away from an hour staring at the TV watching a sport I had no real interest in but would have gambled my life savings on.

This created a new mindset for me and I started to do many other things I'd let slip - phoning my mum to ask how she was, visiting my nanna, doing the shopping etc etc.  All things I never had the time to do as I wanted to be in the house focusing on a screen to see if a tennis ball was bouncing the way I need it to do.

I then started to crochet a blanket for my son as a new hobby... ultimately I failed as it is more difficult than it looks! but I would have never done that before.  I took more interest in work and the people I was interacting with every day.  There are so many things I just would not have done if I was gambling.

Look at Alan's diary for the recent changes in his life, look at Robf and Cardhue for what they're doing, they'll be tonnes of other examples out there...

So have a think today about how you are spending the time you would have previously spent gambling and no doubt you'll come up with something that is making you a better person.

Posted on:
Thu, 02/06/2016 - 08:09

davey

Joined:
Before 2009

hi just checking in day 2 today. lot of tiredness coming out. It isn't just the money (win or lose) it's the time & energy spent on gambling at the expense of real life. Slept a lot yesterday ! Did briefly look at oddschecker fancied a horse (odds on) watched the race on a streaming site it finished 2nd ! so would have lost ! Had thought about putting a lumpy bet on it (plenty did) but didn't fortunately ! so money saved already !!

 

Posted on:
Thu, 02/06/2016 - 09:01

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Morning. Like you i have become more active and have got a lot more done. It is also about being there and being more reliable. Less mood swings which in the past were very up and down depending if winning or losing.

Have a good day

Posted on:
Thu, 02/06/2016 - 10:26

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

Still on board. My tale for today is an excerpt from a post on my own diary 'I remember one day in particular when the price of sandwiches in the shop went up 20p and I was raging. Imagine putting up their prices again only 6 months after the last rise! I proceeded to lose over 100 that day.'  When we are in gambling mode all logic goes out the window. I have a CG uncle who wouldn't think twice about putting 1000 on a horse but would re-use the same tea bag for 3+ cups of tea!

I'm still very early i my recovery but feel the fog lifting already. Have a good day everyone!

Posted on:
Thu, 02/06/2016 - 11:09

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Davey - the time and the stress is a major part - losing days of life. Try and stay off oddschecker for a few days as that's part of the addiction - addicted to checking odds and sports events was the first step for me. It's flirting too much with temptation. Have a good day.

Bal - mood swings are a big thing. Up and down and all over the place. My wife would notice that!

Sam - I've had haircuts that have cost me £300. It's a nightmare. Just need to avoid getting stressed with normal life costs but us CGs want to spend all our money gambling... the opposite should be true!

Good stuff everyone. Keep the faith.

Posted on:
Thu, 02/06/2016 - 19:24

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

So we've got less than 212.5 days to go...

Had a good day today out on the road with some tunes on. I used to only listen to talksport but I had to put a stop to it. They're in bed with all the bookies so it's constant sections talking about odds. Music makes you feel uplifted when the weather is nice so I'm happy I've re found it. Used to be checking scores all the drive home... madness.

Hope everyone else had a good day,

Posted on:
Fri, 03/06/2016 - 10:34

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

2 down and 212 to go. I was thinking about a topic for today and an obvious one based on a good day yesterday is... work.

I find that being gamble free has made me much happier at work and able to perform much better. I have taken away a distraction from the day. I would regularly sit there staring at my screen but my mind racing away at how much money I had lost at lunchtime or thinking about a potential bet or checking scores on my phone.

I used to hate going into the office as it took away some of my gambling time.  I didn't want to speak to people if I'd just done a load of cash in so I avoid conversation and I had no interest in going the extra mile.

Now I'm free in my mind I can perform much better. I also don't stress too much about big days at work if I've got an important presentation extra... that may be because I'm been through so much serious situations in the past 12 works that work stress is trivial to me but it also may be because I have a better outlook now that I can't get stressed and I just need to get on and be happy and not grumpy.

I hope that makes sense.

Still the 6 of us for now but as its Friday we'll soon be on our first weekend away!

