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Posted on:
Thu, 07/09/2017 - 14:54

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Happy Birthday Pops :-)  I wasn't gonna rock up to the party before the cake had arrived but I don't wanna miss it completely...Must have been some bender Martin was on last night if he's not sorted out the catering yet :-0

Posted on:
Thu, 07/09/2017 - 22:38

Glint

Joined:
2016-01-08

Nice post.

Well done Alan d:-)

Posted on:
Thu, 07/09/2017 - 22:50

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Great stuff Alan. A fine acheivement. Well done Sir

Posted on:
Fri, 08/09/2017 - 18:14

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Alan!!!!

Well done on 2yrs G free man!

Keep up the good work & reap the benefits this freedon offers ;-)

Nice one for sure!

B&S xx

Posted on:
Sun, 10/09/2017 - 23:51

Glint

Joined:
2016-01-08

ALANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

What have you done?!

Oooohhh...I don't think much of that decision.

Seriously though, we've been through a lot of posts together, I won't let this come between us; the last thing I would want is you feeling like my unceremonious uprooting was in anyway your fault Alan (it definitely was d:-D).

I've been mature about it, accepted my upheaval, took it on the chin and have been to my local college to enrol in their Website Hacking for Beginners course.

Starts Wednesday.

Expect to login to the GamCare and find your diary has mysteriously been moved to the 'feedback' section someday soon Alan d;-)

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 00:37

ItMattersMoreWh...

Joined:
2017-06-02

2 years GF!  You're just showing off now ;-)

Well done compadre!

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 07:50

Cynical wife

Joined:
2015-06-23

Congratulations on the milestone and wish you an easy continuing journey.

CW

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 07:58

Compulsive Gambler

Joined:
Before 2009

I missed your deadline but many congratulations, long may you lead the way as an inspiration

best wishes

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 16:30

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

SJB , IMM , CW and CG :)) 

Many thanks guy's for all of your kind well wishes , your support as alway's is greatly appreciated :)) 

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 21:55

New day

Joined:
2015-04-05

Massive congrats on the two years Alan. And thanks for the continued support. Stick it to the man or in this case the scummy bookies... 

Posted on:
Wed, 13/09/2017 - 09:38

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hi Alan

2 years, wow! 

Funny what you mentioned on my diary, this is how sick and demented I was. On one occasion before entering the casino, I was eating crisps and pulled out a crisp the same shape as the number 8, yes, you can guess what happened. All night I was chasing number 8, it would land on 23 and 30 on numerous occasions but never number 8. What followed afterwards was me making trips to the conveniently placed cashpoint right next to the tables which charged £2.50 per withdrawal. After spending several hundreds chasing 8 my money had all gone.

Now it was a quick trip to the toilet and then the walk of shame (head down) out of the casino, after exiting the toilet a glanced over at the table I was playing. Alongside the table there was an electronic board showing the last 20 numbers that had come out, right at the top was number 8!

I was gutted and totally broken. It is these feelings I will remind myself the next time I have an urge.

Take care.

Shaun

 

Posted on:
Wed, 13/09/2017 - 15:29

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hey Alan, and here you are at the 2 year milestone, setting off, with out breaking stride, towards 3 years - always one day at a time :)

Loving your diary - what I like is that you have that great balance of not putting up with any nonsense yet you have that spirit of generosity and empathy, too - a good combination!

All the best as a third glorious year GF hovers into view. I'm 23 months behind you (!) but certainly in your slipstream :) !

Posted on:
Thu, 14/09/2017 - 20:53

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi Al,

Thanks for popping by ☺

Babybel said woofs back for a pat !

I know life is not rosy all the time but as I've been pointed out - I need to acknowledge good stuff more often! I made massive progress In my life and about time I start being greatful for what I have!!!

Work in progress here..but watch this space...positivity may return in my life soon ☺..Patience man ;-)

Have a good evening & take care of you

B&S xx

Posted on:
Fri, 22/09/2017 - 19:54

Oldhamktf

Joined:
2015-09-26

No double celebration required Allan. Hope you noticed the deliberate spelling mistake as I noticed yours, after 2 years I thought would have it right xxx

still a pleasure as always my friend. 

Posted on:
Sat, 23/09/2017 - 04:38

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Alan. Mr Cod! I wonder if you get sick of fish and chips? I once worked in a toffee apple factory and can't stand the sight of one now!

Thanks for your valuable input and hope that you are keeping well.

