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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:35

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I'm 33 . Ireland based.

I live at home and I spend most of my free time in my room.

I've gambled about 12 years now. Since I joined college. Got hooked straight away.

I've decided to get some help. I joined gamcare and went to the chat room. Caroline from gamcare recommended ringing dunlewey and I rang them as soon as the chat was over.

I lost over four grand over the weekend . I come from an area with lots of bookies. I was placing big bets in one bookies and walked to another bookies to watch the race so they wouldn't see my reaction if it lost.

Drinking a lot in between gambling and after gambling . Fills a void but creates more problems .

I don't own many clothes. I don't even own a belt for my trousers . I look like dirt .

So I want to change. I want the madness to stop . I read a thread on here about people losing the value of money and I can relate to that . I don't spend money on even bus fare for work but through big money on cartoons.

I want to change.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:49

movingforward2017

Joined:
2017-11-06

Welcome mate, here’s to a brighter tomorrow!

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 23:04

Crossintheroad

Joined:
2017-11-03

You've made a start mate. I'm similar even when I win I can't get out of the bookies so what's the point. Give yourself a massive pay rise don't gamble and spend some of the savings on some new clothes you will feel a lot better

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 23:22

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Crossintheroad wrote:
You've made a start mate. I'm similar even when I win I can't get out of the bookies so what's the point. Give yourself a massive pay rise don't gamble and spend some of the savings on some new clothes you will feel a lot better

See that's what I tell myself . Sure I've been wanting to buy a tracksuit for about a year now. I literally cannot spend money on anything other than gamble. Never mind clothes I walk to work .

And it's me doing this to myself. That head is messed up and I'm sick of it

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 20:11

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Really struggling today .

Day 2.

Head has a million thoughts and can't settle on one.

Mood is all over the place . Sad angry lost determined motivated confused depressed. Really finding things tough.

Work is tough. Getting up early and working hard and nothing to show for fault. And it's only myself to blame

Counselling place never got back to me.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 20:34

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hi Stephen

I also didn't spend any of my money on anything other than gambling too. We get a messed up view of what money even is. We gamble large sums never experiencing what that money can do for us used in a "normal" way. I never wanted to "waste" my money on anything other than gambling to be honest. Im still having a few issues treating myself but im in control now. I don't have access to my bank accounts, i passed that over but i took the decision to do this to help myself.

Have you told anyone you have contact with in the real world? It helps a lot if you can talk this out and get the weight of this off you a little in the early days. It also means you can hand control of your finances over and not have to worry about the stress of managing money around your addiction for the time being. This can be as simple and just giving over your credit/debit cards and budgeting for bills, withdrawing the cash out.

Other than that its about putting blocks in place to stop you having the ability to gamble. Take the steps that you know will help you. Self exclude and take gamblings power away from you. Stay strong, getting a few days gamble free behind you will help you see things more clearly and will allow you to plan a little further. Right now its one day at a time, just let the dust settle and try work out why you turn to gambling.

Don't be so hard on yourself for what has gone, its done. Its not nice to think about but you cant change that. Focus on what you can do to beat this, learn about your addiction and things will improve in the future.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 20:36

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Chase counselling up mate. You need them, they will help you.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 20:42

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I tried handing over my finances. I end up falling out with people and get it handed back.
And I tried self excluding from shops last week but I just went to different bookies ( even though I wrote down on the form to exclude from all )

And everyone knows at this stage I've a gambling problem . When I have a few drinks I tell the world. And sure you'd know by looking at me I have problems. Like I said in my first post I can't even get the head straight to buy myself a belt for my trousers

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 09:29

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I really want to be dead.  Life is s hit.

Went to work. they supply bread so you can make some toast.  After queuing up to make toast the bread was frozen.  I sit in a row of desks in an office.  the two women in front of me have spent the last hour taking about their kids and xmas.  the woman behind me has a weird obession with her boyfriend and brings her into to every conversation.  My head is killing me trying to do some work and listen to **** non stop.

Everything is a f uckin struggle

I wish i was dead.  Life is s hit.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 09:32

Wilsy

Joined:
2012-02-22

Stephen, it's all getting on top of you I am in the same position, I had a complete meltdown last week and just didn't want to be around anymore. Can you get some time off work or have you some annual leave, maybe have some time to yourself or go stay with family, get some tlc or company?

