GamCare Logo
1026 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted on:
Wed, 15/06/2016 - 18:20

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi folks,

I did something silly after work.
I went into a branch of a bookies i'd been self excluded from.
This woman came over and hit the collect button and said you are self excluded.

So embarassing. Although i thanked her.

Toad.

Posted on:
Thu, 16/06/2016 - 07:54

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning Amphibians,

Just arrived in work. I'm not feeling too bad today.

Athough i still feel stupid going into the self excluded bookies yesterday. Although toad had 3 pints so he was not thinking straight. Not really making any excuses. Just stupid.

I'm leaving around 12 today. Go home and get a few beers for the euros. Loads of work to clear up first.

Gambling is a daily battle. Am i ready to manage my finances? Absolutely not. I will review in at least 6months.

My wife is brilliant with money. She is sensible. She has a stressful job being a principle of a primary school. I don't know how she does it sometimes.

I'm always there for her and i look after her. We are a team and gambling won't beat us.

Toad 1 bookies 0

Go toad.
Toad

Posted on:
Thu, 16/06/2016 - 19:17

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi all,

Come on Northern Ireland. The green and white army.

Yeah!!!!

Toad

Posted on:
Thu, 16/06/2016 - 20:55

SwordFish

Joined:
2015-10-31

Toad

It was nice chatting to you in chat tonight. 

I really hope you find the strength to stop gambling altogether. Whatever happens you sound like you have a good wife behind you who is supporting you. 

Good luck 

Gaz

Posted on:
Thu, 16/06/2016 - 22:33

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi Swordfish,

Very kind words and much appreciated. We had a good chat so thankyou. I will never give up trying to stop.

Toad.

Posted on:
Fri, 17/06/2016 - 07:07

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

Very tired today. This week has been busy. No urges to gamble today.

Have a good day.
Toad.

Posted on:
Fri, 17/06/2016 - 12:17

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Dear Forum Members

There have been several warnings from Forum Admin regarding insults being exchanged on this diary and others. Everyone involved is aware of our rules about treating others with respect but seems to be choosing to disregard them. Please take this as a final warning that any further behaviour of this kind will result in some members accounts being set to moderation so you will be unable to post without the post first being approved.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Fri, 17/06/2016 - 12:20

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

Just having 1 beer. No gambling urges. I hope you are all having a good day.

Toad.

Posted on:
Sat, 18/06/2016 - 07:03

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

I'm up early painting the decking. It's going to be a quiet weekend.

No thoughts of gambling today. I don't want to be anywhere near the bookies.

Maybe 3 or 4 years ago i'd be planning to do a few horses.

It's not worth the hastle. As the advert says :-

' if the fun stops, STOP '

● TOAD

Posted on:
Sun, 19/06/2016 - 10:01

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Day 2,

Good morning all. No gambling yesterday and today the bookies are closed.

It's going to be another great day.

I wish you all the best in your recovery.

Toad.

Posted on:
Sun, 19/06/2016 - 21:13

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

I'm going to try a change this week and do no gambling on lunch I'm gonna have lunch and a ciggy and go back to work after ten mins then after work go straight home. Then I will change a new beginning mate

Posted on:
Mon, 20/06/2016 - 22:48

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi folks,

I posted a poem and gamcare didn't publish it. It was not offensive.

People died for our freedom of speech. Just remember that. Why should i stay with gamcare if i can't voice an opinion???

Toad.

Posted on:
Wed, 22/06/2016 - 07:09

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

I am about to reach a milestone.
Nearly 1000 entries on my diary.
Toad has been constantly questioned as to his commitment on his diary. I have always taken this site seriously. Sadly I have found that if I make jokes people don't find them amusing.
Even when toad goes to a funeral people are laughing and chatting. Life simply goes on folks. So even with your gambling addiction the world keeps spinning and I can hear laughter all around.

After 1000 posts were am I. I hear you all asking that question :-

1) I am debt free. At one point in my 13 years of debt i owed 18k. I am still delighted with how I have progressed.

2) I am alot more wiser with gambling and it's affects.

3) I pass on my knowledge to other gam carers.

4) i am happy on my skin. I mean membrane :-)

5) next month we move into our dream world.

You are so positive toad i hear you all say. Yes i am. Life should be lived and enjoyed. Read my posts and take positivity from them. If i can do it so can you!

So i'm back on my lily pad. Yesterday i was at the bookies at lunch and after work. Is that good? Of course not but today i won't gamble.

So give three cheers to toad.

Hip hip - horay
Hip hip - horay

Good luck in your recovery.
Toad.

PS please post this gamcare as it's positive for others. Thankyou.

Posted on:
Thu, 23/06/2016 - 07:56

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hello Everyone,

Today will be a great day
I have £10 in for lunch and possibly some frog ale later.

Things are going okay. Although i lost £7 yesterday.