Posted on:
Sun, 24/09/2017 - 10:32

truthful93

Joined:
2017-09-23

Hi Alan,

Just wanted to pop in here and congratulate you on the 2 years.

Appreciate you replying to my thread and offering some sound advice. To you this diary is about helping your own recovery, but to me this is a source of inspiration and you are in a place I want to be 2 years from now. alongside you; gamble free. 

I have read a number of your entries on this sunday morning as I think about wanting to gamble and I now feel more relaxed and at peace. Its amazing what power words can have when they come from someone who has been in your position and describes the exact scnearios you find yourself in. 

The part that hit me hardest was the desire to 'win at gambling' for your family. I also have this ridiculous ideology that one day I would win enough to sort out all of my familys problems and get myself a new car and wipe of debt all at once thanks to the 'one big win'. Needless to say, that day has never come and the win is no where in sight. Truth be told, if it were not for gambling I would not be in debt and I would be able to afford that new car I want. Its crazy we are at our most destructive when rationalising it as being constructive. 

Keep fighting those demons and winning at life. You are an inspiritation to us all who are starting our journey. 

Posted on:
Sun, 24/09/2017 - 17:16

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Sorry I’m late to congratulate you on your two years bet free ,spaghetti junction was A nightmare?  Always good to see you still giving out some solid advice on the forum.  Still no battered chips down your end ? Lol have a good one Alan x

Posted on:
Sun, 24/09/2017 - 19:53

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Fletch yes inconspicuous huh?  

I’m doing really good thanks Alan. Taking it steady as you do .  Had a really good holiday in the summer . Nice to spend a bit of time with the family as work is hectic at the minute.  Got through my first year and in to the second. Life is slowly getting better. As you know it doesn’t happen over night?  I think it’s the first year I haven’t placed a single bet since I was maybe 8 or 9 . Still think about it some days but it’s more the why did i take almost 30 years to walk away ?  The gambling doesn’t bother me it’s the adjusting to life without gambling if that makes sense?   

Important year this year as my lads just started school and it’s my daughters sats year so plenty to keep busy with. 

Nice to chat again and no doubt we’ll speak again soon under some other inconspicuous name 

I’m never far away lol 

Take it easy x

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 11:30

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hi Alan just for you, if the link below disappears, just google sky news and ***** power FOBT.

Looks like the dreaded FOBT's are on their way out!

http://news.sky.com/story/*****-power-boss-breaks-ranks-on-fixed-odds-be...

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 17:52

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

Hi Alan

Great going on 2 years GF, here's to the next day, and the next, and the next.... 

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 20:19

Tommyt124

Joined:
2017-09-27

Hiya alan I'm quite new to all this but I've been reading quite a few diaries and some of the comments you put on are priceless you are an inspiration as is my friend Oldhamktf I hope to read much more from you and what a cracking achievement 2 years enjoy it pal here's to many more

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 13:14

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

 

Hello my old buddy.

Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t lose sleep if shops started shutting in their masses. But a reduction to 20 pound isn’t going to do much good. A gambler always finds a way and they know this. It just makes them more creative where as they will be offering stupid sign up on line bonuses that have to be wagered a million times.  Once those people are online it’s a different world from the one we gambled in, there’s no limits on stake or time. I wouldn’t put it past them if it was just a ploy so more people went online . Shops have done it and tripled their income because people spend more when their in the comfort of their own homes. Maybe I’m wrong only time will tell  I just can’t see it being the eureka moment everyone is praying for.

My lad is settling in well thanks Alan always makes me smile when I pick him up as it brings back memory’s of when I was there many moons ago. I didn’t think he would like it but he loves going and he’s meet some new friends. Daughter is also doing well but we knew she would as she’s highly switched on for her age I guess that’s kids today? Just got her a contact phone to give her some responsibility it’s more for my peace of mind so I know we can keep in contact when needed.  

Hopefully you’re getting on well as a new grandparent, young kids just make Christmas that little more magical? 

Have a good weekend Alan and speak soon x

 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 16:19

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Yo grandpops. ...thought id better pop over and say hellooooop...
Nothing riveting to report from down here. ....
My addiction...leaving me in
peace...
Family....all quiet on the western front...
Trade...easing off slightly..
Waistline....not responding to my new gym membership as fast as I hoped...
And I'm happy with my lot ...
Soooo. ..just hoping all tickety boo with you....mwahhhh x

Posted on:
Sat, 30/09/2017 - 14:02

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

753 Day's since my last bet and a short space of time in life , the money isn't what it's about anymore but a quick calculation's just shown me that in that space of time and had I still been gambling at a rate of loss of maybe £ 20 a day I'd have lost just over £15000 and at £30 a day it would have been £22,590 !! . 