Posted on:
Fri, 03/06/2016 - 12:10

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

Mate that sounds so much like me it's crazy. I'm off today though getting car sorted then enjoying sunshine :)

I remember times walking back into the office from a 'toilet break' where I'd lost the eqivalent of a weeks wage. Didn't want to look, talk to or interact with anyone. Other times I'm sitting at my desk watching the phone hidden just below the keyboard hoping tor no more goals, heart 300 bpm with a grand or more on the line. I swear how I haven't had a heart attack yet I don't know! Even now less than a week since I last did that I can see how insane it all is.

I've been very lucky that gambling hasn't affected my work so much that I've got into trouble over it. I don't think my collegues have any idea or if they do they dont mention it.

Anyway I'm off to enjoy the sunshine, looks like the car is sorted (hopefully!)

Posted on:
Fri, 03/06/2016 - 14:26

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Sam - I'm hoping its strengthened our hearts through all the over working they've been given!

Posted on:
Fri, 03/06/2016 - 20:16

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Hope everyone has had a good Friday and is ready for the weekend!

Posted on:
Fri, 03/06/2016 - 21:51

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Don't know why this guy makes me laugh so much - it's good to have a laugh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRILKrkqYnc

Posted on:
Sat, 04/06/2016 - 12:41

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

211 to go... I'll make a longer post later today but just wanted to check in for now

Posted on:
Sat, 04/06/2016 - 17:55

Rylex

Joined:
2016-05-30

Hi change, thanks for your post on my diary Just read over your post here and sounds good what you're doing I'll defiantly follow it though I'm determined to never gamble again in my life have what short time away from it I have has made me see more damage its done to my life than I first thought. But here's to the the future not going to dwell on the past...

Posted on:
Sat, 04/06/2016 - 20:06

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

211 days to go and that will nearly be 210 days...

Welcome aboard Rylex - great to have you joining us.

I wanted to post about other addictions today.  I found that gambling for me brought on other harmful addictions.  The first thing I'd do after a big loss was go and buy a packet of cigs.  I only really used to smoke on a big night out but gambling definitely made me smoke much more... as I was always losing.  I also found that I'd drink much more when gambling.  I guess just the stress of everything made me reach for cigs and booze.

So although i'm principally dealing with complusive gambling... I'm also finding myself dealing with milder forms of tobacco and alcohol addiction.

Did anyone else find that gambling made them addictive in other aspects of life?  Or since quitting gambling has that vice been replaced with another vice and how are you dealing with that?

Have a great night everyone.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 19:08

MickMUFC

Joined:
2016-06-05

Im on board ladies and gents.

My last bet was friday after a 20 year stint of throwing good money after bad and Im hoping I can beat the urge to bet again.

Can defo relate to neglecting everyday jobs around the house so this week Im going to fill my time giving the house a once over.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 19:42

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Welcome mr head! I've neglected chores and life for so long. Even enjoy doing some washing up these days. Couldn't face watching Roland Garros today which is sad as I am a fan of tennis but hey ho better than getting lured into a bet.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 19:48

MickMUFC

Joined:
2016-06-05

Change wrote:

Welcome mr head! I've neglected chores and life for so long. Even enjoy doing some washing up these days. Couldn't face watching Roland Garros today which is sad as I am a fan of tennis but hey ho better than getting lured into a bet.

The Euro's next week will be a struggle as i was looking forward to having a punt on them as i love a bet on the football but i dont want to risk losing anymore money.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 20:28

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

Still on board. Busy couple of days and almost a week GF so it's all good!

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 20:42

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Mr Head - you can't get on the Euros so you need to get that out of your head mr head.

Sam - well done pal!

Posted on:
Sun, 05/06/2016 - 22:03

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

210 to go and nearly 209 to go...