Life is **** when we are at our lowest, just got to hang in there.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 18:47

movingforward2017

Joined:
2017-11-06

Stephen mate, are you alright? It sounds like you’re really down at the moment. I’m geniunely concerned and want you to know that there are people that care, it may not feel like it sometimes but there are. Life is only beautiful if we allow it to be. Let it go that you’ve made some mistakes and make tomorrow the day where you take steps towards the life you desire.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 20:24

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

No I'm not great but thanks for the people asking. I have some annual leave next week.
I'm just sick of this . I spent more time debating buying a 4e sandwich than throwing hundreds on a cartoon race . And I'm sick of myself to be honest . My own shadow has f ucking left me .

And I'm using this as a rant . Because I keep this all in normally and it comes out in the wrong ways

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 20:40

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Any news on the counselling Stephen? If not please chase them up. These boards help to type out a rant but nothing releases like talking to someone that understands the pain you are going through.

Get help and this will be as bad as it'll get mate. Things will improve, i know its hard to believe that some times.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 22:05

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

sjwsjw wrote:

Any news on the counselling Stephen? If not please chase them up. These boards help to type out a rant but nothing releases like talking to someone that understands the pain you are going through.

Get help and this will be as bad as it'll get mate. Things will improve, i know its hard to believe that some times.

I heard nothing back . ***** em. Putting myself out there asking for help and not even a text to acknowledge me

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 22:47

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, I'm guessing it's you and you'll probably remember me?
Sorry to hear you're not in a very good place.
All I'll say is, you've managed to stop for a while before therefore you can do it again. You just have to take it a day at a time.
Rant on here all you like if it helps you. It's good to have you back even though you're struggling. It's better to struggle with people who understand than on your own.
If you don't know of me, I apologise but send you a bucketful of strength regardless
Lml x

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 10:18

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Stephen - Like LML above I think you sound like someone we both used to talk to quite a long time ago.  As with LML - apologies if it is not you.  However, the story is so similar and life sounds so dismal for you.  I suppose I can only repeat support and a little advice as the parent of a  young gambler.  Advice that you may have read before.  I always suggest writing down an action plan of things you need to to to turn your life around and ticking items off the list as you do them.  i.e. Ring Gamcare - be patient if they are busy - you will get through eventually. Start not to think everyone is anti-you. They are not - they are trying to help. 

Try to cut down on the alcohol as that can fuel the need to gamble and can make you more anxious and short-tempered.

Concentrate on cleaning your self up - Spend your gambling money on getting t some new clothes, get a hair cut. Anything that will make you feel a bit better about yourself. 

Try looking for things to do that don't cost a lot or save up your money to go to the cinema once a month. Running costs nothing and swimming is cheap and so are gyms now.  Try and keep busy. Thee are even great things to watch on TV now.

Keep your finances handed over.  Write a budget plan for the month between paydays and stick to it.  Stay close to your family.

If you have anger issues or feel so depressed you can see no way out then go to your GP and see if you can get some counselling or there are Samaritan type help-lines you can ring.

Count today as Day 1 of not gambling and keep counting the g-free days.

I can see you find your workmates irritating but you cannot deny other people having happy chats about things and that is  large offices I am afraid.  How much effort would it take you to raise a smile to them or ask them what they are all doing for Xmas day etc?  You don't have to see these people socially but it does help if you can try and get  on with them all during the day.  It might help you to feel less stressed if you start talking to people and it makes work far more enjoyable.

I cannot say any more to you now Stephen.  Many kind people on here will offer you their time,  support and advice  but there is a  point where you really have to start helping yourself as well. Hope this is Day 1 of the beginning of a new life for you, I really do.

Take Care

 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 12:43

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Dear Stephen 55570,

We're sorry to hear that you haven't heard back about counselling. I have sent you an email.

Best wishes

Deirdre

Forum Admin.

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 12:15

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Still in bed and it's past 12. I usually wake up early on the weekend but the last couple of weeks I haven't had much sleep.

Felt a bit determined last night . The job sent around the travel bus scheme. Basically they would pay for your annual bus ticket and deduct it from your monthly wage. Would save me a lot of problems if I applied for that .