No bets today. Staying safe.

I wish you all a happy and healthy day.
Best wishes.
Toad.

Posted on:
Mon, 27/06/2016 - 08:46

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning All.

Day 3.

I'm not in great form today. I have lost my croak.

But hopefully i will get back to my usual self. I have no urges to gamble today so that is good.

Good luck in your recovery.
Toad.

Posted on:
Wed, 29/06/2016 - 07:17

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Good morning All,

Day finish. I hope everyone is doing great.

Yesterday I found my way into the bookies and lost £10. I was annoyed.

Last night I did a bit of thinking and it was not about myself. I was thinking about the users on Gamcare.

Firstly I want to appologise if i offended anyone on here. Sometimes people said stuff and i bit back. No excuse for myself though i was wrong.

My ego can be big being a toad but it's time to think of others.

My anxiety has got really bad lately. I feel terrible. I'm stressed about moving house. We have thus ongoing IVF treatment and now my wife has shingles. 

My work is stressfull, i am drinking too much. I am losing it a bit. The doctor refused me diazapam yesterday as i've been on it 3 months. It did work for me. I stopped the beta blockers.

I recently came off anti-depressants after using them 6 months. Toad fell off his lily pad and was throwing up and had the runs too.

What I am trying to say is that i am probably not well. Coming on here relapsing constantly is not helping other users.

I have decided to quit my diary. It was not an easy decision.

I announced it on my lily pad to the creatures on the pond. The dragonfly colapsed and the kingfisher flew into a tree. The water fowl cried and the water rat ( the book maker ) well he didn't care for my welfare. Just wanted my cash.

The only good news is that i am getting some money from my late grannys farm. She died in the year 2000. A great woman.

We all know our health is more important but it cheered me up.

I want to thank Gamcare for all their support.

I want to thank each and everyone of you that offered me support on here. Loxxie, Alan, Balvaird, oldham, cynical wife and swordfish. Sorry if i missed anyone.

One thing i will do is keep reading posts and also read my own diary and the advice i was given.

Thankyou again from the bottom of my heart. I was swimming along the pond a few days.

Just made the bank and i have hopped into a sheltered place near the pond.

A few rocks lying. I feel safer here.

I hope god looks after me and I make a better life for me and Mrs Toad.

This really is a long goodbye. Ribit,ribit and Toad was gone.

The world still spins and life goes on.

Please read toads diary and learn from his mistakes.

Goodbye.

Toad.

Posted on:
Wed, 29/06/2016 - 12:20

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Paul,

I wish you and your wife every success in the future. Please keep your diary close and the forum as well. Always here if you feel the need to "pop in".

Best wishes

Posted on:
Thu, 30/06/2016 - 12:00

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Paul

Thank you for your kind advice. My point is that non gambling has made me a stronger individual who will no longer be walked over.

Best wishes

Posted on:
Tue, 05/07/2016 - 09:03

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hello All.

Good luck in your recovery.
Toad.

Posted on:
Tue, 05/07/2016 - 14:29

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Day 0,

Lost 5k today on fobt. Terrible day. Feeling numb.

I need back here for recovery.
Toad.

Posted on:
Tue, 05/07/2016 - 17:09

Garyl1976

Joined:
2015-01-02

Sorry to hear that Toad (especially as I thought Mrs Toad had control over your Finances?)

That's pretty irrelevant though - it's up to you what direction you hop to now. Get those exclusions in place? Hand over full control of Finances? Get help? Continue making the same mistakes?

I hope your next lily pad is a safer one. 

Posted on:
Tue, 05/07/2016 - 18:23

WCID

Joined:
2015-11-29

sorry to hear this toad that is a lot of money to loose. 

Posted on:
Tue, 05/07/2016 - 21:30

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Thankyou WCID and Gary,

I left the door open a millimetre and Mr Bookies came in.

Toad has fallen off his lily pad.
Toad.

Posted on:
Wed, 06/07/2016 - 17:06

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

Can it get any worse. Just got a tax bill £2578.79.

I am in a dark pond.
Toad.

Posted on:
Thu, 07/07/2016 - 20:43

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Sorry this continues to not improve for you toad. Maybe time to start thinking & doing things differently

Posted on:
Fri, 08/07/2016 - 09:24

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,  That is my last ever bet. I was told off at the bookies for pulling the payout voucher of £1 too quick. The way the clerks speak to customers as if we are all losers. I snapped back at him. He asked me was i angry because i was losing? I've had enough. I won 't be back. Toad won't be treated like that. Never again. I deserve better. So back on my lily pad. I am safe now. The sun has come out and i spot a kingfisher flying by. Some butterflies and the smell of fresh air. It's a new beginning. I feel excited now and happy for the future. Next week me and mrs toad move to our new lily pad. A new beginning full of hopes and dreams. Toad.

