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my first post

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#1 Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 15:00

enuf_is_enuf

Joined:
2017-02-03

Hi all

Today is my first post on here, I have been thinking about it for days but finally thought I need the support of others.

This is me on day 3 of no gambling.

I am at a low but trying to feel positive about the future the hardest part is seeing the level of debt I have put not only myself into but my family under. I have told no one to date about the extent of my losses and feel ashamed. I have lost seriously over the last 8 months more so than ever before ending on 31st Jan when I lost control and must of lost £20k in the day ( I am not rich and all this was on credit cards ), the chips on the roulette wheel just felt like tokens I lost concept of reality that day and now it hurts like hell. The devil controlled me and from now on no more. The thing that hurts me most at the minute is the hidden secret. I have set up a meeting for a counsellor as I think I need to tell someone.

My debts will fall in time I am sure of that I just need to get there. I have planned the next five years of repayments already and much as I think OMG I see a light at the end when I can hopefully be free from this addiction. Its not helped by everywhere you look there are adverts for casions etc, online, TV everywhere aaaarrrrggghhh, maybe that the rawness of the situation that I see it more than ever before.

I will try keep my posts going as I feel it will help, and to help others if I can with my support would be the greatest gift I can give at this time. Please guide me if I post things in the wrong area, I am new to this forum chat business.

Thanks

Dave

Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 15:58

Pwm101

Joined:
2017-01-23

Well done for posting Dave . I'm only 17GF so I'm not going to give you a load of advice - others will be better placed to do so - like you I have a five year plan re:debt . It's a long time and I'm trying not to think about that too much just more getting through month to month. Anyway your in the right place you've done 3 days already, you sound serious about it . You can do it - I'll be rooting for you. All the best 

Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 16:45

enuf_is_enuf

Joined:
2017-02-03

Pwm - Thanks - 17 days good on you, keep an eye behind you tho coz im right there. Stay strong and positive.

Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 17:25

JMan123

Joined:
2017-02-01

Evening Dave

Well done on the post mate, Im only on day 2 so im right there with you. 

We have all been there on the roulette when hours have passed by glued to a screen.

I have done exactly the same and accounted for every penny of my income and outgoings for the next few years. My aim is to limit the amount of cash surplus I might have at any one time, so any extra will be put away in order to resist the urges, maybe you could do the same.

As cliche as it is; we are all in it together mate.

All the best

Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 18:43

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

First step is to come clean. Yes it will be a hideous conversation and yes there will be bucketloads of unpleasant fallout but laying it on the table makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret and also means you are relieved of the corrosive burden of keeping it secret. It also means you can show your partner what you are doing to eliminate your access to gambling  and get her help in handling finances, setting blockers and watching you self exclude.

Once you've eliminated your access to gambling get signed up for counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and give GA a go. Finding and addressing the root cause of the compulsion is key to maintaining recovery.

Posted on:
Fri, 03/02/2017 - 20:07

Jim24

Joined:
2016-12-17

 

Hi Dave,

Welcome mate, you've made the first step and realised it has to stop. I too had a thing for the wheel of doom and it completely turned my life upside down and inside out, if it helps read my history and that tells you where the train is going. I'm now on day 49 and life is a lot better. I don't really like giving advice and haven't done on this forum much but when I read your story it got to me a little, so all I can say is take each day at a time, talk to someone or you'll end up in a bad place and keep posting on here.... it does help. 

You've made the decision to get off the train to s8itville and via sadness so see this as a fresh start and the beginning of your next happy part of your life.

Stay strong, Jim

Posted on:
Sat, 04/02/2017 - 08:55

enuf_is_enuf

Joined:
2017-02-03

Thx for all the messages of support guys. Day 4 today and it's a busy one with the kids which will help time fly by.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 06/02/2017 - 09:56

enuf_is_enuf

Joined:
2017-02-03

Day 6 - not an easy weekend but I got through it. The sleepless nights and the dreams of winning not helping but I guess these will fade over the coming weeks. The severity of the amount I have lost is still there though, that will take a long time. Looking to the future and being gamble and debt free! roll on 5 years!

Posted on:
Fri, 17/02/2017 - 13:59

enuf_is_enuf

Joined:
2017-02-03

checking back in here, on Day 17 been GF. Things starting to feel more positive. I saw a gamcare counsellor the other day but not sure that did much for me. one step at a time, get paid on 21st and would be great to get from one pay day to next being GF, then on to 50 days, 100 days etc