Today is my first post on here, I have been thinking about it for days but finally thought I need the support of others.
This is me on day 3 of no gambling.
I am at a low but trying to feel positive about the future the hardest part is seeing the level of debt I have put not only myself into but my family under. I have told no one to date about the extent of my losses and feel ashamed. I have lost seriously over the last 8 months more so than ever before ending on 31st Jan when I lost control and must of lost £20k in the day ( I am not rich and all this was on credit cards ), the chips on the roulette wheel just felt like tokens I lost concept of reality that day and now it hurts like hell. The devil controlled me and from now on no more. The thing that hurts me most at the minute is the hidden secret. I have set up a meeting for a counsellor as I think I need to tell someone.
My debts will fall in time I am sure of that I just need to get there. I have planned the next five years of repayments already and much as I think OMG I see a light at the end when I can hopefully be free from this addiction. Its not helped by everywhere you look there are adverts for casions etc, online, TV everywhere aaaarrrrggghhh, maybe that the rawness of the situation that I see it more than ever before.
I will try keep my posts going as I feel it will help, and to help others if I can with my support would be the greatest gift I can give at this time. Please guide me if I post things in the wrong area, I am new to this forum chat business.