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Posted on:
Wed, 13/12/2017 - 00:42

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Hi moorey just had a read of your diary and wanted to say congratulations on 50 days (well 52 now!!)

You sound very determined in your posts and keeping positive, what do you think has made the difference and helped you stay gf? For me it has been handing over financials and showing my partner every access to my accounts. I thought I would be fighting this all the way before I did it but in fact its been a massive relief.

Also being grateful to get to the end of each day gamble free which is a great feeling really.

Keep going Moorey let's make it a great Christmas this year without the stress of lies and worry!! Its so not worth it.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/12/2017 - 04:58

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

4D wrote:
Hi moorey just had a read of your diary and wanted to say congratulations on 50 days (well 52 now!!) You sound very determined in your posts and keeping positive, what do you think has made the difference and helped you stay gf? For me it has been handing over financials and showing my partner every access to my accounts. I thought I would be fighting this all the way before I did it but in fact its been a massive relief. Also being grateful to get to the end of each day gamble free which is a great feeling really. Keep going Moorey let's make it a great Christmas this year without the stress of lies and worry!! Its so not worth it.

I’m not quite sure what the difference has been this time. I’m still very much in control of my own finances, which I understand is a big risk, but I think the penny is beginning to drop on what gambling really is all about. I’m educating myself more about ‘gambling’ as a subject and reading lots of material about it.

I’m also making sure I fill my days with things, even if they cost. My argument being that I’d be spending 2 or 3 times that gambling, so why not put the money to better use to make my life a happier and more fulfilling one. It’s become more and more apparant that most of my gambling was done through sheer boredom which is my fault. I’ve neglected a lot of things which has made me want to gamble in the past.

Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to stop gambling and to try and save every penny in the process to claw things back. I’ve tried that method and it just frustrates you to the point of wanting to gamble again to add a bit of purpose and excitement to your life. 

(So long as you don’t go ‘too’ overboard with the spending, of course!).

So I’d say the biggest difference I’ve made is to relax more during my recovery, and not be too hard on myself. My recovery doesn’t have to be about saving every penny. It’s about enjoying life.

Yesterday I bought a few beers and a smart shirt to go out at the weekend. I wouldn’t have done that whilst I was gambling. I’d have spent the same money (and the rest!) on gambling. 

Comgratulations on your 98 days too 4D. Not long to go now until the century. 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/12/2017 - 16:01

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 53

Not much to say other than it’s been another gamble free day. 

As expected, urges have been less frequent during the week. I find myself not really thinking about gambling too much. In fact the main reason I sometimes remember to come onto this site is because it’s already there as I open up ‘safari’ on my iPhone. Otherwise, I think I’d forget sometimes. 

Weekends tend to be a lot tougher, but I’m totally spurred on by my goal to reach Christmas and New year gamble free. 

Once I’ve hit those goals (hopefully!) I’ll need to reassess and set new targets because it would be so easy to get there and  think it’s ‘mission accomplished’. 

Moorey

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 22:39

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 56

Another week draws to a close. Urges this weekend were minimul. 

Not much else to report. 

I still can’t believe I’m up to 56 days. It may not seem a lot to some people, but for me, it’s huge. 

On Wednesday I get paid which will be my 3rd pay day without gambling. 

Things starting to look much better than it was 56 days ago. 

I’m all set for a great Christmas if I can stay gamble free until then. 

Moorey

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 10:02

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 59 

I’m off work now for the next couple of weeks so I’ll use that time to relax, enjoy my Christmas and to try and get myself fit again. 

Happy to report that there’s been no urges since my last update. 

I had a heavy night last night with friends, so I’m looking forward to a quiet one tonight. 

Got paid today and my finances are looking healthier than they were 59 days ago (or 3 pay cheques ago). Fortunately, I am one of those lucky ones who hasn’t aqquired any kind of debt over the years. I’ve always had some ‘willpower’ to avoid that and to stop gambling when my money ran out. 

Some may see this as not hitting ‘rock bottom’ and to be fair, I couldn’t disagree. But for me, someone who has always been used to having a healthy amount of savings in the bank, I’ve hit a particular place where I have identified that I am simply treading water and heading towards a life of misery and struggle. I don’t like the feeling of uncertainty. Not knowing if I’ll need some money to pay for an unexpected bill. Having zero savings only makes me more anxious.

I live on my own and don’t earn a particularly great wage. So I cannot afford to waste money each month gambling.

Today, I will not gamble.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 10:18

Lh8609

Joined:
2017-11-20

I'm the same, on my own and earn peanuts but always had savings in the bank which I've gambled most of away. The thought of not having a safety net for a rainy day terrifies me. And with 2 kids there are always unexpected expenses. This week I am putting 177 quid away towards rebuilding my savings. Day 5 and feeling strong. I wish you all the luck and a happy Christmas x

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 11:09

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Lh8609 wrote:
I'm the same, on my own and earn peanuts but always had savings in the bank which I've gambled most of away. The thought of not having a safety net for a rainy day terrifies me. And with 2 kids there are always unexpected expenses. This week I am putting 177 quid away towards rebuilding my savings. Day 5 and feeling strong. I wish you all the luck and a happy Christmas x

Well done on reaching Day 5. That first week is always tough because the memory is still relatively fresh in your mind. But the days will soon stack up in good time. Keep setting yourself small, achievable targets. 

Think how great you’ll feel on Christmas morning if you’ve still not gambled. 

Stay strong and have a lovely Christmas too :)

Posted on:
Thu, 21/12/2017 - 11:12

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 60 - 2 months Gamble Free

I’m feeling pretty good about things this morning. 4 days until Christmas, finances looking a touch better recently and now I’ve hit the 2 month milestone. 

2 months felt like a pipe dream to me. I never thought I could achieve that. My head was way too obsessed with gambling. 

The only downside to not gambling has been that I’ve put an extra stone on in the process. I’ve obviously got more of an appetite when I’m not gambling and it’s taken me until now to realise that. There were times during my gambling where I’d skip meals because I was either too focused on gambling or I’d just lost a lot of money and therefore lost my appetite.  

So I need to rectify my weight before it gets out of hand. 

Otherwise, I’m feeling positive :)

Moorey

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 09:24

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 62

2 days away from my initial Christmas target. I honestly never thought I’d get this close.

It’s taken a lot of strength and determination on my part but I’m feeling much better for it. 

I’ve kept myself busy, ridden the waves of temptation and generally warned myself of the consequences of gambling. 

I go back in my head to that dark day on Sunday 22nd Oct where I felt like utter ****. Do I want to go through that again?

I’ve had some great days/nights over the last 9 weeks that maybe couldn’t have happened had I still been gambling. 

Posted on:
Fri, 29/12/2017 - 23:02

Stephen 67

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Moorey. Hope your ok and keeping well. Looking forward to me you all and our GamCare friends, shoulder to shoulder, going for a full calender year gamble free. It will be challenging, but life is a challenge anyway. Take care my friend.

Posted on:
Tue, 09/01/2018 - 20:04

Nonchaser

Joined:
2016-11-25

Hi Moore, how are you my friend?

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