As I said it's not about the money anymore but that's a staggering amount and if I'm honest most day's the losses would have been in thier hundreds' . The sad thing is that while I was in action I wouldn't have thought twice about the amounts I was getting through and only when fund's wherever they came from started drying up would I consider my next move as it was all about " Keeping the addiction alive , feeding it and keeping that fire stoked" !  .

I guess that's why we find it soooo hard to let go of with all the time and money invested ," I'd like a return thank you very much " and "I'm not leaving until I get it " ? . The times I'd wanted to stop gambling , the promises to myself on the back of a bad losing day that " I'll never again give those bookies my hard earn't money " " **** em "  full of remorse and tears rolling down my cheeks , " Poor Me " i cried  and how I cried !!  .

The next morning duly arrived and up I got full of positivity for the day ahead but not for the fact that today I wouldn't gamble just the fact that Today would be the day I won it all back and just like every other day , yesterday's thought's pushed aside as my Compulsive Gambling once again returned like the " Grim Reaper " to walk alongside me , how quickly I forgot the daily pain ? . 

So why did it all change ? , Honestly no idea but change it had to otherwise what was left of my life ahead , misery , debt , the loss of everything and everyone that I held so dear and so the list goes on , I just let it all go , fed up with going 10 rounds everyday , a lightweight against a heavyweight it was alway's only ever going to end when I threw the towel in the ring and said " No more " .

Today's a good day :) , No !! It's a great day , just as many before it as I choose once again  " Life over Gambling " :)) 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 30/09/2017 - 14:53

Amom

Joined:
2014-10-09

:):):)

Cathyx

Posted on:
Sat, 30/09/2017 - 15:26

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Fantastic post Alan, may screen shot this as a permanent reminder if ever feeling wobbly, Thank you for being a consistent source of good advice and inspiration S:)

Posted on:
Sun, 01/10/2017 - 16:11

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

it's been one of those day's :(( 

Our little foster boy went to play football yesterday at a special needs/ disabilities group he attends , he went in for a tackle and came off worse in the form of a double break in his left arm , Ouuuuch ! . ( and the irony of it being a disabled group wasn't lost on me either ) :))

We had to wait last night for him  to go down to surgery where they needed to decide if he needed pins inserted to fix it , fortunately they managed to set it without and this morning he came home sporting his full arm cast where he's being spoilt rotten  :(( 

I offered to high five him with my left arm this morning but he declined and settled for a hug instead , thankfully he's quite keen to go back to school to show his mates his war wound's despite us offering him the opportunity to stay home for a while . 

Were now scratching our head's thinking of something " Cool " to draw on his cast and so far all my non appropriate suggestons have been firmly rejected , LoL :)) .

Sorry nothing gambling related but just about the life I now choose to live :))

Have a great day everyone :)) x

Posted on:
Sun, 01/10/2017 - 19:20

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hope the little one recovers quickly Alan.

Yes, good news about the FOBT's, they have ruined too many lives, about time someone took a stance on these 'illegle' machines.

ATB

Shaun

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 09:51

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Also, forgot to mention, great work you are doing Alan in giving encouraging advice on other people's diarys

Well done, excellent job.

Shaun

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 21:12

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

I did use the word apparently lol and yes the wife wouldn’t be pleased if I said she was making a meal of it :-/.   

I did see a good debate about it a few years back where a well known comedian said that there’s no way it’s as painful as being kicked down there for a man . His reason being usually a few months after childbirth a woman will brood for another baby where as a man once kicked down there will never wish for another one hence it being the worst pain known to man .   

Also good to see you still paying back some love.

Have a good one boss x

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 20:41

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thankyou for posting on my diary Alan. No doubt I will get the blues now and than, it's all part of life. However if I follow the advice of you and other GamCare friends than I can handle it with ease.

The past is gone, if I can learn from it or make amends to those I disrespected, than all well and good, but other than that it must be laid to rest. However the addiction quite likes reminding me of my failings.