Posted on:
Fri, 08/07/2016 - 11:34

triangle

Joined:
2014-03-14

Please don't tell us about your active bets Toad.  How do you think that may affect others struggling with their decision and reading this?

Posted on:
Fri, 08/07/2016 - 11:41

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Gambler Toad

We have deleted the line concerning an active bet.

Kind regards

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Sat, 09/07/2016 - 03:49

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All,

Just back from the photographer. Do you like my new picture?

Toad.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/07/2016 - 07:03

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning All.

Day 4.

I am feeling really positive even though i had a couple of wee setbacks lately. I'm like a rubber ball ......I always bounce back. No point being negative is there. So this will be a positive post to cheer up y'all.

This Friday me and Mrs Toad get the keys to the new pad. Most of the packing is done. We are going to rent out the current property we live in. So together we have 4 houses. 3 rented out and moving to this new one.

I have come far in the journey of life. 20 years ago I was in my sisters car going somewhere. I was asked how much i earned. I replyed £85 a week and living with mum and dad. Some family members actually laughed.

Well who's laughing now? Me and Mrs Toad are doing just fine. But by no means am i materialistic. I threw money away gambling for years money means a bit but health is everything. It's just good to have a bit of security.

So we all can escape gambling.
Thankyou triangle for congratulating us both.

Toad

Posted on:
Mon, 11/07/2016 - 10:58

triangle

Joined:
2014-03-14

Well done to Mrs Toad. 

Posted on:
Mon, 11/07/2016 - 12:46

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi all,

I just want to wish you all a gamble free day. It's hard staying off gambling. I still struggle with it.

Best wishes.
Toad.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/07/2016 - 08:34

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning All,

I'm in work today for a day. Then tomorrow me and Mrs Toad get the keys to the new pad !!!

I can barely believe we made it. Two and a half years ago i looked into the mirror and wondered who i'd become through gambling.

It was a very large mirror in our living room. I looked wrecked, tired and sad. That's why i came up with the name Toad. I looked at the mirror and I was a toad just like in quantum leap whereby I transformed from human to a large toad.

I told my wife.' I am out of control ' 'Please take control of my finances'This barrier, bar a couple of lapses got me to where we are today.

It truley is a miracle. My credit score turned from poor to excellent in two years and i went to the financial ombudsman to remove 5 defaults from my credit file. Which they did.

This debt and pain was all because of gambling. It really is so destructive. I am still not cured though. I am wise enough to know that danger still resides at the pond. Yes we are moving to a new lily pad but the predators remain. It was a long swim down the pond but it's been worth it. The highs and lows of life.

I will now end on a high.

Tomorrow brings a new hope and beginning. I am so proud and happy. It took alot of strength to make the changes I did. I have been courageous and tenacious too. So let's celebrate for toad.

Hip hip -horay
Hip hip - horay

Toad.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/07/2016 - 22:37

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi folks,

We made it !!!! Me and Mrs Toad are in our new house with all the furniture etc put in.

So happy to bring some positivity to the forum. 1000 entries and it's a happy entry.

We all can succeed if we believe. I wish you all a gamble free day.
Toad.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/07/2016 - 08:58

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning all,

Well yesterday started well then nose dived.

1st mistake :- toad hit the watering hole and had a few cold beers at lunch

2nd mistake :- toad had an empty stomach because he'd rather have a beer than food yesterday.

3rd mistake :- toad was carrying £30

4th mistake :- i still haven't self excluded from the final bookies near work.

5th mistake :- toad was on the fobt roulette and lost the lot.

So i felt quite down yesterday. So will i learn from this? I have to !!!!!

I should never carry cash.
Time-location-money

I don't want to destroy what we have got me and Mrs Toad.

One thing is for sure. Life goes on at the pond. The other inhabitants of the pond have lost interest in toad. They have given all they can in their support and time.

I need to fight back. I can do this!!!

Come on toad. Beat the count!!!!
TOAD

Posted on:
Wed, 20/07/2016 - 17:47

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Welcome back Mr Toad. The new life only lasted a short while as Mr Gamble said hi and toad jumped straight to his master the fobt.

I was hoping for better news but if you leave the door open you will gamble. Close the door and you may have a chance.

What words of wisdom are coming next?

Tomorrow is a fresh start perhaps. I wont bring money. I wont visit the fobt.

All very hollow. Perhapd a period of contemplation whilst you read your diary. Advice has been given by very good people. Somehow you are unwilling or unable to accept.

Choice is yours (again)

Posted on:
Mon, 25/07/2016 - 07:09

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi All and Balvaird,

Well £8.2k hit my account. Money left from property remortgage.

I spent 5 hours discussing with the wife what to do. In the end i wired it to her account for us.
It is safe there but i wanted to keep it in my account.

Deep down i know i made the right decision.
Toad

My diary is already moderated. Thankyou Balvaird for your support.