Lot of people commenting on the forums about the Euros so I feel we need to get prepared for this major event.  The first stage is to take a step back from the sports pages, the sports channels and the sports radio.  That's a really tough thing to do and I know people will feel like their missing out but c'mon it's one event and its a tough event so just try your very best to not load up that page or click on to that channel.  I am a massive sports fan and football in particular but I honesty could not tell you what the first match is and I have no idea who are in Englan's group other than Wales.  The reason for this is I have made a conscious effort to avoid this tournment as I don't want to get sucked into the following thinking... "oh X are playing Y... that's a good game but I think X will win and they'll be over 2.5 goals for sure"... next thing that happens is I'm on oddschecker looking at the odds.  At that stage I am 90% of the way to betting.  I've made a selection.  I've checked the odds. So my mind will thinking if I back out now and it wins I will have lost out on a payday so I better place a bet or I'm going to miss out.  My mind isn't going to be thinking it could lose, quite the opposite... all avenues will be leading me to a lost opportunity if I don't place the bet.  The easiest part is then finding the cash and finding the bookies.

So please all who have a problem with sports betting... please please please try and avoid the hysteria around the event and just tune into the matches on TV after they've started.

Posted on:
Mon, 06/06/2016 - 20:15

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

 

209 to go...

Sorry for late post today. I've been travelling around a lot today.

Few good posts made by other forumites of a typical day by a compulsive gambler.  Really highlighted the feelings that people do not want to experience again.

It's so difficult to write down irrational behaviour as it makes no sense but when you're in the moment you're operating on auto pilot and there's no pause to think. There's just a sinking feeling after the final loss, the forced smile in front of your family as you try to hide a problem, the banging your head and disgust as you look in the mirror when you sneek off to gather your thoughts in the bathroom, the excuse as to why you don't want to go out for a meal that night, the hot sweats as you try to sleep, the realisation as you're eating your breakfast... that it's all happened again!

Let's not let it happen again!

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 10:10

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

The forced smiles in front of family, sneeking off to the bathroom to gather your thoughts. Oh how many times we have all been there! It really is no way to live but when we're in full flow in the midst of a bet it's difficult to comprehend anything other than the current bet. Everything else takes a back seat and we only re-visit real life when the bets are done for the day or in some cases when all the money is gone.

I had a bit of a scare this morning when I logged on to pay a credit card bill and It showed 'payment declined'. My heart skipped a beat for the first time since my last (unsuccessful) bet. I was 99% sure I had plenty of funds in my account but as I navigated to find out I kept wondering if I'd spent/lost more than I remembered. Turns out there was more than enough funds and I had just typed in a wrong digit somewhere. Still, it scared me a bit. I don't miss payments and haven't done for a long time.

The days are rolling on

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 10:24

Andrew28

Joined:
2016-06-01

Hi Change ! I'd like to join the challenge please. Im 6 days gamble free. Really feeling positive.

Still got enough time left in your challenge to join you to 200+ a massive milestone I'm determined to reach.

Lets do this.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 11:00

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Welcome aboard Andrew! 208 days to go...

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 11:58

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Completely agree on post #30 and did in fact have a chuckle.

My money app became my best friend. Knock £20 of this and £5 of that - woo hoo i can gamble again tomorrow.

The vicious circle of planning for another bout of madness!!!.

Best wishes

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 12:05

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Yeah you have to laugh or you'd cry.

My fav... Q - how do you become a millionaire from gambling? A - start off as a billionaire.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 14:33

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

208 days to go (well really 207.5 days)!

How's everyone doing today? Been thinking of a topic to pick for today and I've come up with this... if there is one thing that gambling has taught you what would that be?

I think my answer is that it has made me more self aware of my own situation. I can now appreciate how I must have looked to someone on the outside looking in - the person sat next to me on the train as I scribble down odds, the person behind the counter in the bookies as I hand over a months wage, my wife as I have another mood swing, my work colleagues who I'm trying to avoid etc. It has taught me that you can't operate on auto pilot and let something control your actions for weeks on end. You need to step outside and regain control because as things start to descend they then descend much more rapidly. So self awareness and an appreciation of how I was acting has been a key thing for me.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 14:44

MickMUFC

Joined:
2016-06-05

Change wrote:

208 days to go (well really 207.5 days)!

How's everyone doing today? Been thinking of a topic to pick for today and I've come up with this... if there is one thing that gambling has taught you what would that be?