I suspect my compulsion to gamble is just a gang of very misguided neurons who don't see the full picture. Now that i'm ignoring them they probably go round my brain smashing things up and mugging smaller neurons.....stephen

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 21:03

Tommyt124

Joined:
2017-09-27

Hiya pal I've been reading your diary and what an inspiration you are it's a tough disease to battle and you have put all the blocks in place and done so great I only hope I can do aswell as you have done keep.going pal jft

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 09:57

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hi Alan

Certainly is strange how gambling works, a croupier told me once that a gentlemen played on a table for 8 hours chasing the number 0 and it never came out once. After losing £8000, he left and wait for it, yes you have guessed it, out of 5 spins, 0 came out 3 times.

Take care.

Shaun

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 14:08

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

That was probably me then Shaun  :(( 

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 12:04

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Shaun's example - that's why we keep going. We think eventually, the law of averages will make the number come up. Conversely, it came up 3/5 times, so we can remember that it's unpredictable and may not come around for hundreds of spins. 

My inner cynic suspects there are little magnets at play, under the table, anyway ;-)

Admire you for fostering. Can't always be easy.

I have completely let go of that man. Thanks for urging me to. This might sound weird, but it felt nice having a fatherly figure looking out for me. Wish my birth father could have been this for me.

Take care,

F x

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 20:20

freda

Joined:
2009-06-24

Alan, that post was like a warm hug. Thank you so much!

I don't have any supportive family, no surviving grandparents, no-one, so I really appreciate anyone's caring input and rarely take umbrage. I appreciated being told what I didn't want to acknowledge. It still goes in there, and in better times I would have kicked him into touch much sooner. Any port in a storm and all that.

I like your lingo! Yes, douche bag about sums him up, hahaha!

Must be frustrating with your son. I guess gently reminding him to at least not do anything that affects him long-term, like having a child with someone who he has a rocky relationship with, is all you can do.

I'm sure you've raised him right and he will do what's right for him in the end.

Take care,

F x

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 14:58

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hello  Dear diary :)) . 

Youv'e been with me for so long on a journey of rediscovery and I want to thank you for one last time for allowing me to move on To all those that I've spoken to , Good and bad conversations , past and present posters , thank you all for helping me along the way .

I wish each and everyone of you well and continued success with whichever path you choose to take :))

I'll alway's keep looking on the " Bright side of life " ( Thank you Python )  :)) 

                                                                                       And in the word's of Oasis                                                                                                                                                             I'll take what I need and be on my way "

                                                                                    " Love and best wishes to all "

                                                                                                      Alan xx

 

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 15:07

Oldhamktf

Joined:
2015-09-26

Take care bud tell admin to drop me your email and no deleting your diaries it makes me look like I'm talking to myself. 

A pleasure as always x

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 16:16

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

All the best Alan,  thanks for making the last few years that bit more enjoyable x

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 17:00

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

It is just me that this has come way out of left field for then :-(

Bye Pops, hope you drop back in to visit from time to time...It’s been an absolute pleasure walking alongside you these past months - One of your little girls.

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 18:00

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Arghhhhh....won't be the same without you old duffer...I'll so miss our little banters...but a blokes got to do what a blokes got to do...take a massive pat on your back for all the encouragment youve been to me and many more...priceless. ..
Take care of you and yours...
Big big hug....xxxx

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 18:22

Sech7

Joined:
2017-05-03

I've always admired your effort and dedication to helping people, especially with new members.
All the best

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 19:15

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I am confused - are you stopping your diary posts?

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 22:01

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Thanks for being such a great role model to us all ! You're one heck of an inspiration .

Sars 

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 22:09

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Not known you for long Alan but by 'eck have you made a positive impact to so many of us, including me, on here.

I wish you all the very best Alan, you're a good'un and there ain't enough good'uns in the world!

 

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 22:43

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Wishing you well Alan.

Feel the rain - don't just get rained on.

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 23:51

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Not sure why the ‘new’ user name has a completely made up date or why some of the handles are still Alan135...For reference, to my knowledge, this diarist has been ‘clean’ since he came to this site & didn’t join prior to 2009 & have years of break outs.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 00:32

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Bye Alan. But I think you'll be back....You'll miss this place!

No seriously, I think that I know what where you're coming from. Gambling has consumed you for so many years and then you put your heart and soul into supporting everyone on gamcare.

Eventually, we have to move on. Because thoughts of gambling can be painful.

You are an amazing bloke; Honest, giving, funny, loving family man.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 07:58

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

You'll be missed, gave some fantastic advice to people broken by gambling, thanks for all your posts.

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