Then as I walked home I thought I'd buy an annual gym membership with my pay in two weeks time and get back into that.

But feeling down again this morning. Sitting in bed with absolutely nothing to do and no money to even think of something. I had planned on going for a walk but just feel down.

I'm in a WhatsApp group with some lads from a stag I went to two years ago reading the group chat this morning made me sad everyone going out with there mates or girlfriends for the Ireland match tonight.

Yea so just a bit of waffle and self pity from me today

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 13:11

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen,
Great idea - get yourself signed up on the bus scheme and join that gym!
I'm taking you're the same stephen from before, hope you don't mind me being personal but you were a good looking bloke on your photo. I see no reason, once you've sorted your gambling problems out, why you shouldn't be able to contribute to the WhatsApp site yourself in the future.
Gambling wears us down and knocks, not only the stuffing, but the confidence and self-worth out of us. Get rid of the gambling and it'll give you a chance to build yourself up.
You have a job, intelligence (all the exams you've passed) and, if you can be determined to knock the gambling on the head, a future that will be worth living. You're so young, you have an income, the world is your oyster - get some help, make yourself a plan, get out there and start living again! x

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 13:40

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I'm the same guy.
I've a problem with my eyes that you can't tell in photos . Trust me I look horrendous

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 22:46

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I know you'll probably think its easy for me to say and l should shut up but there's people with many difficulties/obstacles which they have to overcome.
There are also many people in this big wide world who can see past these and love another person for who they are and not for what they look like. The only way you can give yourself more of a chance to meet someone is by being happy with yourself and I'm sure this will be easier if you if you could become gamble free.
Stop using gambling as your crutch. As you have found out over the last few years it doesn't work. You must try something different. You must learn to love yourself and feel you are worthy of being loved because the truth of the matter is, you are.
Really sorry if I'm going over the top but I hate to think of you living the life you are at the moment. You have so much going for you, I just wish you could find a way to break the triangle so you can never gamble again. Spend your hard earned cash on you because, as much as you dont think it, you truly are worth it x

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 06:50

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Stephen

While you are in the house climb out of bed and get a pen and piece of paper.  Write down

Positives of my life, even things at work that you are good at and all exams  passed etc.  and all good things I have achieved since a child

Write down what you could possibly achieve if you use all of these good points

Write down how you you think you could improve on anything by maybe looking at some of the supportive posts on here and reading them back

Write down any feelings you have about your anxieties about your eye, gambling, alcohol, just write it all down.  It really is therapeutic and will also give you something to do. 

 

I can see a young intelligent  person who despite all of their anxieties is holding down a good job. Someone who is physically fit enough to join a gym (a good point to start meeting people and talking to the trainers etc.). So you have a strength of character that keeps you going.  Use that character Stephen and listen to me and LOL. We seem to be sticking by you through thick and thin and hope that this time you are in for a longer recovery. Get that pen and paper now and start writing! Good luck.

 

    

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 17:38

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Had some loose change left in my room on the weekend .

Gambled it out of pure boredom . Started a change of events .

Sold my possessions to gamble .

At home now trying to stop myself from selling my phone at cex to gamble .

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 19:07

adam808

Joined:
2017-08-27

Hi Stephen, I'd reccomend giving GamCare a ring and chat to an advisor? They might be able to help with how you're feeling tonight.

In the mean time, figure out how it went wrong this time. Once you do that you can start to put more blocks in place.

There's lots of support for you, you can do this. Take it one day at a time.

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 22:41

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

So I ended up going to a GA meeting tonight.

Found it very tough. Once I got there I wanted to leave

Once i started talking I couldn't stop. I did cry .

The theme seems to be to give up your bank stuff to another person . I've tried that and it hasn't worked out so not sure what to say

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 07:59

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi Stephen one meeting is not a cure. You have to continue. You have to take advice and try to work towards a gamble free day. You should be putting barriers up to not gamble, not barriers up to stop help. If you gave ALL your finances to another it would work. That means pay direct to someone else, bills from that account direct. If you want to stop you have to stop making excuses. Be accountable by going to GA and being honest. You have to change the way you think. Today is the only day you can deal with. 

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 18:58

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I know one meeting isn't a cure .