I think my answer is that it has made me more self aware of my own situation. I can now appreciate how I must have looked to someone on the outside looking in - the person sat next to me on the train as I scribble down odds, the person behind the counter in the bookies as I hand over a months wage, my wife as I have another mood swing, my work colleagues who I'm trying to avoid etc. It has taught me that you can't operate on auto pilot and let something control your actions for weeks on end. You need to step outside and regain control because as things start to descend they then descend much more rapidly. So self awareness and an appreciation of how I was acting has been a key thing for me.

Can relate to all that mate, i've not had a bet since friday and actually not missing it, the pain and money lost over the years has finally hit home, still early days i now but my mindset has totally changed regard wasting money just hoping it will continue.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 15:09

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Well done mr head. Thanks for sharing. Stay focused and drop by whenever you need to chat.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 15:22

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

Topic of the day - if there is one thing that gambling has taught you what would that be?

To be thankful for what I have rather than what I don't. I have lost more than money due to (and sometimes partly due to) gambling, most crucially time. I accept that’s one thing I can’t get back. Everything else either can be or maybe can depending on circumstances. I now recognize what I do have; a handsome and healthy son, a loving family, my health, good looks :p, nice house, good steady job, good friends. Even typing those down helps me realize how lucky I am. Of course there are negatives but I’ll not ruin this positive post with any of those.

I am not overly religious but I’ll end with this quote; ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference’

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 16:08

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Hi Sam - that was my second choice... honesty. I think gambling made me so greedy. I really hated my job and didn't want to work (probably because it took me away from gambling) and I thought I could be a pro but I obviously can't! Since that delusion lifted I actually quite like my life.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 18:24

MickMUFC

Joined:
2016-06-05

Sam Crow wrote:

Topic of the day - if there is one thing that gambling has taught you what would that be?

 

 

'Some people are only rich in money'

Never a true word spoken.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 20:19

SwordFish

Joined:
2015-10-31

Great chatting to you tonight change

Stay safe mate

Gaz

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 20:24

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Top man Gaz! Keep the faith.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/06/2016 - 22:37

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Posted on:
Wed, 08/06/2016 - 07:46

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

207 days to go...

Interesting discussion on chat last night talking around motivation to stop so think about what your motivation is and let me have your thoughts. Stay safe everyone.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/06/2016 - 08:18

SwordFish

Joined:
2015-10-31

Morning change, as I said on chat last night it is to give myself and my family a better life. Also I don't want to go through "that feeling" of losing everything again. The panic. The stress. The fear. The guilt.

Have a good day mate

Posted on:
Wed, 08/06/2016 - 09:03

Sam Crow

Joined:
2012-02-23

My motivation is to become a better man so I can have the best possible influence in my son's life.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/06/2016 - 09:34

Andrew28

Joined:
2016-06-01

Morning guys ! great points. My motivation is to make my Mum and Dad proud, they've seen me low and depressed for over a year. I need to prove I'm a man, lose weight, work hard (my job is partly commission based so commit and earn better money), and show them that I got my chin up and that I'm positive.

Have a good day guys, it's another great day with out a bet to spoil it.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/06/2016 - 17:31

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

Thanks for your posts. Mine are also similar. I want to quit to be able to provide better for my family, I want to have a clearer mind so I can interact with people on a daily basis, I want to achieve something in life and be a better person.

I think it is good to remember your motivations every day as it is a personal thing and it will keep us all focused.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/06/2016 - 07:04

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

206 days to go...

Remember we can't stop so we can't win. The definition of insanity is repeating the same exercise and expecting a different outcome.

Don't be insane today... have a great day everyone!

Posted on:
Thu, 09/06/2016 - 09:57

Andrew28

Joined:
2016-06-01

Very true change, lets stay strong !!, have a good one 

Posted on:
Thu, 09/06/2016 - 22:47

Change

Joined:
2015-01-30

I think this is my hit for summer 2016 - let's make this summer a memorable one for the right reasons... Galantis - No Money...

"Sorry I ain’t got no money I’m not trying to be funny but I left it all at home today

You can call me what you wanna I ain’t giving you a dollar, this time I ain’t gonna run away

You might knock me down, you might knock me down, but I will get back up again

You can call it how you wanna I ain’t giving you a dollar, this time I ain’t gonna run away, run away, run away"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QQ0ebVrLQw&list=PL2vrmw2gup2Jre1MK2FL72...

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