Posted on:
Mon, 25/07/2016 - 15:53

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Admin the serial boasting of winning on this diary is incredibley damaging to those fighting their addiction. Surely its time to stop this.

Posted on:
Mon, 25/07/2016 - 17:01

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

?

Posted on:
Mon, 25/07/2016 - 17:01

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Admin

Please can this user be moderated before anymore posts are allowed.

The advice has been given on many occassions which is generally thrown back at people and the gambling continues daily.

This is a non gamblimg forum - not one to rub peoples noses in it on a regular basis

Posted on:
Mon, 25/07/2016 - 21:06

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi folks,

Just a wee message to thankyou a for your support. Good lucky in your recovery Balvaird.

Toad.

Posted on:
Tue, 26/07/2016 - 10:59

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Good morning All,

A nice day it is too. Meeting Mrs Toad for lunch today then taking minutes for a meeting this afternoon.

Life can get busy at the pond. I'm staying on my pad and staying safe. No gambling today.

I am making great progress.

I wish you all a gamble free day.

Can i just repeat that gamcare moderate me and i am also being carefull what i write.

Gambling is not a joke and the last thing i want is to offend anyone on here. The gamcare administrators have been very helpful to me on many occassions. So can i just take this opportunity to thank them.

Please respect my diary and my recovery. I will never mention finances again....

Toad

28th July.

No gambling today. Just lying low. Staying firmly planted on the lily pad.

No exploring the pond today.

Good luck y'all.
Toady

Posted on:
Fri, 29/07/2016 - 07:32

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Good morning all,

I had a light breakfast of toast. In town early so having a coffee. Thankfully it's Friday.

I know this is a really silly thing to do but I have £500 with me in my pocket. I have no urges to gamble today.

Me and the wife booked a weekend away Saturday week. A break from the rat race.

I don't know what the future holds but i really need to stay away from the fobts. They are highly addictive.

Anyway i wish you all a gamble free day.
Toad..

Posted on:
Mon, 01/08/2016 - 07:04

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Morning All,

Re: my last post. Yes it was silly to bring £500 to work on the Friday.

I had no urges to gamble that morning but decided to take a half day and visit the turfs i still haven't self excluded from that afternoon.

So i was on the fobt roulette my Master. The fobt gobbled Toad up and spat him out penniless in the space of an hour.

The strange thing was i went home and didn't care. Sure i'd won most of it Toad said.

So i have a new plan in place today. My wife wires me £50 to keep me Sunday to Sunday so i need to budget. I will never carry big money again at the pond.

I didn't see the point in beating myself up over it. The money had gone to my Master the fobt.

But Toad refuses to go down under. Toad is like a rubber ball and always bounces back.

I leave you some positivity from my lily pad :-

ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE :-)

Do do
Do do , do do do do do
So always............come on you know the rest!!!!

●●● Toad ●●●

Posted on:
Mon, 01/08/2016 - 12:13

triangle

Joined:
2014-03-14

I like keeping my thoughts positive as well Toad.

From my experience, don't forget there's more help available.  Its not a bad thing to accept help.  If anything it shows someone being honest with who they are.  Something i'm still working on myself. 

Posted on:
Mon, 01/08/2016 - 13:43

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hello Triangle,

That was really good advice. I think i do need more help to be honest. Still struggling with this addiction.

It's almost like i am still chasing my losses.

Good look folks in your recovery.
Toad.

Posted on:
Mon, 01/08/2016 - 15:58

Garyl1976

Joined:
2015-01-02

Glad you have a new plan in place Toad....the old one really wasn't cutting the mustard.

Positive actions lead to positive rewards. I hope you have reached a turning point and I wish you well.

Posted on:
Mon, 01/08/2016 - 22:15

gambler.toad

Joined:
2015-09-21

Hi Garyl1976,

My mum is being kept in hospital tonight for observation. She took dizzy spells today and a sore arm.

It makes you think about life in general. I am a bit worried.

I never did tell my mum and dad about my gambling problem. I didn't want to let them down and stress them.

This year hasn't been great apart from the house move. We will get by.

I wish everyone well.
Toad.

Posted on:
Tue, 02/08/2016 - 16:00

Jake15

Joined:
2016-07-30

Hi I'm new here and have just finished reading your diary how do I start my own?

Posted on:
Tue, 02/08/2016 - 16:29

Garyl1976

Joined:
2015-01-02

Sorry to hear that Toad...I truly am. I've mentioned on my diary before that my biggest regret is not stopping gambling while my mum was ill in hospital. I was still lying and stealing from her while she was in her in final days in Feb 2014 ; I had told her I had quit gambling and was attending GA...both lies.

I had told my parents I had stopped gambling. My dad also has severe Dementia now but I am able to fully help him where I can. No deception, no lies.

Pages

Pages

Topic locked