The last thing I'm doing is blocking barriers to help. I've tried to get counselling and I have asked people before to mind my finances .

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 22:23

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Really struggling.

10.20 on a Saturday night and I'm in bed watching tv.

I should be out. Having a good time .

What's the point in this .

I want to gamble every day. And when I try and stop I fail.

Really want to get a gym membership next week and a tracksuit and some clothes. But I'm thinking " ah you shouldn't spend money on yourself you've wasted so much money ".

I feel like I'm better off dead

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 23:52

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Yes, you wasted so much money Stephen - we all have!!! For our own sanity we have to draw a line under it, accept it.
Of course you should spend the money on yourself!!! You worked flipping hard for that money, all those hours of studying and sitting exams as well. You have every right to spend any excess left on treating yourself. If you seriously don't want to spend your Saturday night in watching the telly then there's only you who can make the changes happen. I'm going to say this and I apologise big style if I upset you because I know you're hurting but you've been wanting to change for a long time now. Nothing changes if you change nothing. . .
Stop wasting your time, throwing away your hard earned cash. Get your head put into gear, you're the one that matters now. Get yourself a tracksuit, get yourself to the gym, buy yourself some clothes, get yourself that bus pass, get yourself out and put the photos to prove it on your WhatsApp site.
I'm willing you to do this Stephen, I know from previous posts that you are worthy of so much more. As gamparentanon has already said there's a few of us on here who look out for you, we all want you to succeed. I told you yours was one of the very first diarys I read and you stuck in my mind. When I came back to the forum yours was the first diary I looked for. Keep attending GA. Ask for help,ask for support, do whatever you need to to to get yourself out of this hole that you've found yourself in.
I've said before but I'll say it again, there's a better life for you out there. Let tonight be the night you get on the new road to finding it. We're right behind you every step of the way. Take care, you can do this! x

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 05:15

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

5.15 am and wide awake . Really feeling down.

No one to text and the head is melted .I've really messed up my life

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 08:24

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

But you haven't ruined your life! You can clean up a mess. Get everything put back in order. It takes time to do it properly but the end result is worth it.
Just a small step a day, that's all you need. Start today Stephen. Dismiss the negative, think the positive. Go for a walk, clear your head. Think about what you want. Never ever give up. Sending you a bucketful of strength.x

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 12:46

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Ah I'm feeling motivated this morning. Can't have a night like that feeling so low .

They do a bus pass scheme in work . Basically they pay for your annual ticket and then take it out of your monthly wages. The deadline to apply is Wednesday so I'm gonna apply for it tomorrow.

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 15:47

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Great news!!! I knew you could do it!
It's sooo easy to drag yourself down. This addiction sends your thoughts into a downward spiral.
There's your first step, apply for your bus pass! Show this addiction you're taking control. No more walking miles to work - besides it'll enable you to have more time at the gym haha!! X

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 09:50

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Stephen

Well done on the bus pass and hope you get that sorted.  Really when you hit rock bottom there is only one other way and that is up! So keeping fingers crossed your life will brighten up a little.  It is hard work but will be worth it in the end.Joining a gym is easy these days and you can pay monthly and you will meet some good people.  Keep going to the counselling sessions - you have to give them and yourself a chance so stick with it.  There again it is something to keep you busy and you will meet other people who are maybe worse off than you.  You are also helping them when they listen to your story.  Take between now and Xmas as  a challenge to set yourself a budget scheme for your monthly wages.  Have a balance sheet ready as soon as they come in.  Its simple - In column (Wages)  - Out column i.e. Food for making sure you eat during the day - Travel expenses - Any rent you may pay to your Mum - Allowance for yourself if you want to go to the cinema, buy magazines, gym membership.

Whatever is left - try and open a savings account and put it in there instead of going down to the bookies etc.  Watch that money growing and save it up for something like a holiday. 

If you find yourself heading for the bookies then train your mind to say NO, turn your back on the shop window and walk away. Go into a coffee shop and treat yourself to a cake and coffee. Stay off the alchohol, eat good meals regularly, get good sleep.   I know you have hit rock bottom but there are many reasons that you should persevere to have a better life. You are young, able to hold down a job whatever you have been going through. You are a useful member of society Stephen and you are worth so much more than you think.  These are very good reasons for you to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning.  I think it would be a great Xmas pressie for LML and me to know that things will get better for you so that you can have a happy relaxed Xmas and New Year.  Please try and take the advice of all your kind supporters above Stephen.  Have a good week. Take care.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 14:17

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Thanks for the comments LML and gamparent.  Ill have a proper read after work.

