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Nearly 30 years...

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 22:39

rich27

Joined:
2016-06-25

Hi Everyone!

After nearly 30 years of highs, terrible lows and half hearted attempts at quitting, I’ve finally had enough of gambling. Having cost myself relationships, top jobs, houses, money, my freedom for 12 months and suffered in silence (until being exposed) whilst maintaining a happy exterior it all ended with a £5.85 bet on trap 1 in the 6.18 at Sheffield...Led by 3 lengths going down the back straight only to fade badly into last place, it ran like it had been fed a meat pie before the off and after the initial pleasure immediately got heartburn. It probably was fed a pie and we’ve all experienced the side effects...

The £5.85 was my final stake as it was the last £6 left on my credit card after the 2.5% charge on********. The straw that broke the camel’s back? Or maybe it was the previous £5 million staked and over £600k lost? Either way, I’m done. It was all a buzz at first, standing in the bookies with your mates at 17, then standing in the bookies with randoms who became a kind of friend, then depositing cash online and losing sight of it’s value. The rise of online did me, both the bookies and access to my own and others cash. You simply couldn’t stake the money I did on the high street, they used to phone through a fifty quid greyhound bet, but traders happily accept a grand bet online. That’s not to blame the bookies, they lay the odds and I took them, or my bank and employer, who trusted me and I threw it in their face. Gambling makes good people lose sight, judgement, their mind and many other things.

You’d think having disgraced yourself with family and friends, lost everything and more through dishonesty and spending time at Her Majesty’s pleasure, gambling would be a poor option? Not for me. I know right from wrong, I had destroyed everything, I knew what the cause was and that only a fool keeps doing the same thing and expecting a different result...Gambling takes over you, your life, your thoughts and stops rational thinking. I don’t even know why I do it, I’m not that interested in money, which is clear as I’ve gambled everything I can get my hands on without thinking about bills, eating or anything else! When I’ve got it I’m generous to a fault but more often than not I now hide myself away as I can’t afford a round...Anyway, I digress!! The fact is gambling ruined me and others, yet I kept going back for more, until now.

There have been few highs or lows involving a single bet for many years, a win or loss felt the same, no buzz, I think you become numb. When you place so many bets during a day, week, month, the low normally comes at the end of a period when you have no stake left. I’ve exhausted all credit, monies, payday loans available to me again until payday, which is 3 weeks away, and I’m in a hole again. This is not an unusual position! I’ve been betting small stakes as fortunately this is all my circumstances now allow, but something happened with the £5.85 bet the other day which changed my mindset, I was done!! Sick of it, after nearly 30 years, millions in stakes, thousands in losses, heartache, prison, bankruptcy, suffering for all around me, I was done with it. I’ve been down to nothing thousands of times before and as soon as money came available, I gambled. My eBay app pinged minutes later with a sale for £66 for a signed Liverpool football which even as a United fan was way under priced! Stake money, no, not this time. My last remaining online account, after self excluding from everywhere else years ago, was about to be excluded...Many of us have done it, we’re all in the same boat, self excluded but kept a sneaky one open? Well it went and the eBay money stayed with me. When you’ve blown all that money, 60 notes is chicken feed I guess? It’s not and I’ve felt great the last couple of days.

As you’ve probably gathered, this moment has been coming for sometime. I’ve been a “voyeur” of this forum for a little while, admiring from afar the efforts of all those registered and having had counselling from Gamcare myself, I wish everyone well with their efforts. Writing these few lines has been therapeutic in itself and although I may not report back everyday, I will update from time to time.

Keep up the good work folks, we all know it’s tough!!

Rich

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 12:22

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Welcome Rich27!

It's good to see you posting on the forum, and we're glad that reading the forum has been a support to you. We're happy for anyone to get inspiration by reading the forum - that's why it's publicly available and you don't even have to register to read the posts. 

Your story will no doubt be familiar to many here. Whatever the straw that breaks the camel's back, whether it's a £5.85 bet or a financial crisis, the important thing is that you are seeking help for your addiction. It sounds like you've already had support from GamCare but you are welcome to contact us again, either on the HelpLine or the NetLine. We can always fix up counselling again for you. 

Best wishes

Deirdre

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Sat, 09/12/2017 - 00:37

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hello Rich. I'm kinda surprised that you haven't had more response to your incredible post. Hey, I thought that I got it bad, but yours truly is a bridge too far.

You've detailed just how destructive this addiction can be, whilst highlighting the mind games and torture endured. I do hope that you have found a way forward and would be interested to know of your circumstances and current status. I wish you well.

Posted on:
Sat, 09/12/2017 - 02:50

Norland27

Joined:
2017-12-07

Wow. I don't know what to say Rich, I've done much of what you've done (apart from prison luckily) since I was 16, standing in the bookies lying about my age. I'm 34 now and sick to death of the horrible and disgusting effects of gambling. Keeping going stick to it. All I can say is try to find something you can get some buzz out of and do it to replace the buzz of gambling. It could be helping others on here, giving the benefit of 30 years experience. Good luck.

Posted on:
Sat, 09/12/2017 - 22:23

Fighter_1

Joined:
2014-01-07

lHi Rich,

Very honest post there,  seems you've taken this addiction we suffer to every extreme possible.

I wish you all the best with your recovery and I will look out for your updates.

I'm back again after a relapse and sick of the feelings too.  I hope your wise words will help me also

All the best