Just wanted to say that i have applied for the bus ticket for next year.  So next year i will be able to get the bus and the money will automatically be taken from my wages.  So, i do know things will look better and it wont be such a struggle.

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 22:08

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I've had a bit of a rubbish evening tonight with a few things not going right for me so it cheered me right up when I read your post.
It's a great idea to get your bus pass sorted. I hope you're feeling more optimistic today.
Brilliant advice above from gamparentanon. A good diet and rest is a must for your well-being.
Thanks for sharing your news. I look forward to hearing more in the future. x

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 06:31

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Just wondered how you're doing Stephen?
Have you got that gym membership yet?
Hope you're still feeling positive.
Even if you haven't managed this week, don't stay away. Keep posting. x

Posted on:
Sun, 26/11/2017 - 05:31

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi Stephen, just want you to know you have people who think about you on here.
Sending you a hug to help you through the day. It's Sunday - a day of rest for many. Make it a good one. Do something for yourself which will make you happy x

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 21:50

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

So I was meant to be getting counselling from dunlewey services . I rang them because I rang them a month ago looking for help. The woman said she thinks the counsellor has a waiting list . It's amazing how people how little regard for others . Even counsellors. That's the thanks I get for asking for help . Being put on a waiting list

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 22:05

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi Stephen, I have just done my second over the phone councilling with Dunlewey today had to wait about 3 months, guess they are pretty busy,but have to say was  worth the wait was good to talk to someone and get things of my chest.... hope  you can get sorted soon

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 22:05

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I rang dunlewey counselling and told me I was never told there was a waiting list and that my help doesn't begin when the counsellor feels like helping me .

So I took my name off the list and the woman said she was pass the feedback on . And she was a lovely woman so I made sure she knew it wasn't about her .

I'm done with gambling. Whatever happens in life I won't gamble .

I want to die . I wanted to die when my mam told me I was nothing when I was 14 I wanted to die when my alco dad robbed from me .

So I'm gonna spend my time doing something else. Don't look for help. People will only help you on their terms

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 22:21

cg-rambler

Joined:
2017-11-21

Hey Stephen, hang on in there man. I know how difficult it is and how low you can get when you feel hopeless but there is hope man.

I know how lonely it is too mate and in a sense you're right, we can only rely on ourselves and our recovery has to come from within. But you can do it, just keep your focus on getting better and doing everything in your power to make it happen. I know that might make it sound like it's easy when it's not, but you can make this happen for yourself mate and I'm sure you know that deep down. Don't let the ******** keep dragging you down there's so much more to life than this.

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 22:25

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hang in there mate, give gamcare a ring even to just talk to someone, might not feel like it right now but things can get better.... dont give up on the councilling either didnt think they were ever going to get back to me , but they did and have found it a great help.... keep fighting.

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 22:40

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I really don't know what to say Stephen other than it sounds like you have had a really rough time of it and at such a young age too, therefore none of it could have been your fault.
I can understand you being upset at not being able to receive counselling straight away but having your name down for it to come up in a few months time has to be better than never at all. After all you've waited this long and it sounds as though you could really benefit from it, don't dismiss the idea completely. Have another think about it when you're not so upset about it.
Sorry I don't have the right words to say. I Just want you to know I'm thinking about you and that you are special. I look out for a post from you every time I come on here. You deserve better and in time you will have a better quality of life. Hopefully that can be sooner rather than later, would be great if you could achieve it with a bit of help and support.
Never give up, you can move on from this x

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 23:18

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

I'll stop gambling today . No more

The feelings I have will stay with me until I'm at peace.

Nothing really helps. Not unless you accept the help on other people's terms .

Today I'm alive . If there's a god I'll be dead tomorrow

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 09:59

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Stephen - I echo all that is said by the really  kind people above who are willing you to see that there can be a good life out there.  I think you need to go to your GP where you may get some medical help and maybe they can get counselling  a lot quicker or please ring the Samaritans or a group like that today if poss.  You have obviously had some bad experiences with your family that have scarred you but Stephen - please convince yourself that none of that was your fault and to be told you are nothing at 14 should not play on your mind now.  I think everyone has something to offer in life and nobody should ever be written off as "nothing", at whatever age.  That may  have made you feel rubbish at the time but you have managed to get a good job, pass exams and hold on to that job despite it.  In my eyes that makes you very much a hard working employee and you have not let those comments stop you achieving. If your father robbed from you then that is also not your fault  and you should not feel any guilt for something your parent has done.  Keep reading all the posts above and get comfort from that support.  Try taking some of the advice about the gambling.  You already had a positive cheery post about the bus pass so I know you have the capability to try.  I will say one thing, it does not help to be too reclusive - try and mix with other people if poss, even if it is just to smile at someone at the bus stop, say good morning, quick chat about the weather or the late buses!   Please post on here later on or  tomorrow to let us know you are ok. Take care.

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 12:05

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Stephen

It's really worrying that you are feeling so down and yet you are rejecting the help that is out there. I know it's not ideal that there is a waiting list but believe us when we say it's not a case of 'when the counsellor feels like' helping you. It will be a case of limited resources. Taking yourself off the waiting list is not helping yourself. As gamparentanon suggests, try looking for other surces of counselling as well. 

It's particularly worrying that you are saying you don't want to be alive tomorrow. You need to get help for these feelings. Can you tell your doctor? Contact the Samaritans on 116 123?

Keep posting regularly becuase it will help you to keep checking in with a community of people who all have the same goal as yourself. 

Best wishes,

Deirdre

Forum Admin.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 21:26

Stephen55570

Joined:
2017-11-07

Explain to me gamcecare how I'm refusing help.

I looked for counselling two months ago. Was told they had someone perfect for me and they would ring me back. I heard nothing since then . So Thursday I was drunk and decided to tell them to go ***** themselves .

I asked for help. I got no help . Explain yourself gamecare

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 18:05

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Stephen,

Is it right that you are based in Dublin, in the Republic of Ireland?  GamCare doesn't provide services in Ireland, so it is good that you approached Dunlewey.  From what I can gather from your diary thread, it sounds like you were on a waiting list to see one of their counsellors, and you asked them to take you off the waiting list, and that is probably what my colleague was referring to in her post.  It is good that you reached out for support and we would encourage you to keep on doing that.  You might also benefit from the support of your doctor and other local services in Dublin.

https://www.samaritans.org/branches/samaritans-dublin-branch

Take care,

Forum admin.

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 12:41

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Stephen

From what I am reading there are 2 things you need to address as well as the gambling - and I have said this so many times to you before - and am speaking of how this affected our gambler.  The drinking - if you cut down or stop the alchohol you will be able to think more clearly.  Also any anger issues you may have. Swearing and aggression will get you knowhere except the risk of you isolating yourself even further.  How would you  like someone saying that to you?   What makes  you more angry if you have had a bad day? - taking comfort in the alcohol - it is only making your emotions worse.  Like the gambling it is a quick fix with bad consequences.  You have to keep plugging away at the counselling.  The GA meetings are easy to go to as you did the other day.  Use those until your appontments come through.  Ring helplines and especially use the Samaritans link Gamcare have given you.  I have spent many hours trying to help you and offer you ways of helping yourself .  Look back at those posts and see if you can put some of it into practice.  We, including Gamcare, are not physically there to help you but the fact that we have all spent so much time with you means that people as far away as England are constantly rooting for you.  But sometimes I feel I am banging my head against a brick wall with the support I am offering you as a parent figure.  You are so angry with the world that it is blocking your vision.  Please take a deep breath and try and calm down.  Read all your supportive posts, read other posts where people are in dire situations,  ring Samaritans, talk to people, write your feelings down.  If you keep blocking the help people are offering you may find that the support will drift away.  Gamcare have been brilliant with you as have LML etc.  Sorry to sound a bit hard on this post but sometimes a bit of tough-support is necessary. 

I will not be able to be on Gamcare  now until after Xmas so I am really hoping you will absorb some of this meanwhile.  I hope your target is to make 2018 a gfree year.  Take care